Anxiety wasn't something I'd really suffered a great deal with in my life before I had breast cancer last year.
Sure I'd had moments and even periods of time when I felt kind of wobbly on my feet I guess but it was never anything that I found debilitating.
I don't know whether it was the cocktail of drugs or whether it's now that I'm in the full swing of menopause that it knocked me for six.
And I think it's fair to say that a bit like having cancer it's not until you've experienced real overwhelming immobilising anxiety that you know what it's really like.
People and friends do have good intentions but they often end up saying something that feels a bit alien to us.
I'm sure you know what I mean.
And what I'd like to do here is share some of the things that I have found really worked for me when I was in the grip of a anxiety attack and maybe you'll find some or all of these things helpful for you.
The first thing I would do and I would suggest is to find somewhere where you feel safe.
That to me feels the most important thing.
It could be sat on your bed,
It could be actually out in nature somewhere.
Somewhere where you can feel completely yourself and safe.
I try to make sure that my feet are on the ground.
There's something really important about grounding for me.
Literally having my feet either in my socks or bare feet connecting me to the earth,
Connecting me to the world.
Because I know that my anxiety just takes me up into my head and I feel that I'm spinning a bit.
So this grounding with my feet literally on the ground helps with that.
It's kind of settling.
Sit down if you can.
Get somewhere comfortable.
Create a nest if you like and then begin to focus on your breath.
I would breathe in for four if I could.
Hold for four.
Exhale slowly for four and then pause.
I then begin to notice my breath.
Notice what the air felt like in my nostrils.
What was it like?
Was it cool?
Could I feel that breath going up through my nose and into my lungs?
And what did it feel like as I exhaled?
Did I notice how much warmer it was as it was coming back out of my body?
I'd then notice where I was breathing.
Was it high up in my throat?
Could I deepen it a little?
Was it in my chest?
Could I deepen it a little?
And sometimes that was all I needed to do was just to focus on my breath.
To settle myself.
To count.
To take myself out of my head and back into my body.
Sometimes I'd then notice where my shoulders were.
Could I relax them?
Because often our shoulders are up by our ears and if we can just gently drop our shoulders down our back and go back to our breathing that helps us relax.
Sometimes I'd notice where I felt gripped by tension and could I try and breathe into that space?
I'd often find that my head felt like it was in a vice and I'd breathe into that space,
Into my head space,
Into that painful feeling of this vice and I'd soothe it with each breath.
Each inhale.
Each pause.
Each exhale.
Each pause.
And I'd allow myself all the time I needed.
There was no hurry.
I would just rest in this space.
And one of the things that I also found really helpful was imagining my feet growing roots.
Stabilizing me.
And that to me was such a beautiful image.
However wobbly I felt like a tree in the wind.
That my roots were strong and they were grounding me and keeping me on the earth.
Maybe you'll find that helpful too.
I would often put my arms around myself.
Soothing myself.
Just as someone who loves me would do.
Or how I would do with a small child.
And maybe you might like to do that too.
And then another beautiful thing for me to do was to imagine myself in nature.
Going to my happy place in nature.
And in my mind's eye I would go there.
And for me that's a rocky beach near where I live.
And every time I felt so overwhelmed with the barrage of treatment that I was getting.
That I would use my senses to calm my mind.
What can I see?
What can I smell?
What can I hear?
What can I reach out and touch?
And then you could ask yourself this question.
What do I need right now?
And wait for the answer.
What do I need right now?
It might be that you need to rest.
It might mean that you need a cup of tea.
It might mean that you need to have a good cry.
Or a hug.
But see what happens for you when you ask that question.
What do I need right now?
And I love this quote from the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh who says,
Breathing in I calm my body.
Breathing out I smile.
And I hope that you found this helpful.
That there are some little nuggets in there that you could bring into your own practice to help you when you are feeling anxious.
Sending love.
Speak to you again soon.
Bye for now.
