Welcome,
I'm Teresa and I'm so glad you're here with me.
For the next few minutes with me,
I'd like to give you somewhere you don't have to manage how you're being received.
You don't need to make the right facial expression.
You don't need to know what to say.
You don't need to sound interested or cheerful or relaxed.
You don't need to make yourself comfortable so that someone else can feel comfortable around you.
There's nobody watching.
Nobody waiting for your response.
Nobody wondering whether you're doing this correctly.
You can simply be here.
Take whatever breath comes naturally.
You don't need to force it to be slower or deeper.
Air breathing doesn't need to perform here either.
Feel the surface beneath you.
Notice the weight of your body And maybe let yourself take up exactly as much space as you're already taking up.
No need to shrink.
No need to expand.
Just notice,
This is the amount of space I occupy.
Many of us learn very early how to adjust ourselves around other people.
We learn which parts of us are welcomed and which ones seem to create discomfort.
Maybe you learned to hold back your excitement.
Because when you loved something,
You really loved it.
And maybe someone laughed.
Or roll their eyes.
Or told you that you talked about it too much.
Maybe you learned to monitor your face.
To remember to smile,
To look interested.
To make eye contact.
To look away at just the right moment.
Maybe you learn to tolerate sounds and textures and crowds and touch.
And conversations.
Long after your body was asking you to leave.
Maybe you learned to rehearse what you were going to say before you said it.
And then replay it afterward to make sure you hadn't got something wrong.
Maybe you learn to laugh when everyone else laughed.
To say,
I'm fine.
No problem.
Whatever works.
Maybe you became very good at being easy.
Let's take a breath here.
Because none of those things mean you were being dishonest.
They may have been ways you learned to connect.
To be long.
To stay safe.
To move through a world whose expectations weren't always obvious to you.
Your ability to adapt may have served you beautifully.
And maybe it still does.
We're not here to take that away.
Or simply wondering what it might feel like to have somewhere you don't need it.
So I invite you to just notice your face right now.
Is there an expression you're holding?
What would happen if you simply let your face be?
No pleasant expression required.
No signal being sent.
No one to reassure.
Let the muscles around your eyes rest.
Your cheeks.
Your mouth.
Your jaw.
Whatever expression remains is welcome.
Now noticing your body.
Is there anything you're preventing it from doing right now?
Maybe it wants to shift.
Stretch.
Curl up.
Or rock gently.
Adjust your feet.
Or wrap your arms around yourself.
You don't have to move at all,
But if your body is asking for something small,
Perhaps you can let it have that.
There is nobody here deciding whether it looks strange.
Your body doesn't need to look acceptable while it finds comfort.
Now notice your mind.
Is it scanning?
Evaluating.
Wondering whether you're doing this meditation properly.
Maybe even wondering what I expect from you.
I assure you it's nothing.
Truly.
You don't owe me anything.
You don't need to feel calmer at the end of this.
You don't need to have an epiphany.
You don't need to leave a different person than the one who arrived.
For these few minutes,
You are allowed to exist without improving yourself.
And that may be an unfamiliar experience.
Because making ourselves easier to be around can happen in ways that look like kindness.
We become agreeable,
Helpful.
Low maintenance.
Flexible.
We anticipate what everyone else might need.
And there is nothing wrong with caring about other people.
There is something beautiful about considering the needs of those around you.
But consideration doesn't have to require disappearance.
You can care about someone else's comfort without believing your own discomfort doesn't matter.
You can compromise without always being the person who bends further.
You can listen to someone else's needs without immediately silencing your own.
You can love people without making yourself smaller so they can love you.
Notice what happens inside as you hear that.
No need to make yourself believe it,
Just noticing.
Maybe there's a part of you that jumps in immediately to say,
But what if I'm too much?
Too emotional,
Too quiet,
Too intense.
To particular.
Too enthusiastic.
Too sensitive.
Too needy.
Too awkward.
And maybe instead of arguing with that part,
We can simply ask.
Too much for whom?
Because the part of you that feels inconvenient in one place may be exactly the part of you that feels wonderful somewhere else.
The person who thinks you talk too much about the things you love is not the only person in the world.
The person who doesn't understand why you need quiet.
Doesn't get to decide whether your need for quiet is reasonable.
The room that requires you to constantly monitor yourself is not every room.
There are places and people and moments.
Where you may discover you don't have to work quite so hard to belong.
And maybe this can be one of them.
Right here.
For just another moment.
Let your face be whatever it is.
Let your body take up its space.
The ear-breathing monitor itself.
Let your thoughts wander.
Let yourself be quiet,
Or restless,
Or emotional.
Are perfectly okay.
Nothing about this moment needs to be made more palatable.
If it feels comfortable for you,
Place a hand somewhere on your body.
And maybe offer yourself these words.
I don't have to make myself smaller to be kind.
I don't have to hide every need to be loved.
I don't have to perform comfort when I'm uncomfortable.
I am allowed to notice what works for me.
I am allowed to take up my share of the room.
And maybe most importantly.
.
.
I don't have to make myself easier to be around to be worthy of being around.
Take one more easy breath.
There will still be moments when you adapt,
When you compromise.
When you choose to meet someone halfway.
That's part of being human together here on this earth.
But perhaps you can begin noticing when adaptation becomes abandonment.
And when you notice,
You don't have to change everything right away.
Maybe you simply ask yourself.
Is there room for me here too?
As you return to your day,
I hope you carry that question gently.
Not as another thing to get right.
But as a small reminder,
Their relationships don't only happen when you reach toward other people.
They also happen when someone is allowed to reach toward the real you.
Thank you for spending this time with me.
May you find more and more places where belonging requires less effort.
And may you slowly discover that you were never meant to earn your place by disappearing.
And remember always,
You are loved.
You are whole.
You are enough.
