Today I want to talk about the possibility of setting down our pain burden.
I know that many people,
Including myself,
Have dealt with,
Are dealing with or will face someday deep profound pain.
It might be physical pain,
Emotional pain,
Spiritual pain,
All kinds of pain and suffering and as we look out at the world and we see other people in pain.
And so how do we manage,
How do we be with pain and how do we learn to process pain in a powerful way?
There was a quote that I came across recently that I want to share to start this off today and I don't have that steel trap mine so I haven't memorized it,
But I do have it here and I want to get it right.
It's by a person named Laurie Desheen.
Here's how it goes.
Be the person who breaks the cycle.
If you were judged,
Choose understanding.
If you were rejected,
Choose acceptance.
If you were shamed,
Choose compassion.
Be the person you needed when you were hurting,
Not the person who hurt you.
Vow to be better than what broke you,
To heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart,
Not your pain.
And so I think that there's an invitation in this and I know that in the moments where I've been in really a deep,
Dark,
Painful space,
These words might not be very helpful because she's got a lot of choose this and vow to do this.
And when I've been in pain,
Often it's felt difficult for me to make a different choice other than the pain that I'm in.
And yet,
Sometimes words like this can wake us up because one of the things that circulates quite a bit in the world is hurt people hurt people.
And so when we're in pain,
We then become a potential person to be harmful to other people.
Sometimes it's to a stranger who really isn't trying to harm us,
But we're in such pain,
We react negatively or to some love of our life or our children that we act out in some negative way,
All because we're in pain that we haven't made peace with,
Haven't processed,
Haven't sat down.
And so I'd really like to talk about the opportunity to do that.
And I want to start by inviting us to consider some questions if we're in pain,
Just to ask questions.
And the first question is,
What is this pain trying to teach me,
Tell me or show me?
That's a really important question.
Years ago,
I experienced pretty debilitating back pain.
And I will admit that prior to that experience,
I was a little arrogant about people who were always in physical pain.
I thought that they should just get over it.
They should get a pill,
Get a doctor,
Get a shaman,
Get a guru,
Get a prayer,
Whatever they needed and just get over it was really my take on things.
And I was a little judgy.
And so then when I found myself in this profound pain that was keeping me from getting up and living the life I wanted to live,
It was very humbling.
And the way that I got through it was to really be in it and to really take a look at it.
When I realized,
Wow,
You've been kind of arrogant,
I started to have compassion for myself and for other people who had experienced such pain.
And I began to really process and ask myself,
What is this about for me?
What is this pain showing me about myself and telling me about myself?
And it was a really profound opportunity because in the moments between being frustrated and hurting and crying and feeling victimized,
There were some silent spots.
I literally put the question,
How is this pain teaching me?
What is this pain showing me?
Put it on a big piece of paper on my bed,
Put it on a wall and every once in a while I'd have a quiet moment and I would look at it.
And I would take a deep breath and I began to have images of the past showing up for me,
The past experiences of life,
Relationships,
Challenges.
And I began to sense and feel there's a connection here to this,
That what if this pain is a piece of just unprocessed hurt from my past,
Unprocessed thoughts about myself or about a situation that are now showing up in this very dramatic way and inviting me to be loving and kind with the pain and with myself.
And so the more I processed it and the more I got really clear about what it was connecting me to,
I began to do some forgiveness work.
I began to look at those old situations and see that I could let go,
That there was a part of me now that could look back and that I could set the burden of my consciousness that had locked into this painful experience,
I could set it down now.
Now I totally admit,
I also did things in the world of form.
I saw my doctor,
I did physical therapy,
I did use some pills,
Some pain pills,
I believe all of it's God and Ernest Holmes said a prayer and a pill,
It's all God.
So every time I took that pain pill,
I saw it as God in action,
Supporting my body,
Helping me in a very balanced way and found my way through that pain and experienced healing.
I was able to set the burden of the pain down,
The physical pain through the work in the physical form,
But I do believe wholeheartedly that I was helped tremendously to do that by also being willing to process the pain that was living inside me about the issues that were contributing to the physical experience and this made a huge difference for me.
And emotional pain has been much the same.
When I'm able to process that emotional pain and set it aside and process it now when I wasn't able to process it in the past,
Bring myself fully into the current moment with myself,
I can set those burdens of pain down.
What is paining you?
What is causing you pain?
And maybe you need help.
I will fully admit that when I was in my most painful moments,
I needed help.
I needed other people to help guide me,
To be with me,
And I needed compassionate people who could stand with me while I was hurting and love me through that moment.
And so many times we take our pain and we isolate ourselves because we think other people don't want to be with me when I'm in this place,
But there are people.
People in churches,
In groups,
In families,
In friendship circles who are more than happy to stand with you.
You don't have to walk through your pain alone.
And indeed a huge part of setting down the burden is to let yourself be loved even while you're in your deepest,
Darkest pain.
So thank you.
Go forward this week and take a deep breath with me.
As we just dedicate ourselves to letting go a little bit more of that which pains us.
