I am a perfectionist,
But I am also a creative,
And so I face a constant battle in my mind,
Unable to align my ideas with my desired outcomes.
Nothing I do is enough.
Always striving for something above my current condition,
I have so much ambition yet I can't seem to take action.
My brain is on a mission to reach the impossible.
It's never as good on paper as it is in my head.
Flawless expectations leave me wanting more.
Everything I create becomes an eyesore.
What more can I ask for?
I wish I could start over and start over and start over.
I'm a controller.
Perfectionism feels like an itch.
You can't ignore it or turn it off like some switch.
It takes over.
It's a burden.
Hours and hours wasted,
Frustrated by my own self-hatred.
I hit delete until there's nothing left to contemplate.
It's simply a clean slate.
Nothing to dissect.
I am rarely impressed or proud with what I have done.
I'm only stressed about what comes next,
On to the next level of success,
And never looking back saying,
Look how far I've come.
If old me were told what goals we've achieved,
She wouldn't believe it.
If I could only stop and let myself breathe,
Maybe my mind would be a little more at ease.
Although I know I'm impossible to please,
It's important not to let your creativity be shortened by our brain's need to sustain perfection.
Not everything needs to be corrected.
So stop inspecting every inch of your life.
Perfection is a product of our own self-deception.
No matter the obsession,
I have learned to let go and to love a little disruption.
So focus on your present intentions and love your creations.
