Awareness Satsang Question And Answer: Breathe In Love

Enter a treasure trove of truth! Bathe in the energy of love along with some very heartfelt seekers who bare their lives to help us all move into Truth.

Listening to this satsang provides a gateway to experience more of the silence within. It is this deep silence of our True Nature, which we all seek and can be realized.

The love power of this satsang even supported one member who spoke of a back pain issue. She felt like cement and was incapacitated. After the satsang, she experienced a miracle healing of her back pain being lifted. In Premasudha’s presence, the power of truth and love triumphs and heals. May you experience this too.

Breathe in the Love. It is in You.

Immense Love and Blessings

Transcript

The collective is a little nervous at this time,

And you can feel this,

We can all feel this,

And the thing is that if you're speaking to Amma and steering into truth,

Even the collective fear gets used to propel you deeper into truth.

It's not anything to worry about.

Just use everything to move more into truth.

You might feel the collective fear coming up,

And so you pray harder,

Connect up more,

And then you get propelled.

There's a great deal of universal support available at this time for people,

For seekers,

For the movement into truth,

So please don't underestimate that.

Yeah,

It's really,

Really strong.

Invincible.

It's there for you.

Just breathe it.

Breathe it.

Let it in.

Breathe it.

You know,

Take a breath.

Imagine light coming to you.

Imagine love coming to you,

Because it's there,

And it will help you physically then integrate this love in.

Yeah,

I just wanted to spell this out.

Yeah.

There's also another thing I want to say,

Which is,

And I may say it again tomorrow,

But a dear one had a dream about anger getting hold of them,

And it's again,

Like I talk about,

There's stuff going on in the collective which we all feel.

So,

I said to her,

For the next month,

For her to just go back to the dream and imagine,

Gently imagine,

Without fighting,

Okay,

Without fighting it,

Gently imagine the anger shrinking,

The rage shrinking.

Just imagine,

And at the same time,

For her to feel her best,

Make best efforts to remember what it feels like in Amma's arms,

And put Amma there in her imagination,

And me there sending love to her,

And try to feel some peace,

Okay?

So,

Even if she can't feel the peace and the warmth,

By wanting to,

She's steering her psyche in the direction she wants to go.

By imagining the fear,

The rage getting smaller,

And the love getting bigger,

She's steering her psyche in the way she wants to go.

You guys,

It's this stuff,

Taking this kind of care with the inner world that was my main vehicle of acceleration,

Apart from Amma.

Do you see what I mean?

And Urban Amma,

Who made me.

But I learned to take deep care of what was going on in my psyche.

That is like meditation squared a million times,

When you do those sort of things.

And we don't even know that we can,

That we're allowed to,

Do you know?

But it's just like,

It's the same kind of care that a mother has with an infant.

That kind of deep care,

You take care of your own psyche,

And of which way you want to go.

And it's this thing,

You guys,

That I kind of want to shake you a bit,

To remind you to do this.

It's often hard for people,

Because they're so focused outward.

But if you don't take care of this,

Of what's going on inside you,

Then how could you expect things to go well?

It's sort of like,

If you're not taking care of the baby,

How can things go well?

And truly,

We're so outward and alienated from ourselves that you know,

This is unusual.

Even among,

Like,

There are not many counselors that would even talk this way.

Even maybe spiritual teachers wouldn't talk about this level of self-care.

But it's really,

Really important.

And just doing your best with it will be good enough.

I mean,

Even if the anger doesn't seem to shrink very much,

That's okay.

It's like steering in the right direction,

In the way you want to go,

And just not fighting with it.

You know,

Not fighting with it.

But if she keeps going,

I'll tell you,

The day will come where the anger just seems to dissolve.

And she will feel this very much in her lived existence.

She will feel the light coming in in her lived existence in a whole new way.

Yeah.

So,

I'm just giving you permission to take care of your inner life.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Yeah.

Okay.

Any questions or observations or confusions?

And also,

It's okay if we just sit in silence.

If nothing's coming,

We'll just sit in silence.

Unless I get the feeling to call on somebody.

Yes,

Sweet one.

How are you?

There's a lot of that primal mom bond stuff coming up in the last couple of days.

And while it hurts,

It's helpful always to have your words in my mind around,

You know,

What it is that's happening.

And that it's what the blocks that have to clear in order to be able to allow more love to come in.

So,

I'm being with it.

Good.

I can feel this.

And I can feel that you're being with it more quietly than usual.

Like,

You've got this acceptance of the process more.

Like this,

Yeah,

The understanding of the process.

It's like,

Yeah,

Birth,

It hurts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sweetie,

I'll tell you,

The depth that you come into on the heels of the shift you're in,

You wouldn't trade it for the world.

Yeah.

And you're already beginning it.

I can feel it with this being more peaceful with the process.

Yeah.

That's really good.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

Yeah,

Good.

Good work.

Good work.

Yeah.

Good work.

God blessings.

Yeah.

So,

Sometimes,

You know,

You guys can do very deep work with me on the telephone.

Yeah.

And then,

When you hang up,

It's like,

Oh,

You're faced with integration.

And so,

Of course,

Then,

You know,

You want to be in contact with me all the time for safety.

But the truth is,

You are in contact with me all the time.

And yeah,

Sometimes,

I have to make space with you guys so you can feel,

So you can really integrate.

And the thing is,

I don't worry about you because I know the work's already been done in the phone call,

You know,

That you're safe.

The blueprint has already,

It's already occurred.

I know what you're going to be going through for the next while,

And I know the outcome of the shift.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this knowledge came to this one just by going through what you're going through many,

Many times,

Jenna.

Yeah.

It's like,

Jenna,

Whatever,

You know,

Whatever,

You know,

What's it,

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser and more loving.

It's good if you're steering in the right direction.

Yeah.

Good.

Good.

I'm happy to hear that.

Good.

Good.

Stephanie,

How are you doing,

Sweet one?

Do I need to move again?

Is it underwater?

Oh,

It's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah,

I mean,

I feel stuck still at times,

Like in the birth canal.

I've had glimmers of,

I guess,

Blue moments or some,

Just beautiful moments,

But I still feel,

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's like a roller coaster.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The thing is,

You see,

Stephanie,

You're God.

This is what you're having trouble with.

You're going like,

Oh,

I can be,

I can do this and this and this and get my self-worth.

I can do this and this and this job.

I'll do this and this and this to help Pramasutha.

I'll do this and this and this,

And I'll get my self-worth that way.

And then when your ego's threatened,

It gets really,

Really frantic about,

Oh,

I've got to support Pramasutha.

And everything Pramasutha says gets ticked and,

Yay,

Pramasutha,

Yay,

Pramasutha.

But bless your heart,

Sweetie pie.

But that's great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But you're God.

This is what you'll come to as you come down the birth canal.

You'll realize that you have infinite worth yourself.

And when you do things from that energy for Pramasutha or anybody else,

It's then such a gift.

But if you're doing things for people with this,

My identity as being a helper of this person,

It's not going to work.

Right.

Because you're God.

You're God.

You're of great value.

And even though you're deluded or you have been deluded with this,

Like deluded into think that you had to kind of prostitute yourself isn't the right word.

But it's a bit like that.

It's like,

Yeah,

But it's not the right word.

But it's,

You know,

You should never give up hearts of yourself to help somebody.

You help somebody with a full heart.

You bring yourself with you.

Right.

This is what you got to get.

Yeah.

You get this machine like desperation going.

It's not that.

No,

No,

No,

No.

Just your presence helps.

Your presence helps the satsang.

Your God self-presence helps the satsang.

Your God self-presence is a great gift to Pramasutha.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So just include it all.

It's like,

You're allowed to bring your whole self to everything you do.

Yeah.

Good.

Sweetie,

I know this is like a toughie,

But you'll do it.

So I'm not worried.

You're doing it.

You just don't want a baby who's been like four years in utero,

Right?

Yeah.

I remember Amma's doing everything.

The Creator's doing everything.

It's all orchestrated.

Yeah.

You know,

It's like motherhood.

If the love of the baby,

The love for the baby gets lost in the busyness of motherhood,

How could there be good as a result?

If it just turns into duties and obligations and the love gets lost,

Like there's no point.

It's the same principle with us,

You guys.

That's it.

That's it.

Yeah.

Remember,

You know,

The soul energy's invincible,

You guys.

I'll tell you,

It's just invincible.

This is my experience.

It's totally invincible.

It wins.

But,

You know,

With a sincere seeker,

It will win.

It will win.

You know,

If you're going the other way and you're telling your soul that,

You know,

You don't want it woven into your life,

Your soul will go,

Okay.

But nobody here's doing that,

So.

Michael.

Great,

Stephanie.

Sweet.

Yeah.

Good.

Good work,

By the way.

Michael,

How are you doing?

I'm doing pretty good,

Thanks.

You know,

Lately,

I just feel,

Or I see the love in the world a little more,

A little more.

But I don't always feel it,

But I can see it and understand it.

But it's not always there.

And I've had,

You know,

A couple of blue moments,

And I try and hang on to those for a little while.

And I also find it's a lot easier to call Amma in,

And I can feel her a lot more easily.

And again,

Sometimes,

Some days it's not there,

But,

You know,

Some days I feel I can call her in a lot more easily.

And that's when and that's when I feel like I'm very slowly incorporating a little more love,

You know,

Step by step.

We knew that,

You know,

Life would be uncomfortable for you.

I mean,

Partly,

You know,

Kids leaving home,

But also that shift you made over the telephone with me into the feeling of unconditional love.

So,

It's like the integration,

You know,

I kind of pulled you into a big step,

You know,

Because I really knew you needed to experience the unconditional love that is your true nature.

And that's also why I didn't want to see you personally.

I want to work on the phone.

So,

You'd have an experience inside you of this unconditional love.

Okay,

So now you're in integration.

Yeah.

So,

Yeah,

I mean,

You know,

The ego shows itself.

But the thing is,

You did experience that moment of total unconditional love.

And that's it.

Yeah.

That's it.

And,

You know,

The percentage of people in the world who've experienced it is very few.

You know,

Just feel it inside yourself without even a hug from Amma.

Yeah.

So,

It'll take some time to fully integrate.

And I did kind of pull you through a big step.

Yeah,

It was a big step.

But I knew you could do it.

So,

It's like,

Yeah,

The machinations of the ego,

You will see and feel them.

Yeah.

So,

It's not easy.

I know.

It's not.

And we go like,

Where'd it go?

And sometimes we feel the coldness of the ego,

The alienation of the ego,

And it's so uncomfortable.

And we feel so stuck in it.

And even having an extra piece of chocolate cake doesn't really do anything about it.

You know,

It doesn't dislodge that way.

You're just in it.

But I'll tell you,

Man,

That you had that physical experience of unconditional love.

So,

You are slowly going to be brought into an experience of more unity in yourself and your life.

And the main thing is keep the focus on the divine,

You know,

Listen to satsangs,

Listen to other videos,

Whatever that keeps your mind steering in the right direction,

Because that will speed it.

Yeah,

You know,

One thing that you said that,

You know,

I'm primarily a spiritual seeker,

Not a teacher.

Right.

That was really helpful.

Because I find myself sometimes wandering off.

And it's like,

Oh,

Okay,

Well,

You've done that now.

Now get back.

Now get back on on this.

So,

Oh,

Okay.

Yeah,

It's it's been.

And,

You know,

Sometimes it goes for even a day.

And then it's like,

Oh,

Wait a minute.

But then I try and get back on it.

Right.

Okay.

So,

When I told you,

You were primarily a spiritual seeker,

I'm basically saying to you,

You are unconditional love in human form.

And your job is to be that and steer towards it 24 seven.

Yeah.

This compartmentalization that you're talking about is just the ego stuff.

And it is the hardest thing with working with people because they will get get me right.

And I go,

Oh,

Great,

Done and dusted.

They get it.

And then off they go for another round the ego,

And I realized they didn't really get it at all.

But talking to you,

I saw you had that experience of unconditional love.

So it's lodged in your body.

So you can't run from it.

Right?

Yeah,

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

And sometimes it really comes up again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so okay.

And the ego will just do its thing.

And yeah,

Just remembering,

Remembering that everything is God remembering God,

As often as possible is basically the most accelerative thing you can do.

Just remembering.

Oh,

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

So that's all good.

Michael,

I mean,

You know,

Pretty man,

You're doing this as an older man.

I mean,

It's like,

That's,

That's pretty,

You know,

That's pretty brave.

That's pretty.

Yeah.

And you flow along with it.

So,

So good.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

Really.

Thank you.

That that was that was,

That was a really accelerative,

Accelerative experience.

It was really unconditional up.

Well,

I'll tell you,

Michael.

Okay,

This is what it's like for me.

I'm like,

Oh,

God,

If,

If Michael keeps going the way we're talking,

We're going,

I'm going to be talking to him for two years about this.

So I'm gonna phone him,

I want a phone call.

And I want to just go straight to the thing.

And remember,

We,

You were thinking about the phone call,

It wasn't,

You know,

Your ego knew that it was going to be deaf to the ego if you had this phone call,

But you stood up and you had it and you you did it.

And right.

I mean,

I mean,

What are we so scared of?

Right?

It's just unconditional love.

The tragedies were scared of it,

You know.

And also,

I really for hats off for all of you guys,

If you think of it,

Like,

Here's the world,

We're getting rattier and tattier and more in a mess.

And if in a world that is holding on to darkness so hard,

You're turning to the light and walking forward in it,

Then hallelujah,

Kudos,

Kudos,

Badge of honor,

Badge of honor.

Uh-huh.

Truly,

Because the energy it takes and the commitment it takes to keep the focus on the creator when,

You know,

It's,

It's a,

It's a,

It's a triumph of the human spirit,

Truly,

Truly.

And I'm not flattering you.

I am just observing and reporting.

It's a triumph of the human spirit.

And some of you have painful times,

Like it's life is painful for you.

It's not easy walking this journey,

But still you keep going.

My hat off,

Truly.

That's it.

You're all God,

You know,

You're the creator.

Alma is showing you your inward heart energy.

She's showing you the truth of you.

Yeah,

It's good.

I know it's kind of hard to swallow.

I mean,

I know from my own experience,

But it's true.

Yeah.

And just think how we,

You know,

We love our kids and think the creator must do this a million times more,

The unquantifiable,

Unquantifiably more.

Ah,

That's it.

And when you let the creator love you,

It makes you very strong.

Because this,

This is how you become the creator in human form.

You let the creator love you,

And then you have the strength to express this love in your,

In your world.

Yeah.

So,

Michael,

You're on track.

Just keep going,

Do your best.

It's like,

Yeah,

We can accelerate so quickly right now.

I mean,

This is the good news of the bad news.

Acceleration is so,

Yeah,

It's so,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Acceleration is so,

Yeah,

It's so,

Really,

Really.

Yeah,

It's like,

This is the good news.

So focus there.

That's the good news.

Maxi,

How about you?

How are you doing?

Oh,

In the big sense,

I would say much,

Much better and more loving for myself.

Yeah.

I can,

What to say,

I can feel myself more and take attention to it,

What's going on in myself.

And today it was just emotional,

Old stuff coming up so intense.

It was,

It was just like,

Oh my God,

Like somebody like slamming left,

Right,

Left,

Right.

And I was just like,

Kind of like,

Oh,

I can't.

It's wow.

It was very intense.

But then I made a decision to go home,

Take a bath,

Rest in my bed,

And just breathe and be with me,

Be with the kids,

Cancel.

And that was good.

And now I'm settled.

Yeah.

That's self-love.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's good.

Yes,

Sweetie.

It's like with that shift you made,

You made a big shift to,

You know,

Like Michael,

A big shift into this bigger understanding.

And yeah,

The ego,

It's uncomfortable.

The integration will be uncomfortable,

But it sounds like you're right on track with how to handle it,

Just what you did.

Okay,

That's good.

Because I was,

I was asking,

What is integration?

And what are the things we do do?

So yeah,

Thanks for this feedback.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

You're just doing it instinctively.

You just,

Yeah,

That's it.

Just whatever you're drawn to do that makes you feel better.

That's it.

Yeah.

Right.

And remember,

You're working with this crusty intolerance.

You know,

With yourself and with the world,

You know,

Like,

So just witness it and,

And witness how much it hurts you because it's so different from your true nature,

Maxie.

Yeah.

And so,

You feel how different it is from your true nature and what,

It's like a uncomfortable,

You know,

It digs into you.

It's like a,

It digs into your skin,

Like a rigid kind of framework that digs into your skin,

Like some kind of,

I want to say a chastity belt,

But it's,

It's not particular about the sex thing,

But the constriction.

And I used to wonder about those women walking around with metal,

Right in the most vulnerable areas,

You know,

Like it must've been so uncomfortable.

It's with this rigid intolerance that you are clearing.

It's,

I know it hurts.

It's uncomfortable and sweetie,

But you know,

I'll tell you Maxie,

It's why I'm so motivated to reach out to you and why I keep praising you.

Because I know it's this,

I know it's uncomfortable for you.

And you're just going to,

And you're already starting,

You just,

And it's going to increase,

You're just not going to believe it anymore.

Yeah.

It's like coming home and having a bath.

It's like,

Oh,

I just,

You just won't believe the things that your mind says to you anymore.

You'll just go,

Oh,

Really?

Meh.

You know,

Just,

It's just,

You know,

It's like you're the divine being and you're the witness of this ego that's from its conditioning and its past lives.

And it goes blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And you just witness it and go like,

Oh,

This has been an uncomfortable coat that I've been wearing my whole life.

Yeah.

It's like that.

Something that never fit well.

It always hurt.

And you get to take it off now.

Right.

Or at least unbutton it.

You got more room.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Unbutton it.

It's like,

You don't have to take the whole thing off,

But just unbutton it.

It's like,

I don't have to live this way.

You know?

Yeah.

But the mind goes,

And that's,

That's the way it is,

You know?

I mean,

Really,

I don't know how we all evolve because it's sort of an impossible task,

But you see,

It's our God self that lifts us out of it.

So,

That's how we evolve.

We get taken out of it.

We get taken into difficulty and taken out of difficulty by something beyond us.

Yeah.

And these difficulties that we go through are that,

Whatever the word is for that karma,

You know,

I don't pronounce well,

But it's where the arrow of the karma that we're to deal with this life has already been sent.

Mm-hmm.

So,

We're going to get it,

Whatever it is.

You know,

On day whatever,

You know,

Our car breaks down.

You know,

That's a karma.

Yeah.

But if we're,

The more centered we are in our God self,

The more we go like,

Okay,

Oh well,

I'll phone a tow truck.

You know?

It's not the end of the world.

And if we're really in our ego,

We go,

Oh no,

No,

How am I going to pay for this?

Oh no,

This is so embarrassing.

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

These difficulties,

That's like,

They're just like meh,

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

We don't have to react the same way.

We can lodge in truth.

We don't have to get so upset about everything.

We don't have to be so hard on ourselves.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll tell you guys,

When you stop being so hard on yourselves,

You will start feeling much closer to other people in a good way.

They'll feel more like brothers and sisters.

They won't bug you so much.

You won't get threatened by them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What happens is then you start seeing what they need.

Instead of being threatened by them,

You see where their hearts are broken and you just want to do something to help them.

Even if it's just smiling,

A smile.

Part of the reason why you get so that you don't feel you have to defend yourself is because you know that whatever is going to happen to you this life is just part of your karma that's been set in motion beforehand.

And nothing's personal,

You know?

Nothing's personal.

You know,

I remember there was a terrible incident in Berlin of somebody was terrible.

Somebody was killed.

And,

You know,

Alma's comment was this was between those two souls.

And,

You know,

Maybe it was a karmic,

You know,

A play of karma,

Karmic payback,

But it was between those souls.

Yeah.

It was the play of the divine occurring through the actions of those two that came from before this lifetime.

So,

There is so much,

You guys.

This is where it's like genuflect to the mystery.

Genuflect.

Don't boss life.

You bow to life in the understanding that whatever is happening there is so much bigger than you can comprehend,

And that whatever is happening is the most loving thing that could possibly occur.

You know,

The person who's self-realized is just,

They've just become their heart.

So,

There's a level that the person knows everything,

In a way,

And at the same time,

They know that they know nothing.

You know,

In the highest level of understanding,

You know,

If the Eastern Sage is that this whole universe emerges from our hearts,

It's just like the web of the spider.

The material for the web is released from the abdomen,

And the spider makes the web.

So,

Some of you guys heard my video about we have string theory now,

And they're saying the smallest unit,

It's not atoms,

It's strings,

These tiny strings,

Like the web of the illusion,

And it emerges from our heart,

And when we die,

It comes back to our heart.

This is where you guys,

You're lord and master of the universe and truth.

It all comes from you,

And when your ego dies,

This becomes like kind of ordinary.

It just becomes like,

Yeah,

The sky is blue.

When I look at my life,

I just feel like I've lived like Alice in Wonderland.

I've lived a total Alice in Wonderland life.

In the total leap between what I was conditioned into and what this one has come to understand and experience in herself,

It's like,

Oh,

Man.

Right.

So,

Everything is us,

But when we connect to something beyond us,

Our journey is speeded up.

And so,

Many of you walk around with like,

Oh,

I'm so unhappy,

There's this going on and this going on,

And I'm so unhappy,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

And I know it myself,

Don't worry,

And you forget to genuflect,

To go like,

Please,

I don't understand my life,

Please help me.

Why do I have these health issues?

Please help me.

You know,

What happens is you get so lodged in peace that your health issues just don't bother you so much.

They just don't bother you.

Whether they're there or not there,

It doesn't really matter.

It's okay.

If some of you need some courage to come forward,

I'm sending you courage.

Or if you're scared of like,

Getting in trouble,

I'm sending you more courage.

I'll say something.

Vivani,

Sweetie,

I mean,

I can't allow it yet,

Because I don't feel you listen to me.

Okay.

When I get this signal that you're listening to me,

I will let you speak.

Okay.

Thank you for that,

Amina.

I actually have told you that several times,

Sweet one.

Yeah,

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah,

I've said it to you bluntly several times,

Or written it to you.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

If you want to engage with me,

You have to listen.

Like,

Really listen.

Yeah.

But it's okay,

Sweet one.

I've been just like you.

So,

No criticism.

I just can't offer until it changes.

Yeah.

But I'm working with you energetically all the time.

Aha.

And so's Amma.

And once you get that,

You know,

That there's a bit of delusion going on,

And that maybe,

You know,

Then I'll tell you,

Nothing will stop you on your journey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not worried about you.

But I think you really need to listen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not worried about you.

But I think you really need to wake up to what you're doing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You guys,

You know,

When,

On my journey,

The way I am with you guys is just exactly the way I was with myself.

Do you understand?

It's like,

Yeah,

Please,

It's just the same.

I was equally as loving and as tough on myself on the journey.

And the toughness is why I can be a teacher now,

Because I was tough on like,

Um,

You know,

Seeing my ego being grossed out,

You know,

Going,

I just can't stand this ego.

I'm not going to allow it to continue.

I'm going beyond this.

I would see my faults and stark relief.

I would pray triply hard.

You see,

Because I was not so associated with teachers,

Life became my teacher.

So,

If I went off,

I would have a terrible fall in my life.

Like,

All my students would go,

I would have no money,

My mothering would go to hell,

And I would be forced to genuflect to the universe.

Like,

No way out,

Going broke,

Everything going sideways.

I would genuflect,

I would get humble,

I would bow down,

And within three weeks,

Everything would have changed.

The boat would have righted itself,

My income was coming back,

My mothering was coming back,

My psychology was coming back,

Everything was okay.

So,

With you guys,

When you guys need to make a shift,

I get very,

Very tough.

But if you don't have a teacher,

Then life will get hard with you.

A teacher makes it gentler,

Because you can hear it from a teacher,

And she can support you in the shift,

He or she.

Whereas in life,

You know,

It's just like crash.

And then you have to find the will to pick yourself up.

But,

You know,

I had these children,

So I had to pick myself up.

So,

It was like the school of hard knocks for a tough cookie.

Okay.

So,

Bhavani,

You have,

You're a little bit like I was.

You,

You know,

You want to tell the universe what you want,

And how you want to evolve,

How it's going to be,

And you need to listen,

And open up,

And admit the truth of what's happening.

Yeah.

And you have so much love for you.

I think of you several times a day and send you prayers,

Okay?

You and your son.

So,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Believe me,

I have huge empathy,

And Amma will be,

I know that she is with you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Good for you.

Everything,

Everything that was said today,

Everything from the beginning up to now,

Is really said just for me.

You know,

There was something for me in everything.

And,

Yeah.

So,

This week,

While I'm away from home,

And I'm with friends in Spain,

And you,

Yeah,

You,

Let's,

You know what I sent this email to Anna saying,

Anna,

You're going off.

You're leaving this knowledge behind.

You're being just kind of trivial and sociable,

And you're not honoring this training.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

I didn't know what was going on,

Because I felt so weird when I,

You know,

When I arrived in this holiday situation,

I felt really off,

And I felt like I can't enjoy it as much as I had hoped for.

So,

I felt weird,

And I couldn't do,

I didn't know what was going on.

And then this,

You know,

Email from Primasutra from you came,

And you said,

Oh,

You're going,

So you're not true to yourself,

And you're,

You know,

You're turning away from Amma and from your divine truth and everything.

And this hit me so hard.

It was like,

Oh,

My God.

But I could feel the truth of it.

I thought,

This is it.

This is why I felt so weird.

I was not,

I was not complete.

I was just a part of old Anna was here and looking for something new,

And I couldn't find it in my friends.

It was completely,

I thought,

What am I doing?

So,

And then your email came,

And then I really,

My ego took hold of me for one and a half days.

It really had me in his grip.

I felt so terrible.

I was so hardened.

I felt so lenient,

You know,

Separated from everything.

I felt I will never,

Ever be able to do anything right on a spiritual journey,

Things like that.

I prayed.

I always,

The only thing I could imagine was I crawl into Amma.

This is all I did all the time.

It was so,

This is all I could do,

But I felt so bad in my body.

I had like concrete in my heart and my upper abdomen,

And it was all concrete.

I was alone and separated.

And yeah,

So even the red wine on a beautiful,

You know,

Place looking over a valley,

Couldn't do anything about it.

But then I remembered your sentence,

You always saying to us and to me,

You're brought into it,

And then after a time,

You're brought out of it.

And this was like going in my head,

And I thought,

Okay,

I'll wait for that.

And it happened.

Yeah,

But you did that beautiful taking care of yourself by imagining yourself in Amma.

Like that was the genuflection.

That was the self-love.

You went there.

Yes,

I went there.

And yeah,

Yes.

But in this,

You know,

The minute I did it,

I wouldn't even believe in it.

But I did it anyway.

It doesn't matter if you,

I know we don't,

You won't.

You're just steering your psyche in the direction you want to go in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

And yeah.

So,

And now when you talked,

And you said to Stephanie,

You're God.

I mean,

This is like,

And all these sentences,

They opened my heart today.

And I can feel the softness there,

And then opening,

And I'm so grateful.

Okay.

Okay.

Now,

Anna,

You felt concrete in your heart and abdomen.

Okay.

I would feel that too.

I know.

Concrete.

And that was my signal that I was in concrete reality,

That I was beginning to outgrow concrete reality,

That it was my idea of concrete reality that was making me unhappy and I needed to change and to allow a transcendence.

And that's what you've done,

You see,

Anna.

This is a transcendence of the concrete reality.

You transcend your understanding.

So,

You start realizing,

Ah,

This is all God.

I'm part of God.

Everything I see is part of God,

And it's all just a big leela.

Okay.

Now,

This shift from the concrete to this transcendent is right where humanity is struggling.

And actually,

We're failing to make the shift consciously,

Which is what you're doing.

You're making it consciously.

That's what the satsang is for.

But you guys,

This is where we are in our era,

The shift from a concrete understanding to a more transcendent understanding that God is running the show.

Anna,

That's just beautiful.

And do you have any understanding of why you didn't feel fully present when you arrived?

Do you know what you were?

I'm just wondering.

It's in this moment,

I didn't have it.

And when I think back now,

Or I feel back now,

It's because I wasn't,

I was like,

A new sort of,

I had a new energy with something old,

Perhaps.

And I couldn't bring it in.

Or I don't know.

So yeah,

I think when you were thinking about coming,

You were thinking along the lines that,

Correct me if I'm wrong,

But when you were thinking about going,

Oh,

Good,

I'll see my old friends,

And I'll be able.

Oh.

Do you know,

That's,

It was as if part of you was wanting to run away from the truth of you into playing with the girls and being lighthearted in that old way.

Yeah.

And part of your ego is,

Has been chronically wanting to run away from your true nature,

Which is why I've remonstrated.

But I feel like you're cracking it now.

You're moving through that.

You're realizing that you're God.

So,

How can you run from God?

Right,

Yeah.

How can you run from a life that expresses God?

Like,

How could that be the right way to go,

Right?

So,

Basically,

In short,

I'm telling you that you had an ego death through this whole thing.

You've had an ego death.

But you know that,

Right?

It makes sense,

Yes.

Yeah.

That's good.

I can feel that last bit,

Me talking,

Was like too many words for you,

Which is okay.

For both of us,

It's okay.

Because you're so profoundly nonverbal in some ways.

Yeah.

It's all good.

It's all good.

It's all good.

What you will come to,

Though,

Is when you realize that my words come from that same nonverbal understanding.

That you feel,

In a way,

Sometimes,

That you have to protect from my words.

But actually,

I'm speaking from it,

Even though it's a nonverbal thing,

And I'm speaking from it.

It's like speaking from a place that's very close to silence.

Do you see?

Yeah.

This one's words come from places.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

So,

They don't have to be run from.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Yeah.

And you don't have to run from yourself,

And this is really,

Really good.

How much more time do you have with your pals?

Until Wednesday,

It's a couple of more days,

Yeah.

But you've got enough.

That's good.

That's good.

And all of them will have,

There'll be shifts in all of them as a result of all this,

Really.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Anyway,

You just need some time to yourself.

Very good work.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hannah has put up with a great deal of heat coming from this one,

I'll tell you.

She's a,

It's a,

It's very good.

Yeah.

Right.

It's good.

Well,

That's it.

All of you deserve the love.

Certainly coming from this one,

You all deserve it.

I'm the only one I can speak for,

You know?

You deserve the love that I have for you,

That I feel for you.

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't matter whether I'm,

Like,

Pushing you or whatever.

It's just like helping toddlers,

Guiding toddlers in the right direction.

Yeah.

And your,

You know,

Your true,

Intrinsic nature,

Your god-self,

Like,

You know,

You're all so priceless.

Yeah.

Hi,

Pramasutha.

Saskia.

Hi,

Sweetie.

Hi.

Oh,

Anna,

Thank you.

You gave me my keyword.

I'm lying in concrete.

I can't move my back,

And I feel I'm lying in cement.

It's okay.

It's not too bad.

It's getting better.

But I was kind of trying to understand,

And I had a similar experience going through this,

The kids leaving,

And I was doing fine going through it after the last question and answer.

And we had friends over for dinner that were gone the whole summer,

And I had a very similar experience after.

What was that?

It didn't feel good.

I don't know.

It just felt really,

Really off,

And I wasn't sure why.

And it's a similar situation.

It's trying to go back to the old,

But being the new,

Or trying to find the old.

It was very,

Yeah.

And then I didn't get it right away,

And then I twisted my back.

So I was forced to lie in my bed and understand it.

And now when Anna told the story,

I said,

Sure.

And I wasn't really scared.

I know that feeling from when I was a child,

When everything felt gray and concrete.

And I know the colors will come back,

So I'm okay with it.

But it's nice to get this understanding of it.

And I had a really nice experience.

When you say we're like toddlers,

Like toddlers learn from adults.

We speak a language,

And they copy it.

They speak exactly like us.

That's how they learn.

And I had that dream.

The dream is not the thing,

But I felt that part of me,

That witch burning,

Going away,

Hanging head,

Really sad,

Like a dog with a tail between the legs.

And then all of a sudden,

I felt in me,

You know when you speak to us,

Sometimes you're really tough.

And sometimes when you get to the core,

You get really soft and loving.

And that's all of a sudden,

I felt like for myself,

For that part of me,

With the hanging head.

And I even used the same words,

You know,

I said,

Sweet one.

And that feeling,

I kind of modeled your love.

Good.

Yes.

Yeah,

That was a really nice feeling.

So.

Right.

That's self-love.

That's exactly what I did.

You guys,

This is exactly what I did.

And I would lie in bed,

Built full of concrete,

You know.

And then I like,

I mean,

I twigged just with myself.

I'm going like,

Over time,

I thought,

Oh,

This is my ideas of concrete reality that keep me stiff and rigid and cut off.

And look at our architecture,

You guys.

We have this brutalist concrete architecture in the 60s.

And it is so profoundly ugly and the opposite of uplifting.

And this is what we've been trained in,

Our consciousness,

That life is just like,

You know,

Food,

A house,

And sex.

You know,

The lowest,

Lowest level.

Yeah.

Right.

And the twist,

You know,

You guys,

You will find as you go on,

Like,

The ego has at the bottom of the ego,

It's a twist.

There's pure reality,

Then kind of a twist,

And then the ego.

And the twist is where the little child twisted their perceptions to fit into the emotional climate of the family.

Yeah.

So,

You've got a twist.

You twisted your back.

This is a clearing of that inner twist.

You guys,

You see,

It's so simple.

The work is getting you guys to the space where you can hear this,

Where you can,

Where you can get it.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Good.

Your back may heal faster just as a result,

But maybe you need the time too.

So don't,

You may need the time looking at the ceiling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

I have the time now.

That's the nice thing.

Yeah,

That's the nice thing.

And the other thing is about when we have a concrete understanding,

It keeps our body stiff.

And as that loosens,

You'll start,

Your whole body will move with the fluidity,

With greater fluidity.

Men and women,

Flexibility,

Fluidity.

Yeah.

You think of how a baby,

How flexible a baby is.

You know,

It's just when we get older,

We get old and stiff,

But we don't have to.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

I don't do yoga,

But I'm,

I'm pretty flexible.

And it's because of my mental flexibility,

You know?

I mean,

I do walking yoga,

You know,

But I don't do all the exercises.

Good.

And I know with friends from,

Yeah,

You just have to just be yourself and,

You know,

Friends come and go,

You know,

What can I say?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

But it's shocking somehow when you see the juxtaposition of the vibration you used to walk around in and the vibration that you're walking in now.

It's good.

It feels like a choice,

You know,

It feels like there's a choice to be in the cement bed or not.

It's like,

It's like a door and it feels,

I can go through it now.

You know,

I can just lie here in my cement bed and be okay with it.

It feels like a door to something else.

Yeah.

Just like,

It's just coming up to consciousness on its way out.

You know,

In the way of the Tao,

In the book of the way,

The way of the Tao,

You say,

If you want something to shrink,

You let it get really big.

So,

When a complex is leaving us,

It gets very big and it takes up all the space,

But it's actually on its way out.

You can see this in the world,

That just before things end,

You know,

You know,

With the various ways of thinking throughout the ages,

When things are just there,

They're on their way out,

It becomes very,

Very big.

And then it just peters out,

But just,

Yeah.

So,

Yeah,

You just experience how much this concrete understanding has affected your body and your mind and your life and how dull it is,

How gray it is,

How dead it is,

Really.

Yeah.

And you're with it and you get brought into life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

How do you feel right now?

You looked a little.

Yeah.

No,

That is fine.

With me,

I'm fine.

What I hate about it is that I have to hurt friends,

Because I know from these friends that she counts a lot on me.

And when I move on,

I know the friendship,

Like you said,

Friends come and go,

But I know it's going to be really hard for her.

And that's she wouldn't want to come to this.

They wouldn't want to come to this.

I'm not sure.

I don't think so.

But that is something I will touch base on.

But if not,

Then I guess it's her choice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

In this right now,

Because we're at this tipping point,

Their people may surprise you.

You know,

They may surprise you.

So don't,

Don't.

Yeah,

Keep that in mind.

Like,

Don't,

Don't refuse.

Don't miss an opportunity to reach out a hand to somebody to help them.

Because remember what you were like,

You know,

It took you months to even.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

So just be generous with them.

And be truthful.

You can say,

Look,

You've just be truthful.

You found a new way or whatever,

But don't judge them.

Yes.

You're totally right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

It's all stuff sweetie is so human is like all of us.

It's better to be generous with people and risk feeling like you made an ass of yourself than it is to try to protect your heart and miss the opportunity to help somebody.

Yeah,

This is one.

I'll tell you,

This is one of this one strength.

I was always willing to make an ass of myself.

And you know what,

I find that extremely rare in all of you guys.

So if you get a little more like that,

That would be good for your journey.

Yeah.

Stephanie is kind of willing to do that.

Like I was,

You're willing to make it to Stephanie.

Are you there?

Are you asleep?

Is that just your picture?

You're willing to make an ass of yourself in through wanting to help people.

You risk it,

Right?

You do that.

That desire to help people is very strong in you.

Yes,

I do anything.

Yeah,

You would do anything.

Okay.

So just take your medal of honor there.

I just gave you a medal of honor.

Have I lost you?

Everybody's looking at me so confused.

I gave you a medal of honor.

It's like,

Yeah,

It's good.

You're like that.

Yeah,

You're like that.

It's like your God shines through.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

This one is just relentless.

I will just like poke and prod and do whatever I have to do to like get you guys going.

Yeah,

It's just like nothing stops this one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And even I'll be rude,

You know.

But it's love.

It's love.

Saskia,

You have,

You're flowering,

You know.

I feel you're flowering,

Like allowing this concrete and the twist to happen.

This is clearing your subconscious so that you can move into truth more.

This is awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we all hate being vulnerable.

It's terrible,

Right?

Yes.

Yeah.

But this is where God comes in when we're vulnerable.

We're,

You know,

We're just,

Yeah,

We're vulnerable.

Okay.

Thank you.

Anne,

Did you want to say something?

Did you want to say something?

You don't have to.

I just saw your picture come,

And I thought maybe you wanted to speak.

It's okay.

It's all good.

It's okay.

Lots of love.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Lots of love.

We're going to see each other tomorrow.

So,

Yeah.

So,

Vavani,

Take it lightly what I said to you.

Remember,

It comes from love,

You know.

It's like,

Yeah.

It's all good.

Yeah.

And all,

Yeah,

All of you guys.

Okay.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you.

And your growth is very fast.

This is,

There's real momentum.

Like,

I can feel more of you are moving,

And you're moving faster.

And,

You know,

You don't have to move too fast.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

It's at the right pace.

But it's lovely to see you getting it more and more.

And,

Yeah.

And you're getting it.

And just,

She screwed up her face.

Like,

No,

Not me.

I'm the outsider.

I'm not getting it.

Everybody said love to Anne.

It's not true.

It's not true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're getting it.

We're all getting it.

You wouldn't be at the satsang if you weren't willing to get it.

Sure.

Yeah.

Thank you.