Hello and welcome,
I'm Lissa Sandler.
Today,
We're going to work with something that can be so subtle,
We don't always recognize it while it's happening.
The energy of the inner critic.
The part of us that believes we should be doing better.
That we should have handled something differently.
Or that somehow we need to become a better version of ourselves before we can feel good about who we are.
Sometimes this energy shows up as perfectionism.
Sometimes it's the need to control an outcome.
To know how something is going to unfold.
Or to make everything go according to plan.
And sometimes it's simply a feeling of contraction in the body.
A heaviness in the stomach,
A tightness in the chest,
A sense of pressure that we carry without even realizing it.
What I've come to recognize through my own inner voice practice is that underneath some of these patterns is a very simple belief.
Who I am,
Or what I've done.
Isn't quite enough.
And when we believe that,
Even unconsciously,
We can begin rejecting ourselves in that very moment we're trying so hard to improve ourselves.
Today we're going to bring awareness to that energy.
We're not going to try to silence the inner critic or convince ourselves to think more positively.
We're going to notice the frequency we're carrying.
To experience it directly.
And give it the space to shift.
Because sometimes the most profound change happens when we stop trying to change ourselves.
Find a comfortable position.
Allow your eyes to close.
Take a nice slow breath in.
And a gentle exhale out.
And again,
Breathe in.
And as you breathe out,
Allow your shoulders to soften.
As you continue breathing,
Release any tension around your jaw.
Relax the muscles around your eyes.
And allow your belly to soften.
Now bringing your awareness to the central channel.
Imagine a beautiful stream of light moving from above your crown down through the center of your body.
And into the earth beneath you.
Feel yourself connected to the spaciousness above.
And the steadiness below.
Take four slow,
Natural breaths here as you envision the light going up and down as you breathe this central channel.
Allow your attention to settle into the part of you that observes.
Your inner voice.
The awareness that can witness your thoughts,
Your emotions,
And physical sensations without needing to become involved.
In their stories.
Breathe out and listen.
Now I'd like you to bring to mind a recent moment when you were hard on yourself.
Perhaps something didn't go the way you wanted.
Maybe you made a mistake.
Maybe you felt disappointed with yourself or frustrated because something wasn't happening quickly enough.
Perhaps you've been trying to make a decision and you've been going over every possible outcome in your mind and you're feeling that pushing,
That gripping feeling.
Or maybe there's an area of your life where you're putting a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself to get things right.
Allow one experience to come into your awareness.
And choose something you feel comfortable exploring today.
Notice what happens inside you when you think about that experience.
What is the emotion or frequency that comes forward?
Is it frustration?
Fear,
Maybe disappointment,
Shame,
Anxiety.
Perhaps it's a sense of urgency.
Pressure.
A resistance.
Maybe it's clenching.
Maybe it's suffocating.
You may notice several emotions or feelings at once.
Simply become aware of what is present.
Now ask yourself.
.
.
What am I expecting of myself in this situation?
Am I asking myself to be different from who I am right now?
Am I believing that I need something outside of me to happen before I can feel at peace with myself?
Notice what comes forward.
We aren't looking for an intellectual answer.
We're allowing awareness to reveal what is underneath the surface.
That's a very different feeling.
We're not trying to create something.
We're being curious about what's already there.
What are we finding?
When we simply put our awareness.
Inside of our body.
Inside of our inner world.
Now let's move out of the story and into the body.
You don't need to continue thinking about what happened.
You don't need to figure out who was right.
What went wrong?
Or how to make the situation better.
For now,
Simply let it all rest.
Bring your awareness to the emotion itself.
Where do you feel the emotion or the energy?
In your body.
Perhaps there's tightness in your solar plexus,
A knot in your stomach.
Pressure across your chest.
Constriction in your throat.
Take your time locating the center of your sensation.
If this sensation had a shape.
What shape would it be?
Does it feel like a ball?
A stone?
Something clamping you or a tightly wound cord.
Or perhaps it is something completely different.
Allow the shape to reveal itself?
Does this shape have a texture?
A temperature.
Or a color.
And recently,
Rather than thinking of it as a shape,
We have been thinking of it just as energy.
And if that works better for you,
Feel free to use that.
Think of this as simply energy.
Somewhere in your body.
And it could have a feeling,
It might have a shape.
But it could simply just be energy.
Whatever it is that you feel,
Use your awareness.
Use that subtle ability to sense.
Figure out what you find when you investigate and you become curious.
Wear this.
Energy,
This shape is living within your body.
And once you have noticed and you've found where it's at in your body.
Now notice if it's moving.
Energy or shape or if it's still or maybe it's expanding or contracting.
Just notice this frequency.
As it actually exists within you.
You don't need to make sense of it,
Just feel it.
And here's where I'd like you to pay particular attention.
As you sit with this sensation.
Notice whether another part of you wants to make it go away.
Perhaps there's a subtle desire to release it quickly.
You want to do it the right way.
You want to feel better.
To have a breakthrough.
Or maybe you simply want to get back to the version of yourself that feels calm,
Confident,
And aligned.
And if you notice any of that,
Just become curious.
Because sometimes the very energy we're trying to release is the energy we're using to try to release it.
What if in this moment there was absolutely nothing you needed to improve?
What if there was nothing you needed to accomplish?
See if you can allow yourself to be exactly as you are.
Even with this emotion.
Even with this contraction.
Even with the part of you that wants things to be different.
And if you notice resistance to accepting yourself,
That's okay.
Okay,
Too.
Simply become aware of that resistance.
You don't need to fix that either.
Now return your full attention to the sensation in your body.
This is our beanbag.
Begin breathing gently into that place.
Inhale.
Bringing your awareness directly to the center of that energy or feeling.
And then exhale.
Again,
Breathe into the sensation.
Allow yourself to feel it Remembering you don't have to understand why it is there.
And you don't have to give it a new meaning.
Simply allow the sensation to exist within your awareness.
Notice whether you're holding against it in any way.
Perhaps you're bracing your stomach,
Tightening your chest,
Holding your breath,
Gripping your hands,
Or maybe you're trying to push the emotion away.
See if you can soften around the sensation.
Without trying to change the sensation itself.
Continue breathing naturally.
Allow your awareness to remain on this part of your body.
If your mind begins telling the story again,
Gently return to the feeling,
To the physical feeling,
The shape.
The texture.
Energetic frequency.
And now without trying to create any particular result,
Notice what is happening.
Has this sensation moved?
Has it changed shape?
Does it feel more spacious?
Or is it still asking for your attention?
Whatever is present,
Allow it.
If the sensation feels overwhelming,
Open your eyes and reconnect with the room.
You can always return to the practice another time.
Remember you can move,
You can shake.
You can stretch You can shiver and shake,
Whatever helps you move the energy.
But none of this is required.
Whatever feels good to you.
Whatever your inner voice is calling for you to do is what you should do.
Let's continue sitting with this feeling,
Breathing into it,
Feeling it,
And allowing it.
Now I'd like you to gently bring the energy of acceptance into your awareness.
Knot is something you need to manufacture.
Simply as a willingness to stop arguing with what is already there.
You might silently say to yourself.
I can allow myself to be as I am in this moment.
I don't have to earn my own acceptance.
I can care deeply about my life without having to control every outcome.
Now release even those words and return to the sensation,
The energy.
Return to your awareness.
Your awareness is the great eraser.
Allow your awareness to simply be.
Now I'd like you to notice something.
Is there any part of you that feels different from when we began?
Perhaps there's a little more space in your chest?
Perhaps your stomach feels lighter or softer.
Perhaps your breath has changed.
Or perhaps you're simply more aware.
Of the pattern you've been carrying.
There is value in that awareness,
Even if this sensation hasn't disappeared.
Consider the possibility that your inner critic has been trying to protect you Perhaps perfectionism has been a way of avoiding disappointment.
And perhaps controlling outcomes has helped you stay safe.
You don't need to judge these patterns.
You can simply recognize that they may have served a purpose while also becoming aware of whether they are still serving you.
And you can choose to meet the part of yourself that carries these patterns with compassion.
The same compassion you might offer someone you deeply love.
Notice what happens when you stop asking yourself to be better and you simply allow yourself to be.
Now imagine returning to the situation you brought to mind at the beginning of this practice.
You don't need to replay the details,
Simply notice how you relate to it now.
Is there anything different about the way you're holding it?
Anything different about the way you are sensing it.
Perhaps you can recognize that you still care about the outcome without carrying the same pressure.
You can still have high standards without using them to reject yourself.
And you can still take thoughtful action.
Without needing to know exactly how everything will unfold.
And you can continue growing without making who you are today somehow less worthy of acceptance.
Ask your inner voice what would it feel like to move forward from acceptance rather than self-criticism?
What might I be able to release if I trusted myself a little more?
Remembering not to force an answer,
But allow.
Allow whatever wants to come forward to come forward and if nothing comes that's okay.
Sometimes the shift is something we feel long before we can put it into words.
Begin to expand your awareness to your entire body.
Notice your feet.
Your legs.
Your hips and your belly.
Your heart.
Your shoulders Your face.
And slowly Comfortably breathe in.
And release.
Feeling the steadiness of the earth beneath you.
Noticing the space around you Gently move your fingers and toes,
And when you're ready,
You can gently open your eyes Thank you for practicing with me.
If this meditation supported you,
I invite you to follow me here on Insight Timer for more inner voice,
Meditation,
And sound healing practices.
Until next time,
Keep listening inward and your awareness is always available to you.
