65. This Week I Had Surgery And This Is Why I Am Grateful

As Monica prepares to go into surgery, a thoughtful messenger profoundly shifts her perspective, alleviating her anxieties in a single moment. Messages from the universe are all around us, if only we are open to hearing them. Further, we can never truly know the impact our words can have upon others. As such, every moment counts. Everything we do matters. Listen as Monica and Michael discuss how we can hear the messages the universe means to give us, and become a better messenger for others.

Transcript

Far too often we're like,

Oh,

I'm not going to get involved there,

Or I'm not going to be busy with that,

Or I don't want to be involved there.

It's not my,

Like,

You know,

I'm just going to stay out of this.

It's none of my business.

Where in fact,

We really are meant to help assist every single being we come across with in really powerful ways.

There are no unimportant times,

Every person,

Every situation that I find myself in,

There's something for me to do.

It could be something tiny,

But who knows what type of impact.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry podcast episode 65.

So glad to be here.

So grateful for so many things.

In fact,

A week ago,

Exactly today,

I was in a very different situation,

Which I will share with you folks in just a bit,

And that is the impetus,

Perhaps for our topic this week.

I think most certainly.

So first I want to ask all of our listeners,

When was the last time someone came into your life,

It could be a complete stranger and profoundly influenced you?

Is that person even aware of their influence?

And how aware are you of your own influence on others?

Today's episode is all about knowing how powerful you are and how far your influence can reach.

Before this hour is up,

You will have the tools to overpower the thought that what you do doesn't matter.

So first,

Honey Bunny,

I want to start with a story about lollipops.

Good.

As long as it's not that girl stuck in there.

Alison.

We need to get a pet or adopt a child named Ralism.

All right.

In 2010,

Drew Dudley gave his famous everyday leadership TED Talk.

Did you see it?

Well,

People can't hear you when he's not.

No,

Sorry.

There you go.

I have not seen it yet.

In which she challenged his audience to consider how simple yet profound our ability to impact one another is.

Drew tells a story of his last day at college when a woman approached him and told him a story of how he influenced her and one actually that he had no memory of at all.

And not just influence,

But how he changed her life for the better.

So she said four years earlier on the first day of school,

This young woman felt out of place.

She felt overwhelmed.

She felt incapable.

And she was resolute on leaving before classes even began.

She told her parents,

I can't go away to school.

I'm not ready.

And she really decided she wasn't going to sign up for any of the courses.

And that she was going back home with them.

And Drew came out of one of the students' buildings.

Right?

So she was in line to drop out or withdraw.

And he was dressed ridiculously.

And this is in her own words.

He wore the stupidest hat she'd ever seen.

And he was holding a sign about a charity of supporting some,

I think it was for cystic fibrosis.

But he was holding the sign and he's walking around as all of these new students,

Incoming freshmen are in line.

And also he was carrying a bunch of lollipops.

And he headed towards this woman,

Directly towards her.

And he turned to the young man standing next to her.

And he urged this man to offer this woman a lollipop.

He said,

Oh,

Give this nice woman,

This beautiful woman a lollipop.

And the guy was literally so embarrassed.

He didn't even look up.

He's bright red and he just hands her the lollipop.

And then Drew proceeds to make this joke to the woman's parents.

He said,

Look at your daughter.

First stay away from home.

And already she's taking candy from strangers.

So thanks.

It's cute.

So everybody starts laughing.

They think he's hilarious.

But years later,

He's about to leave school.

And she catches up with them.

And she shared this moment.

And she said to him that it shifted everything for her.

That the laughter eased her nerves.

That she suddenly felt at home.

And she knew in that moment that she could actually go away to school.

That she was ready and prepared.

And more than that,

She's still dating the shy man.

That's very sweet.

In the line.

That Drew teased.

And years later,

Drew ended up being invited to their wedding.

Oh,

That's so sweet.

So such a simple example,

Right?

Kind of silly in some ways.

But look at the impact that Drew had on the stranger's life,

Right?

One that he didn't even recall.

He did not remember that day.

And when she even reminded him of it,

It was like a random day,

Right?

Probably how many days did he walk around passing out lollipops for this charity,

Right?

Here's the ticker.

This inspired a new realization for him.

And it's what he calls a lollipop moment.

And that is a moment when someone said or did something that you feel made your life fundamentally better.

And I think the interesting thing about this,

It's those times I think we've all had where I've influenced people,

You've influenced people,

And we're not even aware of it.

And that could be used in a positive or a negative,

Right?

Which is the power of our influence,

The power of one.

And you actually brought this up at a speech you gave at the beginning of September where you said it took one person to start the coronavirus,

Right?

So we never really like,

I think we underestimate that.

We tend to make a big deal of these big things that are huge that very few people are able or capable of doing.

And we applaud that.

We talk about that.

But we don't talk about these little ways where we influence each other's lives for better or for worse.

So and he went on,

Drew went on to say,

And I thought this was really powerful,

We celebrate birthdays where all you have to do is not die for 365 days.

I like Drew.

I think I want to meet him.

And yet we let people- It's the last name.

Dudley.

Dudley.

And yet we let people who have made our lives better walk around without knowing it.

So powerful.

And every one of you has been responsible for a lollipop moment.

There's no question.

So before I go into how we came to this topic,

I'm asking you,

Michael,

Who in your life has impacted you in a profound way and have you let them know?

And I really hope,

Okay,

That you don't go to like Rabbi Shimon Bar Yer Chai or Avashlag or your parents.

We know all of that.

I really want you to dig deep.

Dig in.

Was there like,

I don't know,

You didn't play soccer when you were a kid,

But was there- I did actually.

What,

Did you?

Yes.

The Maccabees?

Was there somebody that profoundly influenced you?

Profoundly,

That's a big word,

Profoundly.

Well fundamentally maybe.

Because I think it's not even the,

It's not the,

It's that made you see things completely different or- The positive way or negative way or- I wanted positive,

But you know,

I actually want to hear both.

Besides the obvious people,

Obviously.

Besides the people you speak about all the time.

You want me to go first and we'll come back to you?

Okay,

Go first.

Yes,

But I'll be thinking while you're talking.

Are you going to pay attention to what I'm saying while you're thinking?

No,

I won't be able to.

You want to let me think?

Give me 30 seconds here.

Okay,

So- Actually,

Yeah.

Okay,

Go ahead.

So I don't know about profoundly,

Right?

That's a big word.

Powerfully,

Maybe.

Importantly,

Right?

That's the word I would choose for you.

So when my father left this physical world about eight years ago,

We were in LA at the time and he was buried in Israel.

So we flew from LA to Israel and we came to Israel and you know,

Because my father had such influence on so many people,

Many people traveled from all over the world to be there for the burial in Israel.

And there was one person who came who didn't come for my father.

And when he hugged me,

He said to me,

He said,

You know,

I said to him,

Thank you so much.

I was surprised that he came.

This is somebody who I'm a very good friend,

But I did not expect him to come.

He's a very busy person.

And he came and I said to him,

I said to him,

I said,

You know,

I'm so appreciative that you came.

Why did you come?

He says,

You know,

I believe that when a friend is going through something significant in their lives,

You show up.

I thought that was such a powerful statement.

And from that moment on,

Really,

I really,

I often think about that,

You know,

Whether somebody I know is going through a painful time or somebody who's going through a happy time,

Showing up,

Even if it's,

You have to travel 15 hour flight or whatever that takes,

It really shifted my view on the importance,

Certainly for friends,

You show up,

Even if it's not comfortable,

Even if you're too busy to do it.

So yeah,

I have to say that I often think about that moment,

Especially in the times when something comes up,

You know,

Somebody we know or friend or student is going through a difficult time,

A parent passing away,

I will often now choose to go even further than they would otherwise,

Remembering how much it meant to me and how much what he said impacted me.

I think I know who that is.

I'm going to ask you Omar off the air.

I think that's beautiful.

And you do,

You actually do show up in those ways for people.

And that's the beauty of this because then we,

When we're moved in that way,

In that powerful way,

We tend to pay it forward because it impacted us so deeply.

Right.

Mine is,

Is from last Tuesday.

So this is something happened last Tuesday.

And thank you for showing up for me.

But it started in the beginning of summer when I tore my tendon and my ankle,

Wear and tear 30 years of jumping,

Dancing,

Running,

Which by the way,

It wouldn't change a thing.

I enjoyed and do enjoy every minute of that.

And that's very much part of who I am.

And then it was repaired naturally with PRP for those of you who aren't familiar with it,

Amazing treatment,

Platelet rich protein,

And they basically take your blood,

Take the protein out of it,

Inject it back into the wound or the injury.

And it mimics as if it just happened where blood is coming to heal it.

And it's your body's way of really repair.

It's amazing.

And it worked.

I had to locate a dance again and then I tore it within 25 minutes of that.

So clearly there were other things going on in my body that needed more support to be able to hold that.

So tore again at this point I was in a boot.

And we all were patient that it's going to end.

And it was going in that direction of healing again.

And then one night I was exhausted.

It took my boot off,

Utterly exhausted and I was going to get changed.

So I laid down in my closet,

Which I do because it relaxes me when I'm that tired.

It's rare,

But I was just exhausted.

So for 20 minutes I'm just laying down to get the energy to like,

Okay,

I'm going to get dressed,

Brush my teeth,

Floss.

You know,

It's steps,

Wash your face,

Put cream on,

Get into bed.

Anyway,

By the time I got dressed,

I got up,

I wasn't thinking.

I just got up as I normally would and I saw my foot stretching and I saw the tend,

I could just,

I looked like Elastigirl.

My foot was like,

And I'm looking and I'm like,

That doesn't look right.

And I'm like,

Oh my God,

And I feel so much pain all at once.

And I tried to throw myself on my other leg only,

But I just,

I didn't have the strength to do that.

And I heard a pop.

So cut to,

No,

And then I really couldn't use the foot very well,

But I heard,

So anyway,

That's known as the bone and the tendon separated,

Which is a ruptured tendon.

And after a few MRIs and visiting surgeons,

The conclusion was I needed surgery.

So you know,

Of course in my mind it was,

You know,

What's the right procedure?

Who is the right surgeon?

What kind of anesthesia do I want?

When should I do this?

And then once I resigned myself to the idea that this is actually happening,

Right,

And I need to make a decision,

I made all the choices.

Then it was like,

Cool,

Pick Abigail off from school.

Who's going to help with the grocery shopping,

The cooking,

The cleaning.

Who's going to wash my hair?

Me.

Yes,

You are a superstar husband.

And now I know you're fully capable of doing these things on a regular basis.

So when I'm all well and good,

We have a lot to reorganize here.

So because it's a month on crutches,

But that wasn't even it.

The real epiphany for me happened when,

Well,

Two things happened.

I got a call from a student.

She was having surgery on her feet.

She did one foot already months ago and she'd do the other one.

And for whatever reason,

I guess she was more scared this time because she had already experienced the pain of the first one.

She knew what to anticipate on someone.

Sometimes it's better not to know what you're getting into.

Exactly.

I always say,

You know,

You forget what labor feels like for the most part.

You wouldn't go back for,

I mean,

You really do forget it because it's worthwhile,

Right?

But then with this kind of thing,

It's really hard to kind of like,

You don't have that euphoric feeling of like,

Yes,

You're in pain,

You just gave birth,

But you're holding this bundle of joy,

You know?

So anyway,

She was really nervous and she wanted to talk to me and I gave her this pep talk,

Which I fully fundamentally wholeheartedly believed and lived,

Right?

But I wasn't applying that to my own surgery.

So when I got off with her,

I was like,

Hey Monica,

You cannot be,

You will not be that person.

You're not going to be the source of strength and reason and certainty and power for other people if you can't do that for yourself.

So that was the first wake up call.

And then the next day I went to work out because I could still do that with the boot,

Limited,

But still trying to do it.

And I was speaking to one of the people I work out with and she was like,

I told her what it actually happened.

I didn't mean to cut you off.

I mean,

You get a lot of complaints about me cutting you off,

But you probably exercise more when you're injured than most of us exercise when we're not injured.

That's perhaps true,

But I also knew that I wouldn't be able to.

I'm not sure that's a compliment.

It's just a statement of fact.

I was careful,

But I needed to get my sweat on.

So she said,

What's come of your ankle?

Because she's seen me in this boot for a while now.

And I said,

Oh,

This is what happened and I have to have surgery.

And all I was focused on at that point was,

Oh my God,

I need surgery.

And again,

Is it the right surgeon?

The doubt,

All of that.

And I didn't go to the place of why did this happen?

Although I think many do because again,

I own why it happened.

You use something over and over again,

It's going to need some kind of repair.

And I was okay with it.

But again,

We're complicated beings.

We question,

Why does it have to be pain attached?

There's so many different variables.

But anyway,

She said to me,

She she's like,

Wow,

Like,

Just like this,

Like,

Monica,

They can fix it.

That's amazing.

That's amazing.

You mean they can fix it?

And I just looked at her and I was like,

Yeah,

Yeah,

They can fix it.

And then I switched everything.

I was like,

Oh my God,

I'm so grateful that there's a solution.

And your mom,

You know,

Karen used to often give this example of a guy.

He's like drowning or there's a flood or something.

And you know,

There's a raft and then there's a helicopter.

There's like three different ways that he could be safe.

And he doesn't take any of them.

And when he dies and he goes up to heaven,

The creator's like,

I don't understand.

I sent you this and I sent you that.

He's like,

But why didn't you come and help me yourself?

Right.

Take me in your hand.

And in that moment,

It was just so clear.

So then I went back to the call with the girl,

Right.

That had the foot surgery.

And I was like,

Okay,

It doesn't even matter.

I mean,

Of course you want a surgeon who is,

Has a good reputation,

A good track record,

But I want the creator to do the surgery.

So I started to envision like light coming into my ankle.

The creator's hand repairing it.

I took my physical self and the doctor in his physicality and I made it all about energy.

Right.

Even to the point where my tendons were like,

Heal us.

Like everything was coming together to work in this beautiful,

Glorious way.

So those two things happened right in the span of 24 hours.

And it changed my entire view of everything and how I approached that.

But then the thought I had after that,

Right now I was in a good space prepped for surgery.

I thought,

Why did I need to hear it from a stranger?

Because I thought that was interesting.

You know,

Usually our influence comes from people we really know well,

We really respect for different reasons or family or friends.

But often we're like,

You know,

We want our best friend to just empathize with us.

We don't want them to say it's going to be okay.

Or we want our husband just to,

You know,

Be also empathetic and loving and don't teach me.

Right.

So I don't know,

Maybe that's perhaps part of it,

But she had the power to get through to me.

Maybe because she doesn't know me at all.

Not really.

And so she was just saying what her reaction was and I could hear it in the most beautiful,

Pure,

Uncomplicated way because we are really just strangers.

So I think that,

And I think that's really part of what I want to say today.

I'm not sure where you're going to go entirely with it,

But it's not just our influence and the power of influence.

It's the power of influence on just souls,

Beings,

People we come across with in the world,

Because that's everything.

And there's a big purpose in that,

Far too often we're like,

Oh,

I'm not going to get involved there.

Or I'm not going to be busy with that.

Or I don't want to be involved there.

It's not my,

Like,

You know,

I'm just going to stay out of this.

It's none of my business.

Where in fact,

We really are meant to help assist every single being we come across with in really powerful ways.

And then,

What's interesting,

I then got an email.

And by the way,

I don't even think that this girl knows how she,

I haven't seen her since that conversation,

And I'm going to make sure I tell her just how much she influenced me and impacted me and how I've shared it with thousands of people already.

But that's the thing that I think is so important.

But anyway,

I got this email because I told the story now and somebody heard it and she wrote to me,

She said,

Thanks for this,

Monica Berg.

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that angst.

I'm in about the same place,

Just received a double diagnosis with further testing to follow.

The fear of the unknown gripped me immediately.

I helped two others gain understanding for them and yet not for me,

LOL.

Then there you were in my email,

A thousand thank yous,

Speedy recovery.

Today is just so cool.

I feel like I've been talking for a really long time.

It's your turn.

I'm entertained.

And also I've been reprimanded by some of our listeners for cutting off some thoughts.

It's interesting.

I guess though,

I have many thoughts,

But the first one that comes to mind is we teach us that it's a spiritual truth,

That there are no coincidences.

And what that really should mean to us as we go through life is that it's not a coincidence that I bumped into somebody going through surgery at the gym.

It's not a coincidence that I heard that my cousin is going through this.

You understand that life is purposeful.

It means not just purposeful,

Oh,

In the big moments,

But every moment is purposeful.

Then even without knowing the effects that you're having,

You begin behaving in different ways,

In ways that are purposeful,

That are impactful.

And sometimes it will be well received and sometimes it won't be received and something will be badly received.

But the idea is not so much even the feedback that we get,

But it's a different way of living life.

I think we naturally give importance to important times and give either zero importance or no importance at all to what we think are unimportant times.

But this hopefully shifts our perspective to say there are no unimportant times.

Every person,

Every situation that I find myself in,

There's something for me to do it.

It could be something tiny,

But who knows what type of impact.

But also we assign when the right time is to hear from somebody.

This happened this week,

Right?

We went to an appointment.

It was the first time I left the house in six days and we ran into somebody and I wasn't expecting to see,

Because I'm also feeling very protected my leg and we looked like,

As she said,

Two kids,

Teenagers.

We had baseball caps on,

Like we're incognito,

Not intentionally,

But anyway,

Didn't expect to run into her.

Right.

And my first thought was like,

Oh,

You know,

I'm feeling not vulnerable,

But like,

You know,

It's about I'm right into like the healing right now.

Right.

And actually meeting her and speaking with her for an hour while she was also having a treatment done was like the most powerful,

Inspiring thing.

But my first thought honestly was like,

I really want to talk to her and I actually really want to get to know her more,

But not right now.

Right.

And so,

But then I was like,

No,

This is perfect.

And I think that if we be to your point,

Whenever anybody comes into our,

We recognize it because we don't always recognize it.

So that's like a step even before,

But when we recognize and we're like,

Oh,

I'm a little curious,

Go all the way with it because it's completely divine and there's something beautiful for both people.

If you find it.

Absolutely.

It's interesting because in that same situation,

So Monica had a doctor's appointment and I was,

Because she's on crutches and can't really show for.

Your body,

Whatever you call it,

Your human.

Yes,

Exactly.

You're,

You're my master for the moment.

So I,

So I went with you and and the idea was I was going to drop you off and then I had a few calls that I had to make and I was gonna go down to the car somewhere private,

Make a few calls and then come up 20 minutes,

Which is by the way,

You told me it was gonna be 20 minutes.

It would have been like an hour and a half anyway.

But anyway,

We walk into this room and as you sit down,

We recognize and we didn't even discuss this.

We each had our own reaction to it.

And my reaction was like,

Oh no,

My plans just went out the window.

There's no way,

You know,

And then we had a very lengthy conversation with somebody who we don't know that well,

But we know,

And it was both,

I think very beautiful and powerful for all three of us and inspiring for all three of us.

And,

But,

But I have to say after my first thought,

My second thought was,

Look,

Everything is from the light of the creator.

I went there too,

Which means,

Which means that there's something here,

I don't know what it is exactly,

But you know,

Lean into it completely.

And because of that,

We had,

I think a beautiful hour or so conversation,

Which I think was,

Was impactful in many ways that we know now and we will hopefully we'll discover later.

But that's the point,

Like you said,

Exactly.

So it's not just about the false sort of assigning,

You know,

Where are the places I get my information,

Wisdom,

Direction.

It's everywhere and from everybody and in every situation that is so it really changes the way we live our lives.

And again,

We're not meant to be perfect and do it every opportunity,

But it is such a powerful lesson.

And I think if every one of our listeners really started living their lives with the understanding that every moment,

Every situation,

Whether you,

You asked for it or did not,

Is there to teach you,

You know,

It's interesting because one of the things,

And my mother,

I think we do this to the extreme,

But my mother was very much lived her life in this way.

Like for example,

When she was looking for an accountant,

She literally would say,

You know,

I need an accountant and she's driving out and she's taking a billboard,

You know,

With a number of an accountant and things like that.

I don't know that I'd call an accountant from a billboard,

But that's not the point.

The point is you begin living your life and knowing that the messages will come to you,

Then they come.

If you go through life thinking that the messages won't come or not knowing that they will come,

They won't come.

There's a famous section in the Talmud that it says whenever you need a message,

It says you should often ask children and crazy people because their ego isn't involved.

And there are many stories with,

Again,

Somebody was struggling with a decision or a situation,

They go out to the street,

Ask a child,

Say,

Tell me something,

Or ask a crazy person,

Tell me something.

And they would find the wisdom or the answer that they needed in those words.

And I think it's not just that that's the way it happens.

You have to be living your life with this consciousness in order to be receiving those messages,

In order to be really open to receive those messages.

So it's not just that they're there because they are there,

But unless you're living your life with this consciousness,

You either won't hear it or you won't be open to receive it.

Well this consciousness really creates the experience of your life and your experience of the people in your life.

And not the ones that you just choose to be part of your life,

But every single person that comes across in whatever way to you.

And I'm a really curious person,

So that really always excites me.

But this is a whole new level.

And I think that's why I like to watch things a lot and listen.

I had a friend and she loved taking the subway because she was like,

That's where I get all my life experiences.

She would look at people,

She would listen to their conversation,

She would see how people were interacting in the world.

And it was very telling to her what was happening in the world,

But also her experience of the world.

And it reminds me just as an aside,

I've mentioned this in some of the previous podcasts,

One of my favorite writers is David Sedaris and he has a new book out of his diaries.

And he actually,

I heard him speaking about this idea that he actually loves the uncomfortable,

Terrible situations in life because that gives him his material.

Right?

So he's already in that way,

He goes through life in that way where everything,

Especially not just also,

But especially the horrible moments are great fodder for his inspiration and art.

And I think that's a part of what we're saying,

Right?

First,

It begins with being curious about how my life is going to unfold.

That the reality is that probably,

I don't want to see the most important messages,

But many of the important messages in life are not going to come from the places and people that we assign to receive wisdom and direction from,

But rather from the other stuff.

And unless you're open to that and curious about that,

You're going to miss it.

But also I think it's complicated the closer you are to somebody really for the most part.

And that's why it's important to,

When you're asking for assistance,

You're asking for a sign you don't assign where it's going to come from.

Right.

Which leads me if I can to another,

It's related to this.

So when you were looking for the right surgeon,

So we asked some of our friends who are in the know,

Who are the best surgeon they could recommend for this type of specific surgery.

Which by the way,

It's not that large of a list because what I,

And this is interesting too,

I think people,

Surgeons decide to focus on a body part,

A knee,

A shoulder,

An ankle.

And so it becomes that their expertise.

And so it's a very small list,

Which I kind of like,

But at first I was like,

Oh my God,

Nobody knows how to do this.

Right.

But in the end it was actually like they do it over and over and over again for a lifetime.

Right.

Right.

So there were basically,

You started with a list probably of four or five and really at the end and then it wound up being two and you met the first doctor and The day before the surgery.

Well,

Well,

Well you,

You met him,

You liked him.

He certainly has a lot of experience.

He was highly recommended.

Quirky,

I would say is the word.

By the way,

I looked him up on line and on those sites where you can read doctors and that was the,

Everybody said he was quirky.

He was quirky.

Then we got a recommendation again from somebody who really knows about the second.

So another doctor who's been a highly rated and so on and so forth.

So we went to meet him and my first surprise,

And this has nothing to do with this podcast,

But I,

You know,

You always assume,

I mean I did that on something like this,

Which is relatively straightforward,

Relatively at the treatment with the surgery would be the same,

You know,

So it just,

They would both say,

Okay,

This is the surgery I'm going to do and,

And you just have to decide which one do you feel more comfortable doing that same surgery.

But the surprising thing for,

I know for you and also for me in that meeting was that he was recommending something drastically different,

Much more aggressive and drastically different cutting of the bone.

I want to go into detail for our listeners.

And by the way,

If I had the choice,

Which I did between terrifying and quirky,

You go with quirky.

Right.

But you want to make the right decision.

Obviously you want to make the right decision.

So aggressive isn't always wrong,

Right?

But it isn't necessary always either.

And I think this is how you made your decision and I certainly supported it in that because as we go through life,

We know,

And this is the spiritual truth that with which we live,

That you want it to be directed by a force greater than you.

And really you want all the people whom you are allowing to influence your life to be directed by a force greater than you.

In choosing a doctor or a surgeon in this case,

You chose a doctor,

Both of them highly recommend,

So you weren't choosing a clack,

They're both highly recommended,

Highly,

And we're very good at what they do.

Very good at what they do.

But you chose the one that you felt had less ego,

Which allowed more of the light to the creator to enter.

Well,

Because I counted five times the second doctor said,

I am certain,

I am absolutely sure I am guaranteed this will happen if you don't do X,

Y,

And Z,

Or if you don't listen to me.

And I was like,

That's a lot of sureness going on here.

Yeah.

Which would translate again to ego.

Because it wasn't coming from a place,

What he was saying was not even helpful,

Honestly,

In this moment.

And it wasn't even really relevant in this moment.

Right.

And we can go,

I don't think it's worth going into the details.

But I think that's the point,

And it's because it relates very much to everything we're saying until now,

Is that the way we try to live our lives and the way we try to choose doctors or anybody else that is going to influence,

If you're looking for a spiritual teacher,

You want to try to find the person with the least amount of ego because then you allow the greater forces of this universe to be the ones directing you.

Absolutely.

And so that leads me,

And if you can share,

I don't know if you were planning on sharing it later or now,

But you said something really beautiful about,

Well,

You touched upon it,

Right,

That you were going to envision and you actually visualize that whichever surgeon you chose and you chose the right one.

But it wasn't going to be him that you're depending on.

It wasn't going to be him that's going to be doing the surgery alone.

Yes.

But rather,

You saw the light of the creator doing the surgery and it was,

Yeah,

This is the doctor that was going to physically manifest that,

But it wasn't you're depending on this doctor but rather on the creator.

What was interesting that happened to me when I spoke to the student who was having the foot surgery,

Because it wasn't my body in that moment,

It wasn't my experience,

I didn't have any fear around it and I didn't have any emotion around it,

Worried out,

Right,

The outcome,

Et cetera.

I was able just to say,

Okay,

This is what's happening.

She's uncomfortable.

She's scared.

Her body is going to be going through something.

I understand that,

Right?

Then I was able to remove myself from me,

Right,

Just to be spirit with creator.

That's why when I hung up with her,

I was like,

Okay,

I got this now.

Right away,

I don't know what came over me,

I closed my eyes.

I really.

.

.

Because until that point,

I kept,

As I've watched way too much Grey's Anatomy and Dr.

Death,

I watched,

Which by the way,

They're great shows.

Dr.

Death was really interesting about this doctor.

Oh my God.

But I had just seen that one.

Actually,

I've been watching both.

I'm never.

.

.

No more of any of that.

When I was visualizing my surgery in the space of which is the right one,

Which is the right way,

Et cetera,

I kept seeing what I saw on TV.

I saw the surgeon cutting and I saw the scalp and I saw the blood and the suction.

I saw all these things that honestly I don't.

.

.

You know I'm very visual and that's how I work creatively,

Everything I think I see.

So when I made it about her,

Then I was like,

Okay.

.

.

And I then took it to my ankle and I was like,

I see light coming in and I see the creator is holding the scalp on.

I see my body coming to work with the creator and I see us all as one and connected and just repair and renewal.

I trust that because the creator is doing this,

The creator is going to guide me as to which surgeon is going to the best conduit to reveal that light,

To reveal that healing.

It changed everything.

For obviously,

And we teach this,

For a person to be a channel for light and to reveal energy,

There needs to be less ego.

So then it just became really clear.

Then I started to become excited because I really couldn't move around as I need to without the surgery.

So I was like,

Okay,

Now I've gotten all the complications in my mind,

Right?

I made it complicated about out of the way and I can just fully surrender.

And when I did that,

Of course,

It's still,

It's not exciting to do it.

But when I walked in and every step of the way,

I wasn't overwhelmed.

I was like,

Okay,

It's something I need to do.

Don't really want to do it,

But I know I need to.

And there's been hundreds of times in my life where I've had that thought.

So then this was completely doable and achievable.

Yeah.

I'll share one other,

If you don't mind.

Any moment is that when we went to see the first doctor and he was quirky as we said,

And in conversation he mentioned that he had previously been a car mechanic.

Now to this day,

We don't know if that was true.

If he was joking around,

If he was just- No,

I think he was right.

But what I asked- But then,

So he's probably,

I don't know exactly.

He's probably late fifties,

Early sixties.

No,

I checked.

He's actually 68.

Oh,

68?

Yeah.

Really?

Okay.

So I was way off.

And so he was like 65.

Yeah.

So he's clearly been a surgeon at least for 35 years or 40 years.

So he's definitely had a lot of experience,

But it was- But I asked him.

How long ago were you a mechanic?

I said,

Was this in your youth when you were a teenager or is this like a career choice?

Like you switch sometimes.

Like yesterday.

Like in midlife where you decided you weren't a mechanic and you were going to become a surgeon.

And then he kind of just looked at me and didn't answer.

Exactly.

So we don't really know.

And also if you could share,

I thought this was both sweet and beautiful,

But what you shared with the.

.

.

So we go to meet anesthesiology.

I love that you find me so entertaining.

I do find you very entertaining in many ways.

So we're sitting with anesthesiologist before your surgery and there were two types of anesthesia.

You can choose.

He recommended one.

There was one,

There was the other.

And then anyway,

So you're being wheeled.

You're in the operating room and you feel the anesthesia.

I feel the fluid going up my veins,

From my hand up my arm.

And he's behind me and he's about to put the oxygen mask on.

And I'm like,

I turned to him and I said,

I have four children,

Please take care of me.

I don't know why he met so cute.

It was just like,

You know,

And I don't know.

I think I wanted him to remember that I'm human and that I'm a human being that really deeply loves and is deeply loved.

That is absolutely true.

And I think that that's what,

And then after I said that,

I looked up and I asked your parents and my father who are all above to watch over me during the surgery and to that I fell asleep until I woke up.

Yes.

And that was fun too,

But we can save that for another podcast.

But I do want to go back away from me.

And I think that we don't connect to the immense power we have when we don't accept or believe that we are powerful.

That everything,

Every moment has a purpose.

Right.

And we all,

I think consistently underestimate our own power.

There's a African proverb that says,

If you think you're too small to make a difference,

You haven't spent a night with a mosquito.

So I think that it's scary,

I think,

For many of us to hold onto that power,

Own the power,

Again,

For both good and bad.

But there's two things I think I want people to think about when we're talking about this topic.

One is that we each have a responsibility in this lifetime to A,

Recognize and embrace our immense power to positively impact another person's life and be aware that we can negatively do that as well.

And to appreciate this gift and make sure we take advantage of it as much as possible.

Because the danger is when we don't believe how powerful we are,

We're careless in the way we behave.

And by the way,

Careless,

Not careless in that we do bad things,

That we don't grab the opportunity.

And also we don't pay attention to what we're doing sometimes.

That can really,

Really damage people.

Yeah,

I'll share something after.

So we never know where the tipping scales are in a person's life.

One kind word could be all it takes to encourage a person to be courageous,

To pursue a dream that terrifies them.

And conversely,

We don't believe that we're powerful enough to watch our words.

We don't think that they're important.

And again,

We can be careless.

And I remember just to give,

There's actually,

I wanted to give one example,

But there's three that came to mind.

I think I'll save the other two for another podcast.

But the one that,

Because the one that really stands out and it really,

Really affected me for a while.

So after we had Josh,

He was in the NICU for a couple of weeks and my older sister's friend had just had a baby like that same week.

So then my sister had a birthday party.

You and I went with David,

Josh was in the hospital.

I'm like broken at this point.

I'm still really struggling with lots of different feelings of shame,

Of guilt,

Of fear.

Anxiety hadn't kicked in yet,

Right?

So we go to this birthday party and my sister's friend has her baby,

I guess he was three weeks old and she comes over and she hands him to me to hold.

And for any woman who knows what it's like to just give birth,

Now imagine you just gave birth,

You have milk,

But you're not feeding your baby.

The baby's in the NICU.

And all of the circumstances.

So I really felt not just broken,

But to hold a baby for me felt very healing,

Right?

So the next thing I know,

Her husband comes rushing over and snatches the baby out of my hands that I was like diseased or something.

And I remember that just in that moment,

I thought,

Wow,

It's really true.

I should feel ashamed,

Right?

Because I was already in such a dark space.

It took me a really long time to get past that.

And that hurt.

And of course he didn't know what he was doing.

You think I was going to ask you,

No,

It doesn't matter.

I think he was afraid of evil eye and I think he didn't know me.

And I think he thought that I would somehow covet their child in some way.

It was wrong.

It was mean.

It was untrue.

It was painful.

And it hurt me in a way because again,

I was already so broken about how I felt about myself in that moment.

So I think that is careless,

Right?

I think that at first second,

He didn't come from fear,

Which is where he was at and just thought,

Wow,

I know what this woman just gone through and this is really healing for her,

Right?

I think anybody,

If you just looked at it objectively would think that way.

So for me,

I think that's a really powerful example.

Beautiful.

It's interesting because this past weekend we had friends fly in from out of town.

They were celebrating for their daughter,

She was turning 12,

Their bat mitzvah.

And we were there together.

And so there's a ceremony and as she came up with her father,

I was sort of smiling at her and looking at her.

And just today I got a text from their parents,

How meaningful it was,

That smile and the attention.

And again,

For me,

It wasn't even that conscious.

Honestly,

In retrospect,

I was so happy to receive that text because now it makes me even more aware.

The gestures that we,

Not just the words and the actions that we take,

The gestures,

People pay attention and you never know,

Like you said,

Somebody's going through pain,

A smile or somebody's going through pain,

A frown.

Any kindness.

And it's such an important lesson because again,

I often get excited when we do these podcasts because again,

If only a small percentage of our listeners start paying attention to the small influences.

Words upon thousands of people's lives will be better just by the few listeners who change their behavior based on this podcast.

So if I could leave our listeners with one thing to remember,

Well,

Two things to remember.

What you do or don't do matters and don't be afraid to use your power.

And I just really love this story.

I think it's really empowering.

It's about Roddy Edmond.

Do you know him?

So most probably haven't heard of him.

He was an American master sergeant captured in 1944 during the Battle of the Bulge.

This humble young man from Knoxville,

Tennessee found himself the highest ranked officer among more than 1200 American servicemen being held at a POW camp.

There was a policy of segregating Jewish POWs,

Shipping them to labor camps where they had a very low rate of survival.

Because of this,

Jewish soldiers were wanting to destroy any evidence identifying them as Jewish if they were captured.

It was January 27th,

1945 when the German camp commander ordered only the Jewish POWs to fall out.

Knowing that about 200 of his fellow soldiers were in grave danger,

Roddy Edmond said,

We're not going to do that and instructed all Americans to fall out.

All 1,

275 soldiers stood at tension in front of their barracks,

Infuriating the camp commander who shouted at Edmond's,

You can't all be Jewish.

Edmond's replied,

We are all Jews here,

At which point the camp commander pointed a gun at Roddy Edmond's head and said,

You will have your Jewish men step forward,

I'll shoot you on the spot.

Edmond's replied,

If you shoot,

You'll have to kill all of us and stand for war crimes after we win this war.

The camp commander stomped away.

Roddy Edmond's never told that story.

His son Chris only found out about it after his father's death.

One of the soldiers there that day sold a house to Richard Nixon.

When interviewed for the story about the house sale,

Lester Tanner,

The previous owner,

Told the story of how Master Sergeant named Edmond had saved his life in a POW camp during World War II.

Chris Edmond just happened to read the article.

As to why his father never told the story,

Chris said,

I think he thought it was part of his responsibility,

His duty,

Not only as a soldier of the US Army to protect his men,

But also as a Christian man of faith to do the right thing to his fellow man.

I think it's a beautiful story.

He didn't even realize his power.

So I think that the other thing that happens is that fear steps in the way.

It's just easier to step away and not get too involved in things.

Beautiful,

Beautiful.

And my takeaway for our listeners is that same idea,

That there are literally no coincidences.

We often speak about that as a big idea,

But the person you ran around the corner and bumped into,

The person who you met who you didn't want to meet.

Every moment,

Every situation,

There's something there that you can influence either in a positive or a negative way.

But I hope for myself and for our listeners that we are inspired more to make sure that when we talk about living a purposeful life,

It doesn't just mean you have a big plan and you're going to do the big things.

Every moment you can give and receive impactful,

Lasting,

Light,

Wisdom,

Inspiration in the small things.

So I think we're asking everybody who's listening today,

Think of people who impacted you powerfully and take the time to let them know.

And also see how you can impact other people's lives as well.

In the small ways,

Right?

I think it's so important to focus- So everyday mundane lollipop kind of moments.

Beautiful.

So before,

First of all,

I really enjoyed that moment.

Thank you for sharing that.

I feel like I was more a listener than a participant,

But I really enjoyed that.

Oh,

Did I hug the mic?

I hope you did.

As always,

We remind our listeners,

If you are inspired by this podcast,

If you get some wisdom out of it,

Please make sure to support this podcast by sharing with all your friends,

Going to Apple Podcasts,

Writing positive reviews,

Five star reviews,

And continue to send your questions,

Comments,

Stories,

Inspirations to monicaandmichaelatcabala.

Com.

Obviously not today's episode,

That came from Monica's life,

But the rest of the episodes are built around the stories and questions that we received from our listeners.

Please continue to send them.

So I'll share a review from one of our listeners in England.

So it begins,

You will only ever judge because you see it in yourself.

That's a quote from our podcast.

Listening to your podcast today on judgment,

I sat with that thought for ages and suddenly realized that what I have been judging in my good friend so negatively these last few months,

I have been actually doing to my partner.

So she's judging her friend for doing something.

And then after she's in the podcast,

She realizes she's actually doing the exact same thing to her partner.

Holy moly.

I love when people use holy moly.

It doesn't have,

I don't think we use holy moly enough.

I mean exactly.

And I hadn't seen it.

How does that happen?

I'm astounded.

Exclamation mark.

I have listened to your podcast only since I found it months ago and I love it.

Thank you so much for your wisdom and dedication.

I love your relationship energy too.

It inspires me.

Keep up the great work,

Chrissy.

That's beautiful.

You know,

I have to ask you because I answered it and you didn't.

When has somebody impacted you negatively?

You answered the positive way.

Oh,

It's funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the negative one,

I remember when I was in eighth grade,

My eighth grade,

One of my eighth grade teachers without going to the,

Again,

So my parents were controversial people for many reasons.

Many people thought that their opening of this wisdom of Kabbalah to the masses was not the right thing to do.

Long story short.

And so my teacher in eighth grade was actually an old friend of my father's who had turned against him.

And so my entire eighth grade,

He treated me terribly,

Terribly.

And I remember like,

It probably wasn't a day that went by that wasn't that something negative,

Like he didn't say something negative to me.

So I don't know if it has had a long-term impact.

I can't point to one.

What was your thought when he did that to you?

Just felt terrible.

You know,

I imagine.

And then because what happens is it's not just that he was treating me terribly.

Then all my friends and classmates started asking me,

Why is he doing this?

Why is he saying that?

Why is he,

You know,

So it had the snowball effect,

Not just on sort of the negative interaction that I was having with him,

But then it made like a weird dynamic within my,

For my friends.

It created a lot of awkward moments and uncomfortable moments for me.

So I don't know if it's had a long-term impact,

Maybe I'm more sensitive to hopefully towards other people because of that.

But yeah,

That's one time of many I can think of where people's behavior in this way,

I can't imagine he wasn't aware of what he was doing,

But whatever that I've experienced in life.

Yeah.

So continue to send your questions,

Comments,

Stories to Monica and Michael at kabala.

Com.

And I hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast.

I know I did as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Bye.

Reviews

Interesting and helpful.