Designed To Be Awake Podcast - Episode 12 - Humility

Hey everyone, it’s Mick. This episode, “Humility,” explores one of the clearest signs of true awakening versus an ego performance. We look at the difference between genuine humility and the ego’s subtle tricks, and what real presence actually feels like in your body.

I unpack the paradox of awakening—how it’s both empowering and deeply humbling. I share my journey with ego, the swing between arrogance and insecurity, and why humility is the signpost you’re on the right path. We talk about the messiness of showing up, the temptation to perform enlightenment, and the freedom of surrendering to something greater.

Key ideas: ego can mimic insight but not embodied humility; awakening holds power and helplessness at once; false humility is still ego; real humility feels grounding and steady. When you surrender into it, you can offer your gifts without fear or performance.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow and leave a review. I’m grateful you’re here.

Transcript

You are listening to Designed to be Awake with Mick Kubiak. Hello listeners. This episode is called Humility and it's about one of the absolute ways to distinguish whether you're having an ego experience or an authentic experience of awakening. The ego jumps in really quickly and it takes a pretty good stab at appearing to be enlightened. And sometimes we don't even know we're doing it. The ego is taken over. But one of the ways you can spot it in yourself and recover from it is the feeling in your body. The way it feels to be present. That feels really different than I need these people to think I'm spiritual. I need everybody to know I'm awake. There's a wild humility when you're having the real experience. There is no arrogance. Today's episode is about humility, Which becomes really important in this larger picture of awakening. On one hand, The experience of awakening is incredibly humbling. It's inherently humbling is a better way to say it. It's this profound recognition simultaneously of your full power and your full helplessness. It's paradoxical in that way. And what I've found again in my own experience is that, You know, The ego wants to take hold of anything and everything it can to verify its existence. You know, When you go to sleep at night, There's that quote from AA that's like, Fear does pushups while you're sleeping, Something like that. I would say that's just the ego will be doing pushups while you sleep. And so something that is actually an authentic experience of awakening, The ego is like, Hmm, Okay, I don't really like that because it I don't understand it. That's really what it is. The ego is like, I don't understand what's that? Like, I don't want it and it doesn't amplify my significance. So I'm going to figure out how to co-opt it. And then you end up with just a cheap facsimile of your awakening experience. Again, I think that with all of these things, We want to just be like, Oh yeah, That happens. You don't want to get tight about it. Because it's not true, Right? It's not an enemy. You don't need to fight it and get really worried and worked up. I've had that happen to myself, Making an enemy of my ego. And again, It's unnecessary. If you just start to recognize that, Oh yeah, Relax, Let that go. Take the tools of the ego away from it. And it's tools, The way that it controls is through worry, Fear, Doubt, And the thoughts that support worry, Fear, And doubt. And then what it does in response to those thoughts is it will sometimes get completely caught up in them. That's one version of the ego trying to survive. But then the other thing it might do is kind of bury those and put a little bit of false bluster over the top of them that can look and sound very much like an awakened state of consciousness. But it's actually just a costume. It's a performance of awakened consciousness. You know, We go to sleep. We just pass out. And I don't mean literally. I mean, Both literally and metaphorically. We kind of just, I don't know, Get tired and are like, You know, It would be actually just easier to appear to be a thing rather than to actually be that thing. And why would that be? It's not actually easier. But it just, The ego sees it that way. Because the ego is the part of the self that truly does not know what we are. I mean, If we're going to go into a deep and profound exploration of like, Where is that coming from? Why did the ego even form? There are many, Many ways to go about figuring that out or coming up with some interesting theories. But just for the sake of your daily awakening, Work, Play, Experience, We don't need to do that. Because that could also be like a whole other distraction. But just suffice to say, Like, Imagine you just arrived here, Which is actually what happened. You just arrived here on the planet at some point. Most of us have no memory of deciding to do that, Choosing to do that. And yet here we are. And this is the situation. And why have I targeted the ego as, If we're even going to use the word, As the word problematic or just something to keep your eye on, Is because I have observed over the course of my lifetime that it always, Always takes me the wrong direction. Even though in the moment of ego possession, I'm a mess, Right? Because the ego can also do that. That's helpful for the ego. Like, I can't handle anything. I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm a mess. That's also an ego state. So we tend to think like, Oh, He's got a huge ego as like, You know, The quarterback movie star vibe of like, Oh, You know, I'm so great. That's just one permutation of it. Not the only one. There's also the profoundly insecure person. That's an ego state. And it's not actually any more, It's not any better than the other one. The importance of humility and feeling it. That's how you'll know that you're in the right zone. You'll feel it. And it's just this deep but not unpleasurable understanding. And as I'll always point out, For me, It has a physiological signature. Like, I feel it in my body. My body feels a certain way when humility is present. And it's really quite distinct from fake humility. I've always said like, The only thing that is worse than outright arrogance is false humility. And so in that sense, I actually, I do think like, Hey, Man, If you're in an arrogant moment, Like, Enjoy it. Let's get it out there. Let's put it into the light and see what happens. All the good feelings associated with arrogance, Because there are good feelings associated with it, Right? It's like, Amazing, All of this. They're present. Again, It's this cheap facsimile version, This performative version of a thing that is abundantly present and clear in the actual state of awakening and is not in contradiction with humility. Humility is the recognition that the greatness, The way in which we're able to shine is sourced from, I'll just say, Elsewhere. My experience, Again, My physiological experience is that I'm supported from underneath. There's just this tremendous feeling of support coming up from underneath me, And I can just sit down into it fully, Surrender fully into it, And lean back. And it makes me think of the Empress card in the tarot. For any tarot readers or enthusiasts out there, I think that's a great archetypal image of the combination of humility and therefore surrender that leads to the state of humility. And also, At the same time, Shining, Being unafraid to offer what we have to offer in this life. For me, I was definitely one of those people always sort of hiding my light under a bushel. I just didn't know what to do with it. And I absolutely alternated between arrogant strutting around with my gifts and the total opposite edge of the pendulum swing, An absolute panic. People hate me. Do you know what I mean? It went from rock star vibes all the way back over to like in a fetal position under my dining room table vibes. And that was fun. I'm not bothered by it in retrospect at all. I learned so much from that. Swinging back and forth, Which really is what I learned is the ego. Like, Oh wow, All the ego. That's all this confusion about what it means to show up and offer your gifts to the world. Confusion about what it means that people want that, That they they're here for that. They're looking at you. Like, Bring it. What are you here to bring? We sense there's something in there. What is it? And when I am residing in that deep state of knowing that I'm being carried and supported and held, And that as I lean back into that or root down into that, What I have to offer is, First of all, I don't ever really know what it is or what it's going to be, But I know that it's meant to be and that there are people who will receive it, Who are meant to receive it. Like, For example, With this episode, I just knew I was meant to about humility today, And I didn't really know what I was going to say. And I just sat down into it, Sitting down into it and feeling into what wants to be said. And I'm so very grateful to have the access to you, That you're giving me by sitting with me and listening. And with that, I will bid you good night, Good afternoon, Good morning, Whenever you're listening to this. Have a beautiful next moment, And then another one, And then another one. Thank you so much for listening today. This episode and every episode would be impossible without my amazing team, The brilliant Chase Coughlin, Who not only edits every episode, But also composed the music for the show, As well as Maya Young. If you enjoyed listening, Please leave us a review. Thank you so much for listening, And I will see you next time.