Healing Shame: Integrate Your Whole Story

Transform shame through integration rather than rejection. This somatic healing meditation guides you to welcome home the parts of yourself you've been fighting, creating wholeness instead of inner war.

Learn why hiding shameful parts creates exhaustion and how embracing your complete story—including difficult chapters—leads to authentic self-acceptance and peace.

Transcript

So welcome everyone and thank you for joining me.

So today we'll explore something that takes tremendous courage to face,

Which is the parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of,

The actions we took at some point in our journey that we wish we could erase,

The decisions we made that we are not proud of.

How we all have them,

Those moments where we think I can't believe I did that,

That wasn't really me or I hope no one ever finds out about this part of my past.

Now maybe this was something you said in anger,

A choice or a life decision that you made at some point,

Maybe you hurt someone,

Maybe a period of your life where you acted in ways that you're not proud of today.

Now what I want to explore today is how our shame and rejection of these parts creates an inner war,

A split within ourselves that will always keep us from being whole.

When we push away the parts of our story that we are not proud of,

We are essentially keeping those parts of us away from ourselves.

And this inner separation creates tension,

Resistance,

Disharmony,

Even physical symptoms in some cases.

Now when we are ashamed of our past actions,

We may often do several things,

We deny those parts,

That wasn't really me,

I would never do something like that,

Or we hide those parts,

That we carefully curate what others see and often terrified that someone might discover those shameful parts of me and my story.

We often also fight against those parts,

We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to prove that we are not that person anymore,

Trying to be the opposite of what we were.

But here's what happens when we reject parts of ourselves,

We create an internal split and instead of one integrated person moving through life,

We become fragmented,

Constantly fighting against our own experience and this inner war is exhausting.

It takes tremendous energy to keep pushing parts of yourself away and until we can fully acknowledge,

Honour and accept all our parts,

Including the ones we are not proud of,

We'll remain in this state of inner conflict.

Now what if I told you,

Those parts of your story that you're most ashamed of are not separate from who you are,

But integral parts of your journey.

What if those actions,

Decisions and those moments you wish you could erase,

Were the most essential chapters in your story of growth and awakening?

Now this doesn't mean we celebrate harmful actions or dismiss the impact of our mistakes,

It means we recognize that those actions were taken by someone doing the best they knew how at the time.

Those actions were taken by someone doing the best they knew how at the time and they acted with the consciousness that was available to them.

Now the consciousness,

The awareness that you have now may be different from the consciousness you had even yesterday.

The person who made those choices was you,

But you at a different stage of your journey,

With different awareness,

Different tools,

Different way of looking at life and fighting against that person is like fighting against your own child,

Self,

For not knowing what you know now.

Now before we go deeper,

Let's distinguish between guilt and shame.

Now guilt says I did something bad,

Which is about actions,

And shame says I am bad,

Which is about identity.

Guilt can be healthy,

It helps us recognize when we have acted outside our values and it can motivate us to make changes,

To make amends.

But shame is different.

Shame makes us want to hide,

To disappear,

To reject parts of ourselves entirely.

So as we step into the practice now,

We'll work on transforming shame into integration self-rejection into self-acceptance.

Now,

Find a comfortable position,

The most comfortable position for you and whenever you feel ready you can soften your gaze,

Gently then close your eyes.

Now,

As you sit with the breath and you're aware of your surroundings,

Of your body,

Begin by creating a sense of safety and compassion around yourself.

In this moment,

I am safe,

I am present,

And everything is exactly the way it should be.

All my thoughts are welcome,

I'm only witnessing them,

Any tightness,

Resistance in my body is also welcome,

I'm only witnessing it.

So today,

We are going to approach parts of yourself that you may have been unconsciously rejecting.

Now,

Let's begin by feeling our own loving presence.

You can place both your hands on your heart and as you breathe into your heart now,

Feel your own loving presence.

You're about to do sacred work,

The work of bringing all parts of yourself home.

I'm tuned into my own loving presence and my intention today is to bring all parts of myself home.

Now,

Gently bring to mind a part of your past that you feel shame about.

Maybe it's an action that you took,

A decision that you made,

Or a period of your life you wish you could erase.

Whatever comes up as you listen to my words is exactly what you need to see.

Notice what happens in your body when you think about this.

Does your body contract?

Do you feel the urge to push it away?

Or do you feel that familiar voice saying,

This really wasn't me?

I want you to watch this in your body.

As I think about this part of me that I'm ashamed about,

What does my body do?

Feeling the tension,

The resistance,

The warmth,

The cold,

The tightness,

The tingling,

Whatever else may be coming up for you.

Now,

Instead of pushing it away today,

Simply acknowledge this is a part of my story.

This is a part of my journey.

This happened and it was me who did this.

This is a part of my story.

This is a part of my journey.

This happened and it was me who did this.

Now,

This acknowledgement isn't about approval,

But it's just about stopping the denial,

The rejection and the shame.

Now,

Wherever you are in your journey,

Gently take yourself back to the time when this action took place.

What was happening in your life then?

What was your emotional state?

What was your level of consciousness and awareness at the time?

At this stage,

You may even see yourself from that time.

So,

If this was your level of consciousness at that time,

If this was around a particular age,

I can see myself from that age in my mind's eye.

And if you're not a visual person,

Whichever way this is unfolding for you,

Trust.

Can I understand the person I was back then with compassion?

What was I struggling with?

What was I afraid of?

What did this person need that they were not getting?

This is not about making excuses.

It's about seeing your past self with understanding rather than judgment.

Now,

Whoever is appearing in front of you or in your mind,

Let's speak to this old part of us that we may have been rejecting.

You were doing your best.

I see your pain.

I see your struggle.

I'm imagining this ashamed part of myself as a person in front of me.

And they may look like me at any age.

Or maybe for you,

It's just an energy or a feeling in your body.

Notice and know that this part has been pushed away,

Rejected and has been carrying the burden of your shame alone.

Notice how your body responds now to this inquiry.

Instead of continuing to reject this part,

What if I welcome them home?

If your hand is not on your heart,

You can place your hand on your heart and say these healing statements.

You belong here.

You are part of my story.

You're part of who I am.

And I'm not going to push you away anymore.

You belong here.

You are part of my story.

You're part of who I am.

And I'm not going to push you away anymore.

Now feel what it's like to stop fighting against this part of yourself.

Notice the relief in your body of ending this inner conflict.

Recognize the person that you are today is because of that experience.

Your current wisdom,

Compassion and consciousness have been shaped by walking through this difficult chapter.

Ask yourself this now.

What did I learn from this experience?

How did it contribute to who I am today?

What gifts have emerged from this difficult chapter?

Maybe you learned compassion for others who struggle.

Maybe you developed humility.

Maybe this situation put you on a spiritual path.

Maybe you gained wisdom.

Maybe you discovered an inner strength you didn't even know that you had.

And feel the relief of these statements landing into your body.

Honor this growth without requiring the painful experience to have been worth it.

Simply recognizing the learning that emerged.

Now in this state,

Feel into the difference between I am ashamed of that part of my story.

That part of my story taught me something important.

Notice how the first creates separation and contraction and the second creates integration and expansion.

Your past actions don't define you.

They are threads in the larger story of your growth and awakening.

Now to end this inner war,

Placing both your hands on your heart again,

And feel all parts of yourself.

The parts of yourself that you're proud of and the parts of yourself you may be ashamed of.

Just gathering them together into your heart space.

Feel the relief of no longer having to make a decision.

Maintain your inner separation and feel the energy that becomes available when you stop fighting against yourself.

Now here is a new belief that we can drop into the body today.

I am one person with one story with all its chapters.

The beautiful ones and the difficult ones.

I accept my whole journey.

I am perfect,

Whole and complete.

And as you breathe now,

Feel that integration and feel that energy that you may have been rejecting coming back to you.

Coming back to you.

Coming back to you.

Now from this place of self-acceptance,

We also learn to extend compassion to others who are struggling with their own shame and self-rejection.

I recognize today that everyone has parts of their story they are not proud of.

Everyone has moments they wish they could handle differently.

And your willingness to embrace your own humanity helps create space for others to do the same.

Now,

With both my hands on my heart,

I accept feeling perfect,

Whole and complete.

An integrated being.

You are not perfect and you don't need to be.

You are human with a human story that will always include both joy and pain,

Light and shadow,

Wisdom and mistakes.

Your past actions don't disqualify you from love.

They qualify you for deeper compassion,

Both for yourself and for others.

The parts of your story you've been most ashamed of are not separate from your spiritual journey.

They are integral to it.

They have taught you,

Shaped you,

And contributed to the wisdom and compassion that you carry today.

Now,

With this new expanded awareness,

Thanking my body for this healing,

For this journey,

I can gently come back to my body,

To the top of my head,

To my forehead,

To my nose,

To my mouth,

To my jaw,

To my throat,

To my shoulders,

To my chest,

My stomach,

My legs,

My knees,

My feet.

I can wiggle my fingers,

Wiggle my toes.

And very,

Very,

Very gently,

When I'm ready,

Open my eyes.

Now,

Thank you very much for joining me.

And we end this practice with this affirmation.

I accept my whole story and all parts of myself,

My past experiences,

Including the ones I'm not proud of,

Have contributed to my growth and wisdom.

I choose integration over separation,

Self-compassion over shame.

I am a whole being worthy of love,

Exactly as I am.

Thank you very much.

Namaste.

Reviews

This was exactly what I needed. I made a mistake of filling my community laundry room washer up too high and it almost blew up. Management called. I almost owed $400 for my mistake and didn’t have enough quarters to put my laundry in separate loads at the time which is why my washer was full. Luckily they gave me the money to do the loads and showed me grace but I was so embarrassed. This audio helped me validate my intentions which wasn’t to almost destroy the washer but to try to get my family’s needs met so we could have blankets and bedsheets tonight. This met me in a high pressure situation. I feel soothed and beyond grateful. I forgave myself for my mistake.