Hello there,
It's Mandy here.
Thanks for joining me tonight and welcome back to Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.
M.
Delafield.
Many of E.
M.
Delafield's literary papers are deposited in the library of the University of British Columbia.
Her daughter,
Rosamund Dashwood,
Wrote a diary of her own called Provincial Daughter,
Which adopts a similar style to describe her life as a housewife in the 1950s.
That has been republished by Virago.
Up till about 20 years ago,
Rosamund and her children were living in Vancouver,
British Columbia.
We've reached chapter 24 and before we go ahead,
Please feel free to make yourself really comfortable.
Settle down into your chair or your bed,
Relax your hands,
Soften your shoulders and release any tension in your jaw.
That's great,
So if you're ready then I shall begin.
June the 23rd.
Tennis party at wealthy and elaborate house to which Robert and I now bidden for the first time.
Also probably the last.
Immense opulence of host and hostess at once discernible in fabulous display of deck chairs,
All of complete stability and miraculous cleanliness.
I'm introduced to youngish lady in yellow and serious young man with horn-rimmed spectacles.
Lady in yellow says at once that she's sure I have a lovely garden.
Why?
Elderly but efficient looking partner is assigned to me and we play against the horn-rimmed spectacles and agile young creature in expensive crepe de chine.
Realize at once that all three play very much better tennis than I do.
Still worse,
Realize that they realize this.
Just as we begin my partner observes gravely that he ought to tell me he is a left-handed player.
Cannot imagine what he expects me to do about it.
Lose my head and reply madly that is splendid.
Game proceeds.
I serve several double faults and elderly partner becomes graver and graver.
At beginning of each game he looks at me and repeats the score with fearful distinctness which,
As it is never in our favor,
Entirely on nerves me.
At six one we leave the court and silently seek chairs as far removed from one another as possible.
Find myself in vicinity of our member and we talk about the mace,
Peeresses in the house of lords on which we differ,
Winter sports and Alsatian dogs.
Robert plays tennis and does well.
Later on I'm again bidden to the court and to my unspeakable horror told to play once more with elderly and deficient partner.
I apologize to him for this misfortune and he inquires in return with extreme pessimism.
Fifty years from now what will it matter if we have lost this game?
Neighboring lady,
Probably his wife,
Looks agitated at this and supplements it by incoherent assurances about its being a great pleasure in any case.
I'm well aware that she is lying but intention evidently very kind for which I feel grateful.
Play worse than ever and I'm not unprepared for subsequent inquiry from hostess as to whether I think I have really quite got over the measles as she has heard that it often takes a full year.
I reply humorously that so far as tennis goes it will take far more than a full year.
Perceive by expression of civil perplexity on face of hostess that she has entirely failed to grasp this rather subtle witticism and wishes I hadn't made it.
I'm still thinking about this failure when I notice that conversation has mysteriously switched on to the United States of America about which we are all very emphatic.
Americans we say undoubtedly hospitable but what about the war debt?
What about prohibition?
What about Sinclair Lewis,
Amy McPherson and co-education?
By the time we have done with them it transpires that none of us have ever been to America but all hold definite views which fortunately coincide with the views of everyone else.
Query could not interesting little experiment be tried by possessor of unusual amount of moral courage in the shape of suddenly producing perfectly brand new opinion.
For example to the effect that Americans have better manners than we have or that their divorce laws are a great improvement upon our own.
Should much like to see effect of these or similar psychological bombs but should definitely wish Robert to be absent from the scene.
Announcement of tea breaks off these intelligent speculations.
I'm struck as usual by infinite superiority of other people's food to my own.
Conversation turns upon Lady B.
Everyone says she is really very kind-hearted and follows this up by anecdotes illustrating all her less attractive qualities.
Youngish lady in yellow declares that she met Lady B last week in London face three inches thick in new sunburned tan.
Can quite believe it.
Feel much more at home after this and conscious of new bond of union cementing entire party.
Side light thus thrown upon human nature regrettable but not to be denied.
Even my tennis improves after this entirely owing to my having told funny story relating to Lady B's singular behavior in regard to local jumble sale which meets with success.
Serve fewer double faults but still cannot quite escape conviction that whoever plays with me invariably loses the set which I cannot believe to be mere coincidence.
Suggest to Robert on the way home that I had better give up tennis altogether to which after long silence during which I hope he is perhaps evolving short speech that shall be at once complimentary and yet convincing.
He replies that he doesn't know what I could take up instead as I do not know either.
The subject is dropped and we return home in silence.
June the 27th.
Cook says that unless I am willing to let her have the sweep she cannot possibly be responsible for the stove.
I say of course she can have the sweep if not Cook returns totally disregarding my offer she really can't say what won't happen.
I reiterate my complete readiness to send the sweep as someone's on the instant and Cook continues to look away from me and to repeat that unless I will agree to having the sweep in there's no knowing.
This dialogue cannot say why upsets me for the remainder of the day.
June 30th.
The sweep comes and devastates the entire day.
Bath water and meals are alike cold and soot appears quite irrelevantly in portions of the house totally removed from sphere of sweeps activities.
I'm called upon in the middle of the day to produce 12 and sixpence in cash which I cannot do.
Appeal to everybody in the house and find that nobody else can either.
Finally Cook announces that the joint has just come and can oblige at the back door if I don't mind it's going down in the book.
I do not and the sweep is accordingly paid and disappears on a motor bicycle.
July the 3rd.
Breakfast enlivened by letter from dear Rose written at apparently earthly paradise of blue sea and red rocks on south coast of France.
She says she is having complete rest and enjoying congenial society of charming group of friends and makes unprecedented suggestion that I should join her for a fortnight.
I am moved to exclaim perhaps rather thoughtlessly that the most wonderful thing in the world must be to be a childless widow but this is met by unsympathetic silence from Robert which recalls me to myself and impels me to say that that isn't in the least what I meant.
Memo should often be very very sorry to explain exactly what it is that I do mean and I'm in fact conscious of deliberately avoiding self-analysis on many occasions.
Do not propose however to go into this now or at any other time.
I tell Robert that if it wasn't for the expense and not having any clothes and the servants and leaving Vicky I should think seriously of Rose's suggestion.
Why I inquire rhetorically should Lady B have a monopoly of the south of France?
Robert replies well and pauses for such a long while that I get agitated and have mentally gone through the divorce court with him before he ends up by saying well again and picking up the western morning news.
Feel but do not say that this as contribution to discussion is inadequate.
I'm prepared however to continue it single-handed sooner than allow subject to drop altogether.
Do so but I'm interrupted first by entrance of through the window.
Robert says damn that cat I shall have it drowned but only absent-mindedly and then by spirit lamp which is discovered to be extinct and to require a new wick.
Robert strongly in favour of ringing immediately but I discourage this and undertake to speak about it instead and tie knot in pocket handkerchief.
Unfortunately overcharged memory fails later when in kitchen and find myself unable to recollect whether marmalade has run to sugar through remaining too long in the jar or merely porridge lumpier than usual but this is a digression.
I read Rose's letter all over again and feel that I have here an opportunity of a lifetime.
Suddenly hear myself exclaiming passionately that travel broadens the mind and I'm immediately reminded of our vicar's wife who frequently makes similar remark before taking our vicar to spend fortnight's holiday in North Wales.
Robert finally says well again this time tone of voice slightly more lenient and then asks if it is quite impossible for his bottle of e-nose to be left undisturbed on the bathroom shelf.
I at once and severely condemn mademoiselle as undoubted culprit though guiltily aware that original suggestion probably emanated from myself and what I add about the south of France.
Robert looks astounded and soon afterwards leaves the dining room without having spoken.
I deal with my correspondence omitting Rose's letter.
Remainder boils down to rather uninspiring collection of accounts rendered,
Offensive little pamphlet that makes searching inquiry into the state of my gums,
Postcard from county secretary of women's institutes with notice of meeting that I'm expected to attend and warmly worded personal communication addressed me by name from unknown titled gentleman which ends up with a request for five shillings if I cannot spare more in aid of charity in which he is interested.
Whole question of south of France is shelved until evening when I seek mademoiselle in the school room after Vicky has gone to bed.
I'm horrified to see that supper awaiting her on the table consists of cheese,
Pickles and slice of jam roly-poly grouped on a single plate.
Would not this suggest to the artistic mind a still life study in modern art flanked by a colossal jug of cold water?
Is this I ask what mademoiselle likes?
She assures me that it is and adds austerely that food is of no importance to her.
She could go without anything for days and days without noticing it.
From early childhood she has always been the same.
Query unavoidably suggests itself here.
Does mademoiselle really expect me to believe her and if so what can be her opinion of my mental capacity?
We discuss Vicky.
Tendency to argumentativeness I hint.
She has a heart of gold returns mademoiselle immediately.
I agree in modified terms and mademoiselle at once points out dear Vicky's undeniable obstinacy and self-will.
I bring up the subject of the south of France.
Mademoiselle more than sympathetic assures me I must at all costs go adding a little unnecessarily that I've grown many many years older in the last few months and that to live as I do without any distractions only leads to madness in the end.
Feel that she could hardly have worded this more transiently and I'm a good deal impressed.
Query would Robert see the false of these representations or not?
Robert apt to take rather prejudiced view of all that is not purely English.
Return to drawing room and find Robert asleep behind the times.
Read Rose's letter all over again and am moved to make list of clothes that I should require if I joined her.
Estimate of expenses financial situation though not scintillating still considerably brighter than usual owing to recent legacy and even notes on back of envelope of instructions to be given to Mademoiselle,
Cook and the trades people before leaving.
