Taking Up Space Without Apology

This meditation is for the reflex to shrink, to apologize before anyone has asked you to, to make yourself smaller so a room feels easier for everyone else. Using expansive rib cage breathing, this practice helps you feel, physically, what it is like to take up exactly the space you are allowed to take, without needing to explain or cushion it first. You are allowed to exist in a room without shrinking. You are allowed to state a preference plainly, without three apologies wrapped around it. A grounding meditation for people-pleasing, chronic over-apologizing, and the quiet exhaustion of making everyone else comfortable at your own expense. This practice pairs well with situations like sending a work email, setting a boundary, or speaking up in a group, any moment where the old habit of shrinking tends to kick in first.

Transcript

Find a position. Where your body can take up. Exactly as much room as it needs. Let your eyes close. Or soften your gaze. Take one breath. And let it be a little bigger than usual. Notice. If you can. The Last Sorry. That left your mouth today. Even for something that didn't need one. Just notice it. No need to apologize for that too. Bring your hands to your ribs. One on each side. Breathe in through the nose. In this time. Breathe into your hands. Feel the ribs actually expand outward. And out through the mouth. Slow. Six counts. One more. Feeling the ribs widen under your hands. And easy. That widening. That's what taking up space actually feels like in the body. Not loud. Not much. Just press it. Let your shoulders roll back slightly. Just enough to notice the difference. You are allowed to exist in a room without shrinking to make it easier for someone else. You are allowed to have a preference and say it plainly. Without cushioning it in. Three apologies first. Let your hands rest. Let your breath. Continue at its own natural width. The next apology. That wants to come out of habit. You now have a breath to check first. Does this actually need one? Or was that just. . . The Old Reflex.