Good morning,
Y'all.
This is a different kind of episode.
This is a rampage.
It's kind of like an active meditation.
A mental unsticking,
If you will.
This is our rampage for getting through a storm.
I am here.
I am now.
I can feel my feet.
I am supported by what is underneath of me.
There will always be something to catch me when I fall or when I'm knocked down.
Even if I hurt myself,
Skin my knee,
Twist my ankle,
There is always something there to stop me from falling further.
My skin will heal.
My ankle will recover.
I've been hurt before.
I've been down.
But after time,
I've gotten back up.
There is no right way to do this.
I am going through this the right way for me.
I am doing what I need to do to keep myself safe and strong and secure.
But I am also taking small steps to be brave.
I am kind and I am sensitive.
And when I look around,
I can find the beauty in a rainy day.
I look for the helpers.
I am a helper.
Even when it's hard,
I look for ways to help,
To show kindness to others,
To animals,
To the earth.
I can hold doors for people.
I can smile at someone at the store.
I can let someone have a parking spot.
I am kind.
I know when I show kindness,
That kindness will go on and double and triple out into the world.
It has exponential possibility.
Sometimes I need a break.
I need to hide.
I need to close my eyes to the outside world because it looks like too much pain.
I feel so small inside of it all.
I feel powerless to do anything to make any difference in the world.
It feels like it is all coming down around me.
I don't know how to go through the motions.
But I can wash my face.
I can take a deep breath.
I can hold my coffee in my hands and I can center myself to take the next step forward.
I send funny messages to my friends.
I can call someone I love.
I share a delicious meal with someone.
There is goodness here.
I am connected to a web of people and we are supporting each other as we all contend with difficult thoughts and situations.
I wake up again.
I wake up unsure.
But I know I am here.
I know I am.
I know I am brave.
I know I am brave for continuing to show up and look outside of myself to see the disparity even if I'm unsure of what to do.
I think of my future self and she is brave.
Bravery is just a flexed muscle that has been trained and worked over time.
She is brave because of the small scared steps I have taken.
I can take a small brave step today.
I'm not sure what it will do,
How it will ripple out,
But that isn't the point.
The point is that I was brave enough to do something,
To try something.
It is easy to try something,
To try one thing,
To take the first step,
To get practice in that first thing.
I am here and I am here now.
I can take a second step because I have protected myself.
I have rested.
I have seen the small goodnesses that I bring to the world.
I did the first brave thing and now I know even with a scared heart I can do the second scary thing.
I may not be able to see how far this goes or where the end result is,
But I know when I take action with an open and loving heart with the best of intentions that will do good beyond my own four walls.
I am here.
I am here now.
I feel my feet.
I feel my feet and I know that I am supported by what is underneath of me and the foundation I am building for myself and anyone else that is brave enough to build this foundation with me.
I am here.
I am here now.
