Let me speak to it in this way as it relates to my personal experience.
I can recognize that within me.
I don't want to spend this life.
Without being in relationship.
With others.
So in that regard.
I don't want to be alone.
And as much as I love my wife.
And I want to spend.
The rest of my life with her.
I know that if something were to happen.
.
.
Another beautiful opportunity would present itself.
And so I don't fear it so much.
And I'm also open to the possibility that anything could happen.
But as it relates to allowing myself to be in relationship with others.
Fear my inability to do that.
And so.
.
.
It's as if God would provide.
Again,
Still only relying on God.
And these relationships that we go through,
My goodness.
I have such a journey of relationships.
And it's so magnificent.
In the way that.
The beautiful relationships that come into my life are not my own doing.
Like meeting my wife?
I almost didn't meet her.
It blows my mind that.
I almost made a decision out of absolute fear.
A fear of what others would think.
And didn't meet her.
And then I sat with that fear.
And said,
What is this really about?
What am I running away from?
And then just kind of saw through it all.
It's like,
Wait,
This is silly.
But I was like.
.
.
I was leaving.
Would have never met her.
And so,
You know,
There's all these twists and turns.
And before that,
You know,
It was a relationship experience that was just an epic disaster.
In the most beautiful way.
It's like we don't really know.
We don't really know from which way it is coming and which way it is going.
Again,
It points back to trusting.
And I see that pattern so much in my life where we encounter those fears of essentially,
Is this going to work out?
And then the moments where it totally looks like it's not working out.
And then somehow it circles back around and works out.
In a way that I didn't anticipate.
It's almost like I can't trust the mind.
I can't trust the mind.
In it.
Insatiable.
Lust after.
Figuring it out.
I'm always wrong.
And every time I find out how wrong I've been.
I just lean more and more on God.
I just had this experience yesterday.
Where?
I was in this pattern of worrying about something,
But it's a worry that I've been through a thousand times.
And it was like,
You know,
I'm just going to show up and do the best that I can do and trust God.
And then.
.
.
God came through,
So to speak.
It's like,
Yep,
See,
There you go.
And it's amazing how.
In the play of things,
It takes you to the edge.
It takes you to the edge of your ability to trust.
And that's intentional.
Of course it does.
How else is it going to grow?
How often do we encounter that feeling of I can't handle this?
And then we find out that we can.
I can't get through this,
And we find out that we can.
