Hello there,
It's Mandy here.
Thanks for joining me this evening and welcome back to Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.
M.
Dellafield.
In this book the women characters tend to be more clearly defined than the men,
But perhaps the best-drawn character and the most endearing one is our heroine.
For although the whole diary is a gentle joke about her family and neighbours,
First and foremost E.
M.
Dellafield was taking the Mickey out of herself.
Time and time again we see her worsted outwardly by events or by more forceful individuals but triumphing inwardly because she always sees the ridiculous side.
And we've reached chapter 8,
So before I go ahead please feel free to make yourself really comfortable.
Settle down into your chair or your bed,
Relax your hands,
Soften your shoulders and release your jaw.
That's great and if you're ready then I shall begin.
January the 7th.
Rose takes me to literary club dinner.
I wear my blue.
I'm much struck by various young men who have defiantly put on flannel shirts and no ties and brush their hair up on end.
They are mostly accompanied by red-headed young women who wear printed crepe frocks and beads.
Otherwise everyone is in evening dress.
I'm introduced to distinguished editor who turns out to be female and delightful.
Should like to ask her once and for all why prizes in her papers weekly competition are so often divided but feel this would be unsuitable and put Rose to shame.
I'm placed at dinner next to celebrated bestseller who tells me in the kindest way how to evade paying supertax.
I'm easily able to conceal from him the fact that I'm not at present in a position to require this information.
Very distinguished artist sits opposite and becomes more and more convivial as evening advances.
This encourages me to remind him that we have met before,
Which we have in old Hampstead days.
He declares enthusiastically that he remembers me perfectly,
Which we both know to be entirely untrue and adds wildly that he has followed my work ever since.
Feel it better to let this pass unchallenged.
Later on distinguished artist is found to have come out without any money and all in his immediate neighborhood are required to lend him amount demanded by head waiter.
Feel distinctly thankful that Robert is not with me and am moreover morally certain that distinguished artist will remember nothing whatever in the morning and will therefore be unable to refund my three and sixpence.
Rose handsomely pays for my dinner as well as her own.
This suggests,
Memo,
That English cooking,
Never unduly attractive,
Becomes positively nauseating on any public occasion,
Such as a banquet.
I'm seriously distressed at probable reactions of foreign visitors to this evening's fish,
Let alone other items.
Young gentleman is introduced to me by Rose.
She's saying in rapid murmur that he is part author of a one-act play that has been acted three times by a repertory company in Yugoslavia.
It turns out later that he has met Lady Box,
Who struck him,
He adds immediately,
As a poisonous woman.
We then get on well together.
Query,
Is not a common hate one of the strongest links in human nature.
Answer,
Most regrettably,
In the affirmative.
Very,
Very distinguished novelist approaches me,
Having evidently mistaken me for someone else,
And talks amiably.
She says that she can only write between 12 at night and 4 in the morning,
And not always then.
When she cannot write,
She plays the organ.
Should much like to ask whether she is married,
But get no opportunity of asking that or anything else.
She tells me about her sales.
She tells me about her last book.
She tells me about her new one.
She says that there are many people here to whom she must speak,
And pursues well-known poet,
Who does not,
However,
Allow her to catch up with him.
Can understand this.
Speeches are made.
I'm struck,
As so often,
By the eloquence and profundity of other people,
And reflect how sorry I should be to have to make a speech myself,
Although so often kept awake at night,
Composing wholly admirable addresses to the servants,
Lady B,
Mademoiselle,
And others,
Which,
However,
Never get delivered.
Move about after dinner,
And meet acquaintance whose name I have forgotten,
But connect with literature.
I ask if he has published anything lately.
He says that his work is not,
And never can be,
For publication.
Thought passes through my mind to the effect that this attitude might with advantage be adopted by many others.
Do not say so,
However,
And we talk instead about Rebecca West,
The progress of aviation,
And the case for and against stag hunting.
Rose,
Who has been discussing psychiatry as practiced in the USA with Danish journalists,
Says am I ready to go?
Distinguished artist who sat opposite me at dinner offers to drive us both home,
But his friends intervene.
Moreover,
Acquaintance whose name I have forgotten,
Takes me aside and assures me that D.
A.
Is quite unfit to take anybody home,
And will himself require an escort.
Rose and I depart by nearest tube as being wiser,
If less exalted,
Procedure.
Sit up till one o'clock,
Discussing our fellow creatures,
With special reference to those seen and heard this evening.
Rose says I ought to come to London more often,
And suggests that outlook requires broadening.
January the 9th.
Came home yesterday.
Robin and Mademoiselle no longer on speaking terms,
Owing to involved affair centering around a broken window pane.
Vicky startlingly tells me in private that she has learned a new bad word,
But does not mean to use it.
Not now anyway,
She disquietingly adds.
Cook says she hopes I enjoyed my holiday,
And it is very quiet in the country.
I leave the kitchen before she has time to say more,
But am only too well aware that this is not the last of it.
Write grateful letter to Rose,
At the same time explaining difficulty of broadening my outlook by further time spent away from home,
Just at present.
January the 14th.
I have occasion to observe,
Not for the first time,
How extraordinarily plain a cold can make one look,
Affecting hair,
Complexion,
And features generally,
Besides nose and upper lip.
Cook assures me that colds always run through the house,
And that she herself has been suffering from sore throat for weeks,
But is never one to make a fuss.
Query,
Is this meant to imply that similar fortitude should be,
But is not,
Displayed by me?
Mademoiselle says she hopes children will not catch my cold,
But that both sneezed this morning.
I run short of handkerchiefs.
January the 16th.
We all run short of handkerchiefs.
To be continued.
