Hello there,
It's Mandy here.
Welcome back to Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.
M.
Delafield.
Thanks for joining me tonight.
As you probably know already,
E.
M.
Delafield wrote about her own life,
Very thinly disguised at times.
When she was asked how she got away with it,
Edmay replied that her friends always seemed to recognise other people in the diaries,
But never themselves.
She writes,
A good many of the characters in this novel have been drawn as usual from persons now living,
But the author hopes very much that they will only recognise one another.
So we've reached chapter 23,
And before we go ahead,
Please feel free to make yourself really comfortable and settle down into your chair or your bed.
Relax your hands,
Drop your shoulders and soften your jaw.
That's great.
So if you're ready,
Then I shall begin.
June the third.
Astounding and enchanting change in the weather,
Which becomes warm.
I carry chair,
Writing materials,
Rug and cushion into the garden,
But am called in to have a look at the pantry sink,
Please,
As it seems to have blocked itself up.
Attempted return to garden,
Frustrated by arrival of note from the village concerning garden fate arrangements,
Which requires immediate answer necessity for speaking to the butcher on the telephone and sudden realisation that laundry list hasn't yet been made out and the van will be here at 11.
When it does come,
I have to speak about the tablecloths,
Which leads,
Do not know how,
To long conversation about the derby,
The van speaking highly of an outsider,
Trues,
Whilst I uphold the chances of silver flair,
Mainly because I like the name.
Shortly after this,
Mrs S arrives from the village to collect jumble for garden fate,
Which takes time.
After lunch,
Sky clouds over and Mademoiselle and Vicky kindly help me to carry chair,
Writing materials,
Rug and cushion into the house again.
Robert receives letter by second post announcing death of his godfather,
Aged 97,
And decides to go to the funeral on the 5th of June.
Memorandum,
Curious but authenticated fact that a funeral is the only gathering to which the majority of men ever go willingly.
Should like to think out why this should be so,
But instead unearth top hat and other accoutrements of woe and try if open air will remove smell of naphthalene.
June the 7th,
Receive letter,
Why in heaven's name,
Not telegram,
From Robert to announce that godfather has left him 500 pounds.
This strikes me as so utterly incredible and magnificent that I shed tears of pure relief and satisfaction.
Mademoiselle comes in in the midst of them and on receiving explanation kisses me on both cheeks.
Can only draw conclusion that she has most touchingly been petitioning heaven on our behalf and very nearly weep again at the thought.
Spend joyful evening making out list of bills to be paid,
Jewellery to be redeemed,
Friends to be benefited and purchases to be made out of legacy and I'm only slightly disconcerting on finding that net total of lists when added together comes to exactly 1320 pounds.
June the 9th,
Return yesterday of Robert and have every reason to believe that though neither talkative nor exuberant he fully appreciates newly achieved stability of financial position.
He warmly concurs in my suggestion that great aunt's diamond ring should be retrieved from Plymouth pawnbrokers in time to figure in our next excitement which is the garden fate and I accordingly hasten to Plymouth by earliest available bus.
Not only do I return with ring,
Pawnbroker after a glance at the calendar congratulates me on being just in time but have also purchased new hat for myself,
Many yards of material for Vicky's frocks,
A Hornby train for Robin,
Several gramophone records and a small mauve bag for mademoiselle.
All give the utmost satisfaction and I furthermore arrange to have hot lobster and fruit salad for dinner.
These however not a great success with Robert unfortunately and he suggests though kindly that I was perhaps thinking more of my own tastes than of his when devising this form of celebration.
Must regretfully acknowledge truth in this,
Discussion of godfather's legacy fills the evening happily and I say that we ought to give a party and suggest combining it with garden fate.
Robert replies however and on further reflection find that I agree with him that this would not conduce to the success of either entertainment and scheme is abandoned.
He also begs me to get garden fate over before I begin to think of anything else and I agree to do so.
June the 12th,
Nothing is spoken of but weather,
At the moment propitious but who can say whether similar conditions will prevail on the 17th.
Relative merits of having the tea laid under the oak trees or near the tennis court,
Outside price that can be reasonably asked for articles on jumble stall,
Desirability of having ice cream combined with lemonade stall and the like.
Date fortunately coincides with Robin's half term and I feel he must and shall come home for the occasion.
Expense as I point out to Robert,
Now nothing to us.
He yields.
I become reckless,
Have thoughts of a house party and invite Rose to come down from London.
She accepts.
Dear old school friend Sissy Crabb by strange coincidence writes that she will be on her way to Land's End on 16th of June.
May she stay for two nights?
Yes she may.
Robert does not seem pleased when I explain that he will have to vacate his dressing room for Sissy Crabb as Rose will be occupying spare bedroom and Robin is at home.
This will complete house party.
June the 17th.
Entire household rises practically at dawn in order to take part in active preparations for garden fate.
Mademoiselle reported to have refused breakfast in order to put final stitches in embroidered pink satin boot bag for fancy stall which she has to my certain knowledge been working at for the past six weeks.
At 10 o'clock our vicar's wife dashes in to ask what I think of the weather and to say that she cannot stop a moment.
At 11 she is still here and has been joined by several stall holders and tiresome local couple called White who want to know if there will be a tennis tournament and if not is there still time to organise one.
I reply curtly in the negative to both suggestions and they depart looking huffed.
Our vicar's wife says this may have lost us their patronage at the fate altogether and that Mrs White's mother who is staying with them is said to be rich and might easily have been worth a couple of pounds to us.
Diversion fortunately occasioned by unexpected arrival of solid and respectable looking claret coloured motor car from which Barbara and Crosby Carothers emerge.
Barbara is excited,
Cece remains calm but looks benevolent.
Our vicar's wife screams and throws a pair of scissors wildly into the air.
They are eventually found in bran tub containing tuppany dips and are the cause of much trouble as small child who fishes them out maintains them to be bona fide dip and refuses to give them up.
Barbara looks blooming and says how wonderful it is to see the dear old place quite unchanged.
Cannot wholeheartedly agree with this as it is not three months since she was last here but fortunately she requires no answer and says that she and Cece are looking up old friends and will return for the opening of the fate this afternoon.
Robert goes to meet old school friend Sissy Crabb at station and Rose and I to help price garments at jumble store find that my views are not always similar to those of other members of the committee.
Why for instance only three and sixpence for grey georgette only sacrificed reluctantly at 11th hour from my wardrobe.
Arrival of Sissy Crabb wearing curious wool hat which I at once feel would look better on jumble store is followed by cold lunch.
Have made special point of remembering nuts and banana sandwiches for Sissy but have difficulty in preventing Robin and Vicky to whom I have omitted to give explanation making it obvious that they would prefer this diet to cold lamb and salad.
Just as tinned pineapple and junket stage has passed Robin informs me that there are people beginning to arrive and we all disperse in desperate haste and excitement to reappear in best clothes.
I wear red foulard and new red hat but find as usual that every petticoat I have in the world is either rather too long or much too short.
Mademoiselle comes to the rescue and puts safety pins in shoulder straps one of which becomes unfastened later and causes me great suffering.
Rose also as usual looks nicer than anybody else in delightful green delane.
Sissy Crabb also has reasonably attractive dress but detracts from effect with numerous scarab rings,
Cameo brooches,
Tulle scarves,
Enamel buckles and barbaric necklaces.
Moreover she clings I think mistakenly to little wool hat which looks odd.
Robin and Vicky both present enchanting appearances although Mary's three little callaways all alike in pale rose to sore undeniably decorative.
Natural wave in hair of all three which seems to me unjust but nothing can be done until Vicky reaches age suitable for permanent waving.
Lady Frobisher arrives 10 minutes too early to open fate and is walked about by Robert until our vicar says well he thinks perhaps that we are now all gathered together.
Have profane impulse to add in the sight of God but naturally stifle it.
Lady F is poised gratefully on little bank under chestnut tree,
Our vicar beside her,
Robert and myself modestly retiring a few paces behind.
Our vicar's wife kindly but mistakenly trying to induce various unsuitable people to mount bank which she humorously refers to as the platform when all is thrown into confusion by sensational arrival of colossal Bentley containing Lady B in sapphire blue and pearls with escort of fashionable creatures male and female apparently dressed for ascot.
Go on go on says Lady B waving hand in white kid glove and dropping small jewel bag lace parasol and embroidered handkerchief as she does so.
Great confusion while these articles are picked up and restored but at last we do go on and Lady F says what a pleasure it is to her to be here today what a desirable asset a village hall is and much else to the same effect.
Our vicar thanks her for coming here today so many claims upon her time.
Robert seconds him with almost incredible brevity someone else thanks Robert and myself for throwing open these magnificent grounds tennis court three flower borders and microscopic shrubbery.
I look at Robert who shakes his head thus obliging me to make necessary reply myself and our vicar's wife with undeniable presence of mind darts forward and reminds Lady F that she has forgotten to declare the fate open this is at once done and we disperse to stalls and side shows I'm stopped by Lady B who asks reproachfully didn't I know that she would have been perfectly ready to open the fate herself if I had asked her another time she says I am not to hesitate for a moment she then spends nine pence on a lavender bag and drives off again with expensive looking friends this behavior provides topic of excited conversation for us all throughout the whole of the afternoon everyone else buys nobly unsuitable articles are raffled raffling illegal winner to pay sixpence guesses are made as to contents of sealed boxes number of currents in large cake weight of bilious looking ham and so on band arrives is established on lawn and plays selections from the geisha mademoiselle's boot bag bought by elegant purchaser in grey flannels who turns out on closer inspection to be howard fitzsimmons just as I recover from this robin in wild excitement informs me that he has won a goat in a raffle goat has fearful local reputation and is of immense age and savageness have no time to do more than say how nice that is and he had better run and tell daddy before old mrs b barbara cc and cousin maude all turn up together can baby austin possibly have accommodated them all old mrs b rather less subdued than at our last meeting and goes so far as to say that she has very little money to spend but that she always thinks a smile and a kind word are better than gold with which i inwardly disagree i'm definitely glad to perceive that cc has taken up cast iron attitude of unfriendliness towards cousin maude and contradicts her whenever she speaks sports tea and dancing on the tennis lawn all successful except possibly from point of view of future tennis parties and even robin and vicky do not dream of eating final ice cream cornets and retiring to bed until 10 o'clock robert rose sissy crab helen wills and myself all sit in the drawing room in pleasant state of exhaustion and congratulate ourselves and one another robert has information no doubt reliable but source remains mysterious to the effect that we have cleared three figures all for the moment is rose colored to be continued
