Welcome back,
Welcome back to the Wild Becoming Podcast.
We are in a new season of Life Friends,
Coming out of a big season of self-actualization,
Of growth,
So much beauty and so much to share.
Slowly,
Gradually been coming back online more and more and more.
And this is the first time that I am sharing my voice.
I haven't even shared any videos with my voice in quite some time or podcasts.
And so let's get into it.
I broke momentum,
Friends.
I broke momentum to fall into flow,
Into deeper flow with God,
A source of divinity,
So that His will may be ever present over my own.
And that's powerful.
That's so powerful because earlier this year I mentioned that this was the year.
This was the year of God's will.
Last year was all about surrender to God.
And so much learning came from that and is still being integrated and there will be so much to share on that topic as these years and the lessons from these years sort of overlap.
But this was the year of God's will and falling into this beautiful sense of obedience with that.
You know,
Formal.
And also bring out our willfulness.
Like as if I'm an adult,
Why do I need to be obedient?
Why do I need to be disciplined?
And it's not in that way of being treated as a child.
There is this source and this sense of innocence and this sense of rogueness before you kind of come into this,
But it's very much about stepping into womanhood,
Manhood.
It could even represent being in this covenant or relationship.
A deeper relationship,
A marriage.
And really diving into what that all means to really serve for your highest good and the highest good of someone else.
So I have a very strong feeling that this season is going to be so much about this journey.
This series is going to hold so much for you.
So buckle up,
Lots of spirituality,
God,
Being on the path of devotion and what it all truly means.
Deeper and deeper truths being shared through real human experience.
So if you're all about that,
Then this is the right spot for you.
Growing life.
Growing life.
What does this mean to you?
For me,
This means so many things.
Having taken so many metaphors from my garden over the years.
And being this emulating this inner scientist within my little home garden.
That I use to understand nature,
To understand life,
To understand God,
To understand existence.
But for right now,
For those listeners who don't know.
I am growing life in terms of human life,
The life and soul of a little baby that's coming into the world.
This spring.
I am pregnant with our second child.
And right now I am moving through this experience and there is truly nothing like carrying life,
Nurturing life,
Nurturing yourself,
And having God pour life into you in each moment.
I always feel closer to God when I'm carrying a baby,
When I'm carrying life,
But it's interesting because it is really not a cognitive process.
And it's like really feeling God's presence.
And there's more of this silence,
But more of this feeling of God creating this life with you.
And when you think of the miracle of creation and what it means for co-creation to take place with God,
It's not even the thought,
But the experience of life unfolding within you and these deeper forms of connection to our creator,
The creator of the universe.
You learn and you lean into this notion of what it truly means to steward life rather than control it.
To let life unfold.
Coming back to the garden metaphor,
Like a flower would unfold.
You don't rip the petals open.
You don't force life.
And when you look at it.
.
.
The same is true for our actual relationship with God.
God is not a controlling God.
He granted us free will but to truly know God's will is to know this deeper meaning of co-creation.
And I keep saying to know,
To know,
To know,
To know what?
What do you mean to know?
Because it's not only unknowing in the mind,
But like I said,
It's this embodiment,
This feeling.
In fact,
The mine can hardly wrap its wiring around it at all.
It's an embodiment,
A knowing deep in your body,
Your heart,
Your soul.
And yet the mind.
.
.
Wants to know and there's this thirst that the mind has to know something that it can never truly know.
We can attain knowledge with the mind,
But never wisdom to a sense.
Because for me,
Wisdom comes from God.
But wisdom comes from experience as well,
That you might say.
And perhaps if we can agree that our experiences are on a divine trajectory,
We might come to the knowing that it's all co-creation.
An innate wisdom where we're co-creating through our choices,
Our prayers,
Our surrender,
Even into the harder moments of discomfort.
That we are asking ourselves to lean into.
Because our highest forms are not afraid to lean into discomfort.
This beautiful piece of scripture says,
Before I formed you in the womb,
I knew you.
And it comes to remind us of this wisdom,
This deep,
Deep wisdom formed of co-creation.
So coming back to personal experience,
Our choice,
The choice between my husband and I was,
Do we bring this baby through at this time?
Why not sooner?
Why not later?
This was the time.
I had this inner knowing that I would know when the right time was because it would reflect in my husband's eyes.
And it did.
And I just knew.
And it happened without any resistance.
And yet it felt like there was so much chaos and so much resistance around me at that time.
But one thing was certain.
It was.
.
.
The time was right for this baby.
A lot of growing life in this way is surrender.
A deep trust in God,
In the unknown.
Through this experience your ability to surrender grows deeper and thus your faith.
So even though for me this year may have been about God's will,
Surrender and this notion of surrender is still in the air.
To know God's will and surrender.
And your trust in what you don't fully understand with your mind.
What you have no true knowledge of,
But a deep,
Innate wisdom of.
Letting go of uncertainty of outcomes.
Trusting that God is in every heartbeat growing this baby with you.
What I can tell you is that it grows your faith.
And our faith is grown in so many ways.
Through suffering,
Especially that is when your relationship with God tends to grow stronger.
But in life too.
I truly believe that God wants to enjoy the joys with us and the times of fear and the pregnancy and the birthing of life and the birthing of life does not come without fears and through this season of life we get to develop our faith we get to declare through each moment of growth.
For me with this little one.
And for you,
Maybe it's something else at this time.
And you know,
Much of God's work feels so unseen and slow and silent.
But just as I've shared,
It can be felt.
Just like growing life where you can't see what's developing,
There is this beauty in this hidden season.
I feel like I'm emerging from a hidden season only to go into another to nurture this baby,
This soul and continue this journey of truly nurturing my faith.
And there will be more of that in future episodes to come.
More on this process of refinement.
What happened in that season where there was no voice,
You know,
The voice is really that,
That center for us to speak truth.
And there was a time period where.
It really felt like there was nothing that needed to be spoken just to arrest that source of truth in the world.
In our hidden seasons,
There is lessons,
There is beauty,
Especially in these deeply quiet moments that they feed us,
They feed our body.
For me,
My vocal cords,
My soul,
The spirit.
Where we relearn what true nourishment means.
What does it mean?
Just removing deeper layers of that onion.
Or maybe I'll say surrendering to its unraveling so that life feels a little bit more truthful.
So that the words that are spoken.
.
.
Hold a little bit more depth.
And we may not understand every single one.
Where is she going with this?
But on some level you know that you feel it.
And these are the seasons.
They help you rethink your daily rhythms,
Your routines,
How often you want to speak or be in silence,
Stillness over movement.
And how you want to rest and slow down to be truly held in the grace.
Because when we are trying to do everything like we try to do.
.
.
When we think we know everything,
Like we think we know.
And we fail to surrender to the plan.
That is held for us.
And we fail to be held by the source of unconditional love that holds us.
We're at a loss.
And it's interesting because there used to be this great fear that came with pregnancy.
This need,
I need to protect my energy.
I need to protect myself.
And it's interesting being in the second one this second time around because it's more of this deeper knowing that God is acting as a shelter and a protector for me.
And has placed me in relationship with other protectors in my life,
Starting with the covenant of marriage and a husband.
That brings in unexpected ways of love and protection.
And it's interesting,
We don't always perhaps align with what we are taught in societal times.
But when we lean into ancient words,
Ancient scripture,
We think,
Too,
That we understand the interpretation.
But oftentimes we tend to learn through our deeper experiences.
And sometimes even more so with deeper experience of trial and error.
Some of the falls and failures of life.
Of who really stands by us in those times?
What relationships grow and flourish in those times?
And when you think about it,
I mean,
The womb itself is a direct reflection of God's protective nature.
And we can participate through prayer,
Through declarations.
But learning scripture,
Learning the word.
There is such a difference between.
Just learning something cognitively.
And practicing what it truly means when you're in a fearful state.
And sometimes we show up to prayer in those fearful states.
I mean,
I'm willing to bet that the majority of the world's conversations with God are when we are most scared of what's to come.
But what about that in between?
Like any relationship that we have.
We can get closer when we share the good,
The bad,
And the in-between,
The truths of life.
And honestly,
This kind of relationship relieves a lot of fear.
Because it's almost like you're just in constant connection.
Saying thank you for small beautiful moments.
Sorry for the times you could have done better.
And asking for the strength to meet new moments with courage.
It's really a beautiful design.
When you stop fighting the design,
You realize the design of it all.
From life to the womb.
It really does provide this safety,
This security,
This nourishment.
And this is seen right from the beginning of creation to the creation of family and legacy.
To the structure of the womb and the creation of new life in the form of a baby,
Of a child.
It's so connected.
And there will be so much to unpack over many episodes.
But for right now,
Let's just look at the design.
Of what it means to wait well.
Or waiting well,
Or even just waiting.
When we think of pregnancy,
It's this notion of this pause.
And this pause feels holy in a sense.
It's this invitation to slow down,
To pause,
To be with it.
It's this invitation that refines us and strengthens us as well as our faith.
And there are so many biblical examples of this.
Women waiting for their children.
You hear this in the stories of Sarah,
Of Hannah,
Of Elizabeth.
I felt this.
There was a time when it wasn't the time.
And there was a time that God said,
Yes.
God's will.
Usually not for you.
Not yet.
Or yes.
And I would say it's no different.
It's no different from these biblical stories.
Or the stories we hear in our everyday life where some women are told that they can't conceive and then later they witness a miracle of growing life.
Or others that find there is a slow wait to conception.
Or in my case,
The right time.
I've never had to bear the burden of a slow wait to conception in the sense of trying.
But there is different forms of pain in waiting in the way that you are asked to wait.
But I'd like to think of it as divine timing.
Where nothing is truly wrong.
It's just the best timing for everyone involved.
Including the future trajectory of the child.
Through this period of waiting that The generational nature of God's promises feel like They are so important.
That they have to be revealed in divine order.
And that order is perfect,
Even when it seems.
.
.
That it's not.
And it's not just about this generation or that generation or how many years we want for our age gap between our children for different reasons that we have or different reasons that we create with our mind.
But God and this higher source really sees the whole family lineage.
And the patterns and where a new story can be written.
Why this age gap?
Why not that age gap?
Why a girl now and not a boy?
Why a boy now and not a girl?
Why this many kids?
Why now?
Because it's absolutely perfect.
That's why.
And why question perfection?
What if we just leaned into it?
What if we just squeezed as much juice out of the experience so that it could all fully be felt?
All of it.
The emotions of fears,
Of faiths,
Of deep truths.
Because it all has a purpose.
It's all based in purpose.
I think growing life has taught me more about purpose than any job,
Any career,
Any ambition.
Because it's a calling like no other.
So much is birthed through you,
Not just in you or of you,
But through you.
So much greater than just you.
I also think that through this experience we learn of God's maternal nature.
And creation-like nature that he's built to remind us of it.
That can be further explored through motherhood,
Fatherhood,
Parenthood,
And how we nurture life physically,
Emotionally and spiritually.
And through this purpose,
The world can be so.
.
.
Unstable.
It can feel like it's collapsing sometimes it feels this way and yet nothing is more important.
Nothing is more valuable,
No mission is ever clear,
And no path is better carved in uncertain times than when you are growing human life.
Growing life in this space you built.
It's this co creation of deep rooted faith of peace.
And it brings joy to an anxious world even when you're not the one who's in the seat of growing life in the moment.
So whether it's in the cards for you to be in this experience now or later or for you to be part of it.
I hope you get to embrace.
Whatever is on the aligned path for you at this time and that you're able to call on this path of devotion because that's what it's really all about.
Whether you become a mother or a father,
It's being on this path of devotion.
On the physical,
Mental and spiritual and emotional levels.
And being able to witness feeling.
And how feeling doesn't have to be bad all the time,
Even when it feels a little more chaotic or life is throwing you twists and turns.
And so whatever it is that you're waiting for.
I hope that you are waiting well.
And just know that you have all of my love as you're coming into this season of waiting.
Of nourishing and I hope of rest.
And we will continue this conversation as we talk a little bit more about breaking momentum and what it means to truly be in a state of refinement.
So buckle up because there's more to come.
