Hello,
And welcome to this meditation for body-focused repetitive behaviors,
Or BFRBs,
Such as hair pulling,
Skin picking,
Nail biting,
Cheek biting,
And others.
This meditation will provide an accessible grounding exercise as well as help you start to shift your relationship with your BFRB or other unwanted habit,
Which is just as powerful as focusing on changing the behavior itself.
I also want to note that this meditation or practice can be used with any unwanted behavior or pattern.
So it's not just limited to BFRBs.
Okay,
Let's get started.
To begin,
I invite you to take a deep breath in.
And let it out.
Take another deep breath in.
And exhale.
Relax your shoulders and your jaw.
Let your tongue fall from the roof of your mouth.
Feel the support of the chair or the ground beneath you.
Take a moment to send some love and gratitude to your back and neck that have been holding you upright all day.
And feel your feet resting on the ground.
We'll take a few more breaths just to ground ourselves.
A deep cleansing breath in.
And let it out.
Another deep breath in.
And exhale.
And as you exhale,
Notice if it would be helpful to release a sigh or any other sound that wants to be released.
We let go of energy in different ways,
And for some people,
Sighing on the exhale or letting some other sound be made can be helpful.
Last few breaths.
Deep breath in.
And let it out.
Another deep breath in.
And sie it out.
Now you can close your eyes if that feels comfortable and if it's safe to do so.
And I invite you to notice what is.
Meditation is about noticing what is already present.
Sometimes we can get overly focused on making it a relaxing practice.
And it can be a relaxing practice.
But the main goal is to notice what is already present.
So as you breathe naturally,
Where do you feel your breath most clearly?
Do you feel it at the tip of your nose?
Or maybe just behind your nose,
Closer to your throat.
Or is it in the rise and fall of your chest as you inhale and exhale?
Wherever you notice it,
Just rest your attention there for a moment.
And if your mind wanders,
Know that that's totally fine.
That's what minds do.
And just gently acknowledge the thought and bring your attention back to your breath.
So we're just gonna breathe naturally for a bit.
To really take in the experience.
What does it feel like?
To breathe.
And can you catch the small space that exists between your inhale and your exhale?
And the small space that exists between your exhale and your inhale.
And again,
If your mind wanders.
Gently acknowledge it and bring your attention back to your breath.
Now let's practice keeping an open mind and setting aside judgment.
Bring to mind something that typically frustrates you.
For this practice,
I want to keep it safe,
So let's stick with something that's mild to moderately frustrating.
Save anything that's highly distressing for working with a trained therapist or after you've had more practice using this exercise.
Today,
We're going to keep it on the light side so that this practice can really support you while you're getting to know it.
So bring to mind something that's mild to moderately frustrating.
Maybe it's your BFRB.
Or a situation,
Past experience,
Maybe a thought.
If you can't think of anything mild to moderately frustrating,
That's okay.
Just keep your attention on your breath as you wait to see if anything comes to mind.
Now that you have your situation,
You might notice an urge to push it away or resist it.
And that's totally normal.
But see if instead you can shift into curiosity and openness.
With an open mind,
Notice what thoughts and emotions come up when you think of this situation.
Maybe you notice judgment,
And you can say,
Oh,
Judgment is here.
Or maybe there's an anxious thought.
You can identify it and label it as an anxious thought.
Or maybe it's a sensation,
Such as,
I feel a pit in my stomach.
Whatever you notice is fine,
But see if you can notice it from an observational energy rather than getting wrapped up in the story and thoughts about it.
And if you do notice the story and thoughts about it arising,
That's totally fine.
And see if you can take a step back into that observational energy.
See if you can set down the story and the thoughts and be with the experience of it.
That which notices does not judge.
It's just an open awareness.
So if you notice judgment,
That's fine.
And it's one more thing to practice noticing.
Now bring your attention to the physical sensations that come up when you think of this situation.
What does it feel like to have this thought or memory?
You'll likely notice some kind of contraction or tightness in your body.
And once you find it,
See if you can be with it for a moment.
We won't be here for long.
If you don't notice anything,
Any sensations,
Check your throat,
Chest,
Or belly,
Which is where you can often find your more intense emotions.
Or alternatively,
If the sensation in your midline feels too intense,
Shift your attention to see what's present in your face,
Hands,
Or feet.
And if you still can't find anything,
That's totally okay.
Just rest your attention on your breath while you wait to see if anything becomes more apparent during this exercise.
And if you find at any time during this exercise the sensation feels too strong or uncomfortable,
Feel free to shift your attention back to your breath instead.
Now with your attention on this tightness or contraction or discomfort,
Notice what it feels like.
Does it have a size or a shape?
Does the sensation have a color or a texture?
If it doesn't,
That's okay.
Simply asking yourself these questions is a way to get to know it better and to open yourself up to it.
There's no right or wrong answer,
And there might not be an answer at all.
You might also find that you need to do this practice several times before an answer becomes more clear.
Now with this openness and curiosity around this energy,
See if you can say to it,
I see you.
And notice what happens.
When you say to the energy,
I see you,
Does anything change or shift?
There's no right or wrong answer,
We're just noticing.
Next,
If you can say it with sincerity.
Let this energy know you're welcome here.
Remember,
There's no forcing,
So if you can't extend this welcome,
Just stay with ICU.
And notice what's present.
Notice how this contraction feels when you say,
I see you.
You're welcome here.
And lastly,
If you can say it with sincerity and no forcing,
Let this energy know,
Thank you for trying to help me.
These sensations are simply messages that want to be listened to.
And again,
If this doesn't resonate with you,
Stick with,
I see you.
Notice what's present as you sit with this energy.
And say,
I see you.
You're welcome here.
Thank you for trying to help me.
How does the energy feel and does it change at all when you interact with it differently?
When you choose to welcome it rather than push it away.
Do you notice any shift in the energy?
Or any change.
And the quality of it.
And remember,
We're not forcing change.
We're just staying with the experience and witnessing any changes that may be unfolding on their own.
We'll spend just another moment with the sensation that's present now.
If you can,
Extending ICU,
And possibly,
You're welcome here.
Thank you for trying to help me.
If you feel it with sincerity.
And if you notice that your mind has wandered,
That's totally fine.
Just acknowledge the thought.
And bring your attention back to this energy or your breath.
Now let's start to bring your attention back to the room that you're in.
Notice how your arms and legs feel.
Give your hands and fingers and maybe your toes a little movement to begin to wake them up.
Taking a deep cleansing breath.
And exhale,
Maybe with a sigh.
Another deep cleansing breath in.
And exhale.
And go ahead and let your eyes open.
Bringing yourself fully present back into this room with your surroundings.
Thank you for taking this time to pause and get to know yourself better.
I hope you find that practicing this open awareness serves you and those around you.
