The most spiritual definition of forgiveness may be that it is giving God's love to another.
Or another way of putting it is that it is not stopping God's love for another.
Jesus said,
For if you only love those who love you,
What credit is that to you?
Not even the tax gatherers do the same.
But love your enemies,
And give,
Expecting nothing in return.
And your reward will be great,
And you will be sons of the Most High.
For He is kind even to the ungrateful and the wicked.
Therefore be merciful,
Just as your Father is merciful.
Bring to mind and heart someone you love and care for,
Who might have unintentionally hurt you.
Not on purpose,
But something they said or did was hurtful to you.
Notice,
Who were they then?
What was the understanding or viewpoint of life they held at the time?
Notice,
Who were you then in relationship to what happened?
What was your understanding at the time?
Acknowledge your feelings.
Notice now,
Who are you in relationship with this person and experience?
If unsure,
Declare now who you will be.
Say,
I forgive you.
I love you.
I wish you well.
I wish me well.
Bring to mind and heart someone from your past that hurt you.
Remember,
Only you can choose who this person is.
If this space and time is not right to bring someone up who has caused you considerable hurt,
You do not have to choose that person.
Desmond Tutu said,
Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies,
Or our loved ones,
Are not about pretending that things are other than they are.
It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong.
True reconciliation exposes the awfulness,
The abuse,
The hurt,
The truth.
It could even sometimes make things worse.
It is a risky undertaking,
But in the end it is worthwhile,
Because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing.
Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.
Notice Who were they then?
What was the understanding or viewpoint of life that they held at the time?
Notice Who you were then in relationship and what was your relationship to what happened?
What was your understanding at the time?
Acknowledge your feelings.
Notice now who are you in relationship with this person and experience.
If unsure,
Declare now who you will be.
Say,
I forgive you,
I love you,
I wish you well,
I wish me well.
Paul Ferrini said,
Yes,
Your compassion must go this deep.
There is no human being who does not deserve your forgiveness.
There is no human being who does not deserve your love.
Now bring to mind and heart a time when you may have hurt someone else or yourself.
Notice Who they were then?
What was the understanding viewpoint of life that you held at the time?
Notice How did your choices possibly hurt others?
How was this received by them at the time?
Acknowledge your feelings.
Notice now who are you in relationship with this person you used to be.
If unsure,
Declare now who you will be.
Say,
I forgive you,
I love you,
I wish you well,
I wish me well.
I forgive you,
I love you,
I wish you well,
I wish me well.
Parker Palmer said,
We arrive in this world undivided,
Integral,
Whole.
But sooner or later we erect a wall between our inner and outer lives,
Trying to protect what is within us or to deceive the people around us.
Only when the pain of our dividedness becomes more than we can bear do most of us embark on an inner journey toward living divided no more.
Lastly,
Bring to mind and heart anyone who you do not know but you believe has hurt society or the world in some way.
It may be an individual,
A government,
A consciousness such as racism or greed.
Notice what influenced this person's view of the world.
What is the understanding or belief that makes them the way they are,
That allows the consciousness that they envelop to still live or even thrive.
Notice and feel the impact of this person's actions,
Of this consciousness's effect.
What is the impact it's had on you or others?
Acknowledge those feelings.
Notice now who are you in relationship with this person and experience,
With this consciousness.
If unsure,
Declare now who you will be.
Say,
I forgive you.
I love you.
I wish you well.
I wish me well.
I forgive you.
I love you.
I wish you well.
I wish me well.
Ernest Holmes said,
The life that is not loved has not lived.
It is still dead.
Love is the sole impulse for creation,
And the man who does not have love as the greatest incentive in his life has never developed the real creative instinct.
No one can swing into the universal without love,
For the whole universe is based upon it.
Remembering that everyday forgiveness is about letting flow the love of life through ourselves without any inhibition or restriction.
It doesn't mean we don't have discernment or boundaries with others.
It simply means that all of life is worthy of a divine love.
May we free that love up in us to be given every day with clarity and with an emphatic heart.
