Welcome to IFS Meditations and Insights,
A podcast on personal growth through internal family systems.
I'm Tim Fortescue,
Your guide,
A trained IFS practitioner focused on spiritual wholeness.
Here we explore self-discovery and embracing all parts of ourselves with love.
This allows us to receive divine love and share it with others.
These episodes aim to bring you inner peace and a stronger connection to the sacred.
Today I want to delve into a topic that I've had some personal experience with,
Using IFS to tackle chronic pain and illness.
So settle in,
Open up your heart and mind,
And let's begin with as much curiosity and compassion as we can.
Let me preface this episode saying that I am not a trained healthcare professional.
I do have a doctorate,
But it is from the seminary,
More in the theological end of the spectrum.
But I do have some personal experience on this topic,
And I hope it's helpful to you.
Living with chronic pain is a complex experience that extends beyond physical discomfort.
It encompasses emotional turmoil and mental anguish,
Making it a multidimensional challenge.
It's important to acknowledge that the pain is real and valid,
Regardless of what others may say.
And I can speak from my own personal journey of living with chronic back pain for many,
Many years.
I have found that an internal family systems or IFS approach can be incredibly valuable in understanding and relating to my pain in a compassionate way.
Instead of viewing pain and chronic illness as an enemy to conquer,
IFS suggests embracing it as a part of ourselves that's trying to do the best that it can to serve a protective purpose,
Just like all the other parts within our inner system.
According to the IFS model,
Our psyche and mind consists of different parts,
Including a core self of various subpersonalities that have formed to help us survive and adapt.
Often there are vulnerable exile parts that hold wounds,
Fears,
Or insecurities.
And protector parts emerge to defend these exiles,
Sometimes leading to inner polarization and pain.
Approaching my pain with curiosity has allowed me to uncover the exile parts that are stuck in past trauma,
As well as the protector parts that harshly criticize in order to prevent further harm.
By showing empathy towards these parts and giving them space to be felt,
The initial pain can transform into a process of grieving,
Relief,
And self-compassion.
And sometimes,
Let me point out that my pain,
Or even I've found folks with a chronic illness,
Is that illness or that pain can be a trailhead to parts that may be hidden,
And that pain is an indicator of parts wanting to come forward.
So sometimes there may be specific parts that I identify in the pain or feeling the pain,
But sometimes it can be a trailhead.
So be curious and be open to both of those approaches as you get curious about your pain or chronic illness.
One example is I know that I first injured my back when I was around 11 or 12 years old,
And so sometimes my back pain can be an indicator of those younger parts that are still stuck in that era of my life.
So be curious into what comes up for you,
But know that that pain or chronic illness can bring a gift of awareness to parts that you may not have noticed for a while.
I've worked with people who have dealt with,
For example,
Protective parts that would tense their entire body in response to pain.
However,
When they calmly acknowledged how hard that this part was working to protect them with some curiosity and compassion and a sense of connecting with that part,
It began to relax its grip a little bit,
And this has allowed exile parts that those protectors are seeking to protect,
Carrying childhood sadness,
For example,
To emerge,
Needing reassurance that it was now safe to release those old tears and the baggage,
And they could join the present moment.
They didn't have to carry the burdens that they carried,
And they weren't bearing those burdens alone.
With each part that I witness and care for,
I notice a layer of pain and tension,
Sometimes melting away.
Sometimes the pain doesn't go away,
And sometimes the pain may be too acute to even go there,
And I want you to be gentle and curious with those parts,
To trust yourself,
Trust the process,
Because this doesn't eliminate the chronic pain entirely or the chronic illness that you may be diagnosed with,
But it creates space around it and reduces its intensity.
And IFS has helped me and others to learn and to coexist with pain and chronic illness without being overwhelmed by it.
Although approaching pain with compassion is not always easy,
Or it may not even be possible at times,
IFS continually reminds me and others that there is potential for insight and growth.
By attending to exiled hurt and validating the protector parts,
We can find a path towards inner wholeness.
My pain,
And maybe your pain or chronic illness,
Serves as a reminder to care for the parts of ourselves that we may have once tried to ignore.
In summary,
IFS offers a holistic model for engaging with chronic pain through empathy and curiosity.
Your experience is valid,
And it's important to approach your pain with patience.
There are likely parts within you that need your warmth and wisdom,
And they'll really be able to take that in.
And it's also good to remember that growth happens through compassion,
And you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
You have inner resources,
And you have resources in the broader community for you on your journey,
And I hope you can feel some of that here.
