Calling To The Divine Mother In Times Of Need

From the moment we’re born, we depend on others to meet our every need. When those needs are misunderstood or neglected, we carry that imprint into adulthood and turn to addiction to offer the comfort we seek.

In this replay from a live Insight Timer talk, Marcella Friel explores how true healing begins when we reconnect with the unconditional love of the Divine Mother.

You’ll hear live reflections from participants, an exploration of archetypes such as Mother Mary, White Tara, and Shekinah, and two guided EFT Tapping rounds to help you release old pain and restore your inner trust.

This is a gentle invitation to rest in the sacred womb of space, where you are already safe, held, and deeply loved.

Transcript

Today what I thought I'd share with you is a recording of a live talk that I gave on Insight Timer,

Where I am live with my following there most Saturday mornings at 8am Mountain Time.

And in this talk,

We talked about the Divine Mother,

And how do we call out to the Divine Mother in times of need,

And how do we cultivate a relationship with that Divine Feminine Principle to help us feel a sense of safety and belonging in our world.

So you'll hear me talking with participants through the chat function.

It's a very engaging talk.

I hope you enjoy it.

Let's just jump right in.

So I thought what we would do today is pick up on that thread of calling out to the Divine Mother,

Especially when we are feeling despair,

Loneliness,

When we're feeling like we're in kind of a pit and there's no way out.

And,

You know,

When we're in those kinds of circumstances,

That's typically when we reach for cookies,

Ice cream,

Wine,

Like whatever it happens to be,

Shopping,

Gambling.

How can we,

When we're really feeling the need for support,

Comfort,

Assurance,

Faith,

Hope,

Inspiration,

How do we open the channel of prayer to the Divine Mother and have those needs authentically met,

So that we don't have to rely on what I would call compensatory needs to do that for us.

So let's begin by considering and looking in our mind's eye at ourselves when we first emerged into this world.

Yeah,

I want to invite you to just see yourself as a newborn baby coming into this world.

Newborn human children,

As we know,

Are the most helpless creatures in creation.

Years ago,

I watched a foal being born.

It was a beautiful thing to witness.

And that little foal,

Almost as soon as it came out of its mother's body,

It kind of wobbled its way to its legs,

Stood up,

And started walking around.

This was within minutes of being born.

But as human beings,

We don't do that.

So we come into this world absolutely dependent on others to fill every need that we have.

And that is quite a predicament when we consider that the only ways that we had to communicate our needs was through sounds we would make,

Or facial expressions,

Or body movements.

Like if we didn't like something,

You know,

We might squirm away from it.

Or if we wanted something,

We would try to,

You know,

Work our way toward it.

But it really was very much a kind of touch-and-go situation in that getting our needs met in a good way really depended on how the adults who were taking care of us understood what it was that we were trying to communicate through our gestures and our vocalizations and all of that,

And then what actions they took or didn't take to meet those needs.

If there was a disconnect between what we were trying to communicate and what was actually coming back at us,

Then we can form in our very,

Very young precognitive brains,

Very primitive but very powerful decisions about how safe we are,

How much we can trust ourselves,

How much we can trust other people,

How much we can trust the world,

You know,

How welcome we are in this matrix of creation.

And as we go through our lives and we start to consider,

You know,

The possibility of some kind of a relationship with what in the 12-step world we call the power greater than ourselves,

And in this context today we're talking about the power greater than ourselves that provides nurturance and sustenance,

I.

E.

The mother,

The mother principle.

Depending on what we experienced in our early lives,

Just what you were saying,

You know,

There could be difficulty relating to the notion of a divinity with a sense of trust,

With a sense of confidence,

With a sense that we actually can be taken care of,

That we actually do belong here.

Do you see?

So that's one consequence.

And the other is that in our adult lives,

Let's say our needs as children were misunderstood or they were neglected,

Then we might grow up with a very ambivalent or confused relationship about how to meet our own needs.

And again,

This is where we can turn to the addictions to do our bidding for us.

These patterns,

They run so deep and they're so deeply ingrained in us that they're beyond language.

And that's because we formed them before we had language to understand cognitively and,

You know,

Communicate and describe.

So Rita is saying,

So true about addictions,

I'm in recovery now.

Oh,

Good for you.

Thank you.

But now from alcohol and drugs,

Find myself using food.

That's one of the things that can happen with addictions,

Rita,

Is that addictions can migrate,

You know?

So in the recovery world that I live in,

We talk about how an addiction can,

You know,

Walk in the front door,

So to speak,

And you shut the door.

And then the addiction kind of goes around the side,

Climbs in the window,

You shut the window,

It goes up to the roof,

It comes down the chimney.

So yeah,

Addictions can migrate that way.

We give up alcohol and drugs,

We go to food,

We give up the food,

We go to,

You know,

Media,

We give up media,

We go shopping,

We stop shopping,

We become codependent.

Deepak Chopra once said,

All addiction is the search for God.

And when I heard that from him,

I simultaneously felt like I had no idea what he was talking about.

And then I knew exactly what he was talking about.

It was like,

Boom,

Boom,

You know,

It hit me that way at the same time.

So for the purposes of our conversation here,

We could say,

All addiction is the search for the Divine Mother.

Here's another piece about addiction,

In this context,

Is precisely what you're talking about,

Rita,

To feel better,

Get energy and comfort.

We have a tendency with addictions,

To believe that getting what we want will give us what we need.

So we get very confused with our needs and our wants.

So what does that look like?

I need to be comforted right now.

I need to be held and loved and comforted.

I want chocolate.

I want ice cream.

And it's important to recognize in this that we live inside of a media culture that pushes that on us.

So,

You know,

Like if you think about a TV commercial with somebody like the first couple bites of ice cream,

They take a few spoonfuls of ice cream in their mouths,

And they're like,

Oh,

Oh,

You know,

The ice cream is going to give them the comfort or the relief that they're looking for.

But no,

No,

It's an ounce of pleasure for a of pain,

Literally,

In this context,

Literally.

The other thing,

Too,

Is the confusion of like the serotonin and the dopamine.

You know,

We're looking for that deeper serotonin level of satisfaction.

But what do we do?

We go for the dopamine hits.

You know,

It's like we're trying to reparent ourselves.

We're trying to play that mother role using a child's logic to do it.

You know,

A child doesn't understand the difference between its needs and its wants.

So,

You know,

When it's feeling scared and it wants to be soothed,

It goes for the ice cream rather than sits down and says a prayer to the divine mother.

Simona seems to be a constant search for replacement and equally good feeling if giving up one thing.

We live in a materialistic world and society that promotes and is addicted to and rewards short term pleasure at the expense of long term gain.

And that's what you're talking about,

A constant search for replacement,

An equally good thing.

Yep.

So the task actually is to kind of flip that on its head and be willing to endure an ounce of discomfort for a pound of reward,

Pleasure,

However you want to say it.

And when we're really caught in the throes of addiction,

It's like we don't want to do that.

So a classic example is I don't want to get up and exercise.

You know,

I don't want to get out of bed,

Go out and take my walk,

Do my jog,

Do my yoga.

I don't want to get out of bed.

I want the short term comfort of staying in bed and the discomfort of making that transition into the exercise.

I just want comfort right now.

But when we actually rouse ourselves and we take that moment of discomfort and we lean into it,

Then what we get is the enormous benefit,

Like how much better it feels to get up and get some exercise versus just staying in bed with the covers over your head.

Do you see?

So this is where prayers to the Divine Mother come in.

Let me give you a couple of names for the Divine Mother and some of these you might recognize.

So in the Christian tradition,

You know,

We have Mother Mary and she is the bearer of sorrow.

There's Quan Yin from the Chinese Buddhist tradition,

Known as she who hears the world weeping.

Quan Yin hears and takes in all the suffering of the world and she transmutes it into compassion.

White Tara from Tibetan Buddhism,

One of my personal favorites.

In fact,

She's right behind me over my shoulder.

You can't quite see her,

But she is the goddess of healing and longevity,

Motherly protection.

Then we have wrathful,

You know,

Energetic goddesses like Durga from Hinduism.

She's the slayer of demons.

She's the destroyer of obstacles.

And,

You know,

The wrathful mother goddesses tend to,

They will destroy what needs to be destroyed,

And then they care for whatever needs their care.

Shakti,

The primordial feminine energy,

The creative force behind manifestation.

So let's stop there for a moment.

I mean,

There's other names as well.

Shakina,

The indwelling feminine presence of the Divine.

But that principle of Shakti and Shakina actually is interesting because for me,

When I think about the Divine Mother,

I think about or I reflect on unconditioned space,

The space of unborn awareness.

So this Shakti energy was described as the creative force behind all manifestation.

So behind the manifestation,

Behind the appearances of good,

Bad,

Happy,

Sad,

Hard,

Easy,

Addiction,

Recovery,

You know,

Drunk,

Sober,

Behind this constantly swirling display of appearances,

Behind the fluctuations of our moods,

I feel good today,

I don't feel so good,

You know,

Tomorrow.

Behind all of that,

There is a ground of space,

Or what's sometimes called the womb of space.

And this is a cradleless cradle.

This is a place where we can actually rest and lay down our struggles and allow ourselves the space to simply feel what it is we need to feel,

And to place that feeling in that cradle of loving kindness,

In that cradle of space.

And,

You know,

You've probably heard the saying,

You have to feel it to heal it.

You know,

So it's in that place where we can feel what we need to feel,

Mixed with this loving space of the Divine Mother,

That we are renewed,

Regenerated.

It's where we draw the strength to say no to that which does not serve us,

I.

E.

The addictions.

You know,

If you think about addiction,

It's all about not feeling what we don't want to feel.

So not feeling the discomfort,

Not feeling the discontentment,

Not feeling the anxiety and the restlessness.

So again,

It takes some strength,

It takes some willingness to turn to the Divine Mother,

Which ultimately,

It's not a force so much outside of us,

But really within the center of our hearts.

Oh,

Good.

Okay.

You've never looked at it that way.

Good.

So does that help you have a better reckoning with divine principle,

Rosie?

Another way to think about it,

If you're really psychologically oriented,

And the whole notion of the Divine is a little difficult,

We can say that this ground of space,

This womb of space,

Is the ocean of the subconscious mind.

You know,

We have these little prefrontal cortices here in our brains,

And we think,

And we have cognitions,

And we look at the world very logically,

And,

You know,

We kind of have executive reasoning and all of that,

And we believe that that is sovereign.

But that's actually about two to five percent,

I've heard different numbers,

Of our total awareness.

And the subconscious is the other 95 to 97 percent.

So it's kind of like the conscious mind is a shot glass,

The subconscious mind is a swimming pool,

You know?

Are you talking about surrendering to something I can trust totally?

That's a big question.

Am I talking about something?

Well,

What I would say about trust is that trust is earned.

So again,

Going back to childhood,

We have oftentimes a conflicted relationship with trust,

And it's difficult to trust,

Because if we grew up in a situation where the adults who we were supposed to be able to trust perhaps were not trustworthy,

Then again,

That disrupts our internal trust mechanisms,

Do you see?

And so we don't trust,

You know,

We either don't trust at all,

And we're completely kind of feral and wary,

And we don't trust ourselves,

We don't trust other people,

We don't trust the universe,

Or we become completely gullible and naive,

And we're overtrusting and too trusting,

And maybe we kind of,

You know,

Bypass and we shine things on,

And then what happens?

We end up getting hurt,

Do you see?

So trust is earned.

So don't trust what Marcella is saying just because Marcella is saying it.

Filter this through your own discernment and your own understanding.

And I would say,

You know,

There is a place for a certain,

What I recall,

A positive mistrust,

That being just a sense of discernment,

And maybe a slight sense of detachment.

Really filtering what you're hearing through your own experience is what she's saying making sense to me.

How does what Marcella is saying relate to my own experience?

Oh yeah,

It does relate.

Oh no,

It doesn't relate.

Do you see?

The trust ultimately begins within your own being,

And what can help you do that is developing a sense of trust in the divine,

And specifically the divine mother.

Okay,

I hope that answers your question.

Rita,

Is there,

Okay,

Great,

Rosie,

Thank you.

Is there perfect faith?

What does perfect even mean?

Faith is a journey,

And faith is constantly,

I would say,

Honed or tested,

Pressure tested,

By experience.

So in the Bible,

It says faith is the substance of things hoped for,

The evidence of things unseen.

Faith is the evidence of things unseen.

Well,

Gee,

I have no idea how this situation is going to work out.

I cannot see the results of how it's going to work out,

But you know,

I know it's going to work out.

Why do I know that?

Because I have faith.

I can't see it,

But my evidence is my faith.

If there ever were a time in human history when faith was being pressure tested,

We're in it,

You know.

So you can have experiences that can test your faith,

And maybe you have doubt,

And you really don't see how it's going to work out.

You don't know.

You know,

That's the place where you get to make the choice,

The decision,

Gee,

Which way am I going to go?

Am I going to have faith in this,

Or am I going to have fear and succumb to fear?

Am I going to have faith that ultimately things will all work out in the long run,

Even if they don't work out according to my expectations?

Okay,

Great.

And sometimes it does,

And sometimes it doesn't.

Maybe some people have like completely bulletproof faith.

Great.

I mean,

That's wonderful.

You know,

Our faith grows,

And our faith is developed through our experiences of life,

You know,

The challenges of life.

Faith doesn't grow when things are going hunky-dory.

You know,

Faith is forged in the cauldron of hard times.

So I hope that answers your question,

Rita,

And I'd love to hear more.

Okay,

Why don't we do some tapping?

This is a tapping sequence for cultivating faith in the Divine Mother,

That which is greater than our own being,

The force of divinity that gives birth to the universe,

Including us as well.

Let's just start by bumping on the sides of the hands together.

Take a nice breath here.

Take a deep breath in.

Even though it feels really hard for me to trust the Divine,

Go ahead and say that after me.

I deeply love and accept myself,

Even with that.

Even though I have deep spiritual distrust,

It feels really hard for me to trust that I am divinely loved and cared for.

And this causes me a lot of anxiety and a lot of confusion.

And if it doesn't cause you anxiety and confusion,

Feel free to substitute whatever distress it causes you.

Even with all of this,

I choose to love and accept myself right where I'm at.

There's an intelligence to the mistrust.

Good.

There's wisdom in the distrust.

Nice.

And even that is part of the Divine.

Great.

Right.

Okay.

So let's go with that.

Tapping around the points,

Let's go to the top of the head.

It is so hard for me to develop spiritual trust.

Good.

Let's tap right inside the eyebrow,

Right where the eyebrow meets the bridge of the nose.

It's hard for me to trust that I am divinely loved and supported.

Okay.

Side of the eye,

Tapping on the side of the eye.

It's hard for me to trust that I really belong on this earth.

Under the eye.

It's hard for me to trust that there is a Divine Mother who loves me and cares for me.

Yeah.

Just give yourself a moment here to really feel that in your heart.

And again,

If my words don't resonate with you,

Just use your own.

Okay.

Under the nose.

And this mistrust makes me feel very anxious.

Under the mouth.

It makes it very hard to trust myself.

Collarbone.

It makes it hard to trust other people.

Under the arm.

It makes it hard to trust the universe.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's take a breath here.

Just breathe in and out.

Tapping back on the top of the head.

This whole predicament of not trusting the Divine.

Okay.

Yeah.

Tapping inside the eyebrow.

Okay.

Tell me if this is true.

This is just coming in intuitively.

I can feel it starting back in my early childhood.

Okay.

Good.

Side of the eye.

Growing up with adults that I could not trust.

Yeah.

Under the eye.

Growing up with adults who were inconsistent in their behavior.

Okay.

Under the nose.

Growing up with adults who were absent or caused me harm.

Yep.

Okay.

Tapping under the mouth.

And all the confusion that has come out of that experience for me.

Okay.

Again,

This is coming through intuitively.

So,

Collarbone.

Feeling like I am all on my own.

Right?

Okay.

Good.

I see the hard side must be on track here.

Under the arm.

Feeling like I am all alone in a hostile universe.

Yeah.

Oh.

Okay.

Top of the head.

Feeling disconnected from life.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

And all the grief and sadness and pain of that.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

And all the ways I have used my addictions to cope.

Okay.

Under the eye.

As best I can in this moment.

Under the nose.

I want to send love to this part of me that feels so lonely and abandoned.

Good.

Under the mouth.

Sending love way,

Way back to that lonely and hurt younger part of me.

Yeah.

Collarbone.

Letting that part of me know.

Mm-hmm.

Under the arm.

I am here and I am listening.

Okay.

Top of the head.

I understand how hard that was.

Good.

Inside the eyebrow.

And I am giving myself as much love as I can in this moment.

Beautiful.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

And I invite as best I can the great universal force of unconditional love under the nose,

Manifesting as the divine mother.

Mm-hmm.

Good.

Under the mouth.

To come and heal this pain in my heart.

Great.

Collarbone.

Even though I have no idea who you might be.

Mm-hmm.

Under the arm.

Even though I have no idea if you are even real or what you are.

Okay.

Good.

Top of the head.

I choose to feel your presence as best I can.

Okay.

Inside the eyebrow.

Even if I can't define it or don't understand it.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

Because the truth is,

Underneath all the pain is love.

Mm-hmm.

Good.

Even though I don't understand it,

Love is somehow the answer.

And I choose as best I can in this moment to allow my entire nervous system to rest deeply.

Okay.

Collarbone.

In the loving presence of the divine mother.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Ooh,

Wow.

Okay.

Let's shake it out and take a drink of water if you have some water.

Yeah.

Thank you all so much for doing that tapping with me.

Ada,

You just joined minutes ago and tears started pouring.

Oh,

See?

That's the divine mother right there.

Yeah.

Welcome.

You just walked right into the loving arms of the divine mother.

How beautiful is that?

How wonderful.

Welcome,

Ada.

So,

Ladies,

How is that tapping for you?

What shifted for you?

Does that help you connect with the divinity of the divine mother?

Okay.

Rosie is saying,

I like the idea of the universe looking out for me.

Now I'll try to look at it as the divine mother.

Wonderful.

Wow.

Rosie,

This is a big shift.

This is a big shift.

You came in here and you said,

I'm not so sure about the divine mother,

And now look where you are.

That's so wonderful.

Oh,

Yeah.

Excellent.

Excellent.

Wonderful to have you back,

Noah.

Thank you for this tapping.

I got back in touch again with myself.

Oh,

How wonderful.

So great.

Kathleen,

I appreciate acknowledging the inner child.

Any other thoughts before we adjourn here?

All right,

Ladies.

Well,

Maybe we're going to wrap up early this morning.

This is Marcella signing off.

Yeah.

Come follow me on Insight Timer.

There's more where this came from.

Lots of love,

Everybody.

Bye.