Hello everyone and welcome to today's session.
In this session,
We're going to explore how to change an unconscious mind.
Relationship pattern and my intention is to share tools on how to change it and I will also guide meditation and integrate those practices in our daily life.
So let's get started.
Have you recognized the behavior in yourself that you want to change but somehow keep repeating?
Perhaps you become defensive when someone criticizes you.
Perhaps you find yourself trying to control the situation when you feel insecure.
Or maybe you withdraw whenever a conversation becomes emotionally uncomfortable for you.
You recognize the pattern,
You know it doesn't help,
Yet when the situation arises again,
You react in the same familiar way.
So why is awareness sometimes not enough?
Today I'd like to explore how we can begin changing this pattern through a simple analogy I call growing a seed.
And towards the end I will invite you for a short guided reflection.
So let's go back to the seed analogy.
Imagine planting a seed in your garden.
You cannot force it to grow simply by looking at it or wishing for it to somehow become a tree in a day.
You need to create the right conditions.
It needs nourishing soil,
Water,
Sunlight and space to grow.
Sometimes or something similar happens when we want to change an old relationship.
Recognizing the pattern is the beginning,
But transformation requires us to begin nourishing a different way of thinking,
Feeling and behaving.
That's the most important part.
So let's take a simple example.
Meet Andrew.
Whenever his partner disagrees with him,
He becomes very defensive.
Even a small comment can feel like a criticism to him.
His partner might say,
I felt hurt when you interrupted me earlier.
And Andrew immediately responds,
Well,
You interrupted me too,
Right?
So it's more like an abrupt behavior.
Instead of listening,
Pausing,
He starts to defend himself.
Later,
He regrets the argument.
He genuinely wants to become a better listener,
But The next time he feels criticized,
The same reaction happens or appears.
So how can Andrew begin to change this?
Let's go back to our seats.
Let's return to the seats.
First,
The soil represents our beliefs.
Andrew might carry a belief that says,
If someone criticizes me,
It means I'm not enough or I'm not capable.
Whatever that belief system might be inside Andrew.
To create healthier soil,
We can begin questioning that belief and cultivating a new understanding.
Someone expressing hurt doesn't necessarily mean I'm a bad person.
The other person is just expressing his or her feelings.
We don't need to take a personal story on us and start validating those belief systems.
The other person is just expressing their feelings.
The second part we need to do is.
.
.
After soil we need watering right so the water represents our thoughts and feelings so when Andrew becomes or feels criticized he can notice the thoughts that arises instead of automatically believing it He can acknowledge this discomfort without allowing it to be his direct behavior.
You can say in an easy way,
His behavior is not influenced directly by his thoughts.
After the soil and the water,
We need the third element,
Which is the sunlight,
Which represents our actions.
And sometimes our conscious non-actions also play a role.
What do I mean by that?
Instead of immediately defending himself,
Andrew can pause,
Pause,
Pause,
Pause,
And listen,
And perhaps say,
I didn't realize that hurt you,
Can you tell me more?
Instead of becoming defensive,
Engaging the other person.
So that small action nourishes a new way of relationship,
A new way of relating.
And finally,
Space represents surrender.
To grow a healthy relationship,
We need to surrender to these moments,
Right?
Instead of reacting and withdrawing,
We need to probably come closer through the space of surrender.
Andrew doesn't need to become perfectly patient overnight,
Right?
So he can practice,
He can make mistakes,
He can learn,
Allow change to unfold gradually.
So just like a seed,
A new pattern needs some time and consistent care.
So this is what I meant by seed analogy.
I hope it made sense to you.
But again these are just probably some teachings and philosophies what is more important is if we can practice in our daily lives and this is what I'm going to do I'm going to guide you a small guided reflection so If it feels okay for you,
Gently close your eyes.
Let's take a deep inhale to the nose Exhale to the mouth.
Let's do it one more time.
Inhale through the nose.
Exhale to the mouth.
And ask yourself.
What is that one relationship pattern you would like to change?
Perhaps becoming defensive.
Perhaps seeking reassurance.
Withdrawing.
Or struggling to express your needs.
And now gently ask yourself.
What belief?
Might be keeping this patent alive.
And what new belief or understanding would I like to begin nourishing instead?
What is one small action?
I can practice the next time this pattern appears.
What is one conscious non-action.
I can practice the next time this pattern appears.
There's no need to change everything today.
Simply recognize.
Recognize the seed you like to nourish.
Let's take a deep inhale again exit let go And when you are ready,
Gently begin to open your eyes.
As we finish this session,
Remember that changing old pattern is not about fighting who we are.
It's about becoming conscious of what we want to continue to nourish.
Our thoughts,
Beliefs,
Feelings,
And action influences how we relate to others.
And sometimes the most meaningful transformation begins with one small conscious choice.
Just as a seed grows through consistent care.
New ways of relating developed through practice.
I really want to appreciate the time.
Thank you for taking this time to reflect with me.
Until then,
Thank you.
