Greetings and welcome.
To the Octopus Grief Collection Meditation Series.
I deserve to be held too.
There are moments in life.
When we become so accustomed to holding everything together.
Holding our families.
Holding our relationships.
Holding the expectations of others.
Holding responsibilities.
Participate in.
And sometimes.
.
.
Holding grief.
That no one even knows.
We are carrying.
Perhaps you have become the person everyone turns to.
The one.
Who always listens.
Who always makes time.
Who understands.
Who makes room.
The one who,
Somehow,
Find another arm.
To hold something else.
But I wonder.
Who holds you?
Greetings and welcome.
For the next few moments.
There is nothing that you need to accomplish.
Nothing that you need to prove.
And no particular way that you need to feel.
If you want to,
You can close your eyes if that feels comfortable or simply soften your gaze.
But I invite you just to notice the surface that's supporting you.
Allowing yourself to become aware of your breathing.
Without needing to change it.
Imagine.
Just for a moment.
The vast,
Beautiful ocean.
Spread out before you.
The water moving gently.
Light.
Filtering through the surface.
And somewhere within this expansive underwater world.
An octopus.
With eight arms,
Eight remarkable arms.
Capable of reaching,
Holding,
Exploring,
Protecting,
And connecting.
Maybe there's something that's really familiar about this creature.
That you've noticed.
The capacity to reach in so many directions.
To respond to so many needs,
So many demands.
So many requests.
It holds so much.
And yet even the octopus.
Doesn't spend every moment holding.
There are moments of resting,
Moments of shelter,
Moments of simply being.
I invite you to become curious about something.
When you hear the words,
I deserve to be held too.
What happens inside of you?
Maybe something begins to soften.
Or something starts to resist.
Or gets agitated.
Or becomes mournful.
Or worried.
Or maybe there's a part of you that just responds.
Of course you do.
You absolutely deserve.
To be held to.
While another part may be wondering.
Do I really?
Is that possible?
Can that ever happen?
Maybe receiving support feels unfamiliar.
Maybe you've learned that depending on others comes with disappointment.
Maybe you've experienced times when you needed someone.
And no one came.
No one was there.
And it felt like No one cared.
No one recognized.
That you were in need.
If any of this resonates.
There is no need to push those feelings away.
You don't have to convince yourself of anything.
You're invited just to notice it.
What has your relationship been?
With deserving.
What is your relationship?
With that word.
Deserve.
Have you learned that care must be earned,
That rest must be justified,
That you must give enough before you can receive anything in return?
That you have to pay into it in order to make a withdrawal.
Maybe you believe that others deserve compassion.
Understanding.
And support.
But when it comes to you.
Everything changes.
That you don't deserve those things.
You're not to expect those things.
That you shouldn't even hope to see.
For those things.
But what if?
For just a moment.
You could consider.
Another possibility.
A different reality.
What if your worthiness?
Of care.
Was never.
Ever dependent upon how much you could carry.
Or how much you paid in.
That it wasn't contingent on how much you've been there for other people.
If you've done enough.
Take a moment just to imagine.
The octopus gently withdrawing one arm back towards itself and then another.
Not abandoning what matters.
Not turning away from those it loves,
But simply remembering.
That it exists.
That it too exists.
And if it feels okay,
Maybe you can place one of your hands somewhere that feels comfortable for you.
Over your heart,
On your arms,
Resting on your lap.
But you can also choose to remain just as you are.
Can you?
Quietly consider these words.
I am allowed.
To have needs.
I am allowed to receive care.
I don't have to carry everything alone.
I deserve to be held too.
Take a moment just to notice which statement.
Feels possible.
Who are you?
There's no need to force an agreement.
There's no need to embrace something if it's not resonating within your system.
Sometimes.
Just considering a new possibility is meaningful.
Is life changing?
It can spark hope.
That things can be different.
Now imagine the octopus resting within the gentle movement of the ocean.
Supported.
By the water surrounding it.
It doesn't have to hold the entire ocean.
The ocean.
Is holding it.
Perhaps you can allow yourself to wonder.
What might being held look like for me?
Would it mean being listened to?
Being believed?
Having someone remain present without trying to fix me?
Being able to ask for help,
Knowing.
That someone would be there.
Someone would be willing.
Or maybe simply having permission to rest.
Maybe being held also means allowing yourself.
To recognize when you need something.
Giving yourself permission to acknowledge that.
How freeing is that?
And remembering that receiving support does not make you less capable.
Let your system know that you don't have to give an answer today.
You don't have to make any changes right now.
You don't even have to accept it.
And you don't have to trust anybody.
Before you feel ready to do so.
You are simply beginning a conversation with yourself.
And as we begin to close,
I invite you to notice.
The surface beneath you again.
The sounds around you,
The space that you are occupying.
And see if it's okay to just carry a question with you.
What would change if I began including myself?
Among the people.
I believe deserve care.
You have held so much.
You have made room for so many.
And perhaps There's room for you too.
You deserve to be held.
Not because of everything that you've done.
Not because of everything that you survived.
But because you matter.
Do you?
Matter.
Thank you so much for spending these moments with me.
This has been an octopus grief meditation.
Entitled,
I deserve to be held to.
And YouTube.
Thank you and bye bye for now.
