How To Preserve Our Inner Peace And Calm In Daily Life

In this podcast, David responds to a question that came through our group about how to preserve the calm and peace we find over the holidays when normal life starts again. Responding in the context of The Five Obscurations, which obscure our natural peace and clarity of mind, David stresses the importance of keeping a watchful eye over our mind at every moment and averting afflictions as they arise.

Transcript

This week I'd like to respond to a suggestion that came through our Facebook group and it was around how we can preserve the calm and peace that we find during a holiday,

A Christmas break or a retreat when normal life starts again.

And I think this is a really wonderful question,

Something very worthwhile contemplating because we've all had that experience of taking some time for ourselves,

Taking some time to just be quiet away from the usual hustle and bustle.

It can be very relaxing,

Very soothing.

Without all of the daily trials and tribulations we normally have,

We're able to just be with our innate sense of peace and calm more,

Of less to do,

And so our mind is naturally more relaxed because there's less grasping,

Less aversion.

So our mind is naturally peaceful,

Naturally luminous.

And that's its true nature underneath all of the turbulence.

Its nature is peace,

Its nature is luminosity.

So when we release some of these activities for a while,

We find that that peace and luminosity comes to the forefront.

So we might start to think,

Well,

Ordinary life is the problem.

You know,

I'm nice and peaceful when I don't have to go to work or deal with this or deal with that.

I should just stay on holiday forever.

And it's a nice thought.

But for most of us,

Of course,

It's not practical.

We have commitments,

Families,

Jobs and so on.

Even if we did retreat to a cave,

As the old saying goes,

It won't be long before we start preferring one side of the cave to another,

One type of birdsong to another.

And then we might think that instead of a cave,

Maybe we should have a cabin with a nice view.

And then this cabin will need indoor plumbing and then maybe heating.

So we'll need some money to pay for all this.

And then the cycle continues because the line settles for a while and then it wants more.

So while it certainly feels like getting rid of our external problems will bring lasting peace and happiness,

We start to see that as long as we have a restless mind,

We'll experience restlessness.

So what causes,

What disturbs our mental calm and peace when normal life starts again?

What is prevalent during our usual day to day life that isn't there when we're on holiday?

One thing,

Of course,

We can say yes,

There are more triggers.

There are more external triggers for an unhappy mind.

But as we know,

Trying to solve triggers all our life and all of our triggers is just a never-ending task.

We've been there,

We've done that our whole life up until now.

So we can't always remove the triggers.

But what arises alongside these triggers?

What comes with these extra things we need to do,

The extra things we need to remember,

Organize,

Handle,

Overcome?

So with an increase in activity comes an increase in our mental afflictions.

In particular,

Attachment,

This way of craving,

Of wanting,

And our aversion,

Our way of pushing and rejecting.

Now in Buddhism,

When we look at achieving deeper levels of peace and calm through meditation,

We see that there are certain hindrances to our doing so.

And they're called the five obscurations.

And they're called obscurations because they obscure this blissful,

Luminous,

Non-conceptual,

Peaceful nature of our own minds.

And I think it's particularly relevant to what happens when we come out of a holiday or a retreat and back into normal life.

It's not that while we're on holiday or retreat we overcome these five obscurations.

It's just that they have less to shout about.

So these five obscurations are sensual desire,

Ill will,

Laxity and dullness,

Excitation and anxiety,

And debilitating doubt.

So let's explore them one by one.

So sensual desire.

So let's say we get back into our usual routine,

We're doing less enjoyable things,

More things we have to.

And so we start to feel a lack of enjoyment,

A lack of happiness inside.

So there's a sort of lack on our side.

And so we think I've got no happiness.

Who is going to make me happy?

What's going to make me happy?

Where shall I move?

What kind of job shall I get?

What kind of entertainment shall I go and find?

What friends can I spend time with?

And clearly this way of reaching out is going to obscure what we already have.

Because we're looking in exactly the opposite direction.

So what we need to do instead is unveil the natural peace and bliss of the mind.

Instead of going,

You know,

Forget these veils,

I can fix this,

I can fix that.

I just need somebody,

You know,

I need better food,

I need a better place to live,

A nicer car and so on.

That will do it.

So,

But it's broader than that.

It is fixation with the material world as a whole.

Money,

Power,

Status,

You know,

Wealth and everything that wealth can purchase.

Power and everything you can do with power.

And status,

Everything you can do with status.

And you can see that this brings so much turbulence.

And you can see that that obscures and robs you of your peace and calm.

Because it's in the opposite direction.

So that's the first one.

Then the second we have ill will.

So we start to experience and see people and things that we don't care for.

And we think negatively about them.

They make promises they don't keep.

They're disrespectful.

People are irritating.

They're this and they're that.

And we exaggerate and we tell stories to ourselves and our perception becomes rigid and clouded.

And so this too obscures the peace and calm we have in our mind.

We have balance,

We have peace.

Then we see something that we have a distaste for.

Our mind gets exaggerated.

We feel upset with them and then comes ill will.

Then comes anger,

Hatred,

Malice.

And they completely destroy that peace of mind.

The third is laxity and dullness.

And so a mind that's out of balance is vulnerable to laxity and dullness.

When our mind is not very well taken care of,

When it's not refined and rested.

Then it's prone to poor attention.

So this is the experience of mental tiredness,

Mental fogginess.

Our mind isn't very clear.

Our mind isn't very focused.

And so everything just appears a bit dull and a bit boring.

And so remember what makes things boring is subjective not objective.

A movie,

Time with friends,

Even spending time meditating,

Watching our breath.

These are interesting or boring depending on the mind that you bring to it.

So we have a lax or a dull mind and that obscures our experience of peace and calm.

And it leads us also to sensual desire.

It leads us to looking outside of ourself to fill that hole,

To fill that boredom.

The other side of the coin there is the fourth obscuration and that's excitation and anxiety.

So this is the experience of a mind that is completely caught up in rumination,

Distraction,

Agitation,

Anxiety,

Guilt and so on.

Here your experience is very much just all on the surface.

You're stuck in the thinking mind.

It's fast,

It's rapid,

It's exhausting.

So in the same way,

This is a mind that is not well taken care of,

Not refined,

Not rested.

And so it is prone to restlessness.

And it's easy to see how this also obscures our experience of peace and calm.

And the final one is debilitating doubt or afflictive uncertainty.

And this is an unsure mind,

Doubtful mind about what you're doing,

Why you're doing it.

So it could be the thought,

You know,

Sometimes I think I should quit my job,

It's not right for me.

But then again,

It pays me well and I'm good at it,

So I should keep my job.

Or I'm doing good at this meditation thing,

But then not really,

I'm not making much progress.

Why am I actually doing it?

Is my method wrong?

Is my teacher wrong?

No,

It's good for me.

No,

I enjoy it.

So the thing about this afflictive uncertainty is that it just doesn't let us rest.

It's up,

It's down.

And so of course,

It's easy to see as well how that obscures our natural peace and clarity of mind.

It pulls us back up to the surface of the thinking mind,

Up to the turbulent waves and away from the depths of calm.

So now we've identified some targets,

Some things to be aware of,

Some things that rob us of our peace of mind,

Our peace and calm.

So what do we do to maintain that peace of mind that we cultivate,

Whether it's in meditation,

In retreat or in holiday?

And I think it's twofold.

Firstly,

We've got to have a strong commitment to want to maintain our peace of mind.

We've got to have the aspiration.

We've got to have the motivation.

If we don't,

If we're just happy to let the mind off the leash and let whatever happens,

Whatever experience of anger or jealousy happen,

Then that's what's going to happen and we're not going to be able to control the mind or maintain any peace of mind.

So we need a strong resolve.

Why do I want to maintain my peace of mind?

The confidence that I can maintain my peace of mind and the determination that I am going to maintain my peace of mind.

And then the second part that will naturally come from that is mindfulness and not mindfulness as in a sit down 10 minute practice,

But mindfulness as in bearing in mind,

Being aware,

Being alert,

Being watchful.

So you start your day,

You're determined to be the happy,

Peaceful,

Calm person you truly are.

And as the events of the day unfold,

You keep close guard of your mind like a guard watching the entrance to a castle.

And you notice when signs of these five obscurations arise,

You notice as a desire comes up,

You notice when the mind gets busy or restless,

Unsure,

You notice when the mind gets dull.

And as they arise,

We avert those afflictions.

So when ill will arises,

Perhaps we practice patience,

Loving kindness,

Compassion.

When sensual desire arises,

We practice contentment,

Gratitude.

If our mind is dull or restless,

We ground ourselves,

Bring our mind back into focus,

Back into clarity.

So it's our job,

It's our job to keep a watchful eye on our mind and take action.

And this is training and it takes time in the beginning and it does take a lot of effort and a lot of mindfulness,

A lot of awareness.

And there will be times when it's difficult.

But this is the meaning of Lojong,

Mind training.

This is the meaning of transforming our mind from positive to negative.

This is how we do it by keeping a watchful eye on the mind and averting any afflictions as they arise.

This is how we abandon negative states and cultivate positive ones by changing these habits of mind,

Actively being there,

Changing,

Being aware.

And of course,

Daily meditation practice is going to be of immeasurable value here.

We need to actually have familiarity with our mind when it is calm and peaceful,

When it is rested and healthy in order to keep coming back to it.

Reviews

Wonderful explanation. Will you develop a course on the five obscurations and practices to work with them? I hope so . 🙏

David provides excellent examples of the common human tendency to sabotage our own happiness, and explains how to change our mindset for a peaceful life.

I appreciate hearing this short talk it is helpful for me.

Very insightful & educational. A wee gem to stumble upon. Many thanks 🙏🏻💝