Welcome to the Anger Release Drilling Exercise.
This is a 10-step exercise that I'm going to guide you through.
This drilling exercise can be helpful to release any feelings of frustration or anger that you have towards yourself,
Another person,
An organization,
Or perhaps a situation.
It's ideal if you have a paper and pen handy for this exercise and be able to actually write out the steps as I guide you through them.
You can complete this on a computer and type out the answers to the steps.
However,
The greatest benefit comes from actually writing it out on paper and using a pen if whenever possible.
It's also important that you're in a safe space when doing this exercise and be sure to obtain professional help if the feelings that come up from this exercise lead to actions that could potentially harm yourself or another.
Step one is the upset.
This is where you think of something that's upsetting you.
You're coming to do this exercise and there's something that's occurring in your life that's upsetting for you.
Just think about that for a moment.
You can write it down if that's helpful in a statement or two.
Step two is your intention.
Write down what you actually want to walk away experiencing after going through this exercise.
All the anger is gone.
You've released it all.
Frustration is no more.
What do you actually want to be experiencing?
Write down that in a statement or two.
Step three is the event.
Write down the specifics of what happened.
You're going to play private investigator for this step.
Dealing with the facts.
So who was involved?
What happened?
When did it occur?
Where did it occur?
Just writing out the facts.
Take a few moments and write that out.
As you're doing this,
You can always pause to take some time to write out your answers to this step before continuing.
Step four is your reactions and thoughts.
This is where you're going to write out all your reactions,
All your thoughts.
All the things that are going on inside of you that you want to release and get out.
All the words,
No matter how loud it is,
You want to put it all down on paper.
Just let it out.
Let the ego have its voice here.
Just get everything out.
Whatever you want to say to the other people that are involved that maybe you wouldn't normally say in person,
You can write that out,
Whatever you're mad about towards yourself,
Get that out on paper as well.
And just know that you can always rip up the piece of paper,
Delete the file.
Just know that you can destroy what you're writing if you want to make sure that no one else reads it.
So take a good amount of time getting that anger out.
Allow that voice to be present.
And you may be writing out the same thing over and over again.
That's okay.
Just get that anger released and give it a voice.
And it can be as loud and wild as it needs to be while doing it safely at the same time.
So step five is your feelings.
This is where you're going to write down how you actually are feeling about this situation now that the anger has been released.
So a good way to start this step is to write this statement and then complete it.
Underneath my anger,
I'm really feeling.
And you can keep your pen on the paper and continue to write.
Underneath my anger,
I'm really feeling.
And then fill in the blank.
And you may be writing out the same thing multiple times.
You may be writing out different things when you write that statement to complete it.
But really allow those feelings to come up.
And as much as possible,
Be open to actually feeling them.
Not just writing them on paper,
But allowing those feelings to be present.
And that you're actually feeling them.
For me,
Sadness showed up the majority of the time when I released any anger.
And so I just learned to allow the sadness just to be there.
It's okay for the sadness to be there.
It's okay to cry.
So spend some time and allow those feelings to show up as much as you can.
Step six is just like when.
So you're going to write down when in your life this feeling first showed up.
How old were you?
What grade were you in?
Where were you living?
What was the location of the event?
What was the time of year?
What was the season?
Was there a specific life event that happened?
When you first felt sad.
When you first felt ashamed.
When you first felt guilty.
When was those moments where those feelings first showed up for you?
Write those down.
And step seven is what are you making it mean about yourself?
So you had this feeling of sadness or shame.
So write down at those moments,
What were you believing about yourself as a result of the event?
Perhaps I'm a failure.
I'm not good enough.
I'm weak.
I'm not lovable.
Whatever it may be for you.
What is the belief that you've had about yourself showing up?
And you can even take it a step further.
And how does it feel to believe this?
This is really a false belief.
You're connecting to the false beliefs that in those moments you made the true beliefs.
Beliefs that you actually were believing and connecting to.
Step eight is what really happened and what is true about you?
So now you're going to write down what really happened at the event.
If you're looking at it as an outsider.
When it unfolded.
So you can ask yourself,
What's true about me?
The other people involved and the reason that this must have happened.
What is it for?
What's the bigger purpose of this event?
What's the lesson in it?
For me and for my life.
Also in this step.
You want to consider if someone like Buddha or Mother Teresa watched this event.
What would they say it's for?
And the idea here is you're not finished this step.
Unless you agree with them.
And when you're first doing this step.
Depending on the upset that you have.
You may not agree 100% with them.
Of what it's for.
There's a bigger reason.
It may not feel like there's a bigger reason because it's really hard to deal with right now.
But can you access 10,
20,
30% that you're in agreement with?
Someone like Buddha or Mother Teresa that's full of unconditional love.
Can you step into 100% of that 10% that you're believing right now?
He's always come back and you can do the exercise again.
But just really step into however much you're you're believing is actually possible and go all in on that.
Now an optional thing you can do in this step.
Step number eight.
Is correct what really happened in the past.
So if you're looking at the past event as an outsider.
When it happened.
What's true about yourself and other people and the reason.
You may actually see a pattern.
That one event that happened back when you were in grade five.
Is actually replaying itself.
Again as a 30 or 40 year old.
And you've just learned.
A certain way of dealing with it.
And haven't been able to unlearn.
That pattern.
And really look at what's what's in fact true about yourself.
We move on to step nine.
This is the action step.
This is where you reflect on what would be a demonstration of applying what is actually true about myself.
Anyone associated with this event and perhaps even those that were involved in the past.
What would be a demonstration of of you stepping into what's actually true about yourself.
That could be something you do on your own.
It could be something that you do with other people.
It could be a conversation that you're having with somebody.
To be able to share your understanding of what that event was for.
What's true about yourself.
What's true about them.
You get to decide what the the most appropriate action at this time is for you.
And then step ten is is to reflect on how you feel after taking that action.
So you've taken that action.
How did you feel after that?
And are you able to see things differently?
Act differently?
Based on being able to have this new perspective of what's true about you.
When these events occur that typically cause you to get angry and frustrated when perhaps there's really sadness underneath it that you're needing to feel to be able to to then feel happiness and joy.
Because those feelings don't last forever.
They're there for a moment.
They're there for a couple minutes.
And then another feeling will show up.
So that's the anger release drilling exercise.
It may take one attempt to release feelings of anger or it may take a few attempts over the course of a few days or weeks to work through this exercise depending on what you're working through.
Thanks so much for listening.
