Greetings friends,
This is Mark Gladman,
Also known as Brother Frederick James,
Your friendly neighbourhood Monk in Docks.
Welcome back to another installment in our series,
Look Again.
Question.
What if you've been looking for your calling in the wrong place?
Now,
I raise this question because a lot of us think calling is something that's hidden.
Our purpose is out there,
Somewhere.
That God has a plan,
A very specific plan,
And our job is to try and find it.
So because of that,
We're always thinking about,
Am I in the right job,
The right city?
The right relationship,
The right decisions,
The right path.
And we have this idea on our heads that if we choose incorrectly that somehow we're going to miss the will of God,
But I want to suggest to you today that this is a I guess the word's terrifying.
Way to live.
Because.
.
.
Every single decision.
Suddenly becomes some sort of test,
A spiritual test.
Should I take this job?
Should I move?
Should I stay?
Is this the person I should marry?
Should I leave?
Should I study?
Do I need to change direction?
Beneath all of those questions is probably a bigger question.
God,
What exactly do you want me to do?
As though perhaps somewhere God has this detailed blueprint for our lives but God's hidden it and now we're supposed to find it.
But what if calling isn't like that?
What if.
.
.
Vocation.
And purpose.
Isn't some.
.
.
I don't know,
Secret.
Answer.
What if this is all about an invitation?
Because he's the thing.
I like to think that if God has only one narrow path for our lives,
Like one correct job,
One correct location,
One correct sequence of decisions,
Most of us.
Probably should be terrified.
What if we miss it?
What if I made the wrong choice when I was 22 and now I'm 53?
What if.
.
.
One bad decision.
.
.
Takes me permanently off course for the rest of my life?
What if that means that I've ruined the plan?
Now,
To me,
This doesn't sound much like grace.
This sounds like some sort of I don't know,
Cosmic treasure hunt.
And so maybe we've confused God's guidance with God's control.
So I'd like to suggest this.
What if God is less interested in controlling every decision you make and more interested in the kind of person you're becoming.
While you make those decisions,
And that's a very different question.
This is a question that.
.
.
Is not the one we're asking.
The one we're asking is,
What's the one correct thing I'm supposed to do?
But the question that this prompts us to ask is,
Who am I becoming?
And when we think about it this way.
.
.
Calling and purpose.
ISM.
It's nothing to do with finding the perfect path,
But it's about learning to walk it.
Whatever path we happen to be on with love.
Think about the people Jesus calls.
The words he says are,
Follow me,
And that's it.
There's no plan he doesn't give.
Those First Disciples' personality questionnaires to fill out?
There's no five-year plan going on.
He invites them to follow him.
This is a relationship.
And they discover who they are and who he is.
When they walk alongside him.
And I'm here to suggest today that that's maybe how calling and purpose works,
That you don't always discover it by standing there and trying to figure everything out.
You actually discover it when you live it.
You discover it by trying and failing and paying attention by noticing what life gives you,
Noticing where.
Life breaks your heart?
Noticing what you can't ignore.
Noticing what happens when your gift meets the needs of the world.
And so,
I'd like to suggest to you today that calling is often discovered looking backwards.
You look back on your life and you see something like a thread running through it and you go,
Oh.
So that's been there all along.
That's why.
.
.
I don't think you have to find one grand purpose before life begins.
Your life's already happening.
You're already somewhere.
There's already people around you and there's already needs you can see and there's already gifts that you have.
There's already love that you're being asked to share.
You're calling.
I don't think is hiding somewhere in the future.
It's standing right in front of you.
Who needs you to listen right now?
Who needs your kindness?
What work.
Has been placed in your hands to do.
What injustice!
Can you not turn away from at the moment?
What beauty are you capable of creating?
What are you positioned to offer?
Maybe that's where we start.
Sometimes.
Your calling today.
Is to make a phone call.
Or to forgive someone,
Or.
.
.
To do your work and do it honestly and as best as you can,
Or to notice the lonely person,
Or to tell the truth.
Or to make something beautiful or just to show up.
I mean,
We can spend so much time waiting for the great purpose of our lives.
That we miss those little invitations that are already here,
And as a result,
We actually don't live life for quite some time.
And I think that's what makes this thing.
You know,
Kind of ironic.
We're all asking the question,
God,
What's my purpose?
And God's sitting there saying,
Hi.
Look,
Pay attention,
What's in front of you?
Look at what's happening in this moment with this person,
This gift,
This wound,
This opportunity,
This need.
And this is where I think calling comes in.
Becomes even more freeing.
Because your calling and your vocation isn't necessarily the same as your job.
And some of you are saying,
Well,
Thank goodness for that.
Well,
What happens if you lose your job?
What happens when you retire?
And my golly,
Have I seen this happen in people who've retired?
Where suddenly they don't know even who they are anymore because they thought that that was.
.
.
Their calling.
What happens when you change circumstances?
Do you suddenly lose your calling and your purpose?
No,
Of course not.
That deep vocation.
Is.
To become a person.
Who's capable of love.
And that vocation travels with you wherever you are and whatever you're doing.
You could live that.
It doesn't matter if you're a teacher,
Or a parent,
Or a nurse,
Or an accountant,
Or an artist,
Or a cleaner,
Or a.
.
.
A student or a retiree.
You can live it out in an office,
Or a hospital,
Or a kitchen,
On a building site,
In a classroom,
At home.
The circumstances change,
The location changes,
But the invitation is still,
Become love right here,
Right now.
And I think that's the question.
We should carry into our decisions,
Asking,
What does love ask of me here?
And the problem with that question?
It doesn't always give us easy answers.
But it does give you somewhere to stand because love isn't,
You know,
Out there somewhere.
Love pays attention.
Love listens.
It tells the truth.
It serves.
It creates.
It sometimes stays because it has to.
It sometimes leaves because it has to.
Sometimes it sets boundaries.
It takes risks.
Love doesn't always know exactly what will happen next,
But love moves.
There's some concrete action that goes with it.
And I think maybe that's what faithfulness looks like too.
Again,
Not discovering the entire.
.
.
Blueprint or 5 year plan or whatever,
But taking the next faithful step.
There's a story in the desert Mothers and Fathers about a monk who asked his elder what he should do to be saved.
And The elder simply said to him,
Stay in your cell.
And your cell will teach you everything.
And I love that idea,
Because sometimes the question about purpose rises because we're desperate to be somewhere else doing something else,
Maybe even living someone else's calling.
But the invitation of this is stay awake where you are,
Your life.
And your relationships and your failures and your longings and your grief and your joy is all trying to teach you.
And our job is to pay attention to that.
Because I don't think.
Calling.
And purpose.
Are found by looking harder and asking more questions.
I think sometimes it's discovered by looking.
Deeper.
And being more attentive.
And I think that's probably the real fear.
Under all this is because We're not just asking for purpose and calling and vocation.
We're actually asking for certainty somehow.
We want to know that we're not wasting our lives.
We want somebody else to tell us,
Yes,
This is it.
You are doing the right thing.
But look,
In my limited 53 years experience on this planet,
I can vouch for the idea that Life never,
Or at least very rarely,
Gives us that kind of certainty.
And I don't think God does either.
Instead.
.
.
We're given something much more difficult.
And this won't sound difficult,
But I want you to sit with the idea that these are difficult in the context of vocation and calling and purpose.
The things that are more difficult are things like freedom.
Responsibility.
Love.
Attention.
The next step.
And maybe the next step is all we need,
Because we really don't need.
.
.
To see the whole road.
We only need enough light for the next few steps we need to take.
So friend,
Can I encourage you today,
As best as you can,
And I know it's difficult,
I'm not saying this is easy,
But as best you can.
Stop worrying so much about finding a calling or a purpose.
If you're feeling like you've lost it,
Maybe you haven't lost it.
Maybe you're expecting it to arrive.
As an answer.
When actually it's been sitting in front of you as some sort of invitation,
Right here,
Right now,
Today,
In that conversation that you're having,
Or in that work that you're doing,
Or in that person who you are with,
Or in the moment in which you find yourself.
So the question to ask is,
What is life asking of me?
Not forever,
Not for the next 20 years,
But right now.
What does love ask of me right now?
Here and then as honestly as you can.
Take the next step.
Because my hunch.
.
.
Is that calling isn't a destination that's waiting for you somewhere in the distance somewhere.
It's the person you are becoming as you learn to walk.
And all you need to do is pay attention to what's right in front of you.
And take the step as you notice it there.
All you really have to do.
Is look again.
And may grace,
Peace and love hold you as you do today and always.
Amen.
Until tomorrow.
Bye for now.
