Somatic Shadow Integration: Embracing Your Forbidden Self

A revolutionary approach to shadow work that moves beyond analysis into embodied integration. Learn to locate, feel, and embrace the suppressed aspects of your humanity through somatic awareness.
This practice helps you reclaim parts of yourself that were shamed or rejected, leading to greater authenticity and self-acceptance.

Transcript

So hi everyone and thank you very much for joining me.

So today we are going to explore something that might feel both terrifying and liberating.

We will talk about the parts of ourselves that we have learned to hide,

Deny or feel ashamed of simply for being human.

Now let me ask you this.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking a thought and immediately felt guilty about it?

Maybe a flash of anger towards someone you love?

A sexual desire that felt inappropriate?

A moment of pure selfishness where you just wanted what you wanted without considering anyone else?

Have you ever felt a surge of jealousy,

Greed or even hatred and quickly pushed it down?

Maybe telling yourself that good people don't feel these things?

If so,

You've experienced what I call your forbidden self.

The collection of perfectly natural human experiences that we've been taught are wrong,

Bad or unacceptable.

Now here's what I want you to understand.

There's nothing wrong with you for having these feelings,

Thoughts or desires.

You're human and being human means experiencing the full spectrum of what it means to be alive.

Not just the pretty,

Polite and socially acceptable parts but all of it.

Being aware of something and acting it out are two completely different things.

Now,

In my work as a holistic therapist,

I see how much suffering comes from what we call humanity shame.

The deep belief that certain parts of our natural human experience are fundamentally wrong.

We learn this so early that we don't even realise we're doing it.

And we split ourselves into acceptable me and forbidden me.

And then spend our lives trying to keep the forbidden parts locked away.

Now those forbidden parts in your shadow,

They're not your darkness,

They're your completeness.

They're raw,

Unedited,

Authentic human experience that's been shamed into hiding.

Your anger might be your healthy boundaries.

Your selfish desires might be your authentic needs.

And your sexual energy might be your life force wanting to flow.

So today we're going to practice something radical.

Just welcoming home every part of your humanity without judgement,

Without shame,

Without trying to fix or improve anything.

We're going to learn the difference between expressing something destructively and acknowledging something with compassion.

Now this is not about becoming someone who acts on their impulses.

But simply becoming someone who doesn't have to hide from their own humanity.

Find a position where you feel safe to be completely honest about who you are.

Not who you think you should be,

Not who you have convinced yourself that you are.

But who you actually are and nobody is watching and nobody is judging.

Now let's begin with three deep breaths that give you permission to be authentically and beautifully human.

Breathing in,

The permission to feel everything you feel.

Breathing out,

The pressure to be perfect.

Breathing in,

Acceptance for your complete humanity.

Breathing out,

The exhaustion of performing goodness.

Breathing in,

Your right to exist as you are.

Breathing out,

Into this moment where all of you is welcome.

Place one hand on your heart,

One hand on your belly.

Feel your heartbeat,

Feel your breath and your body's natural rhythms.

This body that houses you experiences hunger,

Desire,

Anger,

Fear,

Pleasure,

Pain.

The full range of human experience.

And every single bit of it is natural,

Normal and fundamentally innocent.

Now at this stage,

If you haven't done so already,

You might want to gently close your eyes.

Just let my words guide you.

Now first let's explore how this inner split into acceptable and forbidden began.

Because this understanding helps us approach our hidden parts with compassion rather than judgment.

Think back to your childhood now.

What messages did you receive about which emotions,

Which desires or which behaviors were okay and which were not?

Maybe you learnt that anger was dangerous.

That good children don't get mad.

Expressing frustration leads to punishment or withdrawal of love.

So you pushed all your natural anger underground.

Maybe you learnt that sexual energy or curiosity was shameful.

And that your body's natural responses were dirty or inappropriate.

So you disconnected from your innate life force.

Maybe you learnt wanting things for yourself was selfish.

Putting your own needs first made you bad or greedy.

So you buried your authentic desires.

Maybe you learnt that certain emotions were too much.

That sadness was weakness,

Fear was pathetic and joy was too loud.

So you learnt to feel only what was acceptable.

Now here's the crucial thing to understand.

As a child,

You didn't stop having these feelings or desires.

You just learnt to hide them.

And you created what we call the forbidden self or the shadow self.

A part of you that holds all the aspects of your humanity that didn't receive love and acceptance.

And here's what's beautiful.

The little person that learnt to hide was not bad or wrong.

They were just trying to survive,

To maintain connection and to be loved.

The problem was never your humanity.

The problem was a world that couldn't hold space for the fullness of who you are.

Now let's explore where these forbidden aspects of yourself actually live in your body.

Because our bodies hold the truth of what we have learnt to suppress.

Now start by bringing your awareness to your jaw.

All my attention,

All my awareness is now with my jaw.

I can maybe gently open and close my mouth.

Move your jaw from side to side.

Notice,

Is there a tension there?

A tightness?

Your jaw often holds all the words you wanted to say,

But you didn't.

The nose that got swallowed,

The desires that were not voiced,

The anger that was pushed down,

It's all there.

What wants to be said that you've never allowed yourself to say?

Not to anyone else right now,

But just to yourself.

What words live locked into your jaw?

In your mind or out loud,

If there is a word with this feeling,

You can voice it now safely.

Take your attention to your throat.

Notice any constriction or holding.

Your throat may be guarding your authentic voice.

The parts of your truth that felt too dangerous to speak.

Now,

Bring your awareness to your chest.

Take a deep breath and notice.

Does your chest want to expand or does it feel protected?

Sometimes we armor our hearts against our own tender feelings.

Our own vulnerable desires or our raw human longings.

Place both your hands on your belly.

Breathe into this space and notice what you feel.

Your belly often holds suppressed emotions.

The anger that was deemed unacceptable.

The sexual energy that was shamed.

The pure life force that was told to be smaller.

Feeling my shadow self,

My forbidden self now,

In my stomach.

Now bring your awareness to your pelvis,

To your hips.

Feeling what you feel,

Pelvis,

Hips.

Now feel your whole body.

Notice that these so-called forbidden aspects are not foreign invaders.

They are part of your natural human energy system.

They are not problems to be solved.

They are aspects of your aliveness that have been waiting for permission to exist.

Now we are going to do something.

We are going to consciously welcome these forbidden aspects of yourself home with love and acceptance.

Imagine all the parts of yourself that you've learned to hide or feel ashamed of can now take form in your inner awareness.

The sensations,

The feelings that I had can now take form.

You might see them as younger versions of yourself.

Colors,

A presence or just a feeling.

Trust whatever emerges for you.

Now whatever is showing up for you in this moment,

There might be your angry self.

The part that knows when boundaries are being crossed and something is not fair.

When you are being taken advantage of.

This is your healthy protective fire that's been told it's bad to exist.

There might be your sexual self.

The part that feels pleasure,

Desire,

Attraction.

This is your natural life force energy that's been shamed into hiding.

There might be your selfish self.

The part of you that knows what you want,

That has preferences and that sometimes wants to put your needs first.

This is just healthy self-care that's been told it's wrong to exist.

Then there might be your emotional self.

The part that feels deeply in hiding.

This is not weakness.

This is just your tender humanity that's been told to be stronger.

Anything that's showing up for you today,

Approach these aspects of yourself with the same love that you'd offer to a frightened child who's been hiding in the shadows.

They haven't done anything wrong.

They've just been waiting for someone to say,

You belong here too.

Now,

Let's speak to these forbidden thoughts,

Either silently or out loud.

I see you.

I understand why you've been hiding.

You are not bad or wrong.

You're simply human.

I see you.

I understand why you've been hiding.

You are not bad or wrong.

You're simply human.

You are part of me.

You are part of me.

And I accept you completely.

You are part of me.

And I accept you completely.

You are part of me.

Now notice how your body feels as you offer this acceptance to parts of yourself you may have been rejecting.

Many people experience a sense of relief,

Coming home,

Finally being able to breathe fully.

Now,

Let's help your nervous system integrate this expanded sense of what it means to be you.

This is not about acting on every impulse.

It is about having a conscious relationship with all aspects of humanity.

Place both your hands on your heart and imagine breathing directly into that space.

With each breath,

You're creating more room in your heart for fullness of who you are.

Breathe in acceptance for your anger,

Desire,

Selfishness and intensity.

Breathe out the fear of being rejected for your authentic self.

Breathe in love for your complexity,

Your contradictions.

Breathe out the exhaustion of trying to be only light and love.

Breathe in the full humanity wild,

Tame,

Acceptable,

Forbidden,

All of it.

And breathe out into this moment where you get to completely be yourself.

Feel yourself as an integrated human being.

You're not always perfect.

You're not always socially appropriate.

But you're real and authentic.

You contain multitudes and that's not a problem to be solved.

That's just the beauty of being human.

From this place of self-acceptance,

Let's explore how life feels when you live as a whole person.

When you have a conscious relationship with all aspects of yourself instead of trying to eliminate the unacceptable ones.

Imagine moving through your day tomorrow with this new relationship with your shadow,

Forbidden self.

You still make conscious choices about how you express yourself but you're just not fighting against your own nature or suppressing it.

When you feel fear or anger instead of immediately suppressing it pause and ask what is this anger trying to protect?

What boundary might need attention?

You don't have to act aggressively but you don't have to pretend that you're not angry either.

When you feel selfish desires instead of immediately sacrificing them pause and ask what do I actually need right now?

How can I take care of myself so I can show up more fully?

You don't have to be cruel to others but you don't have to abandon yourself either.

When you feel sexual energy or desire instead of immediately shaming it pause and ask what is this energy trying to express?

How can I honour my life force?

This is what emotional maturity actually looks like not the absence of negative feelings but a conscious relationship with the full spectrum of being human.

One of the most beautiful aspects of this work is that when you stop rejecting parts of yourself you also stop unconsciously rejecting those same parts in others.

When you can accept your own anger you're less triggered by other people's anger.

When you can accept your own sexuality you're less judgemental about others' expression.

When you can accept your own needs you're less threatened by others' selfishness.

You become someone who can hold space for the full humanity of others because you've learned to hold space for your own.

You break the cycle of shame that gets passed down through families and cultures.

Now set an intention for how you want to relate to your shadow self going forward.

Maybe you can say I will pause and listen when difficult emotions arise instead of immediately pushing them away.

I will practice curiosity about my desires and impulses instead of automatic judgment.

I will remember that having human feelings doesn't make me bad,

It makes me real.

As we prepare to complete this journey take a moment to appreciate the courage it takes to reclaim your forbidden self.

In a world that often demands performance of goodness over authentic humanity choosing wholeness is an act of self-love.

Place both your hands on your heart and offer yourself this appreciation.

Thank you for being willing to meet all of me with love.

Thank you for choosing authenticity over acceptability.

Thank you for remembering that my humanity is not a problem to be solved.

And as we breathe now feel the words settling into your cells your nervous system and to your very being.

This appreciation isn't just for the good parts of you it's for your complete,

Complex and beautifully human self.

Now let's begin to sense your body in this space.

Wiggle your fingers and your toes.

Feel yourself returning to ordinary awareness but carrying this new relationship with your forbidden self with your shadow self.

Accepted,

Integrated and available for authentic living.

When you're ready gently open your eyes if they've been closed and return to this moment knowing that you're worthy of love exactly as you are.

Not as you think you should be but as you actually are.

The goal is not to become a better person by eliminating the bad parts.

The goal is to become a real person by integrating all your parts.

You're not broken for being human.

You're not wrong for having feelings.

You're not bad for experiencing the full spectrum of what it means to be alive.

You're whole,

Complex and human and that's more than enough.

Thank you for honouring the courage it takes to be un.

.

.

To be beautifully human.

Thank you and Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you for this beautiful, somatic practice. I have no words to describe the spectrum of feelings I went through, but I can say that the feelings I settled with at the end, were complete Peace and Acceptance. ❤️🙏❤️