Introduction The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
Anne Frank Many people are in careers and lives they feel they never completely chose for themselves.
Suddenly,
They see that many of the decisions they've made over the years were done in an effort to fit in or gain approval.
Some made choices based upon what they believed their parents or society had told them were appropriate or worthy.
Somewhere along the line,
They stopped following their own hearts.
One decision led to another,
And they lost track of the hopes and dreams they had in early adulthood.
They thought that by putting themselves first,
They were acting selfishly.
They hoped that by conforming,
They were making the right decisions,
Maybe the easier ones.
However,
Somewhere deep down,
They now battle with the insidious feeling that they are not as happy or as fulfilled as they could be.
They are in a place where they no longer even allow themselves to think about what they might want to be or do.
I've been lucky enough to work with a wide range of amazing clients,
People from different ethnic backgrounds,
Professions,
And life experiences,
Men and women,
Young and old.
The issues they've worked through are similarly diverse.
They all have their own stories,
Wants,
Needs,
And fears,
And they bring those with them as they travel this life journey.
Not one is the same as any other.
Yet over the years,
I've noticed that many share one very interesting characteristic.
They're not giving themselves permission to live their best lives.
This controversial but simple concept lies at the root of all sorts of other issues that often cause difficulty and stress.
This challenging phrase can stand between them and the lives they feel they just might deserve.
In seminars,
Workshops,
And individual coaching sessions,
I regularly address the concept of personal responsibility.
I strongly believe that we are all leaders in our own lives and that we have the power and responsibility to take action to make change.
Of course,
We have responsibilities to others and to society as a whole,
But we have the ultimate say in what happens in our lives.
Things out of our control may happen to us,
But we have a say in how to react to or feel about them and how we move forward.
This is not immediately evident to many,
And sometimes we give away this personal power.
Ever since I can remember,
I have wanted to write a book.
It seemed like a calling.
I had quite a colorful upbringing,
And I often thought that it would make a good story.
Of course,
I imagined I would write it as fiction.
No one would believe all my family's adventures,
And there was no way I was going to air out our dirty laundry.
After my MS diagnosis and an encounter with a man named Joe Allen,
I saw everything in a different light.
Things started to change for me.
I formally trained as a psychotherapist and then decided to do a life coaching course as I liked the forward focus and goal-setting aspect of coaching.
It soon became clear that my life's purpose and work would center on guiding people to empower themselves and encouraging people to seek their own freedom.
I finally came to understand that by sharing my story and those of some of my clients,
Alongside a few concepts,
Tools,
And exercises in a personal development book,
I might be able to help others.
I knew I wanted to write a book to help people facing the same kinds of hurdles as my clients,
But it wasn't until I had dinner with two of my oldest friends and one of their business associates that I got the fundamental concept for this book.
I mentioned that I was writing on empowerment,
But that I was struggling to identify the salient component.
Jim,
My friend's colleague,
Asked me what the one thing was that got in the way of people empowering themselves.
Without skipping a beat,
I said,
They don't give themselves permission.
Then my friend Crispin said,
There you have it,
That should be in the title.
At that point,
It all became clear.
It was then that Give Yourself Permission to Live Your Life was born.
And as a footnote,
In the book,
The S in yourself is capitalized,
And I want to share the rationale of why I chose to do this.
Honestly,
As I was outlining the book,
It just came to me.
I shortened each chapter and concept to gysp2.
.
.
And it stuck.
I like the treatment,
And I feel that it differentiates the concept from the norm.
Also,
The self is a large part of the journey and what I write about,
So I wanted to highlight it.
Many have said it is jarring.
This is why I'm only using it in the title,
Headers,
As part of the permission journey,
And in other obvious places,
But not part of the basic text.
If we listen carefully to those in business,
Politics,
And the self-help and personal development arenas,
We hear them tell people to give themselves permission.
But I would argue that some of their audience might just not know how to,
And that is why I have written this book,
Which is all about the quiet side of empowerment,
Or coming into empowerment through the back door.
There comes a point when people reach a place where they realize it is time to challenge the status quo.
They know that in their heart of hearts that something needs to change,
But they have no idea where to start.
Since you are listening to this audiobook,
You probably already know that something is not working in your life,
And that you both want and need to fix it.
It may have taken you a while to reach this realization.
Perhaps now you are finally ready to talk about it,
Or to start making changes,
Even if you don't yet know how.
Showing up is a big step,
And arguably the most important.
My clients often need to learn how to listen to themselves,
Value themselves,
And do little things to prove to themselves that their opinions and needs matter before they embark on fulfilling their individual goals and dreams.
Give Yourself Permission to Live Your Life incorporates a step-by-step process called the permission journey,
Which systematically will guide you through what many of my clients have already experienced.
These techniques and concepts have allowed them to flourish and lead much happier lives,
Lives where they are also in much healthier relationships.
I don't want to tell you what to do,
But I do want to share my experience,
Education,
And knowledge with you.
My hope is that some part of what I have picked up along the path as a therapist,
Life coach,
Constant student,
And inquisitive human being will resonate with you in some small way,
And that you will learn some skills that will enrich your life.
My vision for you is that you arrive at some awareness for yourself,
In the hope that you will see things a little differently.
Ideally,
By the end of this audiobook,
You will think and feel that you have every right to your dreams,
Goals,
And aspirations.
You will have given yourself permission to try a few of the techniques described and feel more empowered.
In time,
The goal would be that you'll unconsciously start integrating a more supportive and positive mindset into your everyday life,
Until you are wholeheartedly living without guilt,
With minimal conflict,
And in harmonious relationships with your family,
Friends,
Co-workers,
And all the amazing characters you have the privilege of meeting in your lifetime.
