Stoic Snippets: The Importance Of Friendship

According to science and history, friends are one of the most important aspects of a person's happiness. It follows that who we choose as friends and how we treat them are critical to our well-being. So what does Seneca the famous Stoic have to say about this matter? Find out in this quick episode.

Transcript

Welcome to Stoic Snippets,

Ancient wisdom for the modern day.

Today's episode is dedicated to Rita from Michigan,

Thanks for all your support.

Certain people will talk to anyone,

That's me,

I'm way too open,

There is rarely a trip to the supermarket,

Sauna or station where I'm not having a natter as we say in the UK.

However,

I still keep a small circle of friends,

See friends are important and so choosing friends is an important task,

Seneca writes about this too,

He says I would have you discuss everything with a friend,

But first of all discuss the man himself.

This is because the true value of a friend is the opportunity to be as open as you are with yourself,

With them,

To trust them as you trust yourself.

Once you are certain of the character of your potential friend,

Seneca suggests doing the following.

Regard him as loyal and you will make him loyal.

Some for example,

Fearing to be deceived have taught men to deceive,

By their suspicions they have given their friend the right to do wrong.

Why need I keep back any words in the presence of my friend?

Why should I not regard myself as alone when I am in his company?

This is such a powerful message,

Really it's an act of faith.

It sounds like the wrong way around though,

Treat them as loyal and they will become so,

Almost like if you build it they will come,

Shout out to anyone that gets that movie reference.

But as with so many wonders and joys of life,

They seem simultaneously paradoxical and logical.

How can your friend be loyal if you give them no opportunity to be loyal?

How can you trust them when you trust them with nothing?

You can't enjoy your friendship if you keep your friend at arm's length,

You have to let them in.

Choosing your counsel wisely is wise counsel.

Goodbye for now my friend and if you want even more wisdom like this,

Please go check out my courses in Stoicism,

You'll love them.