Welcome to the mindfulness meditation podcast presented by the Rubin Museum of Art.
We are a museum in Chelsea,
New York City that connects visitors to the art and ideas of the Himalayas and serves as a space for reflection and personal transformation.
I'm your host,
Dawn Eshelman.
Every Monday we present a meditation session inspired by a different artwork from the Rubin Museum's collection and led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area.
This podcast is a recording of our weekly practice currently held virtually.
In the description for each episode,
You will find information about the theme for that week's session,
Including an image of the related artwork.
Our mindfulness meditation podcast is presented in partnership with Sharon Salzberg and teachers from the New York Insight Meditation Center,
The Interdependence Project,
And Parabola Magazine.
And now,
Please enjoy your practice.
Hi everybody.
Welcome to mindfulness meditation online.
My name is Dawn Eshelman and thank you for joining us here with the Rubin Museum for our weekly practice where we combine art,
A work of art from our collection,
With a meditation practice.
And it's great to be here with you during this week that encompasses so many holidays around the world.
And the last night of Hanukkah just occurred on Friday,
I believe,
And Christmas is coming up and Kwanzaa and the New Year.
And today is the winter solstice.
So it's interesting to think about our theme this month,
Which is generosity during this time because the winter and the winter solstice and what it represents really brings to mind the sense of the darkest time and what has traditionally been a time of survival and kind of hunkering down and making sure you have what you need.
And there can be a kind of scarcity mentality with that or just a very real sense of needing to focus on survival,
Especially,
You know,
I'm thinking of pre-modern times and just how this holiday,
The solstice,
Really meant,
Brought to mind for many of the sense of faith that light will return.
And so to think of generosity amidst all of that is really interesting to me and reminds me that generosity is not only an important element,
You know,
For community,
But also can help one feel more empowered and remember all that they have.
So today we are looking at a beautiful work of art that is Avalokiteshvara.
I think,
You know,
If you think about the Rubens collection of Himalayan art,
Avalokiteshvara would probably be one of the first figures to come to mind when we're talking about this idea of generosity and benevolence and compassion because Avalokiteshvara is the bodhisattva who personifies compassion of all of the Buddhas.
And here we are seeing him depicted in this sculpture,
Copper alloy,
From 12th century Tibet.
And he's seated in the posture of royal ease with one leg and folded underneath and one kind of stepping out ready to jump to assist you should you need it.
And he holds the stem of a lotus bud.
And of course we know that lotuses represent awakening and the potential that all of us have.
He has these beautiful subtle inlaid eyes and this tuft of hair right between his eyes of urna and a very sweet and subtle smile here.
And he's just reminding us of the ease that comes with this idea of compassion,
Of generosity.
So we will hear a little bit more about that idea from our teacher today,
The wonderful Rebecca Lee.
Dr.
Rebecca Lee is a Dharma heir in the lineage of Chan Master Sheng Yan.
She started practicing meditation in 1995 and began her teacher training with Master Sheng Yan in 99 and went on to become a Dharma and meditation teacher and trained with Simon Child and leads wonderful retreats and teachings.
She currently also is the founder and guiding teacher of the Chan Dharma community and is a sociology professor at the College of New Jersey where she serves as a faculty director of the Allen Dye Center for the Study of Social Justice.
And Rebecca tells me that she and her students are publishing a book together,
I believe,
Which will come out in January.
So please join me in welcoming Rebecca Lee.
Rebecca,
There you are.
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome everyone and happy winter solstice.
I really appreciate being able to talk about and practice with generosity at this time of the year.
What a wonderful theme that you have chosen for this month.
And we really need it,
Especially with this different holiday season.
Many of us are staying home instead of being able to join our family and friends that we usually would do during this time.
And so it is particularly important for us to engage in the practice that we'll be able to generate some joy.
And the practice of generosity,
Of giving,
It's joyful.
And some of you may have been able to experience that a little bit.
It's really helpful way to cheer up ourselves when we try to kind of like think about what someone would like,
And we go look for it.
Some of us may be shopping online a lot,
And the process of looking for something that with the idea of bringing happiness to others,
That process really brings cheer and joy to our hearts.
And of course,
When we bring something to someone,
Sending a gift that they enjoy,
Or just letting them know that we are thinking of them,
That in itself cheer them up.
So the whole act of giving and generosity is a very joyful practice.
And of course,
In the holiday season here,
We often think about giving in terms of a gift,
You know,
What we can purchase.
But of course,
We can also think about generosity in terms of giving,
Being generous with our time,
With our attention.
So many of us may be spending this holiday season at home with our immediate family,
Or maybe some of us live alone.
And so we can be thinking of people in our lives,
Maybe family members,
Maybe friends,
And take some time to reach out to them by telephone or by email.
So just letting them know that we are thinking of them.
That is also a form of generosity of our attention of our time.
So the practice of generosity,
Some of you might know that,
Might have heard that it is a one of the parameters,
One of the perfections.
And when we call that generosity is a one of the parameters,
We referring to generosity being a practice to help us let go of self-centered attachments that cause our self suffering.
And also very often when we are suffering,
We also cause suffering for other people,
Bring harms to other people.
One of the very important principles in the practice of generosity as a parameter is to give without any expectation.
Just give without expecting anything back.
So let's take a look at why that is important,
Why that's the principle.
So you might be familiar with giving with expectation.
And when we give with expectation,
Giving gift or giving attention,
Giving time,
Whenever we give with expectation of receiving something back,
Then inevitably,
We will end up experiencing suffering.
So what happens is that whatever we're expecting to receive back,
In whatever form it is,
When they are not met,
And very often they are not met in exactly the way,
The form that we are expecting.
So there will be disappointment.
Or sometimes if we're deeply disappointed,
We might feel quite bitter about the whole situation.
So instead of the whole experience of giving and generosity being a joyful thing,
We can actually end up with a great deal of suffering.
So some of you might have experienced this,
Right?
So that you might have tried to put a lot of thought into finding a really good gift for a loved one,
Maybe for our partner.
And while doing that,
You might be expecting the same being done by this person.
And maybe like,
Well,
You got a gift card from this person and you just can't help but feel very let down or disappointed.
So these are the moments we realize that we are expecting some kind of reciprocity,
Not exactly receiving the same value of gifts,
Perhaps,
But we are expecting to be reciprocated.
Now,
Of course,
There is nothing wrong with expecting reciprocity.
But what we need to be clear about is that what we are engaging in is some form of gift exchange,
Because we do expect something back.
And that is not really regenerosity,
Because it's giving with expectation.
So when we think about this,
Generosity actually can be harder than we think.
So it's not just about any form of giving.
And in fact,
It involves our understanding of how,
When we give,
We may inadvertently be causing ourselves suffering.
And to recognize the habits of our mind,
The kind of habitual thoughts,
We call expectations here in a general way,
And how they cause ourselves suffering.
And by recognizing that in part of our practice of generosity,
We can unlearn these unhelpful habits that cause ourselves suffering when we engage in giving.
So some of you may think that,
Oh,
You know,
Like,
I don't expect anything when I give.
And that's very often why we love and enjoy and focus our gift giving on children,
Like some of you might be grandparents or maybe aunts and uncles,
And you give gifts to children.
And so you know,
Like,
I don't expect anything.
Of course,
We don't expect children to reciprocate,
We just give,
They don't give a gift to us.
So we may think that we are giving without expectation,
But like to invite you to think again.
So you might know someone because I do know someone who just love to shop for gifts for her grandchildren.
But every time she can't help but feel quite bitterly disappointed.
After watching her grandkids open all the presents,
And kind of just put them on top of a giant pile of toys that they already have.
Some of you may maybe relate to that one way or the other.
Have you had that experience?
That is the kind of giving that is not really filled with joy,
But results in some form of suffering.
Now,
You didn't expect these children to reciprocate gift to you.
So what's going on?
So you may not be expecting reciprocation in kind,
But there's still expectation on there,
Right?
You may expect them to really love what you gave them,
Maybe to make them make it into their favorite toy,
Maybe their favorite sweater,
Or maybe their favorite book,
You're giving them a beautiful book.
And you may expect them to be super happy,
Very excited to get your gift,
You know,
Kind of having that image of those kids on TV commercials,
You know,
That to get us to want to buy that as gifts for some kids.
And we may expect them to be really appreciative,
Right?
To just like enthusiastically vocalizing their thank yous and hugs and kisses.
These are expectations we have.
Are we aware of these subtle forms of expectations?
Expectations of how people would react,
Respond to our giving.
It may be a gift,
But also sometimes it may be our giving with our time or attention.
If not,
If we're not aware of it,
Then we may allow giving to become another way of generating suffering for ourselves and others.
So we generate suffering for ourselves when we are disappointed at the perhaps inadequate appreciation being expressed by the other person.
And we can also generate suffering for others if we are not aware of these expectations.
We have these more subtle forms of expectation.
When our expectation of their reacting in a certain way,
For example,
Expecting them to really love our gift or make it their favorite toy,
Really can cause anxiety or generate some kind of pressure on the people we profess to love.
That's why we put so much thought into giving them these gifts.
Because they might be worried that,
Did I express enough of appreciation?
Did I say I love it enough or enthusiastically enough if they worry about it?
So the meditative practice that we engage in allows us to settle our mind and cultivate this clear awareness of these subtle thoughts and feelings that I've been calling various forms of expectation.
That arise in our mind.
They arise without our noticing them very often,
But meditative practice allows us to become a little bit more clear of their existence.
And when we notice these expectations,
Even though they are really subtle,
We watch them arising so that these thoughts and feelings do not take over our mind without our knowing and obscure the joy that we can experience in giving.
So when we notice these expectations,
Actually which are quite normal,
So there is not that something's wrong with us that we have these expectations arising,
But we can use that as an opportunity to practice,
Practice remembering that the event,
What we call giving,
Is co-created by the presence of the recipients and the giver.
So in this event,
You are the one who is giving,
But without someone to receive,
Then there will be no giving at all.
So without someone in our life who can receive our attention or a gift,
We won't have the opportunity to experience the joy of giving.
And every year around this time,
This holiday season,
One thing I really enjoy doing is to write holiday cards,
I'm one of those small minority that still hand write my holiday cards.
I love the process of buying a set of beautiful holiday cards and sitting down and writing them,
Writing my friends and family and putting them in the mail,
Putting beautiful stems on it.
And it's like a lovely holiday ritual that I enjoy,
That's part of celebrating the holidays.
And I can't help but be grateful that there are these people in my life that I can write and send these cards to.
So part of our practice in cultivating generosity is to remember that the existence of these people in our lives to whom we can give is a blessing.
Just their being there is a blessing.
We don't need to expect anything else from them.
Also that we have something to give,
Right?
For example,
We have resources that allow us to purchase gifts,
Are we alive,
Well enough to give time,
To give attention to someone,
Itself,
It's a blessing.
So when we can recognize this,
Then we will allow us to connect with the joy of giving,
Joy of generosity.
And meditative practices allow us to settle our mind,
To cultivate this clarity that allow us to recognize the unhelpful habits that cause suffering,
These sort of subtle thoughts of expectation that we didn't know get in the way of our yielding joy from generosity.
And when we recognize them,
We know we can unlearn them and not perpetuate them.
And cultivating a clear mind also allows us to remember what a blessing it is to be here,
To share ourselves with each other.
So for example,
Right now,
Without your being here,
We won't have the gift,
The opportunity to touch the joy of practicing together today.
So I'd like to invite you to settle into your posture,
Maybe in your chair,
If you're on a meditation cushion,
To set the body up in a comfortable posture and stable,
Conducive to relaxation of the body.
And when the body is relaxed,
The mind can be relaxed.
Can I take you through a guided meditation,
Feel the relaxation at the top of the head,
Directly experience the subtle sensations of the crown relaxing as we allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread to the forehead.
Check to see if we're holding tension in this area by habit and allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
Feel the relaxation spread to the eyeballs and eye muscles.
We hold a lot of tension in this area with all the analyzing,
Judging,
Comparing,
Planning in our daily life,
Right here,
Right now.
There's no need to do that.
You can give these muscles a vacation and allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread to the facial muscles.
Check to see if we're holding tension in some part of our face by habit,
Perhaps to hold a certain facial expression for the world to see.
Right here,
Right now,
There is no need to do that.
We can give these muscles a vacation and allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread to the entire head.
Feel the relaxation spread down the neck muscles.
Directly experience these muscles softening like melting butter.
As we allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread down to the shoulders.
And down the arms,
The forearms,
And all the way to the fingertips.
And feel the relaxation spread to the chest area,
Check to see if we are holding tension in this area by habit.
Maybe from anxiety,
Worry,
Or sadness,
Grief.
Right here,
Right now,
We can give them a rest and allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread down the torso to the lower abdomen.
We hold a lot of tension in these lower abdominal muscles in our daily life.
Trust,
Trust that the skeletal structure can hold up the body.
And these muscles don't need to work so hard.
We can give them a vacation too.
And allow,
Allow the tension to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread to the upper back,
The muscles between the shoulder blades,
The hips.
Trusting that the skeletal structure can hold up the body.
We allow,
Allow the tension we hold in these muscles to melt away.
And feel the relaxation spread down the back to the lower back,
All the way down to the buttocks where we feel the sensations of the body sitting on our chair or cushion.
And feel the relaxation spread down the thighs.
And all the way down the legs to the toes.
Feel the relaxation of the entire body sitting right here,
Right now.
Moment after moment,
Stay with the body sitting right here,
Right now.
And you notice the subtle changing sensations as the body breathes.
And stay with this changing sensations moment after moment as the body breathes.
And rest your mind on this changing sensations to allow your breathing to anchor you gently to the emerging present moment.
And if you notice the mind drifting off,
Thinking about work or what's going to happen later,
What happened yesterday,
No problem.
When you notice that,
All you need to do is to reconnect with the sensations of the body sitting right here,
Right now.
And reconnect with the subtle changing sensations of the body breathing.
It doesn't matter how often or how long the mind drifts off,
As long as you eventually find your way back,
Come back to reconnect with this emerging present moment.
Where you are,
You're practicing well.
And with this settled body and mind,
You'll be able to see thoughts that come through.
You notice them,
Allow them,
Because they're already here.
Allow them to be seen and heard fully.
And when it's time for them to move on,
Allow them to move on.
There's no need to block out or chase anything away.
In this way,
We cultivate this clear awareness of the goings-on in the mind and our habitual thoughts to afford ourselves an opportunity to unlearn them,
To be freed from them.
And maintain this clear awareness as we transition from stillness to motion,
So that we can take the stability and clarity of mind from sitting meditation into our life,
Lived in motion.
Thank you,
Rebecca.
Take good care.
Have a solstice.
You too.
You too,
Dawn.
Bye.
Bye.
That concludes this week's practice.
If you would like to support The Rubin and this meditation series,
We invite you to become a member of The Rubin.
Thank you for listening.
Have a mindful day.
