Awareness Satsang: Learning How To Accept Your Humanity

Here, Premasudha and seekers from around the world share experiences that transcend the mind and the physicality of the earth plane.

The expansiveness, heart and love coming through helps empower listeners to more deeply embody our True Natures. Our technological society often demands physical proof of mystical experiences but this satsang allows us to sink into the truth within our hearts - who know that the magic is real. Humanity is meant to experience the divinity of the magical, mystical, and miraculous. Listen deeply to the stories of seekers who dare step beyond the limits of the ego into unconditional Love. You too, can do this. May those listening to this satsang, bypass the machinations of intellect and go straight to your heart.

Remember the Creator is real. Love is real. We are all infinitely loved. You are never abandoned.

Transcript

Things in the world are sobering.

But today,

My hope is,

And the intention behind the satsang is,

That we all step more deeply into our hearts,

Just as a byproduct,

Without crying or fussing,

You know,

Just a step more deeply into our hearts,

Because that is what solves everything.

Yeah.

And we can have moments where we just bypass the intellect.

We just go straight to our hearts.

We all know in our life we've had moments like that.

And my hope for satsang is that we all do this.

And don't,

You know,

Don't put it under a microscope.

It's just realize in two days that it happened,

That you stepped more into your heart during the satsang,

Even if during it you don't feel anything.

So don't,

You know,

Don't let your mind get in there and muck around.

Just keep it simple.

Because it feels like,

For all of you,

It feels like this idea of being a wildflower is communicating into your personalities a little bit,

And more loving than your current human consciousness.

Your soul is more loving,

And it's way wilder than,

You know,

21st century technological society.

Yeah.

So,

I mean,

Just getting that in your head,

That your essence is wildly loving,

More like a wildflower.

I mean,

If you have to have a human image or a physical image,

You know,

You sprout and you blossom.

Right.

And this work is really associated with wanting to give you a spacious embrace so you can blossom,

So you can flower.

Yeah.

There,

You know,

Some of the emails that you guys have been writing,

There's lots of growth.

There's ferment,

You know,

Soup,

Stewing,

And growth.

In some of you,

The,

I don't want to say beginners,

But the,

You know,

The early years of the journey,

It's hard work in the early years.

But somebody wrote to me with an exquisite breakthrough,

And it comes.

So,

Anybody who's struggling,

The struggles,

Then the breakthroughs,

The struggles,

Then the breakthroughs.

It's how it goes.

Night and day,

Night and day,

Night and day.

Okay.

But I actually told her that I wanted to ask her to speak,

To speak to you about it,

Because this work is real.

And I know you know this,

And I know that your egos go,

Hmm,

This is kind of far out,

Maybe some of you sometimes.

But it's like,

It's only far out,

Because our ego understanding is so narrow.

Please understand this.

It's not this work.

It's the narrowness of the ego that is the trouble.

It's a big comedy.

But anyway,

It's Jenna,

And I'm going to ask Jenna to just say a few words about her experience of the opening,

Because I'll tell you,

Our souls,

We are souls,

Okay?

And sometimes our souls break through.

So,

Jenna,

Yeah,

Can you just talk about just some of your recent experiences with the opening,

What it felt like,

Or what you understood?

Sure.

Good morning,

Everybody.

What it felt like was that I,

It felt like I was being guided by a loving presence.

And through the experience,

Which was about 24 hours,

I was shown about a year's worth of my life in a movie,

Kind of a movie sequence.

And I was shown that even in the moments where,

In all of the moments that it was all loving across the board,

And so it took me back and showed me the connection and the meaning of,

Yeah,

Of all of it.

What it felt like was,

Pramasutti,

You talk about how we can never be abandoned,

Right?

That the healing around abandonment comes when you realize that we can never be abandoned because we're so,

We're so held.

And the experience,

Yeah,

That's what it allowed me to feel,

Is that while it feels like we are,

We can feel like we are so alone on this journey that we are,

Like it's beyond,

It's beyond words how not alone we are.

And when you say that there's something beyond us that is doing this,

And that we're really just finding out what our soul has already chosen,

That's what the experience felt like.

And it was such a relief to,

Yeah,

To see that in retrospect.

Right.

It's like a little kid waking from a nightmare and being able to climb into his parents' bed.

What a relief.

It's the same,

You know,

It's kind of not too different for us,

Really,

When we realize that,

You know,

We're always accompanied.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

And the opening had a tremendous,

Wonderful,

Expansive feeling,

Jenna,

Didn't it?

And then you had a little bit of contraction afterwards,

Which is how it goes.

Right.

A little bit of discomfort afterwards as,

You know,

As the ego dies,

Basically.

Yeah,

That's how it is.

And you guys know this?

The more you know it,

The more you can face higher discomfiture without worrying about it.

Right.

Yeah,

Funny,

That's,

Jenna,

That was for you kind of to,

It's like that you're about to do that,

To be able to handle higher discomfiture without worrying about it.

That was part of our session together where you accepted more of your humanity.

Right.

You guys,

When you accept your humanity more,

It's funny,

When you accept your humanity more,

Your faith goes way up.

Okay,

Actually,

That is the thing that's holding most of you back.

You have trouble accepting your humanity,

So you don't get the heights from the journey.

Actually,

This is it.

And this is,

Of course,

It would be this way in a technological culture.

Of course,

It would be this way.

But maybe this is today what's part of what's going to lift is,

Because your humanity is both like your worst nightmare.

And at the same time,

It is what allows you to transcend your dream,

Because you have to do it in human form.

Yeah,

Basically,

You have to accept your humanity.

Okay.

I'm assuming you said something to me this week that you get to be holy and human,

And that really dropped.

So,

I wanted to say that.

That's it.

It's like you get to be,

Okay,

You can only be H-O-L-Y when you are W-A-O-L-Y human.

You get it?

You can be holy when you're wholly human.

Yes.

Okay,

And I'll tell you another thing I realized is that part,

If we just go forward with part of ourselves,

If you spell part backwards,

It's trap.

We get trapped in a part of us.

I mean,

English is so beautiful this way.

The towel of English.

This human part is really,

Really important.

It's like a mom is going to be a flawed mother.

She will be flawed.

I mean,

We all are.

But only the mom can really mother the child in the biggest way.

And if you had a robot,

A perfect robot,

Mothering a child,

You would create a sociopath.

Because it's like this.

It's like the human part's messy.

Human part's messy.

All of you guys have trouble accepting your humanity right across the board.

Or I'll tell you what you have had until today.

Just make a leap of faith.

Yeah.

And to just total acceptance,

You know?

Yeah.

Right.

It's probably,

You know,

The baby,

When it kind of accepts the inevitability of its birth,

It probably comes.

But I realize that it just can't hold on anymore.

It just doesn't want to come.

Yeah.

Suzanne,

I'm going to just,

Your dream.

Can I just talk about it and weave it in?

Okay.

So,

Suzanne had this wonderful dream about,

You got in a truck,

Right?

A big,

Powerful truck,

And you were driving it.

Okay.

Now,

This,

Again,

Is another auspicious dream,

Kind of dream that can happen on the journey.

And when a woman does it,

She's empowering with her feminine nature to come forward.

She's coming out of the kind of constriction and rules of the patriarchy,

And she's coming forward with her true feminine power.

And I'm sure the same thing happens with guys,

But I've never heard a guy who's never told me a dream about getting in a truck.

But for women,

It's like this dream is a big,

Sort of a big step on the journey.

It's a very auspicious event.

Yeah,

Right.

It's just when a woman can flow with herself without all the na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nattering.

Okay,

I want you to stay with yourselves.

This satsang's a little slow,

But it's slow on purpose.

That's it.

Because the point of the satsang is all of you dropping into your hearts more.

Right.

Just dropping into your hearts.

Into your limitless hearts.

I'm going to talk a little bit about,

Okay,

So you guys,

What I'm going to say to you is true.

Right where we are at this coming out of the young soul,

Which I was talking about last time,

And about we're coming beyond,

We're going out of this fixation about material things,

Judgments,

We're moving into an expanded understanding,

Or an evolutionary leap.

Okay,

So right at this point where we are is the most dangerous point on the evolutionary ladder of these kind of civilizations.

And,

You know,

Our soul's doing this for fun.

So,

You know,

No matter what happens in our worlds,

For our souls,

It's like building sandcastles,

You know,

Just having fun.

But right where we are,

30% of the civilizations don't make it.

And the,

You know,

Whatever figures are,

Like in our case,

Humans,

We would then,

Our souls would be sort of transplanted into some other kind of animal or organism to continue the evolution.

You see,

It wouldn't stop our evolution,

Even if the earth goes sideways,

If it all goes sideways here.

We would just continue elsewhere.

And personally,

I feel that it's our strength and our weakness of the human.

The thing that has been why we have survived so well is exactly the same reason why we could really,

You know,

Come to an end,

Is our problem-solving ability.

We're so good at problem-solving that we don't listen to our hearts,

We don't pray.

We just solve it,

Like at an ego level.

We solve things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys,

I'm wanting to help this shift into your heart.

So,

I want you to understand about how to shift into your heart.

You shift into your heart when you're facing problems that are insolvable,

And your heart solves them.

So,

For me,

When I came very unstuck from my life,

The problems were so immense that it was not solvable on an ego level.

It was only solvable at a much higher intelligence,

Through my heart.

And that's what set me off on the path of the heart.

Do you understand?

So,

We're the human race.

As a race,

That's where we are.

We're getting so many problems on so many levels.

Economics,

Plastics,

Food,

Pesticides,

You know,

The threat of nuclear in Israel and also in the Ukraine is just coming up very strongly right now.

And remember,

Swami said,

You know,

It could all come to an end very soon.

But if it does,

Very soon.

But if it does,

Just think about God,

Okay?

Really,

You think about God when you pass,

You transcend.

You then don't have to come back or be reincarnated,

You know,

In something beyond being human.

Yeah.

See,

I'm hoping that you take the step back into your heart and,

You know,

Contemplate God more,

Actually,

In every moment.

Because we're at this point of extremis right now,

You guys.

And,

You know,

The sad thing is that,

It's like I've talked about,

We've had decades to come out of it,

But we've been a little slow.

But maybe,

You know,

There's going to be this last minute shift.

Yeah,

I want you to step back into your hearts.

We have no control over what's going to happen.

What we have control over is what we do in ourselves.

Yeah.

Funny,

I'm feeling like,

As if I'm saying inside myself,

I'm saying to all of you guys,

Come closer to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

As if I'm saying to you guys,

Like,

Come on,

Cuddle up a little more.

Yeah.

Closer.

Yeah.

Closer to me.

Closer to your own hearts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

We're totally safe,

No matter what happens.

We've got,

You know,

We're just held so by our souls.

And if we use everything in our,

You know,

Individual lives and what's happening in the outer,

If we use it to become,

You know,

More prayerful and closer to our hearts,

Then it's all a blessing.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

I mean,

The truth is the true reality underneath everything,

And that is what's running the show.

That's it.

And you're limitless.

You are without any limit at all.

That's it.

And remember,

What we're doing right now is going all over the world.

It's affecting the whole world.

And not only that,

The whole world is one.

So,

Maybe this is what is So,

Maybe this is what is going on with the whole human race.

You know,

Because it's like,

You know,

With the angels,

You know,

Somebody's driving in a car,

And,

You know,

It's not their turn to die.

And there's,

You know,

Another car.

Like,

Sometimes angels will intervene,

Right?

And they steer things so the cars don't hit each other.

When if it was left to,

You know,

Physical reality,

They would have.

Okay,

So maybe there's going to be a,

What's the word,

Deus ex machina,

Or whatever that word is,

For something that happens that changes everything in a good way.

You know,

People suddenly wake up.

Yeah.

And everything changes.

Or maybe they drop one nuclear bomb somewhere,

And the whole population goes,

No!

Worldwide.

You know,

I could imagine something like that.

You know,

It's like,

It's not to be,

You know,

Depressed,

But be thoughtful about where we are.

Okay?

Be really thoughtful.

Because we have,

You know,

We've,

We've heard so much bad news,

You know?

So,

We go like,

Oh,

Yeah,

Meh.

Like,

Oh,

I just can't deal with it.

Probably will never happen.

It's like,

I was on a plane once,

And the engine burst into flame,

And there was a loud bang.

And at that time,

I was a journalist.

And,

You know,

After this was over,

And we were on a new plane,

All safe,

I went around,

And I asked everybody what their response was.

Well,

There was one guy who said,

Well,

You know,

I just thought to myself,

The bang you hear,

You don't have to worry about.

And he was talking from World War II,

Right?

So,

If you heard the,

If you heard a bang,

You were okay,

Because the bomb hadn't hit you directly.

But that might not be what happens on a plane when you hear a bang,

You know?

Maybe that bang,

You know,

You're going to be toast.

So,

You see,

Our egos have a whole bunch of ways of just kind of disconnecting and denying a reality and just continuing on.

Just like the guy who said the bang you hear about,

You don't have to worry about,

Whereas on a plane,

You do,

Actually.

But we do this internally.

So,

It's not to get too depressed about events,

But to use it to come deep into your heart and become very prayerful.

Yeah,

So you use this time well.

Okay,

So,

There's a wall of separation that some of you have put up between you and me,

Just because of this wildness,

And that's a big mistake.

You know,

It's not bad,

And it's just coming up to be cleared,

But there is no separation between the two,

Between us.

And I am speaking,

Just think of,

I'm speaking from your soul level more,

You know?

So,

Embrace it.

Embrace it.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Really embrace.

Don't judge.

Don't judge me.

It is some of the best things I ever did,

These things,

I'll tell you.

Yeah.

Right.

Otherwise,

I would have been like a woman,

Like my mom,

Being in a big house and crying every day.

Yeah,

No,

Don't put up any separation.

Really notice if you're feeling separate at all,

Because this is coming up to be cleared,

And it's just this misunderstanding,

And it's not helping you at all.

Yeah.

This habit of you feeling separate isn't helping you at all.

It is,

It is what is so dangerous on the planet right now.

Really,

You know,

What I've told you could actually,

And I think it has for some of you,

Will find it thrilling at the level of the beneficence in the experience and the ability of a human being to be wild.

You guys?

To be wild.

Yeah.

Our souls are wild.

Amma's example is wild.

She gave her family's jewelry away,

Even though she got beaten.

She hugged people,

Even though she got beaten.

She was so deserted by her family that the animals came and fed her.

So,

She was outside without any,

And in these expanded states,

And without any sustenance or anybody taking care of her,

And the cows would come and nurse her,

Or the birds would drop fish by her.

Like,

All of nature came to take care of her.

Right.

And this experience is,

It resulted in the experience of tremendous faith,

And it's also a story of the total,

You see,

You know,

It was like,

As the feminine,

I'd been left,

You know?

I mean,

I had these little kids,

And I had so little support.

And it's dangerous.

It's dangerous,

You know?

And this is happening all over with single moms and stuff,

And it's,

And they're not getting support,

And it's dangerous,

You know?

And,

You know,

I cracked wide open,

Because I had been nursed by a mom who'd had a nervous breakdown,

You see?

So,

Who was in a nervous breakdown.

So,

This was all sitting there,

Waiting to come up and be healed,

And so it did.

But we have lots of children being taken care of by moms who are not feeling very stable.

This is part of the foolishness of how we're proceeding,

And why we all need to just come directly into our hearts,

You know?

Wildly into our hearts.

I mean,

What's there to lose,

Really?

Really,

For most of us,

What's to lose?

And we can ask that,

That we live from our hearts in a way with,

You know,

Minimal fuss.

So,

It happens organically,

Seamlessly,

In the highest good way,

With all the support we need.

You can do it.

You guys,

You can do it,

And you will feel a moment where you have a choice to step more deeply into your heart or not,

To respond more from your heart.

You'll feel it.

Just do it.

Just do it.

It is the safest thing.

And maybe humanity will,

You know,

Last a little longer.

Yeah.

Even telling people around you that you love them doesn't have to be big.

It can be small.

What's that one small step for a man and one big step for mankind,

Right?

The guy on the moon said that.

So,

We can do this for ourselves,

These small steps into more of our heart,

But it's a big step for the world,

And maybe a big step beyond these kind of nuclear threats right now,

Because this is just so stupid.

It makes me think of Baba saying,

You know,

The men's ego's gotten bigger ever since the hunting phase,

And going like,

It's culminated in Putin and the rest of them.

These huge monstrous egos.

And,

You know,

They'll have female counterparts.

It's not just the guys.

Okay.

So,

Questions or comments?

I'm interested to hear what your response to this thought saying is.

Hi,

Ms.

Tudor.

Yeah.

Vivani.

Yeah.

It just felt like it fit,

And it's a continuation of what I spoke last week about my dream and being in the creek and the flesh flood that I was warning about.

So,

On our drive from New York City here to the Chicago MA Center,

We did actually,

The two US numbers in the car went off with warning alerts for a flesh flood,

Where we were.

At that time,

We were driving.

It wasn't raining a drop,

But there was a flesh flood warning for that time,

For where we were driving,

And we were just about to pull in and sleep.

So,

We did,

And we slept only a few hours and kept going,

Because we wanted to get to the ashram on time for Amma's arrival,

And we did.

And when we woke up,

One of the Indian passengers who's been traveling in our car since the Los Angeles program had a dream.

In her dream,

There was a flood,

But there was Amma in Krishnabava recording a video,

And she said that in her dream,

There was a mix of Western buildings and ashram buildings,

Like Amitabh Puri ashram buildings,

And Amma was recording a video for,

You know,

Distribution,

Whoever was going to see it,

Not to worry,

Because she's there.

That's it.

That's it.

And we're here.

Our true natures are here,

Too,

Which Amma represents.

And Amma's inside you.

She's showing you your true nature,

Right?

Right.

And inside yourself,

You can take your ego for hugs to your true nature,

Truly.

Truly.

Right.

It's very,

Very beautiful.

Yeah.

Please come forward and speak.

Please do,

Because it's the thing that's going to save you,

Really,

Is just showing who you are.

Yeah.

Hi,

Prima Sutta.

This is a Tibet talk.

There are some screaming voices inside of myself,

Some old monsters coming up.

And it's,

Oh,

My God,

They're really yelling and screaming.

And I don't know in what,

In craziness or in fear of some past lives,

Probably.

Uncomfortable for you,

Sweet Lord.

I had a weird dream last night,

But I cannot really tell it because it was a little,

It was not really clear,

But it seemed like there was some dark,

Some boogeyman or something.

But it wasn't really me seeing it.

I had a little distance from it.

It's weird.

I don't,

Probably,

I saw a person with a boogeyman,

But it was me.

It was not me seeing the boogeyman.

Weird.

And then.

No,

That's not weird.

That's wonderful.

And then,

But then I really,

I was so,

I had such a resolve that this time this boogeyman won't get me.

And also,

I won't endure.

It's about maybe our session with the stoicism.

I was really determined that I will get some help.

I won't,

The boogeyman or this dark,

Whatever it was,

Won't get me.

And I was,

I was insisting on getting help because there were some people around and seemed like they wanted to ignore me and the boogeyman or something.

And I was insisting,

No,

This time,

No,

I won't be victimized or something like that.

And I insisted on,

On getting help.

Good.

It was in your dream.

You,

The boogeyman was after someone who was you and not you.

Right.

That is a point higher on the mountain.

This is fantastic because you see,

This is what happens,

You guys,

As you develop.

You're able to watch your body,

Mind,

And you're a little detached and you're aware of what your body,

Mind,

Your personality is going through and you're able to observe in a neutral way.

That is basically the key to enlightenment.

Okay.

So,

When you set this dream,

Atiba,

I got the sense of you have jumped higher.

And the fact that you're willing to receive help,

Fantastic,

Because so many of us hide.

We pretend to be seekers,

But secretly we're,

We're hiding.

We're not,

We're not being true.

We're secretly repressing ourselves or secretly being a disassociated.

We're secretly playing games with it.

Atiba,

Yay.

Happy.

Really.

And the boogeyman's nothing.

It's just smoke and mirrors.

Really.

Yeah.

So,

There's,

There's pain in the heart and I do not really know where it comes from.

Stop.

Like screaming,

Screaming,

Screaming.

You're feeling physical pain or emotional pain?

Emotional pain.

Okay.

Right.

So,

This is how the child felt.

You've dropped down into the inner child a little more.

You're allowing more truth.

So,

You're feeling this pain that you have been in,

You've walled it off.

So,

Now you're feeling it.

So,

Now it's,

It's,

It can heal.

Okay.

Yes.

It can heal.

Right.

Right.

And sweetie,

You know,

I felt pain this morning around what's going on in the world.

Do you know?

Everything's one.

Atiba,

I was very happy after our session because I felt that you'd broken through some old limits and that you were going to be able to evolve more easily now and accept your humanity more now.

So,

I,

I am thrilled.

Absolutely.

Truly.

Absolutely.

I mean,

This will help the world.

Truly.

You see,

When we accept our humanity and respond to our humanity,

We help the world.

When Atiba,

You know,

Becomes more real,

She helps the world.

More real and honest,

She helps the world.

Yeah,

You guys,

You're so beautiful.

Okay.

Please.

Please,

Your beauty is so,

Really touches me.

Yeah.

Thanks,

Atiba.

Thank you.

Shivali,

Did you?

Yeah.

Did you have something to say?

Shivali?

Hello.

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

Can we see your face?

Can you?

Oh,

I,

There is no light here in this room.

I'm very sorry.

Okay.

Well,

That's okay.

It's okay.

So,

How are you?

Yes.

Yes.

I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm good.

How are you?

This was such a beautiful,

Truly beautiful satsang and to wanting to embrace your humanity.

But I,

For the past week and a half,

I had been going through something a little bit on the side of true surrender.

There was another level of surrender that was made possible to me where I had,

I had made it a past tense.

I was living as if I had already surrendered and I was trying to live that in that way.

I knew that was possible because of grace.

And then something else,

There was a lot of spiritual concepts also started to drop.

And I am kind of trying to make sense of this kind of a silence and emptiness that is engulfing me,

Which is peaceful also.

But at the same time,

I'm not,

The mind,

When the mind is not working and I'm feeling there is a lack of,

I don't,

I don't,

I feel a little empty.

I could say,

You could say for the past few days when everything I was surrendering and the self was kind of dropping off at another level.

There is this feeling of emptiness and it feels and discomfort,

Uncomfortable and it's been going on for a few days.

So,

I've been wanting to talk to you about it,

About the laws of- No,

No,

No,

Good.

Good.

Sweetie,

You're a resident right now,

Right?

A medical resident?

Yes,

Ma'am.

Yeah.

So,

Sweetie,

You know,

You're trying to do deep spiritual work at the same time as you're in,

You're basically,

It's extremists,

You know,

With all the hours of the work in the hospital.

Do you understand?

So,

You see,

I want to shake you a little bit because you see,

You're trying to evolve yourself with your ego and so you will end up in emptiness because this whole sequence that you've done with the surrendering,

It's just your ego coming in and you jumping through hoops of your ego.

It's not real.

It's not real.

It's not real.

You're just circulating in your ego,

But it's like,

Of course,

You're just,

You know,

You're in this physically very demanding situation and you're trying to be a high-level spiritual seeker,

Like,

And it's like,

It's very difficult to do this.

But I want you to see your ego's grabbed it because this is where,

Which I bump up against you,

Sweetheart,

And you have so much to give.

You have so much spiritual capacity,

But you're a little blind to how your ego runs you,

Right?

Yes.

Right.

It's very humbling,

Right?

Yeah,

It's horrifyingly humbling sometimes.

Everything has been a humbling lesson for me,

A lesson in humility and loss of pride.

And as much as I do understand the significance of this,

There is something of an ego structural loss that makes you feel kind of empty,

Like this thing.

So that's been going on since a few,

Some two,

Three days,

I guess.

Yeah,

Well,

Sweetie,

It is empty here,

You see.

The truth of it is,

It's utterly empty.

We're in just a hologram.

There's nothing,

Nothing of value,

Really.

It's totally empty.

And when you really get that,

Then love can fill you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Right.

You see,

Love comes into your body as you love and embrace Shivali and accept her.

Yeah,

And embrace and accept her mistakes with kind of,

This kind of a,

You know,

This is what it's like to be human.

Right.

But the hologram is empty,

You guys,

And this is why all the pursuit of wealth and things,

It doesn't work at all.

It's just empty.

And we can experience this emptiness in our ego,

Like,

You know,

We will get,

We will have this experience of emptiness,

But then the next step is surrender to God.

Just surrender,

Like this whole thing's empty.

Okay,

Please help me,

God.

And then with a bit of luck,

Or,

You know,

If you're really sincere,

Your body will start to fill with divine love.

But Shivali,

Sweetie,

You know,

It takes years.

You know,

Some people go and sit on a rock for,

Like,

15 years,

20 years,

You know?

It's kind of unrealistic to think that it could happen so easily for you,

You know?

You know,

It's not like just going to medical school.

It's way easier.

It's way different than that.

It's like I'm talking to you about the wildness of my experience,

You know?

It's like,

It's not like the usual,

I mean,

We,

All seekers start off trying to put the spiritual journey in the same kind of boxes as training,

You know?

And it's not.

And you're not doing anything wrong.

Like,

Sweetie,

Just keep coming for the sasaks.

You'll get it.

You'll get it more and more.

It will just seep in.

And you're very sincere.

I know you are.

And you've got a heart of gold in there.

Yeah.

You've just,

Your head is just over-trained.

Like all of ours,

Right?

We're all like this.

But one of the things getting older does is it gives you experience of how much the head orientation doesn't work.

And that's all you need,

Really,

Is just a little more experience in how it doesn't work in the spiritual journey.

But you got the,

You accepted the emptiness as that it's a hologram and it's all empty.

And that's why pursuit of wealth and beauty and all this stuff,

Never works.

There's always,

It always brings us to sorrow because there's nothing here.

It's just like a hologram.

It's going to disappear very,

You know,

Hopefully not very soon.

It's like there's,

Amma says that the whole universe is like a tiny bubble within herself.

So,

The universe is a tiny bubble within all of ourselves.

And when we're finished with the earth plane,

It pops.

The hologram dissolves.

How are you feeling,

Shivali?

I wouldn't,

I feel a little empty thinking,

Okay,

Maybe why,

Why would the,

I don't know,

The whole strangeness of the whole journey,

It all feels so surreal,

You know,

Suddenly.

Doesn't it,

Ladies and gentlemen?

Doesn't it feel surreal?

Yeah.

Is it even possible?

Is it like,

Yeah,

I mean,

I think the intensity of the surreality of this whole journey is hitting me right now.

I think that's what the intensity of the whole journey,

How much it was and how magnetic it was just pulling you into and into it.

And no matter how much each and every one of us suffered in the journey,

It was like a moth to a flame kind of a thing.

The way it pulls us is like a moth to a flame,

Or we get burned up by the flame.

Yes.

The whole journey.

Yeah.

Okay.

So,

This is why I come back to,

You know,

Amma said,

You can get enlightenment if you just say the mantra for three years every moment.

Or I would say you could concentrate on your heart area as you go through your days.

Keep part of yourself focusing on your heart so that you're kind of inside your heart as you go through your days.

Keep holding your consciousness back there as you speak and do your task.

And if you do that,

That will help open the doors for God to come into your heart.

Do you see?

Just that focus on your heart is,

That is like opening a door out of your intellect.

And when you focus on your heart area like that,

God can come in,

The Creator can come in,

In a very grounded way.

It's the safest.

You can focus on the forehead in the same way,

But that can create mental instability.

If you focus on your heart area,

It,

The universal energy can come in without disrupting us too much.

You see,

But most of us are too entranced by our minds to do it.

So,

I say this,

And it often just gets dropped,

But maybe Shivali,

You will be the one who does it,

Who does focus on your heart,

Keeps bringing your attention there day in,

Day out.

You would see great results if you do it,

But you might feel very bored and resistant to doing it.

Yeah,

Exactly.

That's what I was,

I'm telling,

That is exactly,

That is happening.

See,

I'm focusing on the sense of being,

And maybe like what you said,

We're on the heart or something,

But it just feels a little bored or a little this thing,

And then,

Yeah.

So,

Guess who's bored?

Your mind is bored.

Your ego is bored.

They don't want you to do it.

Your ego is bored.

They don't want you to do it.

They want you to keep going round and round.

I know this is a rub,

You guys.

This is what we're faced with.

I mean,

This is,

This is the joke.

So,

I would go self-compassion for,

That was always my bridge,

The focus on self-compassion for having trouble doing it.

See,

Because otherwise you'll,

You'll,

You,

It's easy to go into blaming,

Blaming oneself because we're not doing it.

Just go into self-compassion for how hard it is to actually do the things that kill the mind and the ego.

You see,

We get steered away from them because our ego and mind don't want to die.

Yeah,

That's why it takes years,

Shivali,

Really.

This is why.

You know,

When you get like me,

Then you don't,

You just don't want to do anything else.

You see,

The more you know it's just an empty hologram,

The easier it will be for you to drop into your heart.

So,

When you get older,

You see a million ways that it's all just,

You know,

That it's just delusion,

That nothing except the truth brings happiness.

Yeah.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh,

Sweetie.

I feel you've been very humbled and I,

What I want is,

I'm sending you a lot of love right now and a lot of grace,

And there's a lot of universal grace for your sincerity because you're deeply,

Deeply,

Deeply sincere.

So,

Patience and self-compassion.

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweetie.

See,

When we've got like strong wills and everything,

We bang up against a true reality and it's like,

Oh,

It's hard.

It's hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I got very humbled along the way.

You have to be humbled.

Our egos have to be humbled.

Otherwise,

We keep doing,

Making the mistakes,

You know.

Yeah.

Right.

You're like a little adorable three-year-old who's trying to figure out how to earn her living and be independent.

It's just going to take time,

Sweetie.

But this focusing on your heart,

If you can just even see how tough it is and give that over to the Creator.

So,

It gets easier and easier.

It will get easier and easier.

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweet one.

Yeah.

Okay.

Anybody else?

Questions or comments?

Hi,

Pramasutha.

Good.

Stephanie.

Thank you,

Everyone,

For sharing and your story,

No matter how many times you've mentioned what you've gone through with the loony bin.

And I think it just gives me hope that there is something beyond the physical world and that shamanism is real,

That the ancestors,

The angels,

They're all real,

That we are not crazy,

And that this is how we are meant to live.

And that is a natural part of humanity.

And to embrace that natural part is an embracing of our ama energy,

Of our soul energy,

And the humanity of how the magic of the world and how there's so much help around us.

So,

It just – your bravery and the stories that you've walked through and experiences help me see true reality more.

So,

Just deep gratitude and thank you.

Yeah.

It was like,

I was a fool.

Fool in the fairy tale.

I was going like,

Goes,

What the F?

I was going,

What the F?

But it's like,

Well,

You've just sold your heart,

Right?

It's like,

Yeah.

So,

That is the point,

I think,

Of that.

I went through all these things,

And it's such an extreme.

It was that I could then face you guys so solidly and say,

Look,

A suburban single mother did it.

Really.

Any of us can wake up and move more into truth.

And I just had,

You know,

Nothing to lose because I grew up wealthy,

So I knew it was just like,

You know what I mean?

It's like,

I couldn't hold on to anything.

Everybody had been so unhappy in my family.

It was like,

There has to – you know what I got to was,

There has to be something more or else we might as well all jump off a cliff,

Right?

Or,

You know,

Do whatever we want,

Because if there's nothing beyond this,

It doesn't matter what we do.

But in my heart of hearts,

I would always feel my love for,

You know,

My little brother,

And my love for my mom,

My love for my son,

You know,

The leukemia.

So,

I could never turn away from my experience of loving them.

That love must be at the root of everything.

And I could never do anything that diminished my connection to this love,

You know,

Once I,

I want to say,

Sobered up,

Once I got my marbles back.

Yeah.

But,

You know,

In the East,

They consider losing your noodle like that.

They consider that a step on the journey.

It's not,

They don't have the kind of judgment we do at all.

In fact,

It's considered a good thing.

It means,

If you do that,

It's easier to get mastery,

Basically.

You've gone to such an extreme.

But my point is,

You don't have to do that,

You guys.

You can get it.

You can get it through somebody who did that.

You don't have to do it.

Yeah,

Really.

Yeah.

Right.

Because I'll tell you,

There's a lot of scar tissue associated with when you lose your noodle.

It's not,

It's not an easy healing at all.

In fact,

I'll tell you something that connects,

Is one of the,

You know,

Not only would I get the smell of the Tylenol if I was going off,

But,

And this may make sense to you,

Suzette,

When I was getting off my journey,

When I was going in the wrong way,

I would get symptoms,

Some of the symptoms would come back of being Looney Tunes.

I would feel,

I would start getting these echoes,

And they,

That would move me into surrender,

And into truth.

You see,

Because I was like,

Oh God,

Not this again,

Please help me,

Help me,

And I would be moved into truth.

Yeah.

Right.

You guys,

You know,

What I actually,

I really,

I don't understand this,

Is why is it,

So here we are,

Like,

So this is 40 years after this happened with me,

And it's sort of like,

Why,

Why does it still seem safer to sort of quit,

To sort of sit quietly as the world proceeds into nuclear holocaust than to wake up?

Really,

I'm asking you this question.

Whatever withholds or fears you've got about awakening,

Why does it feel safer?

Really,

Think about it.

Because Swami said there was a significant probability,

And you just look at the news right now.

Yeah.

So,

The reason I'm saying this is,

Please,

Can you do what I did,

Which is what I did,

Which is having made such a mess,

I just decided to move into truth.

But you see,

We're all at this stage of the world is in such a mess,

We might as well just move into truth rather than getting fried atomically.

Because it's the number of people who actually walk the talk that matters,

You see?

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Please get this and drop into your hearts.

And maybe we'll be,

Okay,

Let's play,

Maybe we'll be the little drop of people that makes the difference,

You know?

Maybe we'll be the 51%,

You know,

The 1%,

The extra drop that,

You know,

We may,

Well,

Stranger things have happened.

But yeah,

And I'll tell you,

This kind of clarity came to me after I lost my noodle.

I was able to play at this level of non-attachment of saying,

Okay,

Why does it feel safer to sit in the status quo and get fried atomically than to drop into more truth?

Really?

Yeah.

And you can drop into more truth,

You can say,

May it all be supported,

And,

You know,

Gently,

Easily,

At a pace I can handle,

Do all that,

Make it safe.

But let's have,

You know,

The new earth in a good way,

Not like the scorched earth.

Let's have the new earth of open hearts.

And Stephanie,

Sweet one,

I want to shine a light with you.

Thank you.

It's like,

I kind of want you to ask,

Why is it so hard?

You ask yourself,

Why is it so hard for you to really love yourself?

Okay?

Right.

Because anybody who knows you,

You're just a beautiful spirit,

Sweet one.

You spend your life doing good in every direction.

You can't be faulted at all.

You can't be criticized or faulted or anything.

But I want you to ask yourself,

Why is it so hard for you to love your intrinsic Stephaniness?

Right.

And just sit with that question and keep it open-ended and be very,

Very gentle with yourself.

And I'll tell you,

Just keep doing that and you will start communing with your deep self and Amma.

And this one will feel it too.

You'll feel,

And you'll feel it.

For me,

You'll feel a new level of Pramasutta as you do this.

Now,

You don't have to do it.

And don't fudge it.

Okay?

Don't,

You know,

Keep it very,

Very honorable and true.

Don't do a facsimile.

Just keep that question,

Like,

Why is it so hard for me to love my deep Stephaniness,

My deep yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good work,

Sweet one.

Energetically,

You just did something very good.

But no facsimile.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's sort of like,

If you want to,

It's the energy of utter,

Utter innocence that will neutralize the nukes,

You guys.

Utter,

Utter innocence.

It's the only thing that works.

That is,

Okay,

You guys,

This is what you get in spades from my story.

The utter innocence of it all,

Truly.

The foolishness,

You know,

All of that.

Ignorance and all that.

But the utter,

Utter innocence of this one's journey.

And that,

Amma says,

Innocence is the most powerful energy in the world.

That's why it has worked.

And that's what is here to support you,

To come to you,

To help midwife you into your truth.

Right.

Right.

Right.

That's it.

Okay.

To help midwife you into your truth.

Exactly.

That's it.

That's this whole process.

Right.

To help witness and make safe the birth into this bigger understanding.

Okay.

Blessing after blessing after blessing.

It's like raining down on you.

Right.

It's as if you get what I'm talking about with the innocence,

And this is helping you drop into your own heart,

Your own innocent heart.

Right.

This is fantastic.

You've done a tremendous job today,

Truly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh,

This is fantastic.

I am such a blessed woman that you come,

You guys,

And that we get to play here like this.

And you come with me,

And you make these shifts,

And I'm just blessed among women,

Truly.

And you get me.

You get me.

You get my journey.

You kind of see things like I do,

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this will happen more and more.

The more and more of this rising into true reality.

And you can have your lives as they are.

It's seamless.

It can just come in.

I really hope we don't go into a nuclear thing.

It's like,

You know what I was thinking?

I was thinking to myself,

I've done all this work,

And it's like,

Oh,

If we're turned into nuclear toast,

Then I don't get to play,

You know?

And then I thought to myself,

Hey,

Premasuddha,

You know,

We're all in truth anyway.

This is just an empty hologram.

And,

You know,

So I recovered myself.

All things are comedy.

Okay.

Okay.

Well,

Many,

Many blessings,

You guys.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Is everybody okay?

Is there no last-minute thing that needs to be spoken?

Is there?

Chulalongkorn Chan,

Did you have anything?

Or do you have something to say?

Yeah,

Now it's on.

Yeah,

I raised my hand much earlier,

But maybe it's still interesting to be raised.

Even you gave parts of the answer already.

It is to the point you said,

Why we're still staying stuck in our own,

You use different words than I do,

But in our own misery,

Why we're still not elevating ourselves.

And I think you're giving us the tools constantly,

Reminding us constantly,

You know,

To surrender or to be in our hearts,

Right?

But if you look at the reality,

We're all stuck in our own little miseries.

We're living our normal lives.

The world seems so real.

Even some of us are long time on our journey.

Some may be a bit more fresh.

So it seems something is so difficult for us,

Even to make these seemingly simple steps of surrendering,

Fully surrendering,

Or fully being in our heart.

Even we know it,

And we've been reminded by you,

By Ama constantly.

So it sounds sometimes really like,

Hey,

I know we have to reflect on what you said.

That's one part why we're staying stuck in all that.

But it's just such a big minority who really makes that shift and comes to enlightenment.

I'm wondering why.

There's something seems to be so difficult.

That's all that came to my mind.

Okay.

Now remember,

Thank you for speaking,

Because you remember Ama saying about the man and how the egos have gotten bigger and bigger since,

You know,

The hunting.

Yeah.

Okay.

So,

Trilla Chan,

I want you to give me your ego right now.

Okay?

Because you spoke all that from your ego.

Now I want you to give me your ego,

Please.

Just tell me that you give me your ego.

Or that you,

You know,

That you,

You know,

If you want to give it to Ama,

If that feels better.

But this is what's facing you,

Man.

You don't want to give it up.

The question is why?

I know it's root cause.

I'm not able,

Currently,

At least so far,

I haven't been able to really give it fully up.

Yeah,

That's exactly the question.

What is it about?

Why am I so stupid to not do it?

Okay,

So Trilla Chan,

I bet that there's at least a handful of people who are listening to this,

And they are registering that that question,

Your ego is now doing the rarefied ego of trying to set up a discussion for all the reasons,

The ego thing and the reasons.

And I'm like,

Will you let me shoot an arrow right to your heart and kill it?

Actually,

That's the question I'd have to ask you.

Why don't you let your heart get touched?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Because really,

You know,

All machinations are all the busyness and the focus on the fear is to try to prevent your heart from being touched and awoken more deeply.

From being touched and awoken more deeply.

Yeah.

And part of your masculine goes,

You know,

I can hear it.

It's kind of like,

Well,

Without my ego,

Like,

I don't have an identity.

And it's like,

Actually,

You have your true masculine energy that is so much better than,

I want to say there's a gladiator energy in you,

A Roman gladiator.

Yeah.

And this guy has to go.

He has to be transcended.

It's one of the lives impacting this life,

This Roman gladiator.

And it's like,

No,

He needs to be transcended.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

So,

I feel you stepping back.

So,

I don't touch you.

So,

I don't touch you.

Yeah.

Chilijan,

This is underneath your conscious control.

It's not like a bad thing or anything.

But you're talking from the person who's going to stand and be blown up by the nukes.

And I want to hear what the person who's part of creating a new Earth,

A big wave of peace energy to come and neutralize all this in the world.

I want to hear that energy come through you.

And you're very scared of it.

You're very scared of your love power.

I can feel it.

Yeah.

It's like you don't think it's like male enough.

It's not a man.

It's just like a million times more powerful,

That's all.

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweet.

Chilijan,

Are you confused or do you really know what I'm talking about underneath?

I think,

I mean,

I have to obviously reflect a bit more on it.

But I think you touched probably a lot of true points in there.

That's my first impression.

And even the question was not so much raised about myself,

Because I think we're all sitting in the same boat.

I mean,

I think what I hear,

At least from the satsang group,

We're all having our difficulties to really put our practices,

Your guidance into truth.

So for me,

Totally,

You nailed me down,

I think.

Stop,

Stop,

Stop.

I'm going to nail you.

The ego will go into the collective just like you did.

You'll then talk about a group.

Actually,

I think you're going to see this after the satsang,

You're going to see all the ways that your ego tries to stay alive.

Sorry,

How the ego does what?

I didn't get that.

How all the ways your ego tries to stay alive.

Okay.

Sweet one,

There is just this incredible love power in you.

Yeah.

And I want you to understand this,

That all the stuff you go through is because you can't accept the love power.

So,

It sets in motion all this mind talk,

And focus on the fear and everything.

And if you would just accept this,

Like accept the big embrace and the big understanding of what you're in.

You see,

You keep letting it drop.

You don't let it stick.

Even though I've said this to you many times,

You drop it.

You go,

Like,

Kramasutra,

I want to play in my little playground.

And I'm going,

It's not solvable there.

It's solvable in this bigger understanding that there's all this loving coming to your heart.

And it's being refused.

And so,

It keeps this thing going in the hologram.

Right?

And you know,

Sweetie,

It's like we have to feel how broken we are underneath.

When we feel how broken we are underneath,

We unite.

We unite in truth.

And most of us run from feeling how broken we feel underneath.

Especially guys,

Because they feel ill-equipped.

And also,

They don't want to show their partners,

You know?

Yeah.

But I see it,

And I love you anyway.

Like,

I love you anyway,

Even though you're going round and round in this.

It's like you're still incredibly valuable.

And even though you're going round and round in this,

You're still doing a lot of good.

You know?

It's like it's all okay.

I just wish you were happier,

You know?

Right.

Right.

That's good.

That's good.

It's good.

Just a little more honest with yourself.

Aha.

That's it.

That's it.

Good.

Good.

I feel a wave of peace coming to your heart.

You're either going to feel it now,

Or soon,

Or in the near future.

It's a wave of peace,

Because you actually have opened.

You've opened at a heart level.

And that's what I wanted to see.

It will come to you.

You'll feel it if you're not feeling it now.

Yeah.

How are you?

Much more peaceful.

Right.

Right.

Feeling quite,

How do you say?

What's the right word?

It's more seen.

My,

Yeah,

My inner wounds.

Right.

Much more humble.

Totally humble.

Ah.

There it is.

Beautiful work.

That's it.

Beautiful work.

Fantastic.

That's it.

And it's safe.

You can be there.

This is stepping back into the heart.

This is what will help prevent nuclear war.

Fantastic.

I honor,

I honor you,

And I honor what you've done today.

Truly,

Truly,

Jan.

And Stephanie,

Atiba,

Vavani,

Shivali,

Suzanne,

And all the rest of you,

Because,

And Jenna,

And you all came with me.

All of you came with me.

Even if you feel you didn't.

Felicia,

You came with me.

It's okay.

Felicia,

You're here.

Yeah.

You're receiving the love too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

Maybe there's just going to be peace flags all over the world.

I hope so.

Okay.

Blessings,

My dear ones.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings,

Blessings.