Self Compassion The Journey: A Muscle We Can Exercise!
A podcast-style mindfulness discussion on life experiences that dive deeply into the unchartered waters often ignored... Which in turn integrates towards shedding light on Happiness through Self-Compassion, which in point leads passionately through encouraging Self-Awareness in the ability to exercise Self-Compassion as if it were a muscle in our physical body. This track contains ambient sounds in the background
Transcript
On the topic of self-compassion,
Self-compassion is definitely the gateway to understanding yourself but also the gateway to happiness.
I truly believe that when we are being compatible with ourselves and we're open to giving ourselves that true self-authenticity and just love and compassion but also patience for ourselves being someone who is working on it all the time,
Perfectionist.
I struggle.
I struggle even to push this workout.
There's so many mini vlogs,
Podcasty type of talks like this,
Meditations where it's just hard.
It's hard to be okay with what we say,
What we do,
How we look and it doesn't even need to be in comparison to others.
It's just comparing to ourselves.
I feel like I'm in that place where I'm comfortable enough to go out to a Fleming steakhouse $150 meal wearing sweatpants and totally being okay.
However I'm not okay with looking at my body previous years to corona versus now or listening to my recording and saying,
Oh my God,
I can't believe I said that.
What was I meaning or why was I just,
Why did I say it that way?
It sounded so weird,
My voice,
The tone,
The emphasis,
Whatever you want to call it,
Whatever you want to say.
It's like we just nitpick at ourselves and it comes to a point where you've got to look at yourself and just say enough is enough.
So much therapy,
Medication,
Years,
Books,
Research,
Self-study,
All to find that the gate to happiness is just self-compassion.
Is anyone ever truly happy?
I'm not sure if you guys are aware of a documentary that's out.
It's called the Generation Wealth.
It follows the timeline of a bunch of individuals that essentially are put in these life positions.
They're born or they walk into an extreme amount of wealth.
Maybe they just have such a powerful lifestyle and they become accustomed to it that it just overwhelms and takes over them.
But it's like a few of the people in the video said.
You know,
They buy a prestigious name brand item and then they come to the point of what's next?
Okay.
So I got this $20,
000 bag.
What's next?
What's next?
What's next?
What's next?
Nothing is ever good enough.
We are becoming a culture in that whether it's studies,
Self-worth,
Self-compassion,
Or items,
Materials,
It's never enough.
We can have a house and a roof over our head.
We can have a car that works.
We can have a fit and healthy body,
But it's not picturesque.
It's not what we're seeing on TV.
It's not what we're seeing in magazines.
It's not what we envision for ourselves.
Nothing is ever okay when we don't have that self-compassion.
We need to rethink,
Rewire,
And re-administer that process into ourselves.
When we become self-serving,
We can obtain the ability to become truly happy with ourselves.
And when we're truly happy with ourselves,
The little things in life are so minuscule.
It doesn't take a little bit of wind to blow over your house,
Your house of cards.
It stands tall.
It's now glued.
It's cemented.
It's in place.
It would take a lot more than just some weather to blow over your house of cards,
Essentially.
So by realizing first the issue,
When we nitpick at ourselves,
When we nitpick at others,
When we see in others things that we don't like and then we notice maybe,
Hey,
I don't like that because I see that myself in them.
That's oftentimes when I find myself personally distancing myself from someone and then I have to check in with myself.
I'm like,
Hey,
Why?
Why am I acting or reacting this way to the situation with this particular person?
What is it?
What is it about the situation that is making me feel uneasy?
It's good to check in.
It's healthy to check in.
We need to check in.
There's not enough checking in.
I'm sure that now at this point,
We live in a world where people are saying they are woke,
Yet they are sleeping.
They go by the words of what other people say instead of checking in with themselves and having some self-compassion.
What I mean by that too is also it could fall categorically into opinion-based because we live in a society right now where if you say something and somebody else doesn't agree with you and then there's 10 people behind them versus you just behind your own train of thought and opinion,
People are more prone to go against you in your opinion when the other side is skewed and has more numbers.
Life doesn't need to be like that.
We need to believe in ourselves.
We need to believe in our compassion.
We need to believe in our truth and we need to be okay with our own values and our own understandings and our different viewpoints.
We need to appreciate that in each other.
No one ever said that the road was easy.
Self-compassion isn't easy.
It takes time.
It takes grace.
It takes patience.
It takes distancing and it takes a lot of time.
I'm not there yet.
There's no way.
Sometimes I think to myself and I talk to people who are much more wise and they just,
It's a continual struggle for them as well because in a world where we praise youth and we don't like aging for instance,
Everyone is constantly combating that.
Everyone is trying to find the bottle of youth,
The pill that makes you lose weight,
Something that makes your organs healthier,
Something other than juicing that tastes extremely delicious.
But in reality,
It's like,
Let's just be ourselves.
Let's just be happy with who we are.
Let's just,
You know,
Give ourselves some appreciation,
Some understanding for just being,
Be thankful.
I remember being in a yoga class one time and I didn't feel very thankful.
I felt thankful for certain things in life.
Yes,
Of course,
But it wasn't to the extent that this yoga teacher brought to life.
She had us sitting in a seated position.
We were looking at our left hand and she told us to say silently in our mind's eye and our thoughts that we're thankful for our hands.
We're thankful for our body and our nervous system for functioning in the way that it does and for just having some grace.
I mean,
My hands have more wrinkles now in my mid thirties.
They're not like I was in my early twenties,
Prime and pristine.
It's like it tells the story of what I've been through and that's what makes it different.
That's what makes it me having compassion for my past,
For my overcomings,
Through my struggles,
Through my journey.
The good and the bad,
Both combined,
Essentially leading to the wrinkles all over my hands.
I may not like it.
They have laser,
They have body peels.
They have all these modalities that could possibly make my hands look more youthful.
But you know what?
I'm just going to stick it out with my SPF cream and do what's right for my body.
I'm not trying to be somebody that I'm not.
Of course,
I do want to age gracefully,
But I do believe that we need to have that strong self compassion,
That we need to be okay with our roots of who we are,
That we need to realize that love is a journey.
It's never static.
It's always dynamic.
We're constantly changing.
And so is our attitude towards ourselves.
Now when others ideas or opinions come into play,
That's when things get a little wiggy.
We get unbalanced,
Uncentered.
We might hide from our own truth or just who we are.
So this is a reminder to bring love back in for yourself,
To bring back in compassion and kindness,
To give yourself patience and space to just grow,
To feel,
To have the days that are crummy,
To have the days that are good,
To just roll with the punches,
As they say,
To roll with the life as it rolls up or down a hill.
Either we're going up or we're going down,
But we're going.
So make yourself your favorite cup of tea or coffee.
Tell yourself that you love yourself,
Even if you don't.
It's hard.
I'm with you.
There's things about myself that I don't enjoy,
But it starts with us and it ends with us.
We can't have someone else do the work of self-compassion for us.
Oftentimes I had dated a lot of people in my twenties who looked at me for validation,
Initiation to themselves.
And just as someone to be their cheerleader when they didn't want to cheer themselves up,
Eventually I wasn't enough for them.
They searched for other people who could lift up their spirits,
As if my inspiration or motivation just wasn't there for them anymore.
It used to really bother me and cut me to my core,
But I'm looking back now.
I'm glad that I didn't stick around and just let them sap my energy entirely.
It was hard at the time.
It was a very emotional ride,
That's for certain.
Those are never easy,
Especially if you're a very nurturing type and a lot of people are takers.
You know what I mean if you know what I mean.
Some of those been there,
Felt it situations.
I'm sure a lot of us on this app come here for some of those reasons.
A lot of people in this housing category are the givers.
We are the givers.
We come here to heal together,
To share our experiences,
And to move forward towards that self-compassion,
Self-healing,
Self-kindness that we so desperately and gracefully need.
And as much as people give it to us,
It's like we're never able to hold it.
We're only able to hold it when we build that self-compassion like a muscle.
We need to gain strength.
We need to keep at it.
We need to be consistent.
And then we're able to hold our own.
We don't need it from other people.
And that's the beauty in this journey.
You have the choice to build something beautiful and great within yourself.
Every day is new.
Doesn't matter.
It doesn't need to be a new year,
A new resolution,
A new you.
I think it's silly.
It's great if that's what motivates you.
Stick with it.
But for me,
That never works.
Every day is new.
You're the one who's making the choices.
You have the choice to say,
Today I'm going to give myself a little foot rub for 10 minutes,
And I'm just going to think of nothing but the way that it makes me feel calm,
Relaxed,
Relief.
And then maybe I'm going to stretch for 10 minutes.
Maybe I'm going to check out a little bit and just listen to a meditation like the one you're currently listening to.
Whatever it is,
Let it drive you and help your wings spread and soar into an ocean of kindness and self-compassion for yourself.
It's hard when we don't see it in ourselves.
Maybe our parents don't even see it in us.
Our loved ones don't even see it in us.
They look at us and they think everything is all right because we put on a front,
We put on a cover,
Put on a face.
It's not really how we are inside.
We come here for relief,
For understanding,
For sharing.
I just want you to know that you're not alone.
Definitely there with you.
Self-compassion is a journey.
Like I had mentioned,
It's a muscle at the start today.
By ending on a positive meditation together,
We're going to close our eyes,
Sit up nice and tall or lie down.
We're just going to take three rounds of repeating the word in our head.
You can even say it out loud.
Positive mantra can definitely change for positive outlook.
Positive mantra that I'm choosing to share is,
I am completely enough.
So I'm going to go ahead and repeat that three times.
Let it sink in and melt,
Planting that seed within me,
Within you.
I am completely enough.
I am completely enough.
I am completely enough.
Now we're going to do a self-compassion mantra.
Love lives within me.
Love lives within me.
Love lives within me.
Great.
Gently taking the shoulders back,
Taking a few rolls,
Maybe taking the neck side to side.
Taking a deep breath in through the nose,
Audible exhale out the mouth.
Letting it go.
Filling your lungs with some kindness,
Patience,
Happiness,
Love and light.
Wishing you all the best on your journey of self-compassion.
May you be complete without chasing perfection.
Allow for the progress to be the pace that sets your soul free.
Have a blessed,
Beautiful rest of your day.
Feel free to share any mantras below are words that you think will help others in need for self-compassion and kindness.
Namaste.
Thank you.
