The Three Sillies (Remastered)

Relax with this very silly Old English folk tale, which has quite a lot of repetition, so it may lull you to sleep! A gentleman sets out on his travels to find three people sillier than his fiancee and her parents. With gentle piano sounds from PianoAmor.

Transcript

My name's Mandy. I'm really pleased that you've decided to join me to hear tonight's reading. It's a really ancient English folktale called The Three Sillies. A story that's been passed down from generation to generation for centuries. So go ahead and make yourself really comfortable and we'll begin. Once upon a time there was a farmer and his wife who had one daughter and she was courted by a gentleman. Every evening he used to come and see her and stop to supper at the farmhouse. And the daughter used to be sent down into the cellar to draw the beer for supper. So one evening she'd gone down to draw the beer and she happened to look up at the ceiling while she was drawing and she saw a mallet stuck in one of the beams. It must have been there a long, Long time but somehow or other she had never noticed it before and she began a thinking and she thought it was very dangerous to have that mallet there. For she said to herself, Suppose him and me was to be married and we was to have a son and he was to grow up to be a man and come down into the cellar to draw the beer like as I'm doing now and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him. What a dreadful thing it would be. And she put down the candle and the jug and sat herself down and began a crying. Well they began to wander upstairs and her mother went down to see after her and she found her sitting on the settle crying and the beer running over the floor. Why? Whatever is the matter? Said her mother. Oh mother, Says she, Look at that horrid mallet. Suppose we was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down to the cellar to draw the beer and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him. What a dreadful thing it would be. Dear, Dear, What a dreadful thing it would be said the mother and she sat herself down next to the daughter and started a crying too. After a bit the father began to wonder that they didn't come back and he went down into the cellar to look after them himself and there they were, Both of them sat a crying and the beer running all over the floor. Whatever is the matter? Says he. Why? Says the mother, Look at that horrid mallet. Just suppose if our daughter and her sweetheart was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him. What a dreadful thing it would be. Dear, Dear, Dear. So it would said the father and he sat himself down aside of the other two and started a crying. Now the gentleman got tired of stopping up in the kitchen all by himself and at last he went down into the cellar too to see what they were after and there they were, All three a crying side by side and the beer running all over the floor and he ran straight and turned the tap off. Then he said, Whatever are you three doing? Sitting there crying and letting the beer run all over the floor. Oh! Says the father, Look at that horrid mallet. Suppose you and our daughter was to be married and was to have a son and he was to grow up and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him. And then they all started a crying worse than before. But the gentleman, He burst out a laughing and reached up and pulled out the mallet and said, I've travelled many miles and I never met three such big sillies as you three before and now I shall start out on my travels again and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three, Then I'll come back and marry a daughter. So he wished them goodbye and started off on his travels and left them all crying because the girl had lost her sweetheart. Well, He set out and he travelled a long way and at last he came to a woman's cottage that had some grass growing on the roof and the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder to the grass and the poor thing durst not go. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing. Why looky, She said, Look at all that beautiful grass. I'm going to get the cow onto the roof to eat it. She'll be quite safe for I shall tie a string around her neck and tie it to my wrist as I go about the house so she can't fall off without my knowing it. Oh, You poor silly, Said the gentleman. You should cut the grass and throw it down to the cow. But the woman thought it was easier to get the cow up the ladder than to get the grass down. So she pushed her and coaxed her and got her up and tied a string around and passed it down the chimney and fastened it to her own wrist. And the gentleman went on his way. But he hadn't gone far when the cow tumbled off the roof and hung by the string tied round her neck and the weight of the cow tied to the woman's wrist pulled the woman up the chimney and she stepped fast halfway and was smothered in soot. Well, That was one big silly. But the gentleman went on and on and he went to an inn to stop the night and they were so full at the inn that they had to put him in a double-bedded room and another traveller was to sleep in the other bed. The other man was a very pleasant fellow but in the morning when they were both getting up the gentleman was surprised to see the other hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers and run across the room and try to jump into them. And he tried over and over again and couldn't manage it. And the gentleman wondered whatever he was doing it for. At last he wiped his face with his handkerchief. Oh dear, He says, I do think trousers are the most awkwardest kind of clothes that ever were. I can't think who could have invented such things. It takes me the best part of an hour to get into mine every morning. And I get so hot. How do you manage yours? So the gentleman burst out laughing and showed him how to put them on and he was very much obliged to him and said he never should have thought of doing it that way. So that was another big silly. Then the gentleman went on his travels again and he came to a village and outside the village there was a pond and round the pond was a crowd of people and they had got rakes and brooms and pitchforks and were reaching into the pond. And the gentleman asked what was the matter? Why, They say, Matter enough moon's tumbled into the pond and we can't rake her out anyhow. So the gentleman burst out a laughing and told them to look up into the sky and that it was only the shadow in the water. But they wouldn't listen to him. They abused him shamefully and he got away as quick as he could. So there was a whole lot bigger than them three sillies at home. So the gentleman turned back home again and married the farmer's daughter and if they didn't live happily forever after that, That's nothing to do with you or me.

Reviews

Sweet little tale. Never heard it before. Thank Mandy.
You’re book was the best. Pickled onions and grapes too for MS dog though! Were you just testing our attention? 😬🙏🏼❤️