The True Path

Seekers sometimes fall into the trap of an inauthentic or fake spiritual journey.

The fake journey won´t get us far on our spiritual path. But it can feel safer in the short run, especially when our ego screams. (Egos kick up a fuss to try to discourage us from continuing because they know if we keep going, they will die.) Sometimes the screaming ego fools us and we retreat into our heads and try to walk the journey from there, rather than continuing to come into our hearts.

Sincere prayer, repeating mantras, and learning to witness the ego's shenanigans, without buying into them, all really help. This way, we can try to just keep walking our true path. Walls can dissolve instead of blocking us. Our soul is always waiting for us, wanting to connect with us, and even if connecting with our truth can feel like a deep dive into the unknown, we will find forgiveness, compassion, and love there.

Premasudha talks to Erin, Bhavani, and Saskia. The music is from Jenna.

Transcript

This is just an invocation to Amma. We revel in grace, The grace of Amma and the Creator. It's everywhere. So it is. You know, Just before we start with the question and answer, I wanted to just say a few words, Which is, You know, If somebody's been on the spiritual journey for years and years, They finally experience surrender. And I just want to talk about surrender because it's the most powerful thing we can do. And yet, It is exactly when the ego holds up the white flag. So it doesn't feel powerful, But it really is. You know, Amma says, When we're a zero, We're a hero. Just when we're feeling the worst, If we, You know, Are focused on embodying the Creator's energy, Amma's energy, And we surrender, Then we become filled with it. We begin to bond with our true nature, Which is bliss. But I just want to talk about how it happens. So we're walking along, And we're going along in past and future. We usually feel guilty about the past, And we're scared about the future. And we live right in there. Most people, The ego, The usual conditioned person lives right there, And there's no peace. So we're walking along, And we have these goals. And it seems that as we're walking along, It's insurmountable. It's sort of like a mountain cliff right in front of you. You just, There's nothing you can do to solve it. You're stuck. You're thwarted. Life isn't working out the way you want. And then you surrender. You just go, Okay, I'm going to spend, Here I am. I guess I'm just going to spend the rest of my life right in front of this obstacle. It's just, This is just the way it's going to be, I guess. And the mountain cliff, Or obstacle, Dissolves. And you come into the now, Into the present. And you realize that you can just keep walking your way. That the obstacle isn't that big a deal. That you can actually, That it's imaginary. It's illusory. And that you can walk forward in this way. It's like in the now, Accompanied by Amma, The creator. Accompanied by yourself. And then your problems will dissolve. We live in the past and the future. And we don't like the present. Whatever we're faced with, We're going, Eww. Oh, Not this. Oh, No. My life is wasted. Terrible. Right? This is, It isn't just us, You guys. This is the human condition. And that's why teachers will focus on, Like, You know, Focus on gratitude. Because gratitude will tend to help bring you into the present. And it will soften this dislike of our current reality. It's so simple. It's just that the operation, It's like a surgical operation has to be done on us. It's we who have to change our perspective. And it gets right up close and personal. And this is why it's difficult. And so, We come to satsangs to experience a little bit of being present and to be inspired. But remember, Sometimes, And I really want to put a big red flag here, We are taught to be very passive. To sit, To bring ourselves to classes, Satsangs, Courses, Whatever, And just sit there. And kind of expect the teacher to just fill us up with it. And I want you to, I want you to look about whether you really did put a, Get a glass and put a gratitude sign on it. The number of people who actually did that suggestion, Because I'll tell you, If you do that every time you drink from it, You will be drinking holy water. And just notice if you didn't do it. It's like, What's a teacher to do? And I get it. It's like, You know, I would do it and the sign would fall off. But it's the keeping going and doing these things. They feel weedy and kind of uncool. It's like most people, They think they're trying to be cool, You know, And it's not cool to admit vulnerability or to feel how lost one is and how much one needs help. But you're the one who needs to feed you. Yeah. You're the one who needs to feel that you're good enough, That you deserve enough to take steps to support your journey. These kind of weedy things that feel weedy, But they're not. That's like a lot of how Pramasuta navigated. Yeah, And it's okay. There's no, There's no right or wrong. It's just what's going to work for you in the long run is becoming less passive around helping yourself. You know, A lot of people I've worked with, They have, They're not passive around earning a living. They'll do whatever they have to do. They'll get up at six o'clock in the morning, They'll do work late into the night. But when it comes to actually doing something to support themselves spiritually, Like this, Like the glass with gratitude, They're very passive about those things. And they're passive because they don't feel they're valuable. And because the spiritual journey doesn't loom, It's not the most important thing for them. And there's no criticism in any of this. It's just, It's just this kind of engineering perspective about what works and what doesn't work. And that's what a lot of Pramasuta's work is about. Yeah. And, You know, There's a beautiful softness developing in you. And hearts that are becoming less armored and softer. Pramasuta can feel it in you. It's all good. Okay, So questions, Comments? I'll go. It's Erin. So I want to write my life journey. I know you've encouraged that in many of the satsangs. And oh my goodness, Do I have resistance to going back to all the tender spots? It scares me. Yeah. Yeah. So I have heard you say, Ask for support and ask for it to come gently. And so there's, So I'm stepping into it. I'm just, I'm noticing the resistance. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And then, So there's not a question there. There's just an observation. And then the sweet news is I was having all sorts of health issues and I was on your prayer list and everything has lifted. So, And it had been there for a year. So I am so very, Very, Very grateful. And talk about gratitude. Just to be symptom-free is such a gift. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. So I do have a question. The letter to the universe, I haven't done that. That's also what I want to do. When I've heard you speak about it, You say six months from now, Here's what, Here's what I want. So I just wonder if you could provide any more instruction around that. I think in one satsang you said to burn it afterwards. And I'm just wondering if it's things that I'm dreaming of happening, Anything that comes to mind, Just any instruction there would be helpful. Yeah, I kind of want to come back to your, To your experience of the resistance. Okay. Thought we could skip right over that. So, You know, It's just, This is something Pramasutra would often do. You know, It's sort of this understanding, Aaron, Is that, That if one stands in front of the resistance, Then nothing changes. And at the same time, If one's feeling resistant, One's feeling resistant, Right? You can't, Right? You're there. Yeah, Yeah. But I would look for any chink in the armor. So, You know, If I had a moment where I felt like I could write something, I would do it. It's staying on it, Like stalking a wild animal. If you were looking for food, If you are a hunter, And you're stalking an animal, It's the same, You stalk your own journey, You stay on it. And if there's any break and an opportunity, You go in there and you start writing it. Do you see? I do. Right. You don't just go, Oh, The door is locked. Oh, Well, I'll forget about this. Or I'll try in a year or two. Like, This is where people can go very passive. And they'll go, Oh, I'm resistant. Oh, And so five years later, It's still not done. You know, I remember going to a psychiatrist when I was 21. And it was a good move. Because my family, He was a good family therapist. But I remember, I go to his house at eight o'clock on Friday mornings. And I remembered, Like knocking on the door. And nobody heard me. And he said, You're gonna have to learn to knock louder. Yeah, In life, Basically, Not this knock, Knock. And we women can really do this. Knock, Knock. Yeah. All right. So I love the fact that you were bold enough to raise this in the satsang to talk about this resistance, Because I'm seeing it like a big kind of line across your heart, Like a line and static. So it's not an X, There's just one line with static. Yeah. And it's involved with how you think of yourself. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Yes. And your God in human form. Okay. Yeah. You're an eternal soul, Who has come here to find freedom. You've come into this life to find more freedom, To make friends with your soul energy, To make friends with the truth of who you are. So I'm seeing you just pick up this resistance, Pick up this black line with a static, And you're picking it off your heart. And you're kind of going, I don't need this anymore. You're giving it over to Amma. That's it. This is a beautiful exposure. Okay, You guys, We grow through exposure. When our tricks of our ego are exposed, We surrender and grow. It's so good that you just brought this forward. It's, It's, It's around to you realizing that you're, That you're more the master of your own destiny than you realize that, You know, What you deeply yearn for, What you deeply will, Will happen. In your life, It may be slow, But it will happen. Okay. So the thing about the letter, The universe, You just write something you want to occur. You know, I said with my children that I wanted to be better, To be able to pick them up. So it was very heartfelt and non-conflicted. Mm-hmm. You see what I mean? I, Yes, I really wanted to get there with 100% of myself, And then I forgot about it. Okay. You know, It might be, You know, If you've got a goal, And you can do two things. You can put a goal like that, Or you can also say that you want to really understand something within six months. Ah, Okay. That's helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's it. Right. Okay, Good. Right. Right. It's beautiful, Erin. This really helped the group, You know, Sweet one. Thank you. Yeah. Are you, Is there anything else that you need? Keeps popping in my head is I can't go any younger than six years, And I've made up that there's something, Like, Scary about that. Oh, Okay. And I don't, My childhood is pretty sketchy. Like, I don't, I have an idea that I should have a lot more memories than I do. They're not all bad, But I just, Yeah. You know, Sweet one, Yeah, This is fear of intimacy with yourself, You know? Okay. Yeah, We can face anything, You know, And the ego is really tricky about saying these things, You know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I just stuff. You know, If you're really grounded in that you want your freedom, This life. Yes, You can face anything. And like I say, You know, Egos are so tricky. And they're so good at like, Scaring us off. Yeah. I'm just want to feel into something, Though, With you. The issue is shame. It's like, Yeah. But you know, These things like, You know, I feel that emotional abuse is exactly the same level of pain as physical abuse, Do you understand? So, The pain level is the same. Most of us are scared to feel the depth of how the sadness of the child. But, Sweetie, You just, You know, Your psyche will take care of you, Your psyche will. It'll come as quickly as you can handle it will not, You will not be overloaded. I promise you this. Okay. You know, And you could even spend like, You could put a letter to the universe to remember more of the early, Early years. Okay. But it will come organically, You won't get overloaded. It's your ego getting in there saying, I don't want you to go there. Because your ego saying, You will learn to love your true self if you do this. And so I don't want you to go there. Yeah. Right. Okay. So even when you're getting that kind of data, If you understand it's kind of an ego trip, Trick, Yeah. It'll, It'll stop you from being imprisoned by it. You'll go okay, You go like, Oh, Well, I'm not, You know. Yeah. I want my true nature. Yeah. But it's really good that we've spoken about all of this. But yeah, It's I can feel it. It's really good. It's like a clear wind coming through your, Through your heart, Feeling of, You know, Opening the doors of your heart. And for everybody who's listening, Because everybody who's listening, Experiences similar things. And contact me, Erin. Okay, Always contact me. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Blessing. Blessing. Thank you. Thank you, Sweet one. That was really helpful. Yeah, Right. Yeah. Good. Hi, Pamela Souda. Ruvani, Sweet one. How are you? I'm, I'm doing okay, In the midst of everything. It's, The emotions are coming up. It's intense. It's, It's quite intense. I'm, You know, I feel like I have support. And, You know, Been in contact and feels like there's definitely things happening. Still, It's, It's, It's really intense. You know, Tears coming up and, And, You know, Any moment possible, And my stomach puffed out, Full of just almost, Almost to discomfort with, And just trying to, I mean, I feel like I'm doing okay with the, You know, Just being with it. And I met I am meditating the two times a day, 20 minutes to, You know, Sometimes it's just like lying in bed in the evening, But focusing on just taking the taking time and Sweetie, When we're in a kind of an ongoing soul retrieval, It is like this. It is just like this, You get full of emotions and fears. And this is Bhavani becoming more. This is more of your true nature being allowed to inform your life. And it's very, Very uncomfortable. And in my experience, The the key is having a really pure intent for the highest good outcome. Okay, And then this is the rub, You see, Is if we're just going for power, Then the creator can can't inform us. And maybe we've gone for power in other lives. And so that is clearing we're seeing. We're seeing that we can't do that anymore. It's not it's not the new way. Yeah. I feel you're a bit shell shocked on kind of even on this issue. Yeah. It's, It's, Yeah, This is it's around this power. It's sort of like part of you feels that it's just not safe. If you don't, If you don't, If you stop being that way. Yeah. But this work is in learning to embody the truth. And as this happens, These vastness from other lives come up, You guys, It is profoundly uncomfortable. I'll tell you, The only thing that that worked for Pramasutra was it was like, It wasn't like, You know, Don't think in terms of meditation times. This turns your whole life into a meditation. You keep the focus on, You know, The silence within, Or Ama or the creator. It's like I did. I focused on kind of the the truth in me. I kept orienting myself to the truth. My true nature. I focused on that. I would get lost in this material, Just like you're describing. Just I would be overwhelmed. I would feel like I was walking around in a blender. Really? And I would feel disoriented, Not very sane. And still, You know, You had to cope. Right. If you realize that the issue, It's the conflict that you're facing, That the real issue is not the people involved so much as it's around you learning how to walk in truth. Right. There's, Yeah, There's no, You guys often, You want like a recipe book for me, And I get it. And there is a recipe book in that if you focus on the divine, It will work. So I would go through these. Vani's got a mother-in-law who overindulges her son. And this is upsetting Vani. And she doesn't know what to do. So you just have to like, Walk around in the soup till you come to some clarity. And then you, If it is to take an action, Then you take the action, And you see the results, And you're with the results. And that's your data. You guys, We're, You see, You're the captain, We're the captain of our ships. This work is like teaching kids to tie up their shoes. It's like, We have to do it. We have to walk our walk. We're faced with ourselves over and over and over. Yeah. And I can feel, Vani, There's, You're faced with a wall, And it's like that you don't really want to do this. What was one of my clips that I uploaded this past week, My first week of doing clips for the Pema Sutta satsangs, And one of them is called walking through walls. Right. I'll listen again. Yeah, There's this, I see this wall right in front of you, And it's quite, It's thin, It's not thick at all. But it's gray and like cement, It's kind of, You know, It's kind of connected with your ideas of concrete reality. And the issue is not the concrete reality, The issue is actually you embodying your true nature. You're looking at it in a concrete way. But it's actually, Are you willing to really learn how to live in truth? Yes. I'm just going to say yes. Right. So you're doing it, And all this emotional struggle is what it's like. The more powerful, If you want to become like a powerful woman in the best way, A powerful, Love-enhanced woman, This is exactly how you do it. You feel, You go through periods where you feel everything like as if you're everything but that. You just feel hugely confused. I mean, This is where Premasuddha's compassion for humanity comes from, Walking through this stuff. Right. You know, Sometimes a problem can't be faced directly. Sometimes we have a problem like that's irritating us, And we want to take some action, But it's actually better sometimes to just put it on the back burner and give ourselves space. Like, Step back from the problem and just witness it. Witness how big this is looming up in your mind. Your mother-in-law and your child, See how big it is. It's as big as the moon. Really, This is. . . How are you feeling right now? What's going on with you? Feels good just to speak about it, Just to say like, Hey, This is where I am right now, And it's uncomfortable, And I'm really thankful for. . . Yeah, It's useful. I listened to your message earlier today, And yeah, I can do something with that, As in maybe it's just sitting with it. Yeah, I want you to step back into your heart. And I would actually, Ideally, I'd like you to have a physical experience of this, Stepping back into your heart, Sort of putting the problem in front of you, And then step back into your heart. Uh-huh. Right, Right, Right. What are you feeling? First word that comes is relief. Right. That's good. Yeah. You, Sweetie, You're caught with feeling that you have to manage everything. This is your problem. You feel you have to manage life, Manage you, Manage everybody. That is your problem. This is part of what this is showing you. That is your biggest problem. You feel you have to manage everything, And even the realm of being that Premasuddha's teaching, Part of you wants to use it as this way of managing yourself. Okay, And this is what alarms me. This is where I go, Yeah, Right, Right, Right. It's like, I see it's there. I, You know, Want to move beyond it, Because I can, I can feel, I can feel the limitations. I feel very strongly the limitations of that way. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. And, Sweetie, Part of you, Look, It's all good. Premasuddha's just shining a light. Part of you then wants to do, Like, Okay, I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm doing an apology for it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I get it. I get it. Don't worry. You can back off now. I've got it. And it's like, You're still missing the acknowledgement of your soul energy. Yeah, And you said, Yep, Too fast. Yeah, Yeah, Right. You have no protection. There, There is, You have absolutely no protection. It's just you, And life, And you learning how to come into this life from the truth of you, As opposed to these vasanas, These tricks that have, That coming from many lives. It's not any kind of fault. And it's not anything that you can manipulate Premasuddha about. There's nothing you can do. And this is where I want you to go to, Where there's nothing you can do, And all you can do is pray to Amma, The creator, With more truth, More sincerity, More feeling than you've ever allowed before. And then grace will come and solve this. So, So how do you feel right now? Right, Right, Right, Right. A bit warm, Which is nice. Right, Warm, Right, Right. And this is good for Aaron to see, Too, Because you see, Aaron, People, We can go back into our little child self. It's okay. Any trauma is never too much for us. Yeah. Right. There, There are angelic blessings surrounding you, Aaron. Yeah. Okay. All around, All around your head, Working with your head and your understanding. So, Be of good cheer, Like, Yeah. Wonderful. And Bhavani, Premasuddha's going, Yes! Right. And, You know, Grace will solve things. And then if you're taking action from here, That action will be received by others without scar tissue. But there's no rush for action. You need to just be with this for a while. Right. Yeah. It's good work. I mean, Unlike Premasuddha's died and gone to heaven. Yeah. No, Really, That's a real accomplishment. Yeah. May great grace surround you. Yeah, I can, Again, I can feel a lot of grace around you, Too, With this. This is, You know, Boy, If we women learn to come from our true nature, The world would. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Thank you for your innocence. Thank you, All of you guys, For your humility and innocence. Yeah. Hi, Premasuddha. Saskia here. Saskia, Sweet word. Hi. I wanted to share something. I'm not sure it's a question. It's just, You talked to me about shadow work and that I did a lot of shadow work. And that left me heady. And something clicked because it's so true. And then all of a sudden, I realized I just don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to keep digging in the dirt and finding more things that are wrong and more things to fix. And I felt like I so, So had it. And then I tried to, What you said, To stare towards the light. And it was, It was nice, Because I found light. And in situations in my life, When I wanted to do or say something, All of a sudden, Another option came up. So I went another way. And it felt much lighter. And it's just right now, It feels like a big piece of me is missing. It's such a big chunk, Where I always used to do that, What you call shadow work. And it's gone. It's just like a vacuum now. And I'm okay. I can't explain it. The light experience feels much lighter and easier and not so complicated. And part of me feels like something is missing. And part of me doesn't. And I just have that feeling. I just had it. I don't want to be sad or have all these feelings. I mean, Of course, If they come up, And they're part of me. But yeah, I don't even can formulate a question. It's just, Okay. Yeah, No, I get it. Okay, That's good. So Saskia, And somebody else had done shadow work. And Premasutha thinks shadow work is a big place where the ego comes in. And it's often really hard for a person to, Makes it harder for the person to move into the light. The best way is you serve the light. And your shadow, You will see your shadow come up to be cleared as a byproduct. So if you're say you're doing selfless service, What happens say, Say, Me guys working with you guys, Exactly here it is. So sometimes I can be working with you. And maybe somebody's really like this was more of the old days, But in the somebody would be really frustrating me or pressing my buttons, I would see my own shadow, Do you see? And I would give it over and do the clearing. But if if Premasutha presumed that the darkness in her was stronger than the light, Then I would never have been able to do this. So Saskia, The trouble is, You are doing this in the old shadow format. You're doing it in the old kind of heady way. So you're serving the light, But it's very heady. It's not a real, It's not a real full frontal, I want to live in the light, I want to be in the light. It's a little bit like, Oh, This is what's going to work. Okay, I'll go into the light. It's a little bit of what's in it for me, Still. So it's good you're opening to this. Like part of you, You see, You don't really want to get over this heady thing because it's, You're used to it. It's your kind of family's been built on it in a way. Do you see? For you to really wake up, You're scared that it will upset the apple cart. And I'm like, It won't upset the apple cart. It'll just be a big relief. Again, It's the same with Vani, The issue is one of control. I know. Right. I know. When you said that, Yeah, You were talking to me too. Right. But the trouble is, There's part of you that's very complacent with it staying this way, Saskia, While you make sort of polite noises about wanting to move into truth, You know? It's like, Really? No, Really. Well, We all know social situations and somebody says, Oh, We've got to get together. And the person knows that they don't mean it at all. Yeah. So Saskia, Premises saying you don't really mean it. So, Yeah. There's part of you that's really almost too invested in the status quo. You've got the thing with people like Saskia and Pramasutra, People who are writers, They have very vivid imaginations. So we start moving into truth and then the mind goes, Oh, This is going to happen, This is going to happen, This is going to happen. And it's just like with Aaron talking about, You know, Oh, Maybe there's something terrible before zero to six that I just, Yeah, It's all just nonsense. It's ego nonsense. Really, You guys. Please get, See the nonsense of the ego. It's so stupid. We're on the verge of extinction and we're still like, Come on, Come on. You know, Saskia, I'm going to embarrass you, But Saskia was coming for sessions and then we had a session where I was like, OK, You and I can really get close and communicate. And Saskia wouldn't let me get through to her in person, Through touch at all. And the thing is, Saskia, It's still this way. Yeah, So Pramasutra said, Well, We can't meet. But we're still doing the same dance, Sweetie. We are. But it's not, Yeah, Good, Good. Thank you. It's not personal to Pramasutra. It's personal to Saskia. It's personal to who Saskia is. The thing is, And everybody in the satsang will see it, Your soul is so close. You are such a lovely person. It's like, There's nothing to be scared about, Sweet one. You're just cutting off the sweetness of your life. I find it so hard to get out of my head. I just find it so hard. Yeah, Because you try to get out of it. And so it gets it bigger. I want you to really hear me. Whatever we fight gets bigger. Trilla Chan knows all about this, Right? Trilla Chan? Whatever we fight, It just gets bigger. There's just no point. Just don't do it. It's stupid. You guys, It's just stupid to fight these things. If you are going to fight internally, Watch it. Watch yourself fighting it. I'm just so done with being stupid. I just feel like I'm just so done with that. Yeah, But you see, I'm seeing you sort of just sort of stamping your foot. Well, Actually, That's good. Stamping your foot in front of this rock in front of you. You get that you're doing this to yourself, Sweet one. And again, It's a little bit, Okay, The problem's been about learning. It's like you want the learning to be on your terms, And you have to let the learning be on the creator's terms. This is your problem, Actually. So, On one level, You're open to learn, But you're saying, I want to learn on my terms. And you don't have the control. You're not going to learn on the terms of your ego. Your ego is a stupid one. You're going to learn on the terms of this infinite soul within you. And that needs to be like sonic drilled through that head of yours. Like, Premasutha said, I mean, I've said this so much about my life, You guys. Like, In all my stories over and over again, I'm telling you, It does not come in on the ego's terms at all. I want you to look at me. Right. You know, You and I are the same soul. There's no difference. Premasutha is just this one. You're Saskia. You're this one, Saskia. There's no difference. That's it. So, How are you feeling right now? I feel the control. I feel something with control. And it's almost also like a fighting with control. Oh, Yeah, You fight with everything underneath. You're fighting. I mean, That's, You're fighting with life, Sweetie. Right. Right. So, I'm seeing a real fight with truth here. And it's like, Truth is just love, Sweet one. I feel like what I do doesn't even make sense. It's just like something automatic. I know. That's why I talk about taking steps back into your heart. Step back from it right now. Step back from this problem of control. Step back into your heart. It hurts. My heart hurts. Right. That's what, That's why you want to keep fighting, Because your ego doesn't want you to feel the sorrow in your heart at the way things are. When I say the way things are, I'm talking about the way you are on your journey. How fake it is. How fake your journey is, Actually. Part of you would want to fight that, But you know, Sweetie, The only thing that works, And this is for all of you guys, The only thing that works is an infinite sincerity. Just a sincerity, Like being a sincere lover. Not being a exploitive lover, Or a lover who wants something out of the union, But just utterly, Utterly sincere as a lover of God. A Vama. And a willingness to keep allowing more and more sincerity, To keep a willingness to see more and more of the dust on the mirrors, On the window, And keep clearing it. You know, It's really easy in a way, Saskia. It's like, Because you're a writer, And you're you know, Of the mind, And this is just like Pramasutra, Pramasutra used these, Her imagination, To come out of this kind of difficulty. So, I'm just getting the feeling now to remind you to just surround your whole history with compassion. Surround your whole life with compassion. You're the one who's got to take the reins of this mind, And use it in ways where it helps you, And doesn't hurt your journey. Do you see, I mean, You've got a writer's mind, Just like Pramasutra, So you have to learn to use it well, To use it to help you. Because otherwise, Sweetie, You know, I mean, What else is going to make, What, How else are you going to come out of this? Yeah. Right. So, You use your mind that way, Use your mind to witness the stupidity of fighting, And then you use your mind to, You know, Surround your whole life with love and compassion, To keep imagining angels with you, And what you will find is this inner hollowness that you're experiencing will get filled up with true, Unconditional love. Right. And then you're going, I can hear you going, Oh, But who will I be? Who will I be? And it's like, Well, You can keep doing a fake journey, Or you can, Like, Actually do it. It's up to you. You know, With the who will I be? Who will I be? You just go, Well, You'll just be somebody. If you don't do this, You'll just be somebody who keeps doing a fake journey. Right. I don't want, Yeah, I don't want to do a fake journey. Right. But it's one thing to tell the premise of that, And another thing to do it. Right. Because, Sweetie, I've known you for two years or whatever, And it's kind of like, Well, You know, You know, And yeah. Right. You might as well just, I mean, I'm going like, Why is she so scared to feel the grace and the love coming into her? This is so stupid. You're not stupid. Our egos are stupid. We think we're protecting ourselves, And we're not at all. We're just doing a fake journey. What? I was trying to ask Amma why I have this fear of being true, Or that, Yeah, Why it's so difficult for me that to love myself. And she just, I don't know, Maybe that was, There was no connection. It felt like she looked away. Right. Because you look away, And because that question was kind of even a shadow question. It's like, Get down on your knees and cry and gnash your teeth at the hell that it is being so stuck, And how much you want to get through to the truth of you. And then the Creator would look at you, Do you see? Because you're looking at the Creator. Listen, When, I mean, I know from my experience of Amma that Amma would sometimes look away from me for how it wouldn't catch my eyes, Because that's how I was treating my inner Amma, My inner God Self. Right. You know, Sweetie, There's, You're, You're not, Okay, And this is something really important. So when a shaman, A native shaman, And a therapist told Prema Sutta she was too resistant to work with, Prema Sutta could have gone, You know, One of two ways. I could have written myself off, Or I just went, Or do what I did, Which is I just kept going, And felt the incredible pain of what it was like to be so resistant. And that is not shadow work, Feeling the pain of being resistant. No, That's, That's, That's real. You, You steer for love. And then you experience, Yeah, You experience the pain of all the parts of you that don't want love. And you experience the pain of being stuck. Look, You guys, If you start with the shadow, Whatever you focus on gets bigger. So if you start focusing on the shadow, It turns into the universe, Like don't do that. Focus on love, Focus on light, Focus on wanting to embody love, Serve love. And then the darkness within you will come up to be healed. That's how Prema Sutta navigated, Focused on love, And then everything that was not love in me, I would feel the great sorrow of being so stuck or corrupt, Or. . . But Saskia, The thing you really need to focus on is kind of ask for, Ask to be shown exactly why you don't want to grow. Yeah. I mean, And ask with an innocent heart for the universe to show you exactly why not, Because even talking to you like this, I feel like, It's like, Prema Sutta could try to help you for a million years. It's like, It's your decision about whether you really want to do this or not. So you need to ask to be shown the resistance. And the other thing, Sweet one, And I say this with great love and humility, Although it won't sound like it, But please understand that Prema Sutta so is grateful to everybody who wants to come in and help. But there's a point where the person has to learn, Or else Prema Sutta will push them away and make room for someone else to help. And by pushing away, It's totally out of love. But that is what happens over time. Right. So I just want you to know that. Right. And I'm very grateful for the help, But I, There has to be the willingness, There's a very deep forgiveness in you that you could activate, There's a very deep self-forgiveness that will come in as you're really sincere, And will heal this wound. Right. How do you feel right now? I feel like I'm back at home. Right. Good. Yeah, That, Prema Sutta felt it was very auspicious when I felt that capacity for self-forgiveness in you that could be activated whenever you wish. Prema Sutta, Look, Prema Sutta is the same way, Saskia. Like, Hello? Hello? We're all like this. We're all like this. And you know, The more intelligent we are, The more we can get stuck in our heads. It's all good. But Prema Sutta will be watching you in a very clean way. I want you to understand that the very loving observation coming from Prema Sutta. Right. Right. Right. And you understand that Prema Sutta has to take care of her ship and who's near her, Who's around her. You understand that? Yes. Right. And if it's your, You know, If your life task, This is part of your life task, Then this will become very easy and clear for you. Right. Thank you. You guys, This, I'll tell you, This work is just like being dumped out, Two miles out with the sharks, But getting mothered along the way. Mothered over fear along the way. Yeah. Because we women, We're so crucial to the, For the journey, For it to spread, You know, For it to spread to our children. We have to become clear first. And then it, It goes everywhere. Like the, The New Zealand Maori, I, I, Who I love so deeply. And he said, You know, If a woman's awake, Everybody's awake. Because it spreads. Yeah. This has been an absolute joy. The level of work, An absolute joy. Premasut is just so grateful. I'm like, This is like, This is my dream to be able to work at this level with you guys. Okay. And see you tomorrow. Okay. Love you. Love you. Love you. Made the, Made the alma within you, The creator within you just get stronger and stronger and stronger. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And may you feel more and more able and, And to just allow this and to move forward in this flow of truth. Thank you. Thank you for coming, You guys. Blessings.