This is a meditation to practice and cultivate compassion for others experiencing difficulty or suffering.
It's not uncommon to confuse empathetic distress or aversion to suffering with compassion.
Empathy is when we resonate with others' emotions or feel with the other being who is experiencing difficulty.
Empathy is important in connection,
And it's the first part of practicing compassion for them.
However,
It's important to feel with the other without taking on the feeling or experiencing aversion for that suffering.
When we take on the feeling of that other being and confuse it as our own experience,
This leads to empathetic distress.
We may have our own sadness or concern about their suffering,
Which is important to acknowledge and tend to,
But this is different than empathetic distress.
Aversion to the suffering can show up by getting stuck at anger or blame for those causing that suffering.
Maybe how it shouldn't be this way or feeling like we need to fix or get rid of their suffering.
Both empathetic distress and aversion can lead to overwhelm and burnout.
Compassion,
On the other hand,
Is when we meet suffering with love or an open heart.
We truly care for that suffering and want that suffering to end,
But from a place of care,
Not aversion.
Passion doesn't leave to overwhelm or burn out.
Compassion puts us in a better place to actually help where we can,
Still be present in our own lives,
And add goodness to the world instead of more suffering.
So in this practice,
To help connect to compassion rather than empathetic distress and aversion,
We'll first practice a willingness to be with or be touched by the suffering of others.
And then we'll practice meeting that suffering with an open heart of compassion.
So to start the meditation,
Find a comfortable posture that's alert yet relaxed.
You can close down your eyes if that's comfortable.
Otherwise a soft downward gaze works as well.
Noticing where your body connects to the supports under you,
Body on your chair,
The cushion,
Feet,
Your legs on the floor.
And feeling the steadiness of those supports.
And inviting the body to soften,
Relax into those supports.
Letting go of unnecessary tension in the body as best you can.
And bringing your attention to the breath.
Noticing what the in-breath feels like.
Out breath feels like.
Resting your attention here in the breath,
You invite the mind to settle a bit.
When your mind wanders or other experiences grab your attention,
It's not a problem.
It's coming back each time to resting your attention with the breath.
Now we'll shift into the first step of practicing compassion,
Just to allow yourself to be with or be touched by the suffering.
Few moments to bring to mind a person,
Being,
Or group that's experiencing difficulty.
You might imagine the situation that's causing them suffering.
Concern you have about this.
Might be images or thoughts that show up.
Seeing if you can connect to this experience.
Now see if you can identify their suffering or difficulty.
Maybe it's an emotion,
Physical pain,
A met need like safety,
Food,
Shelter,
A loss.
Maybe being harmed by another.
If you're not able to identify it,
That's okay.
Just a simple acknowledgement that pain or suffering is there works too.
As you're bringing awareness to this,
Make a mental note that this is their difficulty,
Their pain,
Their suffering,
Not yours.
Be aware of any aversion that shows up,
Thoughts that it shouldn't be this way,
Getting caught in what needs to happen to fix the difficulty or blaming those who are responsible for it.
See if you can just let those go for now and be with what is happening for this being which is suffering.
You might ask yourself,
Am I willing to be touched by this suffering?
Being with their suffering may bring up feelings of your own,
Sadness,
Grief,
Helplessness,
Unease,
Concern,
Which is normal and okay.
So it's important to recognize this and practice self-compassion as needed.
Empathetic distress and aversion might sneak in too.
It's also okay.
We can bring self-compassion to that as well.
Any of this,
The empathetic distress,
Aversion,
Or other emotions become too strong,
It can be helpful to pause the compassion practice and tend to those with a self-compassion practice or RAIN practice.
You're able to be with the suffering,
You can move into the second step.
Respond with a sense of care to the soul.
Sense of care is like gently rocking a crying baby,
Hugging a loved one who's sad,
Making soup for a friend who is ill.
Seeing if you can bring that same sense of love and care to this suffering.
You might bring attention to your heart space.
Imagining care and compassion for the suffering growing in this space.
Imagine that the space of this open and caring heart is vast and expansive enough to hold any amount of suffering.
You can also use phrases to connect with a sense of compassion and care,
Like,
I see and care about your suffering.
May your suffering be eased.
May you have peace in your heart.
You experience compassion and kindness.
We'll leave some silence here for the next few minutes.
You can continue to practice compassion in whatever way works best for you today.
And as we close the practice,
I'll share this poem by an unknown author called Heartprints.
Whatever our hands touch,
We leave fingerprints on walls,
On furniture,
On doorknobs,
Dishes,
Books.
There's no escape.
We touch,
We leave our identity.
Wherever I go today,
Help me leave heart prints.
Heart prints of compassion,
Understanding and love.
Heart prints of kindness and genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor,
Or a runaway daughter,
Or an anxious mother,
Or perhaps an aged grandfather.
Send me out today to leave heart prints.
And if someone should say,
I felt your touch,
May they also sense the love that is deep within my heart.
As you end this practice,
Let's take a moment.
Notice how the mind and body feel.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes or lift your gaze.
Thank you for joining me for this meditation.
May you all be filled with love and compassion and may that love and compassion ripple out into the world.
