Like an annoying neighbor,
Or that voice that carries through an entire building,
She begins to chatter,
Always at the most inconvenient of moments.
The sound of her voice slowly but surely begins to drown out the peace and quiet of our inner sanctuary.
Just as we were settling into silence,
Just as we were getting ready to create something new,
Along she comes,
Sometimes so loudly that we can no longer hear ourselves think.
But who is she?
Who does she belong to?
Maybe an ancestor we're still carrying heavy baggage for?
An old painful memory?
Maybe she's simply the voice of the busyness of the world,
Or society's conditioning that says,
Who are you to do that?
Who are you to believe you can be anything other than regular?
And who are you to think you really have anything worthwhile to say?
Her words can feel harsh,
Like nettles that at first simply brush the surface of the skin,
But then sting and sting and sting.
Some days,
We might choose to let this voice make us give up altogether.
After all,
Who has the energy to compete with someone so loud,
So opinionated,
So confident?
And so we shut down and rest until we're ready to try again.
But one day,
We realise this voice,
This chatter,
Is never going to quiet down if we keep allowing it to control us,
Or if we choose to keep running away from it.
So instead,
We get curious,
And we might decide to ask it,
Is everything okay?
You seem especially loud today.
Is there something you need?
Are you scared?
Is there anything I can do to help you understand that it's safe to be quiet and still with me?
And then,
As if by magic,
As we finally turn towards her instead of turning away,
We realise this isn't the voice of a loud,
Annoying adult.
It's the voice of a very scared little girl.
Her bright eyes well up with tears as she reminds us of the times she was told it wasn't safe to create.
I was shouted at for mixing paint and making a mess,
She says.
I was told to get a sensible job that pays well instead of trying to be a writer.
We've been here before and we were criticised,
So I'm just trying to keep you safe by keeping you stuck.
Can't you see that?
As she continues with her tales,
Her explanations and her stories,
It becomes very clear that all we need to do is slowly move towards her and wrap her in our embrace.
As we do,
Her chatter finally softens and she relaxes into gentle,
Sobbing tears.
As the tears fall,
As she begins to feel the relief she needed,
She realises that letting go of her protesting is much easier than trying to keep the loudness of her stories alive and there's actually nothing to fear in the silence.
Because now,
She can start to hear the whispers with us.
The ones that were drowned out before.
The ones that had been masked by the chatter of fears from lifetimes,
Lineages and years of conditioning on how to be a quiet,
Neat,
Good little girl.
Finally,
In the spaciousness,
She can allow herself to embrace the perfection of her messiness and she can hear the only voice she needs to hear.
The voice of God.
Her own voice.
Her own intuition.
Her own love.
The parts of us that get scared will never fully go away and that's okay.
But we can learn to comfort them.
Remind them that they're safe.
Remind them that possibility and hope and creativity and magic are much more interesting than the stories or painful memories ever will be.
And in a place of togetherness,
With our little selves soothed and at ease,
We're free to finally play again.
We're free to explore with curiosity and wonder.
Now that we know this chatter isn't even close to who we really are,
We're so much more than we sometimes allow ourselves to be.
My deepest wish for each of us is that we remember we are all an expression of the divine.
Here to be a channel for wisdom,
For love and for the helpful voices.
May we remember each day that the whispers of our soul are more important than the chatter and that the deeper messages we receive are worth sharing.
May we always choose to soothe and quiet the chatter of our minds and the fears of our younger selves and tune into the wisdom and beauty of our eternal hearts and souls.
