Awareness Satsang: Don't Struggle - Ask For Grace

In this Satsang, Premasudha gives us a deep insight into the power of God's Grace. She reminds us of this big secret on the spiritual journey: To ask for Grace and allow the Love of the Creator to come in to help us. As we learn to ask for Grace, we become happier.
In her uniquely loving and humorous way, Premasudha clarifies that it's on us to allow ourselves to receive Grace.
The more we move into the truth of our divine nature the more this grace weaves into our lives seamlessly and everything gets easier.
Reminding us again and again that we are exactly where we need to be, Premasudha helps us feel the Grace and Unconditional Love coming in from the Creator to all the Satsang members and to everyone listening to it afterward.

Transcript

Today is around God's grace and allowing it,

Asking for it and allowing it because it's so there for you,

Okay?

It's so there.

All you have to do is ask for it,

But I'm going to talk about that later.

But the first thing I want to do is read an email from a dear one.

This is going to maybe reflect back some of your experiences with the whole evolution experience.

So this one has been conflicted about whether to allow depth on the spiritual journey,

And this is very common.

It's really common in the West because we're so outer focused.

We don't realize really how hard it is for us to deepen.

This is why we have to be very compassionate with ourselves and gentle,

Okay?

Mm-hmm.

Okay,

So here goes.

I had the most persistent headache for seven days solid.

It would lessen for short periods when I would take an Advil just to function during the day,

But the pressure inside my head was always there.

I knew it was this complex around not being deeply willing on the journey.

I've been saying the mantra,

I will to will thy will,

Since you talked about it the other week,

And even please help me will to will thy will felt very accurate to me.

Okay,

This was a very good word.

She changed the words to what felt like a slam dunk for her,

Rather than just imposing a recipe on herself,

Okay,

Which we do.

We impose these recipes,

And we squish the data that's coming back to us.

I'll just,

Just to make sure you really understand it.

She'd been saying,

I will to will thy will,

But what felt better to her was to say,

Please help me will to will thy will.

Okay,

When you follow those little subtleties,

When you're flexible like that,

You will speed your journey.

It's more loving to yourself.

It's not so much trying to be a good girl or good boy.

Okay,

It was especially intense around my forehead and third eye with what I haven't wanted to see in myself.

I am so tired of being stuck in my head.

It is so exhausting and isolating.

Knowing I'm stuck,

But trying to get out of it with my head,

Which is,

This is what often new seekers will do.

They're stuck in their head,

And they try to get out of it with their head.

So I end up just driving myself crazy with it,

Getting more caught in self-devaluing thoughts,

Seeing that,

Then feeling even worse,

Like a vicious cycle.

And so I wasn't surprised to be getting such a headache and took it as a good sign of movement and things coming up to be cleared.

Good attitude.

I also kept envisioning opening the doors to my soul and God's grace to come in and help resolve these inner conflicts.

I woke up from a nap this afternoon and light came into my eyes like cool,

Fresh air.

Finally,

The pressure had released.

I feel now I can just let things be and relax about it a little more.

So much of what you've been saying in the satsangs lately resonates so much.

I often feel that you're speaking directly to me.

It feels relieving and immensely satisfying to walk around realizing I don't know anything and just see what happens next.

I'm wondering a lot about the bigger love,

And it seems connected to something you said in the last satsang.

This journey is so much bigger than our heads.

A light went on for me there.

If it's bigger than what's going on inside my head,

I don't have to worry so much about what's going on in my head,

Not in a negligent or lazy way,

But in a way that stops putting importance on things that aren't important.

There's more that's hard to articulate,

But I definitely feel a lot of things shifting internally,

Maybe a rerouting of sorts or the beginnings of one.

Okay,

You guys.

I mean,

Does this have any echoes with your own experience,

Right?

You know,

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

Things like that,

I will twill thy will.

It's just like a drill through the concrete if you keep saying it.

And what I want to talk about is this God's grace.

You guys,

Even that we're here together in the satsang that you wanted to join with us,

You're doing it as a result of experiencing God's grace.

Even to be interested on the journey comes from grace.

You know,

We're so busy with our heads,

Like the dear one who wrote the email,

That we actually wall off grace.

We're like a little kid going,

Oh,

Mom,

I can do it myself.

And,

You know,

The mom's sitting there and like knowing that the child's going to keep trying for 20 minutes,

And then it's going to receive help.

It will then finally say,

Okay,

Mom,

You can help me.

This is what we're like.

The God's grace,

You know,

Is pretty much the most important thing.

If you keep asking for God's grace,

Amma's grace,

You really need it,

You guys.

You really,

Really need it to open to God's grace.

It is not solvable through our own efforts purely.

Efforts are important.

It takes a bit of effort to ask for God's grace,

Amma's grace.

Sometimes we just have to ask for grace and then just,

You know,

Sometimes we just have to be ordinary.

There are periods on the journey where it gets so intense.

This happened to me several times.

It got so intense.

I got so lost in,

You know,

My head complex is coming up that I had to just sort of disconnect and just be normal for a while.

Just stop thinking about the journey at all and just be normal.

Just be ordinary.

Just be ordinary.

I'd focus on,

You know,

Doing housework.

I'd focus on feeding the kids really good food,

You know.

I'd just be ordinary.

I'd go like,

Well,

I guess I'm not a spiritual superstar anyway.

After all,

I'd go like,

Well,

I'm a dismal failure.

Oh,

Well,

You know,

It's still a sunny day and I love my kids.

It's okay.

Not really.

And then the wind would come again.

And I would sort of integrate and then I would see that I actually jumped up the mountain a bit.

I'd been lifted up the mountain through grace by just letting go.

I would say,

You know,

95% of you,

This love affair with your head and your thoughts is weighing you down.

You know that,

You know,

Treadmills were used as punishment in the 19th century prisons in England.

They were really,

They were in the prisons.

They were used to punishment as punishment because it was considered absolutely meaningless.

Meaningless work was considered like,

That's a really like bad punishment.

So they put the prisoners on the treadmills,

You know,

And we have treadmills now and we do this like for fun.

So I'm thinking it's like getting on the treadmill of your heads,

You know,

On your thoughts,

The treadmill of your thoughts,

And really it's going nowhere.

Asking for grace,

You know.

Grace kind of will surprise you.

You know,

One of my favorite,

Like a visual that came to me was like cutting fabric to make a dress.

And then you realize,

So you worked hard,

You bought the fabric,

You worked hard doing the cutting,

And then you realize that you've cut it too small.

It's not going to fit.

So you go off in disgust and you go do something else.

And you come back to really sort of pack it up and throw it out or use it as dishrags.

And then you see that suddenly the fabric,

There's enough fabric after all,

It hasn't been cut too small.

It's just right.

That's like grace.

It's like grace will make,

You know,

What's that around?

What's that expression around the square peg in a round hole?

Grace will make it a round peg in a round hole.

Don't underestimate grace.

You know,

I'll tell you,

Chris,

I got,

Peter and I had gone to some hotel.

We'd been traveling.

It was kind of a motel.

It was somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

I came back with that,

With scabies.

I got scabies at this place.

And I was pregnant.

And all the scabie medicines said,

Don't use when you're pregnant.

So I checked with my gynecologist,

Obstetrician.

He said,

Oh,

It'll be fine.

I didn't believe him.

I was scared that,

I was really terrified to hurt the baby.

I've got scabies,

Right?

I mean,

And I don't want to take the stuff.

And Peter's looking at me like,

Janet,

And I'm going,

I'm not.

And lo and behold,

Two weeks later,

A new scabie medicine hit the market that could be used by pregnant women.

It was like pure grace.

I mean,

Otherwise it was going to be nine months of scratch,

Scratch,

Scratch.

It's grace.

I want you to be open to grace,

Please.

You have no idea.

You have no idea what a powerful,

Powerful thing that is.

To allow grace,

It helps if you let go of your head a little bit.

To give the creator,

To give homage,

Yes,

To give you solutions.

It's all,

You know,

I laugh a lot.

And,

You know,

I didn't.

I have huge empathy for how serious it all seems and everything,

And it is.

It's really,

It's serious in a way.

It's like a life and death battle going on between the ego and the soul,

You know?

And I know it's really uncomfortable,

But if you just take it from me,

The whole thing is just the biggest joke.

It's just a joke.

The more you go up,

The more you make progress,

The more you just live your days,

The more you will see this.

I promise you.

I promise you.

Yeah.

Our souls do this for fun.

It's not serious.

Nobody's getting hurt.

I know it looks like it.

Nobody's getting hurt.

It's all got a happy ending.

And that's even if,

You know,

The human race,

If we totally annihilate ourselves,

It's still going to have a happy ending,

You know?

And for our souls,

It will be like a loss of a child.

There'll be a grieving around human race that didn't work.

But it's not too serious.

Yeah,

I hope you can get this from me,

If you can get this from this one,

Because it's really strong in this one.

Yeah.

The playfulness,

Because of the great relief,

That my experience that it's all okay,

Because for years and years and years,

It didn't seem to be okay.

And this one walked through major difficulty,

As you all know.

Please the grace.

There's just,

There's so much grace coming to you.

I'm feeling it so strongly.

There was a funny thing.

There's a lovely woman who lost her mom.

And she wrote to me just asking for help.

And I said,

Look,

I could work with your mom and help her release in the first three days after someone dies.

There's this window of opportunity where if there's competent help here on earth,

They can release huge amounts of material and have much better rebirth situations than they would have had without this intervention.

And I love doing this for people.

It's like I get out of jail card.

You know,

It's like,

Winning the lottery spiritually.

And so I offered to work with,

And you know,

She was hesitant.

She was like,

Well,

You know,

I don't know.

She was worried,

You know,

That her mom maybe wanted to keep having a lot of lives.

And she just didn't want to interfere with her mom's process.

And I understand that.

I respect that.

The thing is,

She doesn't know how loving it is.

It's like unconditional love.

There's never any force or pressure.

And what I did is,

I didn't even then,

I had asked for her name,

But because of her withholds,

I said,

Okay,

Don't even tell me her name.

And what I'll do is I'll just work.

I'll just go,

Okay,

This woman's name and the mother,

I sent the love to this woman.

And then I said also to this woman's mother,

If she wishes it.

And I could feel her.

I could feel the energy go to her.

And I could feel her seize it with great joy and go,

Yes.

And she dumped this furiousness.

And that was the word,

This furiousness that had garbed her all during her lifetime.

But she never knew how to handle it.

Furiousness.

It wasn't rage.

That wasn't the word.

It was this furiousness.

She was so happy to just dump it.

It's like,

That's how loving it is.

We have all kinds of rules and worries,

But actually it's also loving.

You know,

And if you're having trouble with yourself,

If you're feeling discouraged with yourself or impatient,

It's just,

I don't know,

Just think Pramasutra loves you.

Really.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Pramasutra loves you.

I mean,

Amma loves you.

I mean,

She's a chameleon of me,

But this one can offer this one's love.

And even if I'm like pushing you away and remonstrating,

I'm just trying to help you up the mountain.

The love never stopped.

Yeah.

What I'm really wanting to see over time is you really,

Really loving yourself.

Loving that really personal,

Vulnerable inner failure.

Yeah.

Most of us consider it like our inner failure and it's like,

That's what needs the love.

It's not a failure at all.

It's probably,

You know,

Most close to your soul.

You know,

It's probably the closest thing to your soul energy,

But you,

There's fear running and your ego's running.

So you see it as a failure.

You know,

Innocence doesn't get treated that well.

So,

You know,

Pramasutra,

I got kicked around somewhat just because of this innocent nature.

You know,

I could,

I was,

I could be fierce when I had to be,

But I got like,

You know,

During a journey,

Sometimes it felt like this innocence upset people,

But that was just part of my karma.

You know,

It was part of my karma.

It actually helped me.

I just turned to the creator more.

I turned to Amma more.

Yeah.

Every time I got hurt.

There was one funny thing in the ashram where,

You know,

Amma talks about this,

That,

You know,

In the ashram,

If you live there,

You,

You have a choice to hide,

Run,

Or win the battle.

And there was a woman there who really went after Pramasutra,

I'll tell you.

This one really upset her.

And she had asked me to work with her.

And then she invited me to her room and I suddenly,

I started to work with her and she suddenly got very offended and pushed me,

But told me to leave.

It was shocking.

It was shocking.

I totally opened my heart and beginning working with her.

It was,

I was totally shocked.

And do you know,

The funny thing that happened was right after that.

So we separated and went different ways.

And we,

Amma was coming through the ashram and coming from different directions.

Very shortly after this happened,

She and I converged and we were standing almost next to each other,

Facing Amma.

And I saw Amma look at us both and glare at her.

It was like,

Yes.

It was just so beautiful.

It was like,

You know,

Innocence may have a rough time,

But the universe backs it.

The universe will take care of you.

The universe will take care of your innocence.

Truly.

But my question to ask you,

Are you really living with innocence or are you busy protecting yourself?

Because the universe can only take care of you if you're living it.

God's grace will come to you like that.

Yeah,

It's very safe.

Some of you,

Like I understand,

You know,

There's hesitation to really jump in the journey and there's no rush,

You know,

There's no rush.

But it's actually the hardest way to walk is when you're conflicted.

It is the hardest,

Most unpleasant way to live really.

It's hard.

Yeah.

But it's also a stage in the journey,

So don't worry about it too much.

But also,

Ask for the grace to get over that,

You know.

Ask for grace to help you trust more.

You see,

You can be loving with yourself and still be proactive.

Right.

There's a lot of grace coming.

Anybody got any questions or did anybody think about the reframing at all?

And did anybody do a reframe that they want to talk about,

Like I was talking about last week?

Or is there anything up?

We haven't had a question and answer.

Sad saying this week.

Hi,

Primus,

That's Stephanie.

Stephanie,

Yeah.

I just wanted to quickly share an example maybe of grace and perhaps reframing as well.

And I mentioned it before,

The story that I had coming back from free to bed with Alma,

And how I had been basically got sick on the bus coming back after a month being in Fruita Bedwis with her and all the devotees and had a wonderful time.

But I got sick on the bus coming back and felt woozy and couldn't see at one of the lunch stops.

And I ended up fainting and actually pooping my pants.

And I've told this story before,

But I just wanted to share how much grace there was in that moment,

Because I've never experienced the care that resulted in the miracle of literally falling in your own poop and not knowing anybody.

And how magical it was,

The ambulance person was there and gave me an IV,

And clothes magically came to me to clean myself.

And I only had about maybe 30 minutes at this rest stop for all this to happen.

And I was covered in poop too,

At a rest stop.

It wasn't a clean one.

And somehow magically,

No joke,

It was like,

There was this little house.

And it was like Alma made it happen.

And there was a bidet at this little house and they let me clean myself off.

And I was able to get back in the ambulance and move on.

And the person who came to help me,

Her name is Karuna,

And has become a good friend and sister.

But I just wanted to share the story again,

Because when I look at my life,

I don't know if I've ever experienced grace like that,

Or miracles.

And for me,

Personally,

I think I've maybe witnessed it,

And I'm sure that grace has come to me.

I just never acknowledged it in that way.

And it was a time in my life where I was very vulnerable,

Didn't know anybody.

And when you poop your pants,

It's never fun.

It's never happened.

But that could have been the worst time.

And I think it was also reframing for me.

Or I saw it as grace immediately.

But you know,

Some people I tell this story to sometimes,

And they say,

Like,

That's the worst thing that happened to you.

And I go,

Yeah,

It was also the best thing.

And in my mind,

It was probably the most compassionate act that could have happened.

And it really taught me that Alma's around me everywhere,

That Alma is everyone.

And that grace really,

Really is there.

So,

You know,

Hopefully,

We all don't have to fall in our own coop to learn that grace is there.

But I'm just always so thankful on the journey to you,

To bringing me to Alma,

And obviously to Alma,

For just the miracle of life and the grace that's all around us.

Yeah,

A couple things.

One is you had really stepped out to step on the journey,

Right?

I mean,

You really had made that big step.

And yeah,

So often,

You know,

When you really make a big step like that,

The universe will,

You know,

You'll get a like,

Okay,

How serious are you?

Do you really want this or not?

And so yeah,

There's the possibility of the experience of grace like that,

And that you see it as grace and you,

You can,

You know,

There's a reframe of it's a disaster,

But it,

It gave you an experience of love,

Grace,

You know,

Until we have an experience,

I mean,

Then it just stays a theoretical thing in our head.

So how are you doing these days,

Stephanie?

I had,

I've had some rough,

Rough days.

I had some,

One of the moms of my students was really close to pass away at the age of 59.

And her name actually is Lila,

Of all names,

Which here we talk about Lila's happening.

But she died of double pneumonia.

And the son who his name is actually Shivneel was Lord Shiva,

Named after Lord Shiva.

And he just randomly got in touch with me,

I felt actually to find him,

I hadn't been in touch with him for a few years,

Because I'd been in India.

And I felt to find him on Facebook a few months ago,

For some reason,

And then did,

And he reached out to me just to tell me his mom passed away.

So I've been working through that.

But I feel a lot better today,

I woke up and it was like a new day,

A new dawn,

For whatever reason.

Are you,

Is there a deeper level that you can speak from?

Not so much about other people?

Maybe there's not.

But I'm just checking.

Like a deeper level that you could speak from,

Or articulate from?

A deeper thing about how you're feeling?

I'm feeling like all this garbage is coming up.

A lot of anger and hatred,

Things that are unfair in life.

I've had a lot of hotness burning off and being really sweaty.

I've had headaches,

Which I don't actually get yesterday.

I had headaches.

I had to take Tylenol for the first time in years.

Because the headache was so bad.

And I've been flat on my back for the last few days.

I think you need to ask for grace,

Sweetie.

Just ask for grace.

Okay?

Okay.

Absolute grace.

Just end.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You know,

We need space from our heads.

Guys,

Our heads are clamped on too tight.

We're too rigid with our heads.

They're too tight on our hearts.

Yeah.

Ask for grace.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you know,

I don't know how you can sort of this ordinary thing that used to work for me,

Like just being ordinary for a while.

Like,

Oh,

Well,

I'm full of hatred.

Oh,

Well.

Let's go have a chai or something.

I don't know.

I'm just wanting to bring a little more spaciousness to you,

Sweetie.

And the grace is really important.

I mean,

If you keep asking for it,

You will start feeling it.

Yeah.

All my blessings.

All my blessings.

I mean,

I almost think that the heads are getting tighter and tighter with every generation.

So really,

I feel sometimes that my head was on tight.

But then sometimes I think you 30-somethings,

It's even tighter.

You know,

I don't know about even the younger generation.

And I don't mean this like,

It's not like you're crippled or anything.

It just means like I can see the challenge of it.

But then you guys have access to teachers.

And you know,

Lots of us older ones,

We didn't.

We had looser heads,

But no teachers.

So you know,

The universe is taking care of you,

Bringing you teachers.

The grace and space.

And all these things have beginnings,

Middle and end,

You know,

And we're going through like a rough patch.

There's a beginning and a middle and an end.

I remember once going for a walk and realizing that I had set myself on another depression.

I could feel it.

It was starting.

And depressions start when you miss the negative thought that sets them off,

Where you're not observing enough.

You're not self-observing it.

So you miss it.

And then all of a sudden you find,

Oh,

Here it is.

Oh,

Another thing I wanted to tell you is please think about using subliminal affirmations to just keep your minds up.

Julie,

I feel it will speed your journey.

Lots of times we slow our journey down because our minds start getting negative.

And we live with this.

The human mind will go down.

You know,

In yoga,

There's always work with the rising up and also the pushing down into the earth.

It's the human being.

We're always in this tension between the human mind,

Which will go down,

And then the soul that wants to soar,

That wants to ascend.

So when you do something like listen to some subliminal to support you,

Your journey,

To support sort of like,

You know,

Some help.

Because you guys,

What happens on the journey is we start,

Our minds get activated.

We start analyzing ourselves and seeing we're miserable sinners and stuff.

And that just stops progress.

Anything that can lift your mind up,

Just do that.

It's sort of like,

You know,

It's good use of technology.

Your journey will be faster,

I promise you,

If you do that.

One time with the depression,

I got a prescription for the antidepressants.

I was on antidepressants,

I think,

Two or three times.

And the last one started and I got a prescription for antidepressants and it stopped the depression.

And then just getting the prescription.

And then after that,

I got onto subliminals and I never had trouble with depression again.

Yeah.

And it speeded my movement because depression is slow growth.

It's very slow growth.

And lots of us are walking around actually in low level depressions.

That's actually,

I think it's normal.

I think that's our normal,

Is actually a depressed person,

Really.

Yeah.

And I think it's rampantly undiagnosed in men.

It's so nice to see you.

Yeah,

It is.

It's just a joy just being with you.

That's it.

Some of you are really receiving this energy,

This love.

Actually,

It's like an hour of grace,

Right?

But you can keep asking for it so it can come into your lives more and give you wind beneath your wings a bit.

Yeah.

It's grace that does our journeys.

We humans,

We start trying to say our mantra,

Right?

And 30 seconds later,

We're off thinking about what we're going to eat for dinner or something.

The human mind.

We need grace.

Mm-hmm.

You know,

Most of us are running from the truth of us.

And even we can be on the journey and still be running from the truth of us.

So,

You know,

Just asking for grace.

Really,

What can we do?

I used to have this feeling of that I was hiding on some level,

Even though I was on the journey,

I could feel this hiding.

You know,

What is this?

What is this?

But I never actually faced it.

I didn't say,

Okay,

What is this?

I'm going to face it.

It was sort of like this nickel underneath that on some level I was hiding.

And it was true.

That's what I found later.

My journey showed me I really was hiding.

I should have just asked for grace and,

You know,

Come out of hiding.

Mm-hmm.

We know underneath the truth.

And that's why I put a little pressure on you guys to really speak the truth to me because otherwise we're wasting.

It's more if you can just get down to the truth and speak from there.

If you can do it with me,

Then you can do it with life.

You can say what you don't want to.

It's okay.

It's okay.

We're just conflicted assortments of complexes in some ways,

You guys,

Even though we're God in human form.

But you can ask for grace.

There's another theme I'm wanting to talk about,

Which is learning how to set boundaries with compassion.

So,

There's a great emphasis on boundaries these days.

I mean,

Really,

In a way,

People are like boarding themselves up with boundaries,

You know.

Really,

Boards on the door and the window,

Everything boarded up and contained,

So full of boundaries that,

You know,

It's hard to just be with another person.

But we can set boundaries with compassion,

Okay?

I'll tell you,

If you,

Especially for loving women,

Learning how to do this is really,

Really important.

To get clear on what you can,

You know,

Handle,

Be with,

Put up with,

And what you can't.

And one of the things,

You guys,

And you may have seen this with Kramasutra,

That,

What will go along?

I'll go along with people,

And then he'll start getting really bothered by something,

By like,

Say,

How I'm treated or something,

Something will come up.

So,

I'll set a boundary out of compassion,

And you know what will happen?

I won't bump up.

I go up.

So,

After last week where I did that,

I think it was last week or the week before,

Kramasutra just made a huge leap,

And it was loving myself enough to be clear about boundaries,

And then that gave my soul more room.

But setting them with compassion,

Setting them out of compassion for yourself,

And compassion for the other person.

Compassion,

Because you,

You know,

You deeply understand maybe why they're behaving as they are,

But you can't allow it for your own welfare.

We don't have to sacrifice ourselves for people so much.

We think we do.

We don't.

It's actually,

It's actually not very helpful if you're sacrificing yourself too much.

You know,

Boundaries,

It can feel,

We can feel like we're being cruel,

But you know,

This above all to thine own self be true,

You have to love yourselves,

You guys.

Kramasutra?

Yeah,

Is that Scott?

Yeah,

Yes.

You said a word about,

That began with an S for depression,

Like subliminal or something.

I don't know what that is.

Subliminal.

Probably Laura will be able to tell you.

There's subliminal audios that you can listen to.

If you listen to them two or three times a day,

If you do it for at least three weeks,

You will start to feel like a lift,

And you'll feel happier.

And if you keep going,

It will stay that way.

Laura,

I'm sure,

I know Laura knows about them because I got her onto them.

You can Google them,

And you know,

Just do ones that you have a good feeling about.

You can look and see the words that they're telling you.

So,

Some of them,

They'll say,

You know,

You're strong,

You're intelligent,

You know,

You're peaceful.

And you just keep listening to that,

And then that actually tells your subconscious which direction you're going to,

You want to go on.

Do you see,

You guys,

Your thoughts that you're feeding your subconscious daily are telling you,

Telling your subconscious what you're wanting for the future.

They're steering your subconscious to more of that.

That's why it's so important to observe your thoughts,

At least observe them,

Because if you can observe them,

It will neutralize their impact on your subconscious.

That is a really important thing I'm saying to you guys about this subconscious.

Yeah,

Scott,

Is that good enough?

Can you speak to Laura about it?

And if Yeah,

Yeah,

Thank you.

Okay,

Good.

Good question.

Thanks for asking about it,

Because I'm sure other people don't know what they are.

I used to say to the boys,

I'd say,

You know,

Mums,

You know,

I would,

I'd use the image of the cow and the milk all being dried up.

So,

If I really needed space,

I would just say that to the boys.

I'd just say,

Oh,

The cow's milk's all dried up.

And they would just leave me and go get busy.

I didn't get mad at them or anything.

You see,

I was setting boundaries with compassion,

Compassion for me,

And compassion for their need to be with me,

But I didn't have anything to give to them.

Right.

You know what,

You have to love and honor yourself to do this.

And this is what I want you guys,

I really want to see you do this,

To love and honor yourselves.

And actually start speaking from the truth of you and what you need and what you feel.

Because I'll tell you,

If you do that,

You'll stop blaming other people.

You'll stop resenting other people and you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself.

This is taking your power.

Yeah,

Just being,

You know,

Loving yourself enough to be true to what you can stand and what you can't stand.

And it was sure better than me yelling at my kids,

Right?

Just because I would have if I hadn't said that.

In fact,

You guys,

You know,

Talk about grace.

The whole thing with Abraham,

The studying,

The boys and I started,

I mean,

There were three and five,

I think,

Four,

Four and six,

We started.

Okay,

So they got summers in Hawaii,

Living off the land.

Otherwise,

I'll tell you,

They would have been screamed at by a really frustrated single mama.

So it was God's grace that that was available.

And it was grace on so many levels.

I bring my life up a lot just for these illustrations,

Because I don't know how else to.

My hope is that when I'm talking about my life,

That the penny will drop for you,

Because you know me.

And so the examples will help the penny drop for you.

And you can go,

Me too.

I really want you to say,

Me too,

Not,

Oh,

It just works for premisuda.

No,

You've not.

I wish I had a video of what I look like,

What I talk like,

And what I acted like,

Really.

You'd go,

You guys would all go,

Oh,

My God,

What a mess.

Really,

You would,

You would.

It's true.

It's true,

Though.

Right,

Please get that.

Did you have a question,

Michael?

Yeah,

I did,

Premisuda.

Actually,

I just wanted to tell you that,

You know,

I've noticed lately,

And I think that's what the difference is,

Is,

You know,

A certain level of confidence that I thought I always had.

But now I can distinguish that it was head-based.

And,

You know,

More,

I guess I would call it soul-based confidence,

Because I've noticed lately in,

You know,

Mainly professional situations,

Meetings,

And so forth,

Where I just speak my mind a lot more openly.

I think it's more forceful,

More,

Well,

More powerful,

I think.

Yeah,

It's quieter in a way.

And I just wanted to make that point.

I don't know if that's the difference or not.

But it's been,

You know,

It's been something I've really noticed lately.

Yeah,

Well,

It feels that way to me.

Feels like that you're more coming forward more.

Yeah,

It's nice,

Isn't it?

Well,

You don't have to worry if somebody likes you or not.

Yeah.

Not only that,

You're being,

I mean,

I'd say it's better for your health,

You know?

It's coming forward with more of your true energy.

It's just better for your health.

Are things you're saying not collectively popular,

Or?

Not always,

No.

Not always.

And you,

I'm not so worried,

I guess,

About stepping on sensibilities,

But I think I do it diplomatically.

And also just speaking up for myself,

Where you know,

I would tend just to let things pass before catching it and saying,

Well,

Wait a second,

You have to react to that to make sure that people understand where you're coming from.

Yeah.

I mean,

Sounds good to me.

I mean,

Keep your focus,

Though.

Keep it really,

You know,

I will twill thy will.

You know,

Michael,

Don't,

Yeah,

Keep really close to your own heart.

And don't get,

If you notice yourself having any kind of power play at all,

Nip it in the bud.

Just nip it.

Yeah.

I'm tired of that.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Keeping that focus.

The ego often will try to,

You know,

It tries to get in.

So just let,

I will twill thy will,

And yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

That's really powerful.

Right.

Well,

And you're more open.

And so you're hearing it more as I'm speaking to you.

I can feel you.

It's like I'm feeling it's like you're letting it reach your heart,

What I'm saying.

And it's very good.

That is a change,

Because for a while it was kind of,

You know,

Hard to get past the old head,

You know,

This is just like all of us.

But I can feel that you're,

That you're hearing my words with your heart more.

Yeah.

Right.

And you're very faithful to this work,

Michael.

It's very good.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Well,

When I say it's good,

It touches my heart,

And it is what works if you really kind of seek to grab hold and really let it in.

I feel incredibly touched.

Oh,

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

I feel this.

It's good.

Good.

Anybody else got anything?

Does anybody need a lot of love from the group at all?

Who wants a whole bunch of love sent to you?

Alex.

Yeah.

You want some love?

Okay.

Let's give Alex huge amounts of love.

Yeah.

Sweetie pie.

Yeah.

Sweet.

Yeah.

Grace.

Grace for Alex.

Yeah.

Grace for Alex.

Grace for Alex.

Right.

It's funny,

I can feel your mom too,

Alex.

I can feel your mom coming to kind of soothe you.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

And compassion for yourself,

Sweetie.

Those little munchkins,

I remember those days,

And they're glorious,

But it's like a zoo.

It's just,

Yeah.

And take what you need.

Make sure that you get whatever you need.

And then when we get what we need,

We become better with our kids.

Yeah.

I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong.

It's all good.

It's just a general comment.

We're all so sensitive,

You guys.

Sometimes just when I speak,

I can see you wilt a bit.

Yeah.

And also for Stephanie.

Let's love for Stephanie.

Lots and lots of love for Stephanie.

Yeah.

And grace.

Yes,

Grace.

What will happen is the mind will let go,

Stephanie.

At some point,

It will let go.

You're in what I would call,

You know,

Something opens and closes,

A clench.

It's like a clench.

We get,

You know,

Like the cervix will,

Giving birth,

It opens,

And then there's a cramp,

And there's a clench.

So,

You're in the clench.

That's all.

And it will release.

It will let go.

Just keep focusing on grace,

And the ego will go,

Oh,

She's not buying into all this shit anymore.

Oh,

Well.

I guess we'll have to dissolve.

Yeah.

For George and Sebastian,

Is there anything at your end?

Anything?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

Blessings.

Maxie?

Maxie?

How are you?

Hello,

Everybody.

I am actually much better than the last weeks.

I felt like a shift.

It was like on the night from Friday to Saturday.

I felt like a big relief.

I could sleep better,

And I woke up in the morning much better.

I can breathe deeper,

And it felt like something was taking off my shoulders.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

That was amazing to feel,

Because it was really dark the weeks before.

So,

Yeah,

I'm very thankful for that.

Yeah.

And on the other hand,

I feel like the hiding,

When you talked about the hiding,

I was like,

Okay,

Please,

Out of this hiding.

I'm sick of it.

Please.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweet one,

Sweet one.

I could feel even in when you're saying enough of the hiding,

I'm so sick of it.

Well,

Sweetie,

There's not enough love.

You're not saying it with enough love.

Yeah.

Yeah,

And that's why it doesn't work.

It's like you just don't know that there's love for you,

That there's enough love for you,

Sweetie.

Yeah,

I know.

I know.

Oh,

Sweetie pie.

Yeah.

And you try so hard,

And you correct yourself and everything,

And it's,

You just don't know about the love,

About the grace.

Yeah,

Sweetie.

That's it.

Oh,

Sweet one.

Yeah,

It's all good,

Maxie.

It's all good.

There are many lives that have brought you here,

And you know what I saw?

A really big rock was lifted off you when you were talking.

It was like I could see how this big rock on your back had kept you bowed and everything,

And you were moving into standing tall.

So just,

Sweetie,

You're in the process.

It's all good.

It's all good.

You're in the process of doing it.

This is it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Thanks for telling again.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's okay,

And remember,

Another joke,

Another layer of the comedy of the spiritual journey,

It's already happened,

So you're not even in control of when you start loving yourself.

I know.

It's like Monty Python or something.

I know.

I know.

Because,

Yeah,

It's like,

That's why it's like,

Just ask for grace.

It's like,

I will do what I will.

Ask for grace and enjoy your food,

You know?

It's kind of like,

Just be simple,

You know?

Abraham used to talk about how,

Just be like a cow chewing the cud with the vacant eyes and just be open.

Have an empty mind.

Be like a cow.

Don't be thinking about going anywhere.

Be like a cow,

Empty eyes,

And what will happen is,

The insights will come.

It's like,

God can speak to you then.

You can hear it,

Because your mind's not so busy.

When the soul starts to move,

The mind gets very busy.

But we need a quieter mind.

So,

Sometimes we just have to watch our mind racing.

There's nothing you can do about it.

You just have to watch it,

And it will calm down.

Your mind will be quiet,

And you'll be able to hear insights.

I want to tell you something,

Though.

I missed it.

When I was talking to you about how our world is like,

The soul goes through this kind of jelly substance and makes the tracks that we then live out.

I heard this,

And I'll tell you why I told you.

With the process of self-realization,

It is like getting a new car,

And then you have to learn how to drive.

Okay.

It's a little bit bumpy at the beginning.

This one made a significant mistake.

It was a mistake.

It was in the early days,

And it was a mistake.

I'll tell you how I knew.

Suddenly,

I felt like this whole world was like being in a bowl of jelly.

It had just been shaken kind of violently,

But there was no earthquake.

There was nothing that happened outside,

But that was totally this one's inner experience for getting a major correction of wrong way.

Don't do it.

Wrong.

Yeah.

Really,

It was like I was in a jelly bowl that had been shaken.

It didn't hurt,

But it was like feeling the whole fabric of this reality being shaken like that with the feel of it as if everything was like a jelly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was very sobering,

And I'll tell you,

I took that very seriously.

It was like,

Okay.

Yeah.

But also,

That's how different reality seems now to this one.

It's just not the same at all.

The only thing that this one has done is allowed the separation between her true Amma nature to dissolve.

I feel like sometimes I'm going,

You know who,

It's safe.

It's safe.

Don't worry.

It's unsettling process,

But it's really safe.

The results will be that your life gets brighter and brighter as you proceed,

Brighter and more peaceful,

More love powerful.

But,

You know,

Again,

It takes time.

I mean,

Oh,

Man.

I remember once sitting,

It was completion after a summer with Abraham,

And he said,

How are you,

Janet?

And I said,

Well,

Abraham,

After all the song and dance of this summer,

You know,

On the 18 hours of movement and all just the dramas going on with,

You know,

25 spiritual students,

I felt like I'd grown that much,

Like an inch,

An inch.

After all this sound and fury,

About one inch.

And he said,

Well,

That's progress.

Yeah.

But I remember what that was like.

Yeah.

And I tried so hard.

And,

You know,

I wanted to be a spiritual superstar.

And I remembered that nobody listened to me when I spoke.

And I didn't think anything I had to say was that great.

Yep.

And it wasn't.

Wasn't at all.

I was a total know-nothing,

Well-intended,

But yeah.

Remember,

It's already happened.

And you're exactly where you need to be.

And remember,

You know,

Amma talks about the tapestry,

That if you look on the other side of a tapestry of an embroidery,

You know,

There's a beautiful picture on the front,

But the other side of it is this mess of threads sticking up from everywhere.

It looks ugly.

This is what our lives look like to us on the journey.

A bunch of ugly threads.

We're not doing it right.

And it's because we can't see the other side of what we're creating.

But it's very,

Very beautiful.

Truly,

It's very,

Very beautiful.

And you know,

In your heart,

You will know in your heart what you're creating.

On some very subtle levels,

You'll know what you're creating.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Truly.

You maybe don't admit them to yourselves.

Maybe you don't feel you deserve what you're creating.

A lot of you do this to yourselves.

For years and years,

When I was in the journey,

I'd go,

Well,

Where is it?

I kind of have this feeling of who I could be.

Where is it?

And it was only when I totally gave up on the whole thing,

It's like,

Well,

I guess I'm just going to be an old person stuck in my ego.

It was kind of like,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

A poor old person stuck in my ego.

Oh,

Well.

And sort of when I got there,

It was like then I really accelerated.

The most important thing is just that you're on the journey and you're doing this.

And sometimes it takes more than one life,

Which can be seen as discouraging.

But in the big picture,

You know,

You might end up with a life where you get it when you're 14 years old,

You know.

You have 60 years of great happiness.

I don't know.

It's like your soul knows what it's doing.

Your soul knows what the plan is.

It's already happened.

Please,

I'm just getting this really strongly coming from the divine in me about asking for Amma's grace,

The creator's grace.

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please ask for it,

You know.

And what will happen is you might think it's not coming,

And then you'll forget about it,

And then you're going to trip over it almost.

You'll go,

Oh my God,

Here it is.

And then as you get these experiences,

You'll trust more.

Remember,

You know,

The creator is taking care of everything,

And everything is all right.

And the more you can sink into that.

Yeah.

Funny,

I'm getting the words,

Why,

Please sink into that.

It's really strong about this God's grace,

You know.

Like it's coming in so strongly to encourage you to focus on that.

Amma's grace,

Creator's grace.

You know,

The more that you move into truth,

The more this grace just weaves into your life seamlessly.

And it's just always there making things easier for you.

Because you see,

When you allow your ego to die,

Then the universe,

Then you can receive the love of the universe.

You let the universe take care of you then.

And that changes everything.

Yeah,

Please.

And if you're not there yet,

You know,

I sat there and went,

Well,

Abraham,

I've grown an inch.

Okay.

But you know,

It's like building the structure.

You have to do some structural work before you can build your temple.

And the foundation has to be really solid so it can handle a very beautiful,

Beautiful temple.

And you're so loved.

I'm just,

Oh,

You guys,

The other thing,

You know,

When you pray,

This alters things.

It was,

You know,

There was a beautiful near-death experience that I heard.

This woman had had a close-up look about prayer,

And it was like she saw how it altered all these threads and altered the future,

Altered the threads,

Altered what happened to the people who were prayed for,

Altered what happened to the people who were praying.

You know,

Look what the prayer did with my son with leukemia.

It's just,

You know,

And the most emotional,

Deeply felt prayer is the most powerful.

It's like a kid with a mom.

If the kid's really upset,

The mom comes running.

You know,

Every mom knows the difference in the sound when a kid is in real trouble and when they're just like having a tantrum or crying out of anger.

There's a pitch.

And it's the same with us.

When we get so that we really like,

I really need help,

Help.

Mama comes running.

Grace comes running.

And the more you go on the journey,

And the more you clear,

The more the ego's cleared,

The more powerful your prayer gets,

And the quicker it happens,

The less delay between the prayer and the event.

Yeah,

So don't,

Don't be scared to let your emotions rise and to feel,

You know,

Say how desperate and frustrated you are.

And then pray with all of that.

Like Abraham,

You know,

This aboriginal way is so beautiful.

They,

He would just say,

Use everything,

Embrace everything,

Use everything.

So,

So if there was anger,

Use the anger and put it in the prayer.

It's sort of like a little kid,

You know,

If the little kid's really angry at mom,

Mom,

Why don't you love me?

Why don't you love me?

And it's okay to be,

It's gonna,

Like,

Her heart's gonna open.

The creator's heart will open.

If you're raging because you're not feeling loved,

Or your dreams aren't coming true,

You're all better than you know.

I feel like I'm going to be feeling you guys after this,

And working with you.

Don't be disheartened or,

You know,

Just remember,

The journey's not easy.

But,

You know,

It's kind of like,

Well,

Who wants to be stuck in the ego?

So it's kind of between a rock and a hard place.

And,

You know,

If you're in,

This too will pass.

And may you think about grace,

You guys.

Yeah.

Practice.

Become a good,

A very A++ receiver of grace.

Yeah.