Permission To Not Be Okay: Self-Compassion Practice

Compassionate meditation offering permission to struggle without judgment and teaching gentle self-care for difficult times. This somatic healing practice helps you develop self-compassion and release pressure to be positive all the time.
Led by holistic therapist Abi Beri, this trauma-informed approach honors your human experience and teaches practical self-compassion skills for navigating life's challenges.
Perfect for anyone struggling with difficult emotions, self-criticism, or feeling pressure to be okay when they're not.

Transcript

So hi everyone.

Thank you for joining me.

And if you are listening to this right now,

There is a chance that you might be going through either a difficult time or maybe you're feeling the pressure to be okay when you're just not.

So today let's explore something together which might feel a bit misaligned in our good vibes culture.

Let's explore the permission to not be okay.

The permission to struggle.

The permission to have hard days without needing to fix them or apologize for them.

Now you don't have to be positive all the time.

You don't have to have it all figured out.

And you don't have to be grateful for everything.

You don't have to turn your pain into a lesson before you've fully understood and felt it.

Now sometimes the most healing thing we can do is stop trying to be okay.

Stop trying to not feel what I'm feeling and offer ourselves compassion and space for exactly where we are.

Sometimes it's okay to not be okay.

Now struggle,

Challenges are and will always be parts of being human.

Now this can include,

In any shape or form sadness,

Fear,

Pain,

Anger confusion,

Disappointment,

Grief and all the other feelings that we often label as negative.

Just be open to this.

What if these feelings are not problems to be solved?

What if they are just part of human experience?

Just as clouds pass through the sky right now wherever you are in your emotional landscape you have permission to be there.

You don't need to be anywhere else and you don't need to feel differently.

If you are sad,

You can be sad.

If you are angry,

You can be angry.

If you are scared,

You can be scared.

And if you are confused,

You can be confused.

If you feel lost,

You can feel lost.

And if you are grieving,

You can grieve.

Now none of these feelings make you weak or broken or wrong.

They just make you human.

Taking a deep breath now breathing out any resistance finding a comfortable position and only if it feels safe for you softening your gaze and closing your eyes.

Now place one or both hands on your heart or even somewhere else on your body that feels comforting.

This is just a gesture of kindness towards yourself.

Now let's take a few natural breaths.

You don't have to breathe in any special way.

Just natural breaths.

Notice the breath that's already happening.

And as you are listening to my words and breathing just imagine or receive that you are offering yourself the same kindness that you would offer to a friend who was struggling.

What would you say to them?

How would your voice sound?

What kind of presence would you offer?

Just be open to offer that same energy today to yourself.

Now wherever we are in this moment whatever happened without trying to fix or change anything gently acknowledge what's been difficult for you lately.

Maybe it's a relationship that's challenging maybe work feels overwhelming maybe there are health concerns for myself or for someone that I love financial stress loneliness isolation grief or just the general heaviness of life sometimes.

We don't need to analyze these difficulties or go into why they happened or find any solutions.

I am just acknowledging them.

The same way I acknowledge it's raining outside I don't try and stop the rain I probably can't even if I try but I also recognize that it's there.

Now you can either receive my words or say this to yourself silently or out loud.

This is difficult right now it only makes sense that I am struggling with this.

This is difficult right now it only makes sense that I am struggling with this.

This is difficult right now.

It only makes sense that I am struggling with this.

Now whatever is coming up for you right now in terms of what you feel in your body or thoughts or sensations just letting that all be without labeling anything.

And sometimes we don't realize how much we've been carrying until we pause and we really feel it.

Take a moment now to notice what you've been holding on to.

Maybe it's your own worries and fears maybe it's other people's expectations the pressure to be strong the weight of responsibilities the emotions that I haven't had time to process for days,

Weeks,

Months,

Even years.

And the exhaustion of trying to appear okay when I'm not.

I want you to feel the weight of all this not to overwhelm yourself but to acknowledge how hard you've been working and how much you've been managing and how much strength does it take just to keep going on some days.

You deserve compassion for carrying so much.

You deserve compassion for doing your best.

Now imagine that you could speak to yourself now in a way that a friend would speak to you or a parent would speak to a child who was hurting.

Now any words that I say you can change them and you can only receive the parts which resonate with you not forcing yourself to say or receive anything.

So in that situation I might say something like this is really hard and it's okay that you're struggling you don't have to have it all figured out right now you are doing the best you can with what you have it's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes you don't have to be strong every minute of every day you're allowed to need help and support and your feelings are valid whatever they are.

Choose words that feel authentic to you the intention is to be kind to yourself even if the words don't come.

Now the pressure to stay positive or to look at the bright side or to find the silver lining but sometimes this pressure can make us feel worse and we feel like we are failing if we can't maintain a positive attitude.

I want you to know today that in this moment you have permission to release that pressure you don't have to find the lesson in your pain right now you don't have to be grateful for your difficult experiences and you don't have to believe that everything happens for a reason you don't have to turn your struggles into wisdom and you don't have to use this experience to find strength within you.

Sometimes pain is just pain loss is just loss difficulty is just difficulty and that's perfectly okay you can feel whatever you need to feel without the need to even spiritualize it or make it something meaningful pain is just pain and that's okay just letting your body receive my words and feeling,

Sensing and experiencing what shows up not being okay sometimes is a sign of wisdom and not weakness it means you are paying attention to your life it means you care about things that matter and it means you are not numbing yourself to the realities of being human it means your heart is open enough to feel both sorrow and joy and people who never struggle who always seem happy they are not more evolved they are often just more disconnected so your sensitivity to your emotions is part of what makes you human and real this is me giving myself permission to not be okay whatever you are feeling right now sadness,

Fear,

Anger,

Numbness,

Overwhelm try just breathing with it not against it I don't want these feelings to go away I want them to come up so I can see them now,

Your breath can be that companion,

That presence that can be with you in any difficulty your breath is that companionship that you can have regardless of what you are experiencing if the feelings are too big right now that's okay too sometimes they are too big for us to handle and I can feel them bit by bit breath by breath when I am ready now,

Healing doesn't mean returning to how things were before it doesn't mean permanently becoming positive and it absolutely doesn't mean having no more difficult days healing simply means creating space for all of your human experience it means developing a kind relationship with yourself that doesn't depend upon you being okay all the time and healing starts to happen when you stop fighting yourself and start offering yourself compassion when you stop trying to feel different and start accepting what is and this in no way means that you will stay stuck in painful places forever it means that you stop demanding that you feel better before you are ready before you have processed that experience I can still be at peace with my pain in my body,

In my mind now we remember you are worthy of compassion simply because you are human you are loved for who you are and not for how well you handle difficulties now as we get ready to close this practice take a moment now to feel whatever you are feeling right now without needing to change it if you feel sad let yourself be sad if you feel tired let yourself be tired if you feel scared let yourself be scared if you feel nothing at all that's okay too having difficult days doesn't mean you are doing something wrong it means you are paying attention and you are feeling your way through a complex human experience you don't have to be okay to be enough you are enough exactly as you are right now in this moment now whenever you are ready you can gently open your eyes and carry this permission that you brought with you the permission to be human the permission to struggle the permission to not have all the answers and the permission to care for yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a loved one I don't have to be okay to be worthy of love and care I give myself permission to feel whatever I feel and ask for support when I need it I am enough exactly as I am and on that note thank you very much for joining me today and giving yourself the permission to not be okay to be human thank you very much and namaste

Reviews

Need to come back to this one often🙌 Thank you!❤️ Very helpful🙌