Hi love.
If you're here right now,
You might be feeling irritated,
Annoyed or emotionally hooked by someone else.
Maybe they said something that rubbed you the wrong way.
Maybe they didn't show up the way you expected.
Maybe they were rude,
Dismissive,
Arrogant,
Unfair or simply triggering.
So before we do anything else,
Take a slow breath in through your nose and let it go gently through your mouth.
Let your body arrive here.
I want to start by saying this clearly.
The person you're upset with is out of your control.
Their tone,
Their behaviour,
Their choices,
Their timing,
Their personality,
None of that is yours to manage.
And this is where so much of our frustration comes from.
Trying to control what simply isn't controllable.
So let's simplify this.
When someone irritates you,
You really only have two options.
The first option is trying to change them.
Trying to make them understand.
Trying to get them to behave differently.
Trying to prove that you're right.
And if you're honest,
You already know how that usually ends.
More tension,
More anger,
More energy wasted.
The second option is this.
You let them be who they are and you choose what you do next.
Letting someone be who they are does not mean you approve.
It does not mean you agree.
And it definitely does not mean you accept being mistreated.
It simply means you stop fighting reality.
They said what they said.
They did what they did.
They are who they are right now.
And instead of trying to control them,
You turn your attention back to yourself.
How do I want to respond?
What feels right for me?
What protects my energy?
And what aligns with my values?
Sometimes that means staying calm.
Sometimes it means stepping back.
Sometimes it means setting a boundary.
Sometimes it means leaving the situation altogether.
Boundaries are not about changing the other person.
They're about deciding what you allow access to.
And I want to share an image with you.
Imagine you're looking through a camera,
Filming a scene on a big cinema screen.
But the image looks blurry.
There's dirt,
Smudges,
Distortion.
If you walk up to the screen and try to wipe it clean,
Nothing happens.
The problem isn't the screen.
The problem is the lens.
And the only way to fix the image is to clean the lens you're looking through.
Other people are the screen.
You cannot scrub them into clarity.
But you can clean your own lens,
Your perspective,
Your expectations,
Your boundaries.
When you stop trying to change what's out there and instead adjust how close you stand,
How long you look,
And what you engage with,
The image changes.
So right now,
Ask yourself gently,
Is this something I need to address?
Or is this something I need to release?
Is this worth my energy?
Or am I paying a high emotional price for something I can't control?
Take a breath.
You're allowed to choose peace without being passive.
You are allowed to step away without explaining yourself.
You are allowed to let people be who they are and still take excellent care of yourself.
Notice what happens in your body when you stop trying to manage things.
Let someone else.
Let your shoulders soften.
Let your jaw relax.
Let the tension loosen its grip.
This is you reclaiming your power.
Stay here for a few breaths longer.
You don't need to fix them.
You don't need to convince them.
You only need to choose what's right for you.
And that is more than enough.
If you notice how much your body reacts in moments like this,
My Nervous System course here on InsideTimer offers more tools to help you respond with clarity instead of tension.
I hope to see you there.
