Welcome to this meditation on the courage to disappoint.
As you settle in to today's mindful practice I encourage you to take some slow deep breaths.
We do this practice to ground the body and to bring awareness to ourself.
Get comfortable and allow your body to relax into this moment.
This is a moment to truly honor yourself.
You have been living your life as if other people's comfort is more important than your own truth.
As if their approval is worth more than your authenticity.
You have been contouring yourself into shapes that please others while slowly suffocating the person you actually are.
But what if the most loving thing you could do,
For both yourself and for them,
Is to finally disappoint them?
There is a particular kind of prison that is built from the fear of letting others down.
It has invisible bars made of what will they think and I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Or perhaps it sounds like they're counting on me.
You have been living inside this prison for so long that you have forgotten that the door was never actually locked.
That you have always had the key.
Feel into the ways you have been betraying yourself to keep others comfortable.
The dreams you have not pursued because they would inconvenience your family.
The boundaries you have not set because they were upset people who benefit from your lack of limits.
The truth you have not spoken because it would disrupt the peace that depends on your silence.
You are not responsible for managing others emotions.
You are not required to make yourself smaller so that others can feel big.
You are not obligated to sacrifice your authenticity on the altar of their expectations.
The disappointment they feel when you stop performing the version of yourself they prefer is information about their relationship with you.
Not evidence of your failure as a person.
Notice the voice in your head that says you are selfish for wanting what you want.
That you are cruel for setting boundaries.
That you are ungrateful for no longer accepting what does not serve you.
This voice is not your intuition.
It is the internalized expectations of people who needed you to be convenient rather than real.
The courage to disappoint is the courage to love yourself enough to be disliked.
It is understanding that some people will only accept you if you remain in the they assigned you and that their love is conditional on your compliance.
True love,
The kind worth having,
Can hone your growth,
Your changes,
Your refusal to stay small.
You will disappoint people when you start living authentically.
The friend who loved having someone who never said no.
The family member who enjoyed your willingness to absorb their emotional overflow.
The partner who preferred you uncertain and dependent.
Their disappointment is the price of freedom and it is a price worth paying.
This is not about becoming callous or careless with others feelings.
This is about recognizing that your authentic expression is not an attack on them.
That your growth is not a betrayal of your relationship.
That your happiness is not selfish just because it requires you to make choices they would not make.
Some relationships will not survive your commitment to authenticity.
Some people will decide they prefer the version of you that said yes to everything.
That absorbed their projections.
That made yourself small to make them feel safe.
As you recognize this loss,
Breathe in to the knowing that it is normal that this loss is painful.
Breathe in to the trust that it makes room for connections based on who you actually are,
Rather than who you have been pretending to be.
The courage to disappoint is actually the courage to honor the people in your life to show them your truth rather than a performance.
It is trusting that those who are meant to be in your life can handle your realness and that those who cannot are giving you valuable information about the nature of your connection.
You cannot live an authentic life without disappointing people who have grown attached to your inauthenticity.
The choice is not whether to disappoint them.
It is whether to disappoint them by being yourself or to disappoint yourself by being who they want you to be.
Choose yourself,
Dear friend.
Choose yourself today,
Now,
In this moment.
The people who belong in your life will adapt.
The ones who don't will reveal themselves.
And that,
My friend,
Is a gift,
Even when it hurts.
Trust this knowingness,
The names that have occurred in your mind,
The thoughts and the feelings about specific people.
This is your soul's way of bringing to light how to heal,
Who you need to be and what beautiful changes you're ready to make.
