Hello friends.
This is Mark Gladman,
Also known as Brother Frederick James,
Your friendly neighborhood monk in dogs.
Welcome back to our series,
What Do You Want?
So far,
We've been learning to listen to desire.
We've begun with Jesus asking,
What are you looking for?
And then do you want to be made well?
Today,
We come to one of the most direct versions of the question.
Jesus asks,
What do you want me to do for you?
And the people he asks are James and John,
Two of his disciples.
Two people who'd been following him.
Who've left things behind to walk with him.
And yet,
What they ask for is so deeply human.
They want greatness.
They want position.
They want to be close to Jesus when he comes in his glory.
They want to sit beside him.
I want to mash her.
And it's very easy to hear this story and think,
Well,
That's obviously the wrong answer.
James and John are ambitious,
They're self-interested,
They're trying to get ahead of everyone else.
And Jesus corrects them,
But.
.
.
As always,
I think there's something much more deeper and much more interesting happening here because I'm thinking.
That we need to resist the temptation to dismiss their desire too quickly.
Underneath that desire for position.
Is something perfectly human.
They want their lives to matter.
They want to be significant.
They want to belong to something important.
They want to be close to Jesus.
They want to know that their lives have counted.
For something.
Those aren't necessarily bad desires.
In fact,
All of them,
At least some of them,
Are very deeply good.
The problem isn't necessarily then what they want.
It's what their desire has become tangled up with.
They don't simply want to matter.
They want to matter more than the others.
They don't just want to be close to Jesus,
They want the best seats.
It's not just participating in the kingdom that they want,
It's the status within that.
Suddenly a good desire.
Has become distorted,
Or maybe that's the only way they know.
To ask for it,
And in their minds and the world that they are aware of,
That's not the kingdom of God.
Maybe that's the only thing they can see that,
Well,
This is what it looks like.
For that thing that we feel.
And so I think it's worth paying attention.
To this in our own lives,
Because our desires.
.
.
Aren't always completely pure.
We can want something good for mixed reasons.
Maybe you want to do meaningful work,
And that's great,
But maybe you also.
.
.
Want people to notice that you're doing meaningful work.
Maybe you want to serve others,
Beautiful,
But maybe you also want to be needed.
And that's why you want to serve others.
Maybe you want to come successful.
Nothing inherently wrong with that at all,
But maybe.
.
.
You also want success because you're afraid that without it,
You won't be enough.
Maybe you want to be a good parent,
Good teacher,
Good leader,
Good Christian.
And may be part of that desire,
Is genuinely loving,
Or may be part of it.
Is also the desire to be admired.
So let's take a moment to listen to the story before we go on.
And we're reading from Mark chapter 10 verses 35 to 45.
James and John,
The sons of Zebedee,
Came forward to him and said to him,
Teacher,
We want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.
And he said to them,
What is it you want me to do for you?
And they said to him,
Grant us to sit,
One at your right hand and one at your left,
In your glory.
' But Jesus said to them,
You don't know what you're asking.
Are you able to drink the cup that I drink or be baptised with the baptism that I am baptised with?
They replied,
We are able.
Then Jesus said to them,
The cup that I drink,
You will drink.
And with the baptism with which I'm baptized,
You will be baptized.
But to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to grant.
But it is for those for whom it has been prepared.
And when the ten heard this,
They began to be angry with James and John.
So Jesus called them and said to them,
You know that among the Gentiles,
Those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them.
And their great ones are tyrants over them.
It is not so among you.
But whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant.
And whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all.
For the Son of Man came not to be served,
But to serve.
And give his life as a ransom.
For many.
So you can see that.
With all the things we've discussed,
How this is where Jesus' question becomes really interesting.
What do you want me to do for you?
Imagine Jesus asking you that.
What would you say?
Which wants for something that.
.
.
Would make your life easier?
For success or healing or security,
Recognition,
Maybe more time,
More money,
Different jobs.
Better relationship.
Would you ask him to make you important?
Or make you free.
Sometimes we don't actually know what.
We're asking for.
We think.
We're asking for an outcome,
But underneath that outcome.
.
.
Is a feeling.
James and John want the seats beside Jesus,
But.
.
.
What might those seats represent?
Importance,
Security,
Recognition.
Maybe for them it's the reassurance that they belong or that they've made the right choice in following Jesus.
Maybe their desire is really saying,
Tell me that I matter.
And that's a very different prayer.
I think this is one of the most important things we can learn about desire.
The thing we want.
Is not always the thing we need.
And sometimes.
.
.
The thing we want.
Points towards something much deeper.
We want more money.
Perhaps what's underneath that is freedom.
We want recognition.
But the true thing underneath that is reassurance.
We say we want success,
But when we poke the bear,
We discover that it's more about significance.
We want control.
But it comes from actually desiring safety.
We want someone to love us.
And maybe deep down.
It's the deep desire to know that we're worthy of love.
And I think this is where Jesus can begin to meet us.
And you'll notice Jesus doesn't shame the desire of James and John.
But he helps them understand it.
If we.
.
.
Just condemn our desires.
We learn nothing from them.
But if we're willing to be curious about them,
They can become our teachers.
We can ask.
What is this desire trying to tell me?
What am I hoping it will give me?
What would it mean about me?
If I got this.
And perhaps more importantly,
Who would I become?
If I received what I'm asking for.
Jesus' response.
To James and John isn't just simply Don't want that.
No,
He begins to teach them a completely different understanding of greatness.
In the kingdom of God,
Greatness isn't about being above other people,
It's about becoming available.
To other people about service and giving yourself away.
About becoming the kind of person who doesn't need to be first and then Suddenly.
Jesus has transformed the question.
They came asking,
Can we be great?
And Jesus begins to show them,
What if greatness means becoming someone who can love deeply.
And that's a radical reorientation of desire right there.
Because the spiritual life isn't ultimately about making ourselves smaller,
But about allowing our desires to become larger.
We don't stop wanting significance per se,
But we discover a different kind.
Of significance.
We discover a different definition of greatness.
We discover that our lives matter most when they become gifts.
This is where we need to be careful about the way we sometimes talk about ambition.
Because there's a temptation amongst people who see themselves as spiritual,
And yes,
Within the Christian tradition.
To think that ambition itself is sinful.
But maybe ambition can be purified.
You can want to do something extraordinary.
You can want to create something.
You can want to lead and build and make a difference.
You can want to become excellent at something.
You can want your life to count.
Those desires don't need to be destroyed.
But they do need to be examined because the question is,
What is this ambition for?
Is it about proving yourself?
Or expressing yourself?
Is it about being above others?
Or contributing something to others?
Is it about being admired?
Or is it about being useful?
Is it about filling a hole in yourself?
All around something within you.
To become fully alive,
And this is why.
I don't think the answer to the question,
What do you want,
Should be,
I shouldn't want anything.
That's not freedom.
Freedom isn't the absence of desire.
Freedom is becoming able to desire something without being controlled.
By it,
To be able to say,
I want this,
And then let me discover whether this desire is worthy of my life.
And that's a very different way of approaching our inner lives.
We don't have to be frightened.
By what we discover.
We can bring it to Jesus.
We can say.
This is what I want.
This is what I'm afraid.
I want.
This is what I wish I wanted.
This is what I think I should want.
This is what I secretly want and we can let Jesus look at all of it and we can look at it with Him.
Jesus and because Jesus already knows.
He knew what James and John wanted.
And he knows what we want too.
So the question isn't about giving Jesus information,
It's about allowing ourselves.
To be honest,
So am I.
Today.
Think about one desire in your life that feels particularly strong,
Something you're pursuing or you're hoping for,
Something you want people to notice or you wish would happen.
And please don't be judgmental.
Just look at it.
And then ask.
.
.
What do I imagine this will give me?
And then when you've spent some time with that question go deeper.
What will it make me believe about myself?
And once you have those two answers,
You can ask yourself the ultimate question of honesty with those two answers in the background.
You ask?
So what am I really?
Longing for here.
Maybe you'll discover.
That your desire isn't something to get rid of.
Maybe it needs to be redirected.
Maybe your desire for achievement,
Say,
Is really a desire to contribute.
Maybe your desire for recognition is a desire to know that you matter.
Maybe you have a desire for success,
But deep down it's really a desire to use your gifts.
Maybe you desire to be seen,
But really deep down it's a desire to be known.
With all this.
Maybe Jesus isn't saying stop wanting.
Maybe he's saying,
Let me teach you how to want.
And want well.
So here's the question.
To take with you into the day.
Think of something.
That you deeply want something that matters to you.
Something you're pursuing,
And imagine Jesus asking you.
What do you want me to do for you?
What would you ask?
And then don't stop there.
Ask yourself,
If I received exactly what I'm asking for,
What do I hope it would finally tell me?
About myself.
And maybe beneath that answer.
You'll begin to discover what you really want.
And may grace,
Peace and love go with us as we hold this question today and always.
