Change 7 Words & Feel Empowered Instantly! #223

Everything is energy. Words and how you use your language can create empowerment or disempower you. In this episode, I share 7 words and phrases that when you change them will make a big impact in your life. Tune in to find out how! This episode was recorded live on April 4, 2022.

Transcript

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday show.

Today episode 223 about mindful language,

Change seven words and feel empowered instantly.

Today's episode is a very practical one.

You want to have pen and paper.

You want to take notes.

It's going to be a fun show.

It's all about language and how you use words mindfully and how using words and changing certain phrases and certain words can literally empower you instantly.

And I'm going to share with you also why.

I talk about this quite regularly.

And it's good to have repetition.

And it's also very good to practice,

Practice,

Practice because it takes time.

I wanted to share this with you today again,

Because I'm currently introducing some statistics in case I'm sitting with my friend that I used to live,

And I'm helping her right now to shift some her language.

And it is just astonishing how much we talk on autopilot or it's such an ingrained in us that we don't even notice.

So I have the permission and I support her by me calling her out when she says certain words or phrases.

And you would be surprised,

Surprised how many times I'm actually doing it for her.

So I want to do this for you here as well.

Some of the words you might know and quick clarification or disclaimer,

Or whatever you want to call it,

I called it seven words.

However,

It's not seven words.

Some of them are words,

But some of them are little statements.

And some of them you might know,

Some of them you don't know.

And it's also an invitation.

This is an invitation.

Everything is energy.

How you use your words,

How you use language,

How mindful you are with what you are actually feeling,

Expressing,

It's totally up to you.

What I'm sharing here with you is something that I do in my life.

And I teach because I believe it makes a huge difference.

And the more people are with me on this mindfulness word game,

I enjoy it more and the world is more mindful as well.

If there's something that doesn't resonate with you,

Or if you don't want to change certain phrases,

Totally okay as well.

You pick and choose whatever you like.

Let's dive in.

The first thing and you might have heard this before,

Especially if you've been following me for a while,

The first phrase,

And I believe if you only choose one day out of the seven that I'm going to share,

This is the top one.

And even if you agree and you say yes,

I'm happy to do that.

You want to have someone that holds you accountable or that you work with or support each other because you don't even know how often we say it without even noticing.

The first one is I can't.

And I will give you alternatives.

I will give you other ways of saying things.

And I'm going to give examples every time.

Also observe your reaction because sometimes we fight for our patterns.

And we say yeah,

But I really truly can't stay here with me.

I'm going to give you some examples.

The very first word or the first statement that you want to change to feel more empowered instantly is I can't.

Now why?

Generally,

It's not true.

There might be a few exceptions.

I don't want to go into the nitty gritty.

It doesn't have to be 100%.

But in general,

Most times when we say I can't is actually not the truth.

The truth is always empowering.

And I give you a simple example.

Someone invites you to have dinner.

And you say,

I can't come.

It's not true.

You could if you wanted to,

But you have maybe a different commitment.

You choose not to.

There's something else more important.

So the word I can't is mostly used in ways that actually not appropriate.

That makes sense.

So I can't is the first one that you want to change.

Now,

Why is this also challenging?

Because when we change certain words,

We are going more into agreement of the truth.

And that also means to stand up for your no or for your choice.

Because it might be easier to say,

Oh,

Sorry,

I can't come versus,

Oh,

I actually don't want to come,

Or I have something that's more important to me,

Or I have not available.

So it can also trigger certain behaviors or patterns or beliefs underneath.

And that's a good thing.

Anything that triggers is an opportunity to grow and heal.

Number one,

I can't,

Here are some alternatives and you want to take notes.

Instead of saying I can't,

You can say,

I choose not to.

It's a very powerful one,

Because it's a choice.

You have a choice,

You make a choice.

I don't want to.

It's also a choice,

But it's like I don't want to,

Instead of I can't.

You could say I'm not available.

You could simply remove it and say it in a statement of for example,

I can't come for dinner.

You could just also say I'm not coming.

I'm not coming.

I have other plans.

There are a lot of other variations.

However,

Check as much as you can throughout the day how often and I've been doing this for a couple of years already.

I can't is extremely rarely that comes out of my mouth.

And if it comes and I catch myself,

I correct myself.

And obviously if I say it,

And I don't even notice and someone else tells me I'm always grateful,

Well I'm generally grateful.

So I can't,

Number one.

Number two goes with the same and you can substitute it in the same way.

Because sometimes when I start sharing this and I say substitute I can't,

Sometimes they say I'm not able.

It's the same.

I'm not able is pretty much the same that I can't.

Because in general,

You are able.

You are just choosing to do something else.

So number one is I can't.

Number two is I'm not able.

And please feel free if something comes up for you.

If a question is coming up or a different thought or a disagreement,

Whatever share with me leave a comment below.

Or if you are on Insta time or Spotify,

You can leave me a message or review afterwards.

Let me know how that sounds to you.

And if you have any questions,

I can't,

I'm not able.

Number three,

That's a good one.

Number three is I have to.

I have to.

Now that's usually not true either.

Because you don't have to.

Again,

You make a choice.

Let me tell you from an energetic perspective,

Why is this even relevant?

Everything is energy.

And when we say I have to,

Often it comes with an energy of pressure,

I have to negativity,

Guilt,

Shame,

I have to create underlying victim energy versus I choose to,

As very empowering.

And you can try it out,

You can even try it internally to say,

Think about something that you might not even like doing.

And you say,

I have to take the trash out.

Just as an example,

Disempowering versus empowering.

Why?

Because the truth is always empowering or generally empowering,

Even though it might be a challenge.

I have to is one of the seven that I invite you to change in your vocabulary,

To shift your energy to be more mindful,

And to consciously choose what you say,

Versus simply saying something on autopilot.

So number one,

I can't.

Number two,

I'm not able.

Number three,

I have to.

How to substitute I have to.

There are different ways to do that.

One of my favorites that I use a lot is I get to.

I get to as comes from what choice I get to do this.

Or I choose to again,

The choice one is beautifully powerful.

I choose to,

I am going to,

I will,

I hope you're taking notes,

Notes,

Notes,

Notes,

I get to I will I choose I'm going to,

Or I'm just simply doing instead of saying,

I have to take the trash out,

You say,

Hey,

I'm going to take the trash out.

I'm,

I'm taking the trash out.

I will take the trash out.

I choose to take the trash out because I don't like when it stinks in my kitchen.

It's a choice because you don't have to take it out.

You could leave it in the kitchen,

Or wherever your trash is.

And I want to use a comment here because it's super valuable.

So please leave comments because they are actually very beneficial for you but also for the community that's here.

Here's a comment I worry to hurt feelings if I don't want to say or prefer I'm not available,

The recipient may be offended,

If not on same mindset.

Yes,

I understand.

That's the work that you get to do on your end.

And there's a different way of saying that,

Like you said,

Instead of saying,

Hey,

I don't want to go out for dinner with you,

You could say,

Thank you for the offer.

I already have other plans.

Because that's the truth.

You have other plans,

Even though the plans might be just to sit on the couch and watch TV.

It's not about hurting other people.

And in my opinion,

We hurt people when we lie to them.

Whether we pretend or believe we don't want to hurt their feelings,

We just don't want to deal with the discomfort of maybe them taking it a certain way.

How they react is their business.

You are responsible for your actions.

And if you want to say it in a way that it's true,

But it's still kind,

You find a way.

So that's a really good and very,

Very,

Very common fear.

So thank you for sharing that.

Another comment many times I can't or I'm unable is because I'm working or have another commitment.

How do you handle that when you have other commitments?

Do you say that?

That's a great,

Great question.

Instead of saying,

Hey,

I can't or I'm unable,

You say,

I'm not doing it because I already doing something else.

I have another commitment.

I'm not available.

All of that is valid.

The truth is the most simple way of doing it.

And say,

Hey,

Do you want to come for lunch with that?

It's like,

No,

Instead of saying no,

I can't you say,

No,

I'm working.

Or I have another commitment.

I have other plans.

Number four,

And number five goes more or less in the same direction that I have to and can be substituted in the same way.

So number three was I have to number four is I should.

And number five,

I need to.

I should is something that especially if you say it to someone else is even worse.

You should do this is an energy that is not kind.

It's a finger pointing you should often with judgment or pressure and I need to with maybe a few exceptions generally also creates that energy of all I need to even though I don't want to pull me energy of victimhood on a subtle level.

And you can substitute them the same way.

Let me repeat real quick number one,

I can't number two,

I'm not able number three,

I have to number four,

I should number five,

I need to.

And before I share six and seven,

That's actually the one that I'm working on right now,

To be more mindful with it,

Because I also say it a lot.

That's my latest that I'm working on.

All these phrases are meant for you to change if you want to,

Obviously,

For yourself.

However,

Also be mindful to do that when you talk to other people.

How often do you say to someone,

Your children,

For example,

If you have kids,

This choose just one don't overwhelm yourself.

But you can create a family game out of this.

Teach your children,

You got to do it first yourself,

Obviously,

You can do it together,

Teach them to substitute I can't because that's I can't is disempowering.

Teach them to say it in a different way.

You also don't want to say it to other people like you have to do this or you can't do this.

You shouldn't do this.

Goes both ways.

Let me see a comment here very helpful.

The truth is the simplest answer.

Yes,

This I live by.

And it's so surprising.

So many people who come to me and also my clients when they asked me for advice many times when I tune in and I say,

Honesty is the best policy.

Now there is a skill and a way of sharing truth that is effective.

Because the question is also who is telling the truth?

Where does it come from?

And what's the energy behind it,

But that's a different topic.

But yes,

The truth is the simplest and the best way.

Number six and seven,

Number six,

And I've said it already twice,

And I caught myself and I changed it.

You might have not noticed,

But because I'm working on this particular word,

I am catching myself more and more.

And I am astonished,

Amazed,

If not shocked,

How many times we say it in our daily life.

And it's not a bad word,

By the way.

But for me as a mindful person that wants to choose wisely,

This is a word that I'm changing right now.

It's the word always.

Write it down always.

Now again,

It's about the truth.

You would be surprised how often we say it,

Oh,

I always do this or you always know it's generally not true.

And you can note for when you say it and to whom.

And often in relationship is also a little hint that's a side note that is just one piece of it.

It's an automatism,

We say always,

Very often,

So often that it blows my mind.

Sometimes when we are in arguments,

Also the inner child uses the word very often.

For example,

When you might have said before,

Or you've heard someone say,

You always interrupt me,

Or you always leave the dishes out,

Or you always whatever,

Generally,

It's not always,

It's not the truth.

And to be more mindful.

Now that's number six.

And that's one that I'm working on.

And I'm,

I'm so astonished how often I say it still.

And I'm working on that one.

Number seven,

And the last one for today,

There's more to it.

But I think seven is already quite a lot.

Number seven goes with number six is never,

Always is never true.

Never,

Usually not true either.

You never listen to me.

Not true.

It's true that I might sometimes not listen to you.

You never do this.

Or I never,

Always and never watch out for these words and play like be playful with it.

So these are the seven words.

So the seven phrases,

The seven statements,

That when you pay attention,

And you choose to work on it,

And I tell you what,

No matter how aware you are,

No matter how many you choose to change,

You will fail in the beginning,

Because we keep repeating them.

It's a conscious choice is a work in progress.

It's repetition practice.

And the best way to do that as first you commit to doing that if you choose to,

And number two,

Find someone to do it with you.

Maybe even more than one person.

What's your favorite one?

What's the number one of the seven that you feel like I want to take that one on?

Which one is it?

I will repeat the seven and I'm going to wrap this up and I would love to hear from you.

What's your biggest takeaway?

What are you taking away from this show today?

Your number one,

Your number one thing,

Or your number one statement or word.

And I will repeat them now.

I'm going to go through a few comments and then go out and practice.

And if you are in my life in some way or another outside the Soul Infused Monday show,

I will help you if you want me to,

To let you know when you use these words.

Number one is I can't.

Number two is I'm not able.

Number three is I have to.

Number four,

I should.

Number five,

I need to.

Number six is always.

And number seven is never.

And those are in accordance for you to use them for yourself,

But also for other people,

Or also your children,

Your husband,

Your business partner,

Whoever you want to do it with.

And also remember a few things.

Take a deep breath.

Everything that you want to change will take time.

Take the pressure off,

Let it be playful.

Create these new habits and ask for help.

If you are having someone that you want to share this with,

Share it with and support each other.

You will not catch yourself 90% of the time in the beginning and you will not even know because you're not catching yourself.

Play with someone,

Have a group of friends,

Change it into a mindful,

Conscious use of language versus simply just being on autopilot.

What is your number one takeaway from today?

And if you're listening into this on Spotify or Insight Timer,

Please leave me a review by at the end of the show and share with me your biggest takeaway.

Always,

Always means a lot to me.

Lynn's favorite that she wants to remove or change is I have to.

Very good one.

Very good one.

Kathy,

I do make generalizations like always and never I need this one too.

I need maybe you want to better.

Debbie's one is I should,

Should,

Should is a good one.

Lynn's takeaway language is so important to pay attention.

Yes,

Great takeaway.

Tina's one is I need to,

Is a good one.

Biggest takeaway,

The truth in a tactful way,

Of course,

Is best.

Yes,

Great takeaway.

Here's what I invite you to do.

Practice and share this,

What you've learned today,

At least with one person.

Share it at least with one person.

What you've learned today,

Your biggest takeaway and pay it forward so that you have a ripple effect and you will have more fun and more success because you are not going to do it alone.

Share it with one think of one person right now.

Maybe it's your child.

Maybe it's your best friend.

Maybe it's your spouse,

Or a colleague at work,

Or one of your clients.

Think of one person right now that you want to share this information from today and you keep it rolling.

Thank you so much for being here today.

Come back next Monday to another episode of Soul Infused Monday.

Have a fantastic week.

Enjoy this mindfulness game.

Enjoy improving your language and have patience because it will take some time.

Sending you much love and have a wonderful rest of your day.

Reviews

Bring focus to what you’re thinking about saying and helps you kindly speak your truth

All of them resonated with me plus adding should in. Should is a big one for me! Thank you!

Fantastic- thank you! I will be putting this into practice starting today. 🙏🏼💚