Let Go & Release: What’s Beyond Control

A soothing meditation designed to help you find peace by releasing what you cannot change. In this session, you'll be guided to let go of stress, worries, and any lingering feelings of frustration about things beyond your influence. By focusing on the present moment, this track encourages a sense of surrender and acceptance, allowing you to free yourself from mental burdens and embrace inner calm. Whether you’re dealing with uncertainty, or anxiety, or simply need a moment of relief, this meditation offers a pathway to deeper relaxation and clarity.

Transcript

Feeling worried or concerned or anxious or stressed out is a natural response to a strange and crazy world.

There are so many things going on that we could worry about and in our life it's so important for us to understand that some things we can control and improve and other things are out of our control.

And in this session we're going to discover which things are in your control so that you can make them better and which things are out of your control so instead of worrying about them unnecessarily you can consciously release and let go of that tension and worry so you can feel peace and relaxed and you can also bring your good energy back to you so you can invest that energy into the things that you can change to make your life better.

So let's discuss the three levels,

The three circles of control.

Just imagine three circles one inside of the other.

So you have a very small circle in the middle,

Smallish circle and that is the things that you can directly control.

So there are things like what you eat,

To a large degree we can choose our food,

What we think,

We can create thoughts in our mind.

We actually have a lot of different things that we can control in our lifestyle to varying degrees and we'll get into all that in a bit more detail later.

The second circle outside of that is things that we can influence in some way but we can't directly control.

So if we're working in a business or a company we might be able to influence the culture,

We can influence projects,

There's a lot of influence we have and we can affect other people's lives in various ways but we can't control it directly.

And then the biggest circle beyond that is everything else,

Everything else which includes things like the weather and things happening in other countries and different things that are out of our control and out of our influence.

So we have these three levels of life,

Things that are in our control,

Things that we can influence and then everything else.

And the reason that we can get stressed out and anxious is if we try and control the things that we can't control,

That leads to a feeling of hopelessness,

A feeling of hopelessness,

A feeling of anxiety and stress because we want to change it when it's out of our hands.

And the longer we spend trying to change things we can't change and control things we can't control,

The worse we feel,

The more hopeless we feel and all of that energy has been wasted.

So instead of using it to improve our lives it has gone into things that don't change us in any way and actually make it worse.

So the first step in changing this so that we can start feeling better and start improving our life is just to take a moment to consider these three levels and what goes into them.

So if you have a pen and paper or if you pause this you can think about it or you can write it down you can do this later,

Just go through a little exercise,

It's very powerful,

Very relieving and will give you a lot of peace.

So you can draw these circles or you can imagine them and just think about this,

What is in your control?

What can you actually control and change in your life?

So for example you can control your attitude towards things,

You can control your thinking,

You can choose what you say,

How you speak,

You can control your food.

Now sometimes we don't always have total control over these things but there's a lot of control there.

We can control what we wear most of the time,

Unless we have certain jobs,

We can often control the sort of work we do,

The people we associate with,

What we listen to,

What we watch,

Where we put things in our house,

You know,

What cups we use,

You know,

There's lots and lots of things on a daily basis that we have control over.

And when we focus on making those things better it gives us positive energy back.

So for example if your space is cluttered or unclean and messy and you actually tidy it up then you can feel better.

And now I know if you have kids and they make a mess you know it might not last very long but we still have control over these things.

So I'd like you to really tune into this,

What do you have control over?

What are you responsible for?

Where is your power?

Where can you control things?

Just knowing that you have control over these things is extremely empowering because you can come back to that again and again and again.

And not only do we have control over things we can also improve ourselves and make upgrades and changes in our life,

Physically,

Mentally,

Emotionally and spiritually.

And in our relationships and in our money and wealth.

We have so much potential once we take back control of the things that we can change.

So if you want you can pause this and write a list or you can do it later.

I personally print out a list and look at it regularly because when I'm writing a list print out a list and look at it regularly because when I remember what I'm in charge of,

What I can control,

What I'm responsible for,

I feel a big wave of energy come over me and I feel this is my life,

This is what I'm doing.

And instead of getting caught up in all these other things that stress me out,

I just do those things and it brings so much joy.

It brings so much joy and my life keeps getting better and better and better.

So I highly encourage you to have that list and look at it regularly.

Now let's move on to things you can influence but can't directly control.

So what are some of those things?

For example,

You can have an influence over other people with conversations,

Talking to them about things.

You can have an influence over other people with your work.

You can influence your work and the projects that you're involved with.

You can influence other people's opinions by talking to them and offering different perspectives and ways of thinking.

You can have an effect on public opinion.

If you have a cause that you're interested in or something that can help others,

You can share things with people and that can change people's minds.

We can't control them but we can influence them.

You can influence your environment in many different ways.

You can control some things and influence other things and of course if there are many people that you live with and they all have different opinions,

You can't control everything but you can certainly influence it.

When I was a teenager my mother started eating much more healthy and she knew that we weren't always going to be into it but she led by example and we all decided we wanted to eat what she was eating because she made food for us and food for her and we thought what she's having is better.

So the whole family was influenced into eating better because of her example.

So she didn't control us but she influenced us.

You can influence your body.

So you can lose weight or you can gain weight and you can gain strength.

You can't control the genetics and all the different factors of the body but you can certainly influence your health in a very positive way on purpose.

So just think about this.

What are all the things that you can influence in your life?

This can be very relieving because when you realize you can't control them but you can influence them then it takes a lot of the pressure off.

Oftentimes we get stressed out because we're trying to control things when we can only influence them.

So we think we can control them directly but actually we don't have that level of control and that's where the conflict comes.

That's where the internal stress comes.

As a coach,

As someone who helps people and I've been serving people for 25 years,

Thousands of people all over the world,

I've realized I can't control anyone but I can share.

I can share from my heart.

I can share my experience.

I can give people I can share my experience.

I can give people new perspectives and at the end of the day it's up to them.

And so think about this for yourself.

What can you influence?

Who can you influence?

Can't control but influence.

Just write a list if you have a moment now or you can do this later.

And there are many many things you can influence.

Studies have even shown that the mind can influence matter.

There's been various studies that show how the mind can affect the probability of certain events happening and that's a whole topic of research.

It's very interesting.

So even physically we can influence the world.

That's a world.

That's a bit more advanced but on a practical level there are many many many areas that we can influence.

And once you know this,

Once you've written this down,

You can consciously choose to release the stress from the things that you can influence but can't control.

In other words you can say to yourself I am intending to influence this in a positive direction.

That's something you can control.

You can choose to influence.

That's in your control but you're letting go of the expectation that it should work out exactly the way you want.

You're letting go of the expectation that it's going to work out exactly as you like.

By letting that expectation go,

By allowing life to be what it is,

You will come back to feeling a lot of peace and a lot of anxiety and worry and stress will dissolve.

And you can then claim back that energy and bring it to the things that you can actually directly control.

And finally the third circle is everything else.

Everything else is a lot of other things.

So global events,

Wars,

Pandemics,

Political shifts,

Natural disasters.

There's the rain and storms and extreme temperatures,

Other people,

Road rage,

Congestion,

Delays,

Roadblocks,

Economic trends,

You know like inflation,

Market fluctuations,

The fact that time is passing,

Death,

Illness,

Technology failures,

The past.

All of these things,

Most things,

We can't control at all.

We can control our response to them.

So we actually do have a lot of power.

Where things actually matter,

Our response,

We can control but we can't control all of those things.

And it's in trying to control things we can't control that we lose our power.

For example,

We can't control the weather.

Right?

If it's going to rain or if it's going to be too hot or whatever it is,

There's too many factors including the sun and all these patterns of weather.

What we can control is whether or not we wear a rain jacket or have an umbrella or whether we wear more layers or less layers,

You know.

If it's hot outside then there's no point going out in our winter gear.

We don't have to do that.

We can wear light clothes to match the weather.

We can bring water with us.

We can even have ice water,

You know,

We could pour ice water on our head if we're too hot,

Right?

If it's cold we can put on extra layers,

Get nice gloves,

You know.

So there's a lot of things that we can do to manage the environment but we can't control the environment and this is where a lot of the conflict comes.

We don't think about this and so we just complain about it.

There's no point complaining about the weather.

It doesn't change anything.

We just have to make adjustments.

So take a moment now to think about all the things you can't control.

This is by far the longest list because almost everything we can't control and that's just how it is.

Once we accept this in life we start to come into alignment with reality and when we are in alignment with reality we're much happier,

Healthier and we can create a beautiful life within the environment that we're actually living in,

Grounded in reality.

So take a moment to write down the things you can't control.

Can't control other people,

Can't control the weather.

It's really helpful to make a list.

We can't control tech companies,

We can't control the printer working all the time,

We can't control other people on the road.

Each time you write something down or you think about what you can't control and you let it go what you're doing is you're releasing stress out of your body and out of your mind.

You're actually clearing stress away.

You're telling yourself there's nothing I can do about that and then you're bringing that energy back to what you can do about it.

A useful exercise that you might like to do is to write down all the things you can't control and then burn it,

You know,

In a safe way.

Obviously burn it in a way that's safe.

It's not going to cause any problems in a fire pit or in a fireplace or something safe.

So you write them down.

It can be on a bunch of paper or all on one piece of paper and consciously cross them out or consciously cross them out and then burn the paper and just see it going away.

Sometimes I've recommended people to write them on multiple small pieces of paper or cut up a bunch of little pieces and just one at a time just put it in the fire and just consciously release these things.

I can't control these people.

I can't control the government.

I can't control this.

I can't control that.

And you're just letting that anxiety and stress dissolve out of your whole being.

It's such a relief.

It's such a relief.

Beautiful.

So let's just recap on this and how you can use this insight in your life practically.

So there are three levels of life.

There's the things that I can control.

Thoughts,

Your actions,

Your habits,

Your self-talk,

Your goals,

Your boundaries,

Your learning and growth,

Your time management,

Your attitude.

You have a lot of control.

You actually have an enormous amount of things you can control and the more you are aware of that and focus your attention on it you will feel like you're in control of your life because you literally are in control of your life doing things you can control and you will then make a positive transformation in how you feel and also you will then affect you will then affect things that you can influence.

The second thing are the things that you can influence but can't control and that's things like other people's opinions,

Your career,

Team and group projects,

Personal relationships,

The environment you create in your home,

Public opinion and causes,

Health and wellness.

You can influence all these things and you actually have quite a lot of control over these things and so what you want to do is focus on the effort that you put towards it not on the outcome because you can't guarantee it's going to work out but you can control the effort you put in.

You can practice detachment from the outcome so you can intend to help people,

You can intend to change things but ultimately you have to let go and that's where the power is.

You can also control how you assess your situation,

What the result was,

What you can learn from it.

So there are a lot of things you can influence in your life and the more you focus on what you can control the bigger the amount of things are that you can influence.

One of the reasons people don't influence things is because they're focused on things they can't control or influence at all and all that energy is wasted and so the actual influence they have is very very little.

So if you take that energy back and you only focus on what you can control then the end result is you influence a lot of other people and things much more than normal.

So you can influence a lot of things and the key is to do your best,

Focus on the effort,

Focus on having a good attitude,

Focus on trusting that life is working out and everything is okay and you still have a lot of control over the things you can control and then you let go.

And the final circle is all the other stuff,

Everything else.

The stuff in the world,

Stuff on the news,

Social media,

Almost everything on the internet you can't almost everything on the internet you can't control.

Almost everything in the world you can't control.

So when we decide to stop losing ourselves in that and bring our energy back here we massively improve the quality of our life.

So we practice radical acceptance that I've got absolutely no control over these things.

You can do some breathing exercises just to relax and remind yourself I can't control this.

There's nothing I can do except focus on feeling good myself and change my energy and focus on where I do have control.

And so by applying this,

By being aware of these things and using this method you will feel a lot happier,

You'll feel a lot more joy,

You'll feel a lot more peace,

You will actually enjoy your life significantly more.

You will feel like you've had a good day when you go to sleep because you are spending your time doing things that you can control and therefore you will be successful.

When we focus on what we can change and what we can control we can achieve success because we're doing things that we actually can change.

When we focus on doing things we can't change and moving things around that we can't move around and trying to do things that are impossible we feel awful.

So you're going to have a wonderful day by doing things that make a difference to you in your life.

Other people will be happy with you as well most of the time.

What I've noticed is that the less I try and control anyone the happier they are with me and ironically the better everything works out.

So you can influence things,

You can give good wishes,

You can have a good attitude and you'll start to notice that your whole life improves.

And the biggest success is just feeling better,

Being inspired to get out of bed,

Being excited to get on with your life because you know on a deeper level what life is about and what you can do to make a difference.

Thank you so much for being here.

I hope you've learned something useful and I hope that you use this in your life and experience the transformation that comes from learning and applying these things.

Wishing you a beautiful day,

Take care and many many blessings.

Reviews

Thank you 🙏🏻

Sat nam 🪷

Excellent! I did take notes, per your suggestion, & that really helped anchor the concepts into my consciousness. Thank you. ❤️

I listened to this as I was falling asleep and it was incredibly helpful for letting go of the extra baggage from the day that is out of my control. Very encouraging and grounding! Will go back and listen to it and take notes next time. Thank you 🙏