What happens when you don't agree and it becomes a heated conversation?
I don't have heated conversations,
Really.
I guess it depends on what you mean by heated.
I can have moments of being frustrated.
In a conversation.
But I'm not really one to experience like.
Loud,
Blame-filled conversations.
Because what is a heated conversation?
If it's not.
Trying to prove yourself as right and somebody else is wrong.
That's not something that I find myself interested in because.
.
.
In one regard it's not true and In another regard,
It doesn't matter.
People are allowed to see what they see.
And if I'm already whole and complete.
I don't necessarily need somebody else to agree with me.
And if I feel like I do,
That I'm not seeing the truth of things.
And furthermore,
As it relates to conversations with people about sensitive topics.
The more I extend a freedom for them to think what they think.
The more open they are to hear what I have to say.
You know what I say often in my relationship?
I often start what I say with,
I could be totally wrong.
But this is what I see.
And it's true.
I could be totally wrong.
And it's very disarming.
But if you want to be right.
.
.
If you're convinced you're right,
Then it's very difficult to say that.
I would just ask,
Is it really true?
Do you know that?
Do you know that you're right?
Or does it just look that way from where you're standing?
How many times have you thought you were right only to find out you were not?
How many times were you so convinced?
Only to find out.
You didn't know.
And if that's the case,
If the mind has that capacity to become so convinced and then be wrong,
How could you ever trust the mind again?
When it says you're so convinced.
You've been through this before.
Which points to the deeper truth of,
Wow,
Even though I seem convinced,
I don't really know.
I could be wrong.
I don't really know what's best.
I don't know what's best for tomorrow.
I don't know what's best for my wife.
I don't even know what's best for me.
All I know is what it looks like from where I am standing.
And people are standing in wildly different spots.
But if we can come together and explore what it looks like from where we're standing,
Where everyone is allowed to see what they see.
Then it becomes fascinating.
For me,
That's real conversation.
Any conversation where I'm trying to convince somebody else that I'm right.
It seems like it defeats the purpose of conversation.
Furthermore,
What helps is that.
I fundamentally know that it's impossible for anyone else to understand me.
And therefore it's impossible for me to truly understand anybody else.
And there's a certain freedom in that.
Of freedom that doesn't demand the impossible.
I see that so often in my relationship where There's moments where it looks like she understands me.
And then something happens where it's like,
Oh,
Well,
I guess I was wrong.
That you understood me.
It just looked that way.
