Beyond People-Pleasing: What Do I Want?

If you find yourself putting others first, worrying about disappointing people, or losing touch with your own needs, this gentle guided meditation invites you to pause and turn inward. Through self-compassion and reflection, you'll begin to loosen the grip of people-pleasing and reconnect with your own voice. What do I want? What do I need? What matters to me? You don't have to have all the answers-you are allowed to honor your needs, trust yourself, and care for others without losing yourself.
Music: Blossom by Liborio Conti

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this guided meditation, Listening to your own voice. Before we begin, I just want to share a short story. Something that happened to me recently. I was staying with a friend at a retreat. And at lunchtime, She asked me a very simple question. What do you want to eat? What do you want to bring for food for lunch? And without even thinking about it, I said, I'm not sure, What do you think? And she looked at me and said, I can't answer that for you. At that moment, Something in me stopped. Because it was such a simple question. What do you want to bring for lunch? And I realized. . . I didn't know. For most of my life, I had been a people pleaser. Not consciously. It was almost automatic. I would notice what other people wanted. What would make them happy? Maybe at times what would keep things peaceful, And I would naturally move in that direction. And I realized that I'd gotten so used to looking outside myself for the answer. That I stopped asking myself the question. What do I want? And maybe you can relate. Maybe sometimes you find yourself thinking about what other people want before you think about what you want. And maybe it's because you want people to be happy. Maybe you want to fit in. Maybe you want to make someone proud. Could be because you're afraid of disappointing someone. Or maybe, Like me, It's so automatic or you don't even think about it. You've simply gotten so used to taking care of everything and everyone else that checking in with yourself has become unfamiliar. So today we're going to practice something very simple. We're going to pause. And listen. Not to find the perfect answer. Not to figure out your whole life, Just to give yourself a little space to hear your own voice. So I invite you now to find a comfortable position if you haven't already. Really settling. Allow your hands to rest wherever they naturally fall. And if it feels comfortable, You can gently close your eyes. Or simply soften your gaze. I invite you to take a slow breath in. Gently breathe that out, Maybe even sigh. Again, Nice deep breath. Long sigh out. You don't have to change your breathing now. Gently let it find its own rhythm. And you don't have to clear your mind. Or become perfectly relaxed. You simply have to be here. Coming back to yourself. And invite you to notice the places where your body is supported. The chair beneath you. The floor. The bed. Whatever is holding you right now. Let yourself feel supported. And for the next few minutes, You don't have to care or take care of anyone. You don't have to answer anyone. You don't have to make anyone happy. You don't have to figure anything out. Just be here. With yourself. Notice your breath. Notice your body. And notice what you're feeling. You don't have to change any of it. Maybe you're calm. Maybe you're feeling a bit distracted. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you're carrying something difficult. And maybe you're not feeling much at all. Whatever's here. Let it be here. You don't have to judge your experience. You're simply noticing. What do I need? And now gently ask yourself, What do I need right now? You don't have to force an answer. Just listen. Maybe you need rest. Or maybe connection. Maybe you need some space. Maybe you need encouragement. Maybe you need to ask for help. Maybe you've been holding back. And you may need to say no to something. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. Maybe you simply need a moment where you don't have to be on. And perhaps nothing comes. That's okay. You don't have to know. Sometimes the first step is simply listening to yourself. Just realizing that you haven't been listening. What do I want? Bringing that attention to this question. What do I see? And again. There's no right answer. And you don't have to think about your entire future. Spring it down to this moment. What do I? Listening inside, Maybe even feeling. For feeling inside if the words don't come. Maybe it's a felt sense. Maybe you want to feel peaceful again. Maybe you want to laugh. Maybe you want to create something. Maybe you want to spend time with someone you love. Maybe today you want to try something new. Maybe your body's tired and you simply want to rest. Maybe you want something that you haven't allowed yourself to want. Or maybe your answer is simply. . . I don't know. And that's okay. You don't have to know yet. Point isn't always to have an answer. The point is to remember that you are allowed to ask yourself the question. Now think for a moment about the ways you may compare yourself to other people. Maybe someone seems more confident. More successful. More popular. More certain. Maybe they seem to know exactly where they're going. But you are actually seeing only a small piece of their story. And they are only seeing a small piece of yours. You don't have to live. Someone else's life. You don't have to follow someone else's timeline. You don't have to want what they want. Take a moment and just take a deep breath in. Long breath out. And as you breathe out, Let yourself release the idea that you need to be somewhere else than where you are. Take another breath in and breathe that out. Letting yourself release that thought, That idea. That you need to be. Somewhere else than where you are. You are allowed to be here. Exactly here. Now I invite you to imagine for a moment that you're standing at the beginning of a path. You can't see the entire path. You don't know exactly where it goes. And that's okay. You can only see the next few steps. You don't need to know what happens five years from now. You don't need to know. Who you're going to become. You only need the next step. And maybe the next step is asking for help. Maybe. It's having an honest conversation. Maybe it's resting. Maybe it's trying something new. Maybe it's letting go of something that no longer feels right. And maybe it's simply taking care of yourself today. You can take one step. And then another. You don't need to know the whole map. And now bring your attention back to your breath. Notice the air moving in. Moving out. Notice your body. Notice the room around you. And remember. You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to know exactly where you're going. You don't have to be everything that everyone wants you to be. You can pause. You can listen. You can ask yourself. What do I need? What do I want? And you can give yourself permission. To discover the answer slowly. You can care about other people without abandoning yourself. You can be kind without losing yourself. You can change your mind. You can take your time. You can find your own way. And if you're not quite sure. What you want yet. That's okay. You don't have to know yet. You are still becoming. But you take one more slow breath in. Gently let that go. And when you're ready. . . Gently start to wiggle your fingers and toes. Gently move your body. And in your own time. Whenever you're ready, You can gently open your eyes. Coming back into the room. Bring back into this moment. And carry this simple reminder with you. You deserve to hear your own voice. And you are allowed to listen. Thank you so much for joining me today and practicing with me. It's been a blessing. When you're unsure of the next step, You can. . . Gently come back to this meditation. To help you to remember. Have a beautiful day. I love you. Because they can. Blessings and Namaste.