5 Steps To Handle Life’s Challenges

Life throws challenges our way, and resilience is what helps us navigate them with confidence. In this track, you'll discover five practical ways to strengthen your resilience, so you can face setbacks without feeling overwhelmed. Each step is simple, actionable, and designed to help you shift your mindset, manage stress, and build inner strength.

By the end, you'll feel more equipped to handle life's ups and downs with greater ease.

Transcript

I would like you to recall the last time that something didn't quite go according to plan.

What did it look like?

How did it sound?

What did it feel like?

What were the thoughts that popped into your head?

How did you show up afterwards?

What actions did you take?

According to the dictionary,

Resilience is the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties.

Or to quote my daughter,

Getting back up when you feel like you've been knocked down.

The people I work with,

They are trying to get back up because they feel like they've been knocked down.

They're experiencing their own personal difficulties,

Whether it's divorce,

Redundancy,

Retirement,

Return to work mums.

Their today doesn't look how it did yesterday.

The experience they're going through,

For them,

Feels uncertain,

Awkward,

Uncomfortable.

And they're working through it.

By working on their resilience,

They can then better navigate life.

Because life will throw you a curveball.

Over the next 15 minutes or so,

I'm going to share with you what resilience means to me and how you can build your resilience.

Because one thing that I've learned in life is that it's my resilience that will always help me to move forward.

Because when anybody has ever said to me,

No,

You can't,

You won't,

You shouldn't,

You're too old,

You're too young,

You don't know enough,

You don't have the right experience,

You'll never succeed.

It's my resilience that's kept me going.

So before I share with you my five tips for building resilience,

I have two questions for you.

The first one is,

Why do you need to build resilience?

Just take a moment to think about that.

For you,

Why do you need to build resilience?

Well,

As you know,

Life does not always go according to plan.

And if every time you get knocked down,

You decided to stay down,

You wouldn't really be living life.

So you need to build resilience so that you can get back up when things don't go the way you thought they would.

So my second question to you is,

How do you go about building resilience?

What do you need to do so you can build resilience?

For me,

This comes in two parts.

The first one is putting yourself in a position where you knowingly could get knocked down.

Because the more times you experience getting knocked down,

The easier it will be to then get back up.

The other part is creating an environment where it's easy to get back up.

So here are my five tips for building resilience.

Number one,

Step outside your comfort zone.

What is a comfort zone?

Well,

It's that invisible barrier we build around ourselves that tells everybody what is okay and what isn't.

And the things inside are those things that we're comfortable with and the things outside we don't like.

And everybody's comfort zone is a different size.

Some are big,

Some are small.

You might have a comfort zone which is really big,

Which means you've got no problem doing a bungee jump,

Skydiving,

Jumping out of a plane at 40,

000 feet.

You might have a comfort zone that's really,

Really,

Really small.

And you need to know everything that's going on and you like your routine and you stick to your routine.

Now,

Neither one or the other is right or wrong.

However,

If you want to start building your resilience,

You need to slowly start nudging out your comfort zone.

I remember the morning when my son was about to start year two and he would have been six at the time and he wasn't very happy.

He really didn't want to go back to school.

You see,

He'd finished year one in a really good place.

He loved his teacher.

He got on with him so well and he liked the little buddy he had sitting next to him and he knew exactly where his classroom was.

Well,

That was back in July and here we were at the beginning of September and he was about to go in on his first day.

He had no idea who he'd be sitting next to and there were some children that he really wasn't keen on sitting next to.

He also wasn't quite sure where his classroom was because he'd only been there once and that was a couple of months ago and he would be having a new teacher.

He didn't know how she taught her children,

Her students,

And he was worried he was going to call her Miss Cook when her name is Miss Baker.

So as I held his hand as we were walking to school,

Knowing that he was experiencing these emotions that for him really weren't very nice,

I simply looked at him and I said,

Luca,

What if those feelings were actually feelings of excitement?

We carried on walking for a while in silence and he eventually turned to me and said,

Mummy,

You might be right.

Because it's the words we use,

Whether it's out loud or in our heads,

That give a situation meaning.

And it's those words that then determine how we're feeling and those feelings influence how we show up and the actions we take,

Which ultimately lead to the experience we go through.

So I encourage you to think about the words that you are using,

Whether they are out loud or in your head.

Step number two,

Take action.

Last year in February,

I decided to self-publish a book in just six weeks.

Yes,

I know,

Mad,

Or maybe I just like a challenge.

I set myself the target of publishing on the 31st of March,

Which was Easter Sunday.

Why?

Well,

Because I like a challenge.

I like to learn new stuff.

And also I wanted to see what was possible.

So I broke it down into exactly what needed to happen so that within those six weeks,

By the end of those six weeks,

I would have self-published a book.

And each day I took small,

Consistent actions that would take me one step closer day by day.

And actually,

I ended up publishing the book on Good Friday,

A couple of days before my deadline.

Because I took action.

And it's not that I just took action.

I took small,

Consistent steps to get me to where I knew I wanted to go.

And it's like I tell my daughter,

I'm not asking you to climb a mountain.

I'm not asking you to run a marathon.

I'm just asking you to take one small step.

And that's all I'm asking you to do.

I'm asking you that in the face of adversity,

When you feel like you've been knocked down and you really don't want to get back up,

Think about the smallest of steps,

The smallest of actions that you can take to get yourself back up and get yourself to moving again.

Tip number three,

Be fearless in failing.

So,

Maria Newman is not my first experience of business.

My first experience of business was Fill That Space,

A company that I built that no longer exists.

And I decided,

After much effort and time,

That that wasn't what I was supposed to be doing.

I was supposed to be helping individuals just like me,

A mum who had left the corporate world and was trying to decide what was next.

Those were the people who I was supposed to be helping.

And so I thought,

Well,

How can I help these women who are trying to find themselves in life and find what their purpose is?

And I thought,

Well,

It's easy.

I just create an online course,

Which is accessible when it's right for those individuals.

And through this course,

I can guide them to be where they want to be.

So I lovingly created this online course.

I spent lots of time and energy putting together an online course that I thought would help.

And I put it out into the world at the beginning of 2020.

And I don't know whether you've seen the film Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner,

Where they say to him,

Build it.

They will come.

Well,

He built it.

They came.

I built it.

I got tumbleweeds.

Nobody bought my course.

There was radio silence.

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

And to say I was disappointed would definitely be an understatement.

And then lockdown happened.

So I'm at home.

No job.

And I'm the teacher to my children.

We're going through home learning.

And I'm thinking,

I need to do something because clearly nobody can live on air alone.

And I was thinking,

Well,

What can I do that can help others?

And that's when I had my light bulb moment.

I'd been podcasting for eight months at that point.

And I thought,

Well,

It's easy.

I know how easy it is.

And I know,

Like me beforehand,

How people think it's difficult.

It's easy.

I will just put together a workshop online and I will teach people how easy it is.

So that's what I did.

Having never run a workshop before,

Having never used Zoom,

Like most people at that time,

I created a one hour online interactive podcasting workshop.

And guess what?

I had nearly 40 people sign up to that course and they came.

And it was great.

I loved it.

And that then started to build momentum.

And I would put on more workshops.

So you see,

Yes,

Failure feels awful.

It feels horrible.

It literally feels like the rug has been pulled from under you.

However,

What I've learned is that failure is actually success in disguise.

And I know that I have learned more from those times where I failed than the times where I've succeeded.

So I encourage you to actively fail.

I know that sounds horrible.

However,

Failure shows you opportunities.

Failure helps you to see what is actually possible.

Failure helps you to build your resilience so that that failure isn't off-putting anymore and you wholeheartedly jump into failing because you know that within failure you will learn something.

Tip number four,

Work on your mindset.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't,

You are probably right because whatever you think you will become.

Our minds are more powerful than we realise.

What goes on in our minds either has the power to hold us back or propel us forward.

So I encourage you to be really,

Really,

Really aware of what is going on in your mind.

Those thoughts that just seemingly pop up from nowhere.

You know,

The inner critic that is chatting at you,

Especially when things are not going your way.

That inner voice,

That inner critic.

I mean,

They're only doing their job.

They're neither good nor bad.

They are just trying to protect you,

Trying to stop you from failing,

Getting something wrong,

Falling over,

Making a fool of yourself.

My inner critic,

She is called Vera and she is a lovely old lady.

She just wants what's best for me,

Which is to keep me safe.

The thing is,

Keeping me safe isn't always in my best interests.

And so when Vera starts chatting,

What I do is I listen just to hear what I think is actually going on for me.

And then I give her a cup of tea and a biscuit and I ask her to sit in the corner.

And when she's ready to be helpful,

She can come back.

So it's time to become really clear and listen to what is going on and then realise that that voice that is chatting is actually not you.

It's just thoughts that pop into your head.

Unhelpful thoughts usually.

So I encourage you to pick out the themes,

Pick out the things that are holding you back.

And then with that information and with compassion,

I encourage you to face what is really going on.

What is the fear that is holding you back?

Once you have dealt with that,

You know that you are truly building your resilience muscle.

And finally,

Grow your supportive network.

I will always be the first one to tell you,

You are your biggest cheerleader.

However,

The people you surround yourself with will magnify that.

And that's not to say that you have in your group people who are always going to say yes to you.

You surround yourself with individuals who genuinely want you to be successful.

People who are authentic,

People who want the best for you and will tell you the truth,

Even if the truth might be a little bit difficult to hear.

My daughter,

She is wise beyond her years.

She has grown a wonderful group of friends who are all very different.

There's the funny one,

The mature one,

The say-it-how-it-is one,

The one that's mature beyond her years and some,

The serious one.

And the thing that they all have in common is they all want the best for each other.

When things aren't going quite according to plan,

They will be around each other to encourage everyone that it's going to be okay.

And similarly,

When things are going great,

They celebrate each other.

It's amazing to watch.

So I encourage you to look at the people you surround yourself with.

Are they helping you or are they hindering you?

Are they energising you or are they taking the life out of life?

So you see,

If you want to build your resilience,

And in this day and age,

Resilience is a key strength to have,

You need to practise being knocked down in a safe environment.

And you need to build that environment so that you are quite happy to get back up because it's comfortable.

So step outside your comfort zone,

Take action,

Master your mindset,

Be fearless in failing and surround yourself with the people that want the best for you.

It's time for you to actively build your resilience.