Meditation For Women: Presence Without Apology

You apologize for things that don't require an apology. Not because you're weak. Because somewhere along the way taking up space started to feel like something that needed justifying. You're not too much. You were just in the wrong rooms for a long time.

This meditation is for the woman who is done pre-apologizing for herself.

Part of The Whole Series by Meditaai — a series for women who were never taught they were already enough.

Transcript

You would apologize for things that don't require an apology. Not because you're weak, Because somewhere along the way, Taking up space started to feel like something that needed justifying. Sorry for having an opinion. Sorry for needing something. Sorry for existing at full volume in a room that made you feel like you should be quieter. You're not too much. You were just in the wrong rooms for a long time. Find where you're sitting. Let the body be exactly the size it is. No adjustments needed right now. Bring your attention to the shoulders. Notice if they're pulled in slightly, Making yourself a little smaller than your actual size. This is what happens when presence has been a problem. The body learns to pre-apologize before anyone says anything. Let them widen slightly, Just to your actual edges. Not performing confidence, Just occupying the space that's already yours. Move to the voice, The throat. Think about the last time you started a sentence with sorry when what you meant was, I need something. Or qualified an opinion before you'd even finished having it. Or laughed at yourself before anyone else could. Not that that was an accident, But was a strategy. Make yourself smaller before they do it for you. But you've been doing it so long you stop noticing how much it costs. Not the chest. Is there something in there that wants to say something it hasn't been allowed to say? Not to anyone specific. Just out loud. Just into the room. Just to be heard by yourself. Let it have a little space. You don't have to speak it. Just stop asking it to be quiet. Presence without apology doesn't mean being loud. It doesn't mean taking over, It doesn't mean demanding. It doesn't mean performing confidence you don't always feel. It means walking into a room and not immediately looking for permission to be there. It means saying what you mean without the sorry first. It means letting your face do what it actually wants to do. Instead of managing the impression before anyone has one. It means trusting your actual size. Your real thoughts, Your real needs, Your real reactions. And not too much. You're exactly right for someone who is actually here. Sorry is not the price of having needs. My presence does not require justification. I can be fully here without making myself smaller first. I am not too much. I am exactly enough. But full size. Let the shoulders stay wide. Let the throat be easy. Let the chest carry only what's actually yours. You have spent so much energy managing how much of you was allowed in the room. This is a few minutes. I just being all of you. Without editing. Without the apology up front. Without checking if it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It was always okay. Take a fuller breath. Let the room come back. You're gonna walk back out into situations that will make you want to shrink again. But now there's a part of you that knows the difference between choosing to be gentle and defaulting to being less. One is yours. The other was never acquired. Sorry for size.