Hello,
It's Mandy here.
Welcome back to Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell.
A little snippet about Elizabeth Gaskell.
As I may have mentioned before,
Charles Dickens was Elizabeth's publisher and editor,
And although they did share many artistic concerns,
She had a difficult working relationship with him,
Mainly because he often wanted to alter what she wrote.
So we've reached chapter 14,
Friends in Need,
And before I go ahead,
Please make sure and make yourself really comfortable settling down into your chair or your bed,
Relaxing your hands,
Softening your shoulders,
And just loosening your jaw.
That's great.
So if you're ready,
Then I shall begin.
Friends in Need.
It was an example to me,
And I fancy it might be to many others,
To see how immediately Miss Matty set about the retrenchment which she knew to be right under her altered circumstances.
While she went down to speak to Martha and break the intelligence to her,
I stole out with my letter to the Argo Jenkins and went to the Signior's lodgings to obtain the exact address.
I bound the Signior to secrecy,
And indeed her military manners had a degree of shortness and reserve in them,
Which made her always say as little as possible,
Except when under the pressure of strong excitement.
Moreover,
Which made my secret doubly sure,
The Signior was now so far recovered as to be looking forward to travelling and conjuring again in the space of a few days when he,
His wife,
And little Phoebe would leave Cranford.
Indeed,
I found him looking over a great black and red placard in which the Signior Brunoni's accomplishments were set forth and to which only the name of the town where he would next display them was wanting.
He and his wife were so much absorbed in deciding where the red letters would come in with most effect,
It might have been the rubric for that matter,
That it was some time before I could get my question asked privately,
And not before I'd given several decisions,
The which I questioned afterwards with equal wisdom of sincerity as soon as the Signior threw in his doubts and reasons on the important subject.
At last I got the address,
Spelt by sound,
And very strange it looked.
I dropped it in the post on my way home and then for a minute stood looking at the wooden pane with a gaping slit which divided me from the letter but a moment ago in my hand.
It was gone from me,
Like life,
Never to be recalled.
It would get tossed about on the sea,
Stained with sea waves perhaps,
And be carried among palm trees and scented with all tropical fragrance.
The little piece of paper but an hour ago so familiar and commonplace had sat out on its race to the strange wild countries beyond the Ganges.
But I could not afford to lose much time on this speculation.
I hastened home that Miss Mattie might not miss me.
Martha opened the door to me,
Her face swollen with crying.
As soon as she saw me,
She burst out afresh,
And taking hold of my arm,
She pulled me in and banged the door too,
In order to ask me if indeed it was all true that Miss Mattie had been saying.
I'll never leave her.
No,
I won't.
I told her so and said I could not think how she could find in her heart to give me warning.
I could not have had the faith to do it if I'd been her.
I might have been just as good for nothing as Miss Fitzadams Rosie,
Who struck for wages after living seven years and a half in one place.
I said I was not one to go and serve mammon at that rate,
That I knew when I'd got a good missus if she didn't know when she got a good servant.
But Martha,
Said I,
Cutting in while she wiped her eyes,
Listened to reason.
I'll not listen to reason,
She said,
Now in full possession of her voice,
Which had been rather choked with sobbing.
Reason always means what someone else has got to say.
Now I think what I've got to say is good enough reason,
But reason or not I'll say it and I'll stick to it.
I have money in the savings bank and have a good stock of clothes and I'm not going to leave Miss Mattie.
No,
Not as she gives me warning every hour in the day.
She put her arms akimbo,
As much as to say she defied me and indeed I could hardly tell how to begin to remonstrate with her,
So much did I feel that Miss Mattie,
In her increasing infirmity,
Needed the attendance of this kind and faithful woman.
Well,
Said I at last,
I'm thankful you begin with well.
If you'd have begun with but,
As you did afore,
I've not to listen to you,
But you may go on.
I know you would be a great loss to Miss Mattie,
Martha.
I told her so,
A loss she'd never cease to be sorry for,
Broke in Martha triumphantly.
Still,
She will have so little,
So very little,
To live upon,
That I don't see just now how she could find you food.
She will even be pressed for her own.
I tell you this,
Martha,
Because I feel you're like a friend to dear Miss Mattie,
But you know she might not like to have it spoken about.
Apparently this was even a blacker view of the subject than Miss Mattie had presented to her,
For Martha just sat down on the first chair that came to hand and cried out loud,
We had been standing in the kitchen.
At last she put her apron down and,
Looking me earnestly in the face,
Asked,
Was that the reason Miss Mattie wouldn't order a pudding today?
She said she had no great fancy for sweet things,
And you and she would just have a mutton chop.
But I'll be up to her,
Never you tell,
But I'll make her a pudding,
And a pudding she'll like too,
And I'll pay for it myself,
So mind you see that she eats it.
Many a one has been comforted in their sorrow by seeing a good dish come upon the table.
I was rather glad that Martha's energy had taken the immediate and practical direction of pudding making,
For it staved off the quarrelsome discussion as to whether she should or should not leave Miss Mattie's service.
She began to tie on a clean apron and otherwise prepare herself for going to the shop for the butter,
Eggs and what else she might require.
She would not use a scrap of the articles already in the house for her cookery,
But went to an old teapot in which her private store of money was deposited and took out what she wanted.
I found Miss Mattie very quiet and not a little sad,
But by and by she tried to smile for my sake.
It was settled that I was to write to my father and ask him to come over and hold a consultation,
And as soon as this letter was dispatched we began to talk over future plans.
Miss Mattie's idea was to take a single room and retain as much of her furniture as would be necessary to fit this up and sell the rest and there to quietly exist upon what would remain after paying the rent.
For my part I was more ambitious and less contented.
I thought of all the things which a woman past middle age and with the education common to ladies 50 years ago could earn or add to a living without materially losing caste,
But at length I put even this last clause on one side and wondered what in the world Miss Mattie could do.
Teaching was of course the first thing that suggested itself.
If Miss Mattie could teach children anything it would throw her among the little elves in whom her soul delighted.
I ran over her accomplishments.
Once upon a time I had heard her say that she could play,
Ah vous direz-je maman,
On the piano,
But that was long ago.
That faint shadow of musical acquirement had died out years before.
She had also once been able to trace out patterns very nicely for muslin embroidery by dint of placing a piece of silver paper over the design to be copied and holding both against the window pane while she marked the scallop and eyelid holes,
But that was her nearest approach to the accomplishment of drawing and I didn't think it would go very far.
Then again as to the branches of a solid English education,
Fancy work and the use of the globes such as the mistress of the ladies seminary to which all the trades people in Cranford sent their daughters professed to teach,
Miss Mattie's eyes were failing her and I doubted if she could discover the number of threads in a worsted work pattern or rightly appreciate the different shades required for Queen Adelaide's face in the loyal wool work now fashionable in Cranford.
As for the use of the globes,
I had never been able to find it out myself,
So perhaps I was not a good judge of Miss Mattie's capability of instructing in this branch of education,
But it struck me that equators and tropics and such mystical circles were very imaginary lines indeed to her and that she looked upon the signs of the zodiac as so many remnants of the black art.
What she piqued herself upon as arts in which she excelled was making candle lighters or spills as she preferred calling them of coloured paper cut so as to resemble feathers and knitting garters in a variety of dainty stitches.
I had once said on receiving a present of an elaborate pair that I should feel quite tempted to drop one of them in the street in order to have it admired,
But I found this little joke,
And it was a very little one,
Was such a distress to her sense of propriety and was taken with such anxious earnest alarm,
Lest the temptation might someday prove too strong for me,
That I quite regretted having ventured upon it.
A present of these delicately wrought garters,
A bunch of gay spills or a set of cards on which sewing silk was wound in a mystical manner were the well-known tokens of Miss Mattie's favour,
But would anyone pay to have their children taught these arts or indeed would Miss Mattie sell for filthy lucre,
The knack and the skill with which she made trifles of value to those who loved her?
I had to come down to reading,
Writing and arithmetic,
And in reading the chapter every morning she always coughed before coming to long words.
I doubted her power of getting through a genealogical chapter with any number of coughs.
Writing she did well and delicately,
But spelling she seemed to think that the more out of the way this was and the more trouble it cost her,
The greater the compliment she paid to her correspondent,
And words that she would spell quite correctly in her letters to me became perfect enigmas when she wrote to my father.
No,
There was nothing she could teach to the rising generation of Cranford unless they had been quick learners and ready imitators of her patience,
Her humility,
Her sweetness,
Her quiet contentment with all that she could not do.
I pondered and pondered until dinner was announced by Martha with a face all blubbered and swollen with crying.
Miss Mattie had a few little peculiarities which Martha was apt to regard as whims below her attention and appeared to consider as childish fancies of which an old lady of 58 should try and cure herself,
But today everything was tended to with the most careful regard.
The bread was cut to the imaginary pattern of excellence that existed in Miss Mattie's mind as being the way her mother had preferred.
The curtain was drawn so as to exclude the dead brick wall of a neighbour's stable and yet left so as to show every tender leaf of the poplar which was bursting into spring beauty.
Martha's tone to Miss Mattie was just such as that good rough-spoken servant usually kept sacred for little children and which I had never heard her use to any grown-up person.
I had forgotten to tell Miss Mattie about the pudding and I was afraid she might not do justice to it for she had evidently very little appetite this day so I seized the opportunity of letting her into the secret while Martha took away the meat.
Miss Mattie's eyes filled with tears and she couldn't speak either to express surprise or delight when Martha returned bearing it aloft made in the most wonderful representation of a lion cushion that ever was moulded.
Martha's face gleamed with triumph as she set it down before Miss Mattie with an exultant there.
Miss Mattie wanted to speak her thanks but could not so she took Martha's hand and shook it warmly which set Martha off crying and I myself could hardly keep up the necessary composure.
Martha burst out of the room and Miss Mattie had to clear her voice once or twice before she could speak.
At last she said I should like to keep this pudding under a glass shade my dear and the notion of the lion cushion with his current eyes being hoisted up to the place of honour on a mantelpiece tickled my hysterical fancy and I began to laugh which rather surprised Miss Mattie.
I am sure dear I have seen uglier things under a glass shade before now said she.
So had I many a time and oft and I accordingly composed my countenance and now I could hardly keep from crying and we both fell to upon the pudding which was indeed excellent only every morsel seemed to choke us our hearts were so full.
We had too much to think about to talk much that afternoon it passed over very tranquilly but when the tea urn was brought in a new thought came into my head why should not Miss Mattie sell tea be an agent to the East India Tea Company which then existed.
I could see no objections to this plan while the advantages were many always supposing that Miss Mattie could get over the degradation of condescending to anything like trade.
Tea was neither greasy nor sticky.
Grease and stickiness being two of the qualities which Miss Mattie could not endure.
No shop window would be required.
A small genteel notification of her being licensed to sell tea would it is true be necessary but I hoped it could be placed where no one would see it.
Neither was tea a heavy article so as to tax Miss Mattie's fragile strength.
The only thing against my plan was the buying and selling.
While I was giving but absent answers to the questions Miss Mattie was putting almost as absently we heard a clumping sound on the stairs and a whispering outside the door which indeed once opened and shut as if by some invisible agency.
After a little while Martha came in dragging after her great tall young man all crimson with shyness and finding his only relief in perpetually sleeking down his hair.
Please ma'am he's only Jem Hearn said Martha by way of an introduction and so out of breath was she that I imagined she had had some bodily struggle before she could overcome his reluctance to be presented on the courtly scene of Miss Matilda Jenkins drawing room.
And please ma'am he wants to marry me off hand and please ma'am we want to take a lodger just one quiet lodger to make our two ends meet and we take any house conformable and oh dear Miss Mattie if I may be so bold would you have any objections to lodging with us Jem wants it as much as I do to Jem you're great oaf why can't you back me but he does want it all the same very bad don't you Jem only you see he's dazed at being called on to speak before quality.
It's not that broken Jem it's that you've taken me all on a sudden and I didn't think for to get married so soon and such quick words does flabbergast a man it's not that I'm against it mum addressing Miss Mattie only Martha has such quick ways with her when once she takes the thing into her head and marriage mum marriage nails a man as one may say I dare say I shan't mind it after once it's over please mum said Martha who had plucked at his sleeve and nudged him with her elbow and otherwise tried to interrupt him all the time he'd been speaking don't mind him he'll come to it was only last night he was axing me and axing me and all the more because I said I could not think of it for years to come and now he's only taken aback with the suddenness of the joy but you know Jem you are just as full as me about wanting a lodger another great nudge I if Miss Mattie would lodge with us otherwise I've no mind to be cumbered with strange folk in the house said Jem with a want of tat which I could see enraged Martha who was trying to represent a lodger as the great object they wish to obtain and that in fact Miss Mattie would be smoothing their path and conferring a favour if she would only come and live with them Miss Mattie herself was bewildered by the pair there or rather Martha's sudden resolution in favour of matrimony staggered her and stood between her and the contemplation of the plan which Martha had at heart Miss Mattie began marriage is a very solemn thing Martha it is indeed ma'am quoth Jem not that I've no objections to Martha you've never let me a bee for asking me to fix when I would be married said Martha her face all afire and ready to cry with vexation and now you're shaming me before my missus and all nay now Martha don't he don't he only a man likes to have breathing time said Jem trying to possess himself of her hand but in vain then seeing that she was more seriously hurt than he had imagined he seemed to try and rally his scattered faculties and with more straightforward dignity than 10 minutes before I should have thought it possible for him to assume he turned to Miss Mattie and said I hope ma'am you know that I'm bound to respect everyone who has been kind to I always looked on her as to be my wife sometime and she is often and often spoken of you as the kindest lady that ever was and though the plain truth is I would not like to be troubled with lodgers of the common run yet if ma'am you'd honour us by living with us I'm sure Martha would do her best to make you comfortable and I'd keep out of your way as much as I could which I reckon would be the best kindness such an awkward chap as me could do Miss Mattie had been very busy with taking off her spectacles wiping them and replacing them but all she could say was don't let any thought of me hurry you into marriage pray don't marriage is such a very solemn thing but Miss Matilda will think of your plan Martha said I struck with the advantages that it offered and I'm willing to lose the opportunity of considering about it and I'm sure neither she nor I can ever forget your kindness nor yours either Jem why yes ma'am I'm sure I mean kindly though I'm a bit fluttered at being pushed straight ahead into matrimony as it were and meant to express myself conformable but I'm sure I'm willing enough and give me time to get accustomed so Martha wench what's the use of crying so and slapping me if I come near this last was Sottovoce and had the effect of making Martha bounce out of the room to be followed and soothed by her lover whereupon Miss Mattie sat down and cried very heartily and accounted for it by saying that the thought of Martha being married so soon gave her quite a shock and that she should never forgive herself if she thought she was hurrying the poor creature I think my pity was more for Jem of the two but both Miss Mattie and I appreciated to the full the kindness of the honest couple though we said little about this and a good deal about the chances and dangers of matrimony the next morning very early I received a note from Miss Pole so mysteriously wrapped up and with so many seals on it to secure secrecy that I had to tear the paper before I could unfold it and when I came to the writing I could hardly understand the meaning it was so involved in oracular I made out however that I was to go to Miss Pole's at 11 o'clock the number 11 being written in full length as well as in numerals and am twice dashed under as if I were very likely to come at 11 at night when all Cranford was usually a bed and asleep by 10.
There was no signature except Miss Pole's initials reversed P.
E.
But as Martha had given me the note with Miss Pole's kind regards it needed no wizard to find out who sent it and if the writer's name was to be kept secret it was very well that I was alone when Martha delivered it I went as requested to Miss Pole's the door was opened to me by her little maid Lizzie in Sunday trim as if some grand event was impending over this workday and the drawing room upstairs was arranged in accordance with this idea the table was set out with the best green card cloth and writing materials upon it on the little chiffonnier was a tray with a newly decanted bottle of cow slip wine and some lady's finger biscuits Miss Pole herself was in solemn array as if to receive visitors although it was only 11 o'clock Mrs Forrester was there crying quietly and sadly and my arrival seemed only to call forth fresh tears before we had finished our greetings performed with lugubrious mystery of demeanour there was another rat-tat-tat and Mrs Fitzadam appeared crimson with walking and excitement it seemed as if this was all the company expected for now Miss Pole made several demonstrations of being about to open the business of the meeting by stirring the fire opening and shutting the door and coughing and blowing her nose then she arranged us all around the table taking care to place me opposite her and last of all she inquired of me if the sad report was true as she feared it was that Miss Matty had lost all her fortune of course I had but one answer to make and I never saw more unaffected sorrow depicted on any countenances than I did there on the three before me I wish Mrs Jamieson was here said Mrs Forrester at last but to judge from Mrs Fitzadam's face she could not second the wish but without Mrs Jamieson said Miss Pole with just a sound of offended merit in her voice we the ladies of Cranford in my drawing room assembled can resolve upon something I imagine we are none of us what may be called rich though we all possess a genteel competency sufficient for tastes that are elegant and refined and would not if they could be vulgarly ostentatious here I observed Miss Pole refer to a small card concealed in her hand on which I imagine she had put down a few notes Miss Smith she continued addressing me familiarly known as Mary to all the company assembled but this was a state occasion I have conversed in private I made it my business to do so yesterday afternoon with these ladies on the misfortune which has happened to our friend and one and all of us have agreed that while we have a superfluity it is not only a duty but a pleasure a true pleasure Mary her voice was rather choked just here and she had to wipe her spectacles before she could go on to give what we can to assist her Miss Matilda Jenkins only in consideration of the feelings of delicate independence existing in the mind of every refined female I was sure she had got back to the card now we wish to contribute our mites in a secret and concealed manner so as not to hurt the feelings I have referred to and our object in requesting you to meet us this morning is that believing you are the daughter that your father is in fact her confidential advisor in all pecuniary matters we imagine that by consulting with him you might devise some mode in which our contribution could be made to appear the legal due which Miss Matilda Jenkins ought to receive from probably your father knowing her investments Miss Pole concluded her address and looked round for approval and agreement I have expressed your meaning ladies have I not and while Miss Smith considers what reply to make allow me to offer you some little refreshment I had no great reply to make I had more thankfulness at my heart for their kind thoughts than I cared to put into words and so I only mumbled out something to the effect that I would name what Miss Pole had said to my father and that if anything could be arranged for Miss Matty and here I broke down utterly and had to be refreshed with a glass of cow slip wine before I could check the crying which had been repressed for the last two or three days the worst was all the ladies cried in concert even Miss Pole cried who had said a hundred times that to betray emotion before anyone was a sign of weakness and want of self-control she recovered herself into a slight degree of impatient anger directed against me as having set them all off and moreover I think she was vexed that I could not make a speech back in return for hers and if I had known beforehand what was to be said and had a card on which to express the probable feelings that would rise in my heart I would have tried to gratify her as it was Mrs Forrester was the person to speak when we had recovered our composure I don't mind among friends stating that I know I'm not poor exactly but I don't think I'm what you may call rich I wish I were for dear Miss Matty's sake but if you please I'll write down in a sealed paper what I can give I only wish it was more my dear Mary I do indeed now I saw why paper pens and ink were provided every lady wrote down the sum she could give annually signed the paper and sealed it mysteriously if their proposal was succeeded to my father was to be allowed to open the papers under pledge of secrecy if not they were to be returned to their writers when the ceremony had been gone through I rose to depart but each lady seemed to wish to have a private conference with me Miss Pole kept me in the drawing room to explain why in Mrs Jamieson's absence she had taken the lead in this movement as she was pleased to call it and also to inform me that she had heard from good sources that Mrs Jamieson was coming home directly in a state of high displeasure against her sister-in-law who was forthwith to leave her house and was she believed to return to Edinburgh that very afternoon of course this piece of intelligence could not be communicated before Mrs Fitzadam more especially as Miss Pole was inclined to think that Lady Glenmar's engagement to Mr Hoggins could not possibly hold against the blaze of Mrs Jamieson's displeasure a few hearty inquiries after Miss Matty's health concluded my interview with Miss Pole on coming downstairs I found Mrs Forrester waiting for me at the entrance to the dining parlour she drew me in and when the door was shut she tried two or three times to begin on some subject which was so unapproachable apparently that I began to despair of our ever getting to a clear understanding at last out it came the poor old lady trembling all the time as if it were a great crime which she was exposing to daylight in telling me how very very little she had to live upon a confession which she was brought to make from a dread lest we should think that the small contribution named in her paper bore any proportion to her love and regard for Miss Matty and yet that sum which she so eagerly relinquished was in truth more than a 20th part of what she had to live upon and keep house and a little serving made all has became one born a Tyrell and when the whole income does not nearly amount to a hundred pounds to give up a 20th of it will necessitate many careful economies and many pieces of self denial small and insignificant in the world's account but bearing a different value in another account book that I have heard of she did so wish that she was rich she said and this wish she kept repeating with no thought of herself in it only with a longing yearning desire to be able to heap up Miss Matty's measure of comforts it was some time before I could console her enough to leave her and then on quitting the house I was waylaid by Mrs Fitzadam who had also her confidence to make a pretty nearly the opposite description she had not liked to put down all that she could afford and was ready to give she told me she thought she never could look Miss Matty in the face again if she presumed to be giving her so much as she should like to do Miss Matty continued she that I thought was such a fine young lady when I was nothing but a country girl coming to market with eggs and butter and such like things for my father though well to do would always make me go on as my mother had done before me and I had to come into Cranford every Saturday and see after sales and prices and whatnot and one day I remember I met Miss Matty in the lane that leads to Comhurst she was walking on the footpath which you know is raised a good way above the road and a gentleman rode beside her and was talking to her and she was looking down at some primroses she had gathered and pulling them all to pieces and I do believe she was crying but after she had passed she turned around and ran after me to ask oh so kindly about my poor mother who lay on her deathbed and when I cried she took hold of my hand to comfort me and the gentleman waiting for her all the time and her poor heart very full of something I am sure and I thought it's such an honour to be spoken to in that pretty way by the rector's daughter who visited at Arley Hall I have loved her ever since though perhaps I'd no right to do it but if you can think of any way in which I might be allowed to give a little more without anyone knowing it I should be so much obliged to you my dear and my brother would be delighted to doctor her for nothing medicines leeches and all I know the tea and her ladyship my dear I little thought in the days I was telling you of that I should ever come to be sister-in-law to a ladyship would do anything for her we all would I told her I was quite sure of it and promised all sorts of things in my anxiety to miss Matthew who might well be wondering what had become of me absent from her two hours without being able to account for it she had taken very little note of time however as she'd been occupied in numberless little arrangements preparatory to the great step of giving up her house it was evidently a relief to her to be doing something in the way of retrenchment for as she said whenever she paused to think the recollection of the poor fellow with his bad five pound note came over her and she felt quite dishonest only if it made her so uncomfortable what must it not be doing to the directors of the bank who must know so much more of the misery consequent upon this failure she almost made me angry by dividing her sympathy between these directors whom she imagined overwhelmed by self-reproach for the management of other people's affairs and those who were suffering like her indeed of the two she seemed to think poverty a lighter burden than self-reproach but i privately doubted if the directors would agree with her old hoards were taken out and examined as to their money value which luckily was small or else i don't know how miss mattie would have prevailed upon herself to part with such things as her mother's wedding ring the strange uncouth brooch with which her father had disfigured his shirt frill etc however we arranged things a little in order as to their pecuniary estimation and were all ready for my father when he came the next morning i am not going to weary you with the details of all the business we went through and one reason for not telling about them is that i didn't understand what we were doing at the time and cannot recollect it now miss mattie and i sat assenting to accounts and schemes and reports and documents of which i do not believe we either of us understood a word for my father was clear-headed and decisive and a capital man of business and if we made the slightest inquiry or expressed the slightest want of comprehension he had a sharp way of saying hey hey it's as clear as daylight what's your objection and as we had not comprehended anything of what he had proposed we found it rather difficult to shape our objections in fact we never were sure if we had any so presently miss mattie got into a nervously acquiescent state and said yes and certainly at every pause whether required or not but when i once joined in as chorus to a decidedly pronounced by miss mattie in a tremblingly dubious tone my father fired round at me and asked me what was there to decide and i'm sure to this day i have never known but injustice to him i must say he had come over from drumble to help miss mattie when he could ill spare the time and when his own affairs were in a very anxious state while miss mattie was out of the room giving orders for luncheon and sadly perplexed between her desire of honoring my father by a delicate dainty meal and her conviction that she had no right now that all her money was gone to indulge this desire i told him of the meeting of the cranford ladies at miss poles the day before he kept brushing his hand before his eyes as i spoke and when i went back to martha's offer the evening before of receiving miss mattie as a lodger he fairly walked away from me to the window and began drumming with his fingers upon it then he turned abruptly round and said see mary how a good innocent life makes friends all round confound it i could make a good lesson out of it if i were a person but as it is i can't get a tail to my sentences only i'm sure you feel what i want to say you and i will have a walk after lunch and talk a bit more about these plans the lunch a hot savory mutton chop and a little of the cold loin sliced and fried was now brought in every morsel of this last dish was finished to martha's great gratification then my father bluntly told miss mattie he wanted to talk to me alone and he would stroll out and see some of the old places and then i could tell her what plan we thought desirable just before we went out she called me back and said remember dear i'm the only one left i mean there's no one to be hurt by what i do i'm willing to do anything that's right and honest and i don't think if deborah knows where she is she'll care so very much if i'm not genteel because you see she'll know all dear only let me see what i can do and pay the poor people as far as i'm able i gave her a hearty kiss and ran after my father the result of our conversation was this if all parties were agreeable martha and jem were to be married with as little delay as possible and they were to live on in miss mattie's present abode the sum which the cranford ladies had agreed to contribute annually being sufficient to meet the greater part of the rent and leaving martha free to appropriate what miss mattie should pay for her lodgings to any little extra comforts required about the sale my father was dubious at first he said the old rectory furniture however carefully used and reverently treated would fetch very little and that little would be but as a drop in the sea of the debts of the town and county bank but when i represented how miss mattie's tender conscience would be soothed by feeling that she had done what she could he gave way especially after i had told him the five pound note adventure and he had scolded me well for allowing it i then alluded to my idea that she might add to her small income by selling tea and to my surprise for i had nearly given up the plan my father grasped at it with all the energy of a tradesman i think he reckoned his chickens before they were hatched he immediately ran up the profits of the sales that she could affect in cranford to more than 20 pounds a year the small dining parlour was to be converted into a shop without any of its degrading characteristics a table was to be the counter one window was to be retained unaltered and the other changed into a glass door i evidently rose in his estimation for having made this bright suggestion i only hoped we should not both fall in miss mattie's but she was patient and content with all our arrangements she knew she said that we should do the best we could for her and she only hoped only stipulated that she should pay every farthing that she could be said to owe for her father's sake who had been so respected in cranford my father and i had agreed to say as little as possible about the bank indeed never to mention it again if it could be helped some of the plans were evidently a little perplexing to her but she had seen me sufficiently snubbed in the morning for want of comprehension to venture on too many inquiries now and all passed over well with the hope on her part that no one would be hurried into marriage on her account when we came to the proposal that she should sell tea i could see it was rather a shock to her not on account of any personal loss of gentility involved but only because she distrusted her own powers of action in a new line of life and would timidly have preferred a little more privation to any exertion for which she feared she was unfit however when she saw my father was bent upon it she sighed and said she would try and if she didn't do well of course she might give it up one good thing about it was she didn't think men ever bought tea and it was of men particularly that she was afraid they had such sharp loud ways with them and did up accounts and counted their change so quickly now if she might only sell comforts to children she was sure she could please them to be continued
