Dear Diary: Spiritual Journaling

Dear Diary! Journals aren't just archives of our junior high crushes. They're also amazing tools for self-reflection, spiritual connection, anxiety relief, and tracking personal growth over time. We share our experiences with journaling over the years and practical ways to use journals on your spiritual journey. BONUS! We share journaling techniques from our very special listeners who wrote in with their favorite ways to journal. Join us on this special episode! We love ya. xoxo 

Transcript

You've arrived at Pretty Spiritual podcast where we examine everyday life and attempt to make it spiritual. We share personal stories and practical tools to connect and grow. Come on in. Hello, Friends. Hey. Hi, Everyone. Welcome back to another episode of season two Pretty Spiritual. And by season two, I mean there are two of us here. I'm Lindsay Poney, And I'm sitting next to the marvelous Annie. Hello. Oh, Yay. I'm so excited to be here today where our episode is Dear Diary. Ooh. Yes. Ooh. Can you believe it? All those years of writing in a diary and now to know that journaling is one of the greatest tools of all time. It was not just teenage angst. It wasn't. And it isn't just adult angst now either. Or is it? Or is it? Let's find out. Ooh. So I named this Dear Diary because, Of course, As a seven-year-old, This wasn't my journal. It was my diary. A place for me to get out all my secret feelings, Fears, Daily happenings, And grievances. It's awesome that I was already doing this at a young age because I think I wouldn't understand how useful this tool is. Is it a diary or is it a time capsule of your innermost self with truth and insight about your inner world ready for you to compare and observe that will readily give you tips about today? I didn't know we were so smart back then. We really were prepared for the future. Seriously, It was kind of like an inner thing for me that I didn't realize. My, Just my- Yeah. When I was in elementary school, My diary had a little baby lock on it that was- Yeah. That was so strong. Anyone could get in there that wanted to. I'm sure my teenage sister could have gotten in there if she had cared enough. Isn't it so? I love that so much. That's right. So now we're going to use that tiny little key and put it in the tiny little lock and just ever so gently, Not to break it, We're going to open it up. Then we could see our innermost thoughts play out again and again and again, Teaching us about habits and patterns. All right, So let's get into it. Journaling, The ultimate tool of insight. Oh, I love that. Okay, Thank you. Tell me all about it, Annie. Well, I love the name that you picked for this episode, Dear Diary. It's so great. We knew we were going to do an episode on journaling because we both do it a lot and it's such a great tool, But the name Dear Diary just evokes all that. Information of drama and angst and feelings, So it made me really happy when you picked the title. I have had a journal definitely since junior high, Pretty sure since elementary school and I'm 42 now, So that's a lot of ink and paper and feelings on record over the decades. So much great information. So much great information. I have kept a lot of my journals, Especially from the last 15 years. I think there's a box of them somewhere buried at my parents' house in the garage, But the more recent years, And by that I mean the last 15 years, I actually have with me in my house currently, Well, Also in the garage. Like you were saying, Pony, Journaling for me has really been an outlet for most of my private thinking, My fantasies, My fears, My dreams, My journey. My journals really track my personal journey from my party-centered, Self-absorbed life to the sober life that I have that is attempting to be centered around service and a spiritual journey. Last night in preparation for this episode, Went and read through a decade and a half of journals, Just kind of flipped through them back to 2002. Ooh. And it was so interesting to see the things that I wrote about and where my brain was at and a lot of it was a little uncomfortable. So just ignore that pit in my stomach. So as far as looking back, I remember when I was younger, I was so scared to be vulnerable. And that's something that's been part of this spiritual journey for me is just trusting and opening up and letting people see me. But even when I was 12 or 13, I would write my crushes in code in my journal. Because I was like, Someone, Someone who knows who is going to come and find out and like spill my secret and I'll be rejected and humiliated. You know, It was just this like very, So fearful. Yeah, Cut to 20 something years later and I can't read the code that I wrote. So I'm like, What was I talking about? If only I knew. Oh my God. It must be important. So I have journaled when I have been far too intoxicated to write. This was not during junior high. Or was it? And it's just this scrawl and it's so sad to look at, You know, The words just blurbed up across the page. And so my journals originally served as just a place to get all the thinking out of my overactive brain because I didn't have any spiritual tools or really like emotional regulation tools. So it's like my brain, If it got caught in an idea would just run with it. And I didn't have any internal boundaries for my thinking. And a journal kind of served as at least one outlet to just dump all the stuff out of there. And I mean, Not all of it was bad. It was excitement. It was whatever. But I didn't have a lot of places to process things personally. Then for a lot of years it was me worrying about my own self-imposed crises. And in the last nine years it really has grown to be a place for me to reflect. And sometimes I use it as a tool to communicate with my higher power, To write out my intentions for the day, To make a schedule for that day. Aside from preparing for this episode, I rarely reread my journals. It's like they're the past as soon as they come out of my pen. And it just is an outlet almost. You know, When I had mentioned I reread some journals back to 2002, I had thought that I would share some snippets on this episode. But reading them, There wasn't anything that stuck out. And more than anything, I just wanted to share that they made me a little sad, You know, Especially during that really untethered, Intoxicated part of my life. And they made me really, Really grateful to have the opportunities that I have now to be this present in my life and to grow. So like you were saying, It's a place where I can really see how much change I have made in my life. So that's my thoughts about journals. And then I have a lot of really fun tools for people to experiment with as far as journaling techniques. What about you, Pony? What's tell me about your journal journey? Ooh, I love that. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Annie. You definitely touched on some stuff that I wasn't going to share about first of all. So I'm glad you did that part. Just know, Yes, And for me. Same. Check, Check, Check. And also, I love how you talked about, You know, These things being in the basement or wherever we have kept them. And my journey with the journals started really young. That's like we talked about. And then I've carried around this bag of journals from the past 15 years. And the journey with that has looked like it was like, Spooky, Haunting bag that I kept in the shed in a Rubbermaid that like, I would like, You know, Anytime I went out there to get something. And even that started to tell me a lot about what was going on even in those journals in that bag in the shed, Wherever it is, There was so much rich information for me. It was so nice that I waited. You know, I moved it into my closet. You know, Maybe years later, I invited it in. I did. And then I was under my bed. Oh, Yeah. So it was kind of getting closer. And then finally, I was brave enough to start to go and look through them. Wow. You know, It just like you said, Of course, It's cringy. Of course, It's like, How could I not see what there's pain there's, It's such a wild ride. You know, Also, Isn't that what growth like really is? You know, It's right there. For the taking, Of course, You're gonna have to feel all the feelings and look at a lot of things about yourself that like, Well, You know, It's why it's in the basement or wherever it is, You know. So that's why this really is such an invitation. Why I wanted to do this. It was really, It's really sweet when, Because certain people journal and certain people don't so it was so sweet when we were talking about it and just knowing that this could be a sweet fun episode where we could talk about in ways that this helps us whether it's you write it and get it out. It's like a discharging of emotions and memories and then it's gone. For me, I had to read it quarterly, At least. Wow. Yeah, It's so powerful because what happens for me is that the characters change, But this the scenario is pretty much the same. And when you talked about like self-imposed conflicts, After years and years of it, It gets really in depth and there's a lot of a lot to point in different directions that I couldn't or didn't want to or it was too much to kind of look at and see. Again, With the repetition and practice, I've found I need that to see, Hear, Feel this information over and over again before I'm actually even able to use it. So going back and reading it is very helpful. I'm also in therapy weekly and my therapy journals are like, Oh my God, I especially go back and read those just to see what I was thinking, Doing, Feeling, What tools I was learning last week. And it's just it's miraculous to have that kind of information from only a week ago. I couldn't believe what was there last week. They're so valuable to me. This information about myself, A book about me with my innermost secrets and fears and worries and desires, It's all there. You know, I also was saying what amazing tool this journaling is and just the difficulty of mastering it. I went through all of these again and I go through them quite frequently. And recently I out on a little retreat with myself. And so I brought this one journal that was like, I really wanted to read it all, You know, And it was during a time where I was first really seeking to like get well and keep substances out of my body. And it was unbelievable to see that I in writing my first spiritual awakening of wanting to live differently and be different. And then just how would I, How could I? It's just it's so amazing to have that. The story is in the journals. They're, It's really the interaction and the experience with the journals and how you use them. And then the different scenarios showcasing the same beliefs going on, But the characters are different. Most of my journal entries, What would happen is that there's more layers of what before I thought was just confusion. Like what I'm writing about is just confusion and blame essentially. I mean, Those are so very clear that are in there. But then the different scenarios showcasing the same belief of like me feeling attacked, Like I was being attacked by whatever was going on, Whether it be the world or other people or a boyfriend or, You know, Just my life. I guess kind of the aha moment for me that I want to talk about in internally, I am at war with myself and I have not recognized this for so long. I haven't realized how violent and angry I am to myself and how I project that onto others as them attacking or blaming me. And I'm getting so much closer now to recognizing and seeing that the internal well that I am pulling from has me in a posture of needing to be defensive because I'm bad or I'm wrong. It's so interesting to get to see this over and over again in these journals. But it like I said, It was just under like the confusion and blame and like how those stories could just keep going on. And I felt so lucky to be able to have these things happen over and over again and then me write about them so that I can get a little bit closer, You know, One layer deeper as to like, Oh, I'm defending myself because I think I have to because of what I'm creating this self imposed. Those are such great insights, Poni. Well, They made sense for me. And you know, At this moment that it's for me. All this work that I'm doing is for me. Yeah, But it also benefits the people around you in the greater world. That's right. It really does. The more that we can do this kind of internal self care work, The more that I can go out and not have to attack, Kill, Torture, Maim, Poor innocent bystanders. So sorry about that, Everybody. I'm changing slowly. Okay, We are moving on to the tool section. And obviously the obvious tool is the journal. But let's share about how we use this tool and any offshoots that may complement journaling. And also Annie. Oh, I thought maybe you wanted to say and talk about how some listeners wrote in also, We have some really great ones. So Poni and I are going to share our tools and then at the end, We're going to shout out in our social media communities at pretty spiritual podcast. We have really engaged community. So if you aren't part of it yet, Come connect. But we had some people write in and share what their journaling techniques are. So we're so excited to hear what I don't even know yet. So yeah, Okay, Let me hear about yours. So my tools for journaling change all the time. I use journaling now mainly as part of my morning spiritual practice, Like a writing as a way to connect with my inner self and my higher power. And so if I'm really agitated, I have an inventory worksheet that I will use to kind of process information. But I just a woman named Wendy who's very lovely just taught me this new technique for a structured way to journal through a big emotion or a big fear or a big thought. So this is my first tool is how to structure an emotional brain dump to provide a way forward. Because in the past, Sometimes I would just pour all these emotions into my journal, But there wasn't any resolution or way forward. And so I'd just be like, Oh, I still feeling the example is personal. Recently I've been having fears around a book I'm writing, And I have been avoiding and abandoning it, Or else I will sit with it and nothing will happen. So my fear underneath of it all is that I'll abandon myself, I'll abandon the book. I really see myself prioritizing other work that prevents me from sitting down with my creative project. And there's this part of me that thinks that giving up on it is the easier, Softer way. And so this journaling model was suggested to me. Ask myself the question, Where is this idea that coming from that giving up is easier? You know, Like, Where is that coming from? And so she said, Really dig and write about it. You know, You'll get that surface stuff that just kind of comes out, But then get underneath of it. What am I actually feeling? I'm feeling scared, Low self-esteem. I feel really avoidant, You know? And then go underneath that. And so kind of write them in bullet points. You write the thing that's coming up, And then you write, What am I feeling? And you list it all out. And then the next part is you list, Why am I feeling this? And so then I list it out. I want to avoid pain. I want to control outcomes. I want to prevent possible shame or failure. And so you just like get it all out. And I wrote on those kind of exhaustively. Like I wrote about two pages on all that. And then the last part, And this is the part that I love that she shared with me, Is to write what are some good antidotes for when these feelings come up? So I'm not just like, Yeah, That's how I feel, And that's sucky. But then I actually have a solution, And it's me coming up with it. So I started journaling. And I know this, And I've been learning this more recently, That for various reasons, I'm really sensitive to anything I think is threatening. And I have more space around it, But I overreact to situations. Overreact sounds strange, But there's a little bit of a freeze that happens if I get scared. And so then this avoidance comes into play. And so if I'm thinking, Oh, I'm going to fail at something, Then this kind of little whole domino system I have set up starts to kick into play, And it looks like me avoiding stuff. And so I say, OK, What are the antidotes when this happens? I can acknowledge it and be like, Oh, You're in freeze. You've got a little tiny bit of freeze going on. Oh, Honey. So I can notice it. And then I say, One of my antidotes was affirmations. And we shared some really good ones in our recent episode called Owning Your Power. So you can check out some of those affirmations, Or you can write your own. But those have been really, Really helpful for me. I can do a mini meditation before I work and ask my higher power for courage. I can hold myself accountable with writing friends and benchmarks. So it becomes this journaling exercise also becomes a way for me to have a solution and kind of take action. And I can refer to it. I can put those things on a post-it note right by my computer. So that's my one tool. My antidotes that came out of it were building internal worth, Right? The affirmations are saying, Yeah, It's valuable for you to do this. You are allowed to create things. Seeking courage from a spiritual source and then creating a feeling of having a team and support. And then the second tool that I have, Or technique, I guess, For journaling is something that I learned from the Christian tradition. And I just adapted it to make it work within my own spiritual path. But it's called two-way prayer. And it is a little bit experimental. So if you want to experiment, Give this one a try. And I also want to shout out Dawn from our Facebook group, Because she shared about writing letters to your highest self, Which this is really similar to that. Essentially what you do is you write out that you kind of journal about an area that you're seeking guidance in your life. And the goal with this is, This suggestion is to do it for at least 30 days every morning, To just kind of go with the flow of it. So you write out the area that you're seeking guidance in your life, Or how to best serve your higher power, Or align with your highest self that day. So this is all just for a day. And then you kind of write it all out and say, OK, Here's what's on my mind. And then you meditate. And then after your meditation, Whether it's 30 seconds or 15 minutes or whatever, You answer in writing as though that highest version of yourself or your higher power is communicating with you through your writing. So it's almost like this call and response. You're putting out this question to the universe. You create this quiet time and this quiet space. And then you write as though the answer is coming through you. The suggestion with trying it for a month is to kind of let your ego let go of the idea of, Like I had a bit of incredulity about it. I was like, Yeah, My higher power is talking through me. Because I can get really judgmental about myself as I'm doing things that are new or different. But I just started experimenting with it. And it was fun. I did it for about three months. And maybe I'll start doing it again now that I'm talking about it. And one suggestion that was really helpful with this was as you start to write as though you're channeling that voice, You address yourself with a term of endearment, Like sweet Annie or my beloved or dear one or something. So it's kind of like you know that there's this. It doesn't just feel like you journaling. And it almost invokes or gives space to this other voice. So those are the tools or techniques for journaling that I wanted to share today. Thank you so much. Yeah, And I love using the terms of endearment with myself, Especially just like when you were talking about what it feels like to do this really deep spiritual work. You know, Of course, The human being parts like this is stupid. This will never work. You're so silly. This is ridiculous. Yeah, This is why even do this? Who do you think you are? Part of that, I think is that it doesn't want to change. Yeah, Don't you dare let any change in. Yeah. And for me, Whenever it comes to like, Okay, I said I wanted to, To find the spiritual path and to take it, I'm really willing to do all of the things, Whatever it is that's asked of me, And just try it on, You know, And just see what happens and then just notice the mind telling you and the ego telling you that this is stupid and it's not going to work because I've found that this stuff really does work. Yeah, It really it. Oh my gosh, I just remember us doing an episode and how we were really cracking up and we're like so worried about who we were going to become because we did really want like this spiritual path and like what does this mean? Do I get to carve it out and it be something different that's totally my own and I think that's what it is to have an experience with this is to just try. You don't have to go and buy all the beads and the robes and get the perfect sitting pillow. You don't have to do that. You can like do it right here right now and have the experience. So cool. Thank you for sharing with me. Okay, Listeners, We just busted out all of the journals. There are journals everywhere and we're really getting into it. Okay. And I just mustered up the courage to be like, You know what I am going to re I'm going to give the listeners what they want. I will look however I need to look and it is part of my tool. So don't worry. I'm going to wrap this up in a great little bow for everybody. I know it's so important. My tools for journaling the ones I'm using right now, I like to call it a spiritual report. It's very simple. It's three little sections that you write and it has to do with the first one is regrets. The next one is gratitude. And then the next one is for tomorrow. So it's very simple. So you can write down for example, I wrote in there about how I lost my I lost my composure and my tone with somebody very important to me, You know, That was my regret. And then my gratitude to that I have awareness that I immediately asked, I immediately stated my wrong and told them that that, You know, I'm going to work and be a better person. And then for tomorrow, More attention on my tone. And then through doing this over all these years is for tomorrow, And what I'm realizing just in like talking and doing this podcast is beloved or talking kindly, Like I have got to have self compassion for myself. For tomorrow, I need self compassion. I because I feel I am beating myself up so much at all times that I am just the way that I treat people is not my deals. It's not my higher wiser self. So I do love that way. Because it's very simple. It doesn't take a lot. And then over the days, You get the patterns really emerge. And it's so useful to me. I also wanted to say I was just researching a five year journal because I have journals as you can see all over. And then I'm like trying to put them in order and chronological is such a mess and like searching for them. So I thought, Wow, This is so cool. So I looked online and there's different ones because I want like over 1500 pages, You know, So that then Wow, I'm so excited to do that for myself. So that's my next plan. So that's my tool that I'm using. And one of the best tools that was ever given to me was a spiritual mentor told me to write a letter to my past self and to write a letter to my future self. I was really beginning this path in this journey and think I was probably being really hard on myself. So I will read a quick little bit to my future self because I'll tell you the past wasn't very nice. This is from I'll give you the date. You've got a lot of paper noise. I do because these are papers. Oh, Look, This is my dear diary coming at you're getting the full experience. This is from October 2011. Look how nice I was. Dear Dear future self and then I wrote Oh yeah, I gotta be nice to myself. So I wrote in beautiful kind. Isn't that nice? I was really learning how to try. I pray you've stayed strong in your journey and I just know you're sober writing this. The change has been jaw dropping dramatic. The work is what made that change. Please don't stop doing the work. I hope you aren't being too hard on yourself, But don't lose your drive. If you're not meditating daily start is not funny because I knew myself even then. Anyway, If you're still trying to ease your mind and body through outside people, Places and things stop. If you don't already begin today to love yourself wholeheartedly, It is key to your happiness and sprite. Oh, I am getting sad. I'm getting so sweet. Once you begin this, Then I'm going to just talk about it being obsessed with boys and the need for attention will subside. I tell myself if I start loving myself, You must give the attention you deserve to yourself. You must be all this and more you and only you will be able to provide what you need inside. No outside influences will ever be able to fulfill that. Only distract, Slow down. Things will be more than fine. If it doesn't work out your way, Lose all expectations of others. No one owes you anything. Read your literature, Breathe, Smile, Care, Have goals and work towards them. Exercise when you feel bad. Get out, Walk, Bike, Go. Be with your fellowship. Call someone, But get out of yourself. Don't stop learning. Don't stop growing these fears. You allow yourself to be scared of only hinder your growth. Spiritual professional all around. Keep it up. I just know you're doing great. And if not, Stop, Drop everything and begin again today. Now don't delay and know I love you truly. I'm working to get you to love me too. Oh, It's so nice. Really nice. What a wise person you were nine years ago. I know. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. And then just, Um, Yeah. And then in therapy today, My therapist was like, You know, This innate wisdom. That's what she's telling that to me. And I'm like, There's not, That's not there. You know, I'm like, Ah, So the work what's great, You know, Spoiler alert, The work is here and through the journals, We really just get to get reminded of it for me, Just like really beautiful stuff and get to know myself, Like my spirit and my soul in a way, You know, It's like writing pen pals to your spirit and your soul. Oh, I love that. Oh, So thank you so much for allowing me to do that. Thank you for opening up your journals. Oh my God. Is there anything else? Do we want to share a couple of listeners and how they do this? Wouldn't that be so helpful? Yes. Cause this is so fun. The tools that we all get to share, There's so many cool techniques. So we get to just experiment. Thank God we all have each other to learn from and grow and heal together. It is my absolute reason for being so in our pretty spiritual podcast, Facebook group, It's kind of an interactive room where people come together and share. And I asked, I posed this question there and Gay and Lindsay and Catherine. Another wonderful Lindsay, We thank you. All shared that they keep a gratitude journal and so they do it in different ways, But essentially it's keeping track of the things that bring them joy. Sometimes it's quotes or poems or it's just what happened in the day. Our friend Mary said she likes to make her journals really colorful and fun so she stays motivated to do it. She does everything in different colors and it feeds her artistic side. And again, Like you just shared with that letter, She likes to write everything that if she's having a hard time, List all the hard feelings and then respond to it like a compassionate friend or mother. Our friend Jodi likes to do the morning pages from the artist's way. We love the artist's way. Oh my gosh. I have. I'm so grateful. So many stacks of morning pages. Oh man, So many people have done it and I'm just in awe. I'm not ready. I didn't finish it. I've just gotten to step nine two times. Does this sound familiar? Yeah, I can probably do it in a year. No, It's okay. It's okay. Yeah. Maybe we'll do it together. Yeah, That'd be so cool. Amber Irene shared that she has been using tarot cards as her jumping off point for journaling. So she'll pull a card for the day and or for her question and then write down what she sees and its meaning. So that's fun. That's so cool. I wish I knew more about that. I know somebody teach us. Yeah, Which is please write in because I am ready to learn some spells too. Also, I am like ready. Teach us this stuff. Whatever. I'm willing. And then Chandler Marie also wrote in on Instagram and said that she loves writing down what she was grateful for that day, Especially if she gets overwhelmed. Like sometimes I think a lot of us put these tasks on ourself like, Oh, This is another thing I have to do. And she says, I can just jot down one thing that was really wonderful about that day, Whether it was sunshine or piece of chocolate I got at work. Shout out to gratitude. Shout out to gratitude. Powerful tool. And our friend Stacy, The last person who wrote in says she uses a five minute journal and it's three questions in the morning. What are you grateful today? What would make today great? And a daily affirmation. And then there's some exercises for the night. So there's so many cool techniques that people use and that we get up. I love it because I can just change it up all the time. That's right. And there's really no wrong way. There's no rules. So cool. You get to personalize it. Your very own kink spirituality. Yeah, Do we? Journal finish. Oh, Let me just tell you, I had so much fun on this episode. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. And we thank all of you listeners. Thanks for being here with us. Thanks for being here with us. We have a really exciting episode coming up next time. We have another guest for you. The topic is going to be around stress. I know nobody here ever feels any stress. Oh, Yeah, Definitely. But if in case you know somebody who's ever been stressed. For your friend. Yeah. Call your friend. Ask him for a friend. Yeah, No problem at all. And yeah, So tell a friend about our podcast. That'd be great. Yeah. If you love us, Feel free to write us a review. We'd love that. Comment to us on Insight Timer. We love writing back to all of you on there. Yeah. And just thanks so much for everything. And we'll see you next time. We love you. Yes, We do. Bye.

Reviews

These 3 women are an absolute joy to listen too 💕 fun, helpful and doable stuff 👍
Much gratitude 🙏

This podcast gives me direction, hope, and a bit of humor in viewing my humanness. Thank you for sharing parts of your journey AND the emphasis on tools to move forward.

Loved this talk, so joyful and inspiring! I’m also a diary kind of girl, since I was 10. I keep them all and I love to read them, it gives me perspective and it makes me laugh a lot. Thank you for this fun talk 🙏🏼☺️🍃💜

Loved this podcast today. I’ve been feeling blocked with my writing and I believe that I have taken a lot away from this. Thank you 🙏