It's so interesting to me that.
.
.
Fear is seen as an enemy.
But yet.
.
.
The more we get honest about our human experience.
We see that there's a lot of fear there.
And I also find it amazing how much of that fear wraps around essentially two different concepts,
But they're the same.
Which is the first,
I'm afraid I'm not enough.
In the second.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
And no matter the long list we have of our fears.
I feel like.
They can all be dropped in one of those two buckets.
And here's what I'm going to say about.
The nature of fear that is sort of the fast forwarded conclusion and then we will rewind and walk our way there.
And that is,
In some regard,
But also deeply true.
We are only afraid of the truth.
And even though I could say that that's a true statement,
I could also say.
.
.
We are afraid of what we misunderstand about the truth.
Which maybe more clearly says.
Our fear is simply a misunderstanding of what is.
Furthermore,
Along with saying things that are deeply true.
It could also be said that.
.
.
The thing you fear most.
Is so intimately tied,
If not the same thing.
As the thing you desire most.
In alignment with what I've already said.
We are only afraid of the truth,
But yet we deeply crave the truth.
It's kind of like saying.
.
.
I want so badly to be what I am,
But I am so afraid of being what I am.
I want so badly to let go,
But I'm so afraid to let go.
And there's many different ways to say this,
But it's all saying the same thing,
Which is the beautiful.
Thing in the impossible thing about words.
It points to it,
But it can't actually capture it.
And there's a beautiful simplicity.
That I find spirituality points towards.
Whereas we could have 10,
000 stories of fear.
10,
000 things we think we are afraid of.
But yet the more you examine them.
It all becomes the same fear.
It's like seeing,
Oh wow,
I'm only afraid of one thing.
Likewise with all of the things I think I want,
Oh wow,
I only want one thing.
And this helps too.
Reduce a lot of commotion in the mind.
If you think you're afraid of 10,
000 different things,
That's a lot of commotion.
If you think you want 10,
000 things,
That's a lot of commotion.
When it all unravels and it's seen that it's all just one thing.
Furthermore,
It's one thing you fear,
And it's one thing you desire,
And it's the same thing.
What a great simplicity.
Which points towards a beautiful stillness that says,
Just breathe.
What's really going on here?
Rather than trying to deal with the 10,
000 stories of fear.
We can deal with the reality of the fear.
What are you really afraid of?
And I find that the more I sit with that,
And yeah,
Sometimes it's hard.
But the more I sit with it and acknowledge what is really going on,
It shows me the doorway of.
.
.
Surrendering that fear?
Which isn't to say that.
.
.
There is no fear.
More so as to say that it's perfectly okay that there is fear.
But the truth is greater.
Which is where we find the expression of courage.
Courage isn't the absence of fear.
Courage is courage because there is fear.
But we show up anyway.
What I find helpful.
And it's not to say that you have to find it helpful as well.
But I'm sharing my own experience here.
With regards to getting in touch with the fundamental fear.
Coming back to.
The first bucket of,
I'm afraid I'm not enough.
The more I sit with that.
And go into it.
I see that it's deeply true and I'm afraid that it's true.
But within a certain context.
The one that is afraid within my experience.
Is who I think I am.
Which is to also say,
It's the ego that is afraid.
The ego fears it's not enough.
But the more I look at this character,
I imagine myself to be.
That isn't a real something at all.
That imagines itself into existence.
It's true that it's not enough because it's not real.
It makes perfect sense why it would feel inadequate.
And so rather than trying to conquer that fear or inadequacy.
Can I just let it be true?
That who I think I am is not enough.
Which means I don't need to try and be enough.
I can just be.
Furthermore,
It invites the question,
What is enough?
And using silly language.
That may or may not resonate.
It points me to see that God is enough.
It points me to see that I am.
Swimming within a miracle that is brilliantly designed.
That knows my own heart better than I do.
And has clearly set me upon an intentional journey to align myself.
With the sacredness of what is.
And whatever that is,
Is enough.
Furthermore is to see that.
This whole human journey fundamentally is not about me.
As a separate something.
Being better than something else.
Which is how the ego tries to survive,
Tries to validate itself.
Tries to conquer the inadequacy.
Let me prove myself as better than others.
Which is interesting because it's just an idea.
It's just a story I tell myself,
It doesn't make it true.
But it's a way of hypnotizing myself into thinking that I am enough.
And I don't know if this lands for you.
I mean,
It really depends to what degree you've marinated in this flavor of pointing.
But I wonder if you can.
See this,
That there is this character that we imagine ourselves to be,
That lives in the mind.
That is a story of a someone that is just mental commentary.
That is so terrified of not being validated as real.
And for many people,
They don't discern the difference.
Whereas there is this character in their mind of who they think they are,
But they don't see it as a character.
They think it's who they really are.
It's like the ego hasn't been identified.
Rather,
We are.
Identified as the ego.
Who we think we are.
And for me,
That's one of the most profound discoveries in this human journey.
Was seeing that this character I imagined myself to be is so impossible.
It's not really here.
And my apologies for repeating myself for the thousandth time,
But.
.
.
It's like playing a game.
And in the game you have a piece that identifies your character.
And as you play the game.
There's things that happen to the character.
Whether you're collecting imaginary money or you're collecting imaginary points.
And there's all these things that seem to be happening to the character in the game.
But you are not the character in the game.
And the more you think you're the character in the game,
The more stressful the game.
The more fear there is in the game.
The more you're worried about how many points the other players have.
The more those other players become an enemy because you might not get the points.
Because you think you're the character in the game.
I find that to be such a fascinating illustration.
I mention it quite often.
We get caught up in the game thinking we are the character and it's fine.
It's fine in a way because really nothing's happening to you.
And that's part of the point of the game is to get caught up in the game.
And how beautiful is it to step back every once in a while?
And see what's really going on.
Oh,
I'm not that character.
Oh,
I don't have to take this personally.
Oh,
This isn't really about me.
And there's a lightness that emerges.
There's a playfulness that emerges.
There's a great remembering.
A remembering of what you really are.
And you breathe into that,
Maybe you smile.
And then eventually you get lost in the game again.
It's also very much like having a dream at night and believing the dream is real.
And you wake up in the morning and you're like,
Oh my goodness.
That wasn't real at all.
And you smile.
You go about your life,
But then you fall asleep again.
And you have a dream.
How silly would it be?
That there was some sort of goal.
Of not getting lost in the dream as you sleep at night,
It's perfectly fine.
It's perfectly fine because as you're dreaming,
You're rested safely in bed.
Nothing's really happening to you.
And this is.
A mirror of what is happening on a very deep spiritual level.
Whereas we're having a dream of a human life.
But yet,
Behind the scenes,
There's nothing really happening to you.
And the more you think the dream is real,
The more offensive that statement is.
So my playful apologies.
If you really think the dream is real.
I think it's real sometimes.
I get it.
And yeah,
It's totally possible that someone could live a whole life and.
.
.
Not discern the difference.
There's still a lot of learning that's taking place.
This is also something I find interesting about my journey.
I can't really take credit for that discernment.
Like whatever it is that woke me up to see that.
I can't say that I did it.
I can't say that I made it happen.
It was something that happened.
I can't even say that I pressed the right spiritual button or did the right spiritual exercise.
It's just what happens.
It was the journey.
Which also shows me,
Especially as you wake up from the character,
In some regard,
And again,
I'm using impossible words here.
But in some regard,
It's like saying,
I'm not doing anything and God is doing everything.
And so,
How absurd it is for me to take credit.
For anything.
Which,
If this is true,
Then how absurd it is for me to blame anyone else.
As if they did it and it wasn't just God.
And I understand how difficult these pointers might be.
Again,
Depending on.
What degree we believe in the dream.
But one of the illustrations that I say all the time,
And I hesitate even saying it because I say it a lot,
But it's beautiful pointer.
Is like when lightning strikes the tree.
Do you see from one level it's so easy to blame the lightning?
And be like,
No,
Look.
It's the lightning.
That set the tree on fire.
And destroy the tree.
It's the lightning's fault.
And then I asked,
Do you really think the lightning did the lightning?
Or was it the clouds that did the lightning?
Was it the moisture in the atmosphere that did the lightning?
Was it the rotation of the Earth?
Who can we blame?
Who did the lightning?
And the more you go down that rabbit hole,
You see that it's just one thing happening.
That the lightning in the tree are not separate things.
It's just one thing being what it is.
Doing whatever it needs to do to maintain the balance that allows it all to be here.
It's so silly and impossible to blame things.
As if things act independently from everything else.
And I understand there can be a difficulty to see how this applies to human beings.
But I see that it's the same.
Where beyond all of the stories of separation that we tell.
Again,
They're all just stories.
It's just one thing,
Breathing.
And I could see potentially how the mind has a huge struggle with that.
Because it destroys everything.
To a certain degree.
It pulls back the curtains.
Behind all of our stories of separation.
That splits life up into 10,
000 different pieces to see that it's only one thing.
And if it's one thing,
There's nothing to blame it.
And if it's one thing,
Then what am I?
I would have to be that one thing,
But then so is everyone else.
So is everything else.
So it's not exactly.
.
.
Positioning of being special,
Is it?
It's absolute equality.
Which is kind of like saying.
.
.
We are all God's children.
And you know,
In the vastness of that.
To me,
Which seems profoundly and unavoidably true.
There's also what seems to be the experienced reality.
Of my humanity.
As a person that appears to be separate from other people.
Which is?
Let's call it the game being played.
But then on the other side of the coin.
I see that it's all imaginary.
But yet it's still being played.
It still asks for my participation.
But I see in the participation of the game.
It's ultimately pointing me back to see beyond the game.
It's all working together.
It's almost like asking the question if it's all one.
Then why does there appear to be all these separate things?
It's kind of a question of duality.
If it's all one,
Then why is there the appearance of duality?
Well,
If the one is going to have experience.
There has to be the experience of duality.
There has to be this and that.
In order for there to be an experience of a me.
There has to be something called you.
So in order for there to be experience,
There has to be the appearance of separation,
But it doesn't mean it's real.
It's the appearance of.
It's almost like saying,
If God wants to see itself.
Then God must split itself in two.
Which is also the nature of relationship.
In order for you to experience what you are.
There has to be this play of relationships.
Where it's like you're simply looking into a mirror.
And your play of relating helps you see yourself.
The deeper point here is.
If you.
.
.
Want the experience of existence.
If you want the experience.
To be.
Rather than not be.
Life has to be exactly how it is.
And this is deep,
And profound,
And wild.
And I'm using impossible words to point to it,
But.
.
.
In order for this to be this.
Which is better than nothing at all.
Then it has to be how it is.
And my goodness,
To really see that,
To whatever degree you see it,
Because it can be seen in many different degrees.
But to truly see it invites a great relaxation of the heart.
About the way things are.
Like the forest analogy that I use constantly.
You can go into the forest and be like,
Wow,
This is a mess.
This is absolute chaos.
Well,
For the forest to be the forest,
This is what it needs to be.
This is how it is what it is.
It doesn't matter if you like it.
It doesn't matter if you understand it.
For it to be.
This is what it must be.
And the more you see what it really is.
Which is like seeing the big picture.
The more you're okay with the way it is.
Because it has to be that way,
And it's better than nothing at all.
Do you see how it points to this profound and radical acceptance?
Which I think is interesting because it's not inviting you to accept it.
It's inviting you to see the truth of it,
And then acceptance is the natural byproduct of it.
Which is the nature of all of these spiritual virtues.
Whether it's humility,
Whether it's acceptance,
Whether it's forgiveness,
Whether it's compassion and love.
These are not things that you do.
They are the natural byproduct of what is true.
And so the more you see what is true,
All of these things are given to you.
Witches.
Amazing and profound.
It exposes a radical okayness.
With all that is.
Which includes any sense of non-okayness.
That's okay.
It's all OK.
And this okayness invites.
A beautiful stillness.
A beautiful stillness to actually meet yourself.
A beautiful stillness that sees you don't have to run away from yourself.
A beautiful stillness that shows you all is love.
And how incredibly helpful and healing is that.
Because you can see the problematic tendencies in our humanness.
Is birthed through the opposite of that.
Where there is a withholding of love.
Where there is a rejection of what is.
And this is what gives rise to all of our.
Problematic tendencies,
Or.
.
.
Behaviors that.
.
.
Expressed some flavor of violence.
It is that which does not see the truth of what is.
Which,
You know,
In a roundabout or obvious and direct way.
Shows you how closely healing is tied to the truth of what is.
To align yourself with what is real and true.
Is the doorway to healing.
And of course,
In order for that to happen.
There's a great self-sacrifice.
Which is,
In another way of saying,
An ego sacrifice.
Which is,
As I've mentioned countless times.
The end of trying to be God.
And just letting God be God.
Thank God.
You mean I can just let God do what God needs to do in order for life to be life?
Yeah.
I don't have to try and control everything.
I don't have to.
Pretend like I know what is best.
You can just be.
You can focus on the journey before you.
And even though it might be articulated in a beautifully or poetic way.
I can promise you that on the surface it's going to look like a mess.
And that is the beautiful brilliance of it all.
Just like the forest.
If you zoom in on it,
It looks like chaos.
But you see the whole thing and you say,
My goodness,
This is extraordinarily beautiful.
Just like ourselves,
If we zoom in on ourselves,
My goodness,
What a mess.
Zoom out,
See the whole thing.
My goodness,
You're gorgeous.
Welcome home.
