Hello and welcome.
I'm Lissa Sandler,
An inner voice facilitator and sound and meditation practitioner.
Today I'd like to introduce to you a practice that has become such an important part of my own life and the work I do with others.
It's a way of connecting with your inner voice,
Becoming aware of the emotional energy you're carrying,
And learning how to gently release what no longer needs to be held.
Before we begin,
I want to share something about inner voice,
Because understanding this can change the way you relate to your thoughts,
Emotions,
And even the challenges you experience in life.
I'd like you to imagine a beautiful,
Expansive blue sky.
Now imagine clouds moving across that sky.
Some are light and wispy,
Others are dark,
Heavy,
And dense.
Sometimes the clouds gather so closely together that you can't see the blue sky at all.
But here is what I want you to remember.
The sky hasn't gone anywhere.
It is always there even when you can't see it.
And this is how I'd like you to think about our inner voice.
Our thoughts are like the clouds.
They come and go.
Some are pleasant.
Some are fearful and full of self-doubt.
And others carry memories or stories about the things that happened long ago.
We spend so much of our time paying attention to these clouds,
Following them,
Believing them,
And sometimes becoming completely absorbed by them.
But underneath all of that mental activity is something much more spacious.
Your awareness.
Your inner voice.
That wise,
Steady part of your inner world that can observe your thoughts without becoming them.
Your inner voice isn't something you need to create or earn.
It is already part of you.
And you can learn to become quiet enough to listen and begin to recognize the difference between constant activity of the mind and the deeper knowing within you.
Think about that for a moment.
You can notice a thought without following it.
You can experience emotion without becoming the emotion.
You can become aware of fear without allowing fear to make every decision for you.
The part of you that is aware of all of this is what we are going to connect with today.
Now I'd like to introduce you to something we call a beanbag.
And inner voice work.
We use the word beanbag to describe emotional energy that we're carrying with us.
Perhaps you've experienced something upsetting and even though the situation has passed,
You still feel it in your body.
Maybe your stomach tightens when you think about a conversation.
Maybe you feel heaviness in your chest when you're disappointed,
Or perhaps you notice pressure in your throat when there's something you haven't expressed.
The word beanbag actually originates from the person who taught me this process was having an overwhelming feeling of anxiety one night.
And as she lied in her bed,
She could actually feel that anxiety as if it was a huge beanbag on top of her pressing down on her chest.
And then she remembered what Eckhart Tolle teaches,
Which is that we all have a pain body.
Places where we store unprocessed emotion and we carry this pain body with us throughout life until we decide to stop.
And process emotions as they come up,
Even past emotions as they get triggered,
To stop and process them in this way that we're going to through this beanbag process.
Sometimes we're very aware of the emotion.
We know when we're angry,
Sad,
Afraid,
Or frustrated.
Other times we simply feel uncomfortable or unsettled and we don't quite know why.
These are the experiences we can explore through beanbagging,
And the process is quite simple,
Although it can be surprisingly profound.
Practice entails,
Instead of trying to figure out why we're feeling something,
We're going to bring our awareness directly to the sensation itself.
We aren't going to try to analyze the story,
Blame someone,
Or try to talk ourselves out of feeling this emotion.
We're simply going to feel what is present.
I often remind people that awareness itself can be transformative.
When we stop resisting a feeling and give it our full attention,
We may begin to notice that it changes.
Sometimes it softens.
Sometimes it moves.
Sometimes it simply becomes easier to be with.
And sometimes we discover that what we thought was anger or frustration has something else underneath it.
There's no particular result we're trying to achieve.
We're practicing being present with ourselves.
Let's begin.
Find a comfortable place where you can sit or lie down without being disturbed.
If you're comfortable closing your eyes,
Go ahead and do that now.
Otherwise,
Simply soften your gaze.
Feel the support beneath your body.
Allow your shoulders to relax.
Soften your jaw.
Unclench your hands.
And take a nice,
Slow,
Deep breath in.
And gently release through your mouth.
Let's take another breath together.
Inhaling slowly.
And then exhale completely.
Allow the exhale to be longer than the inhale.
Now imagine that beautiful blue sky again.
See the clouds moving gently across it.
You don't have to stop the clouds.
You don't have to chase them away.
Simply allow your attention to move beyond them into the spaciousness to the sky itself.
Become aware of the part of you that is witnessing your experience.
This is your inner voice.
Now I'd like you to gently turn your awareness inward.
Ask yourself,
What am I feeling right now?
Perhaps there's an emotion you've been carrying today.
Maybe it's frustration,
Confusion,
Sadness.
Anger fear.
Disappointment Or perhaps there's simply a feeling you can't quite name.
That's okay too.
You don't need to find the perfect word.
Just become aware of the emotional frequency that is present.
If several emotions are present,
See if one feels especially strong or wants your attention.
Allow that to be the feeling you work with today.
Now keeping your attention on that emotion,
I'd like you to notice where you feel it in your physical body.
Take your time.
Sensing into where is this sensation in your physical body.
Perhaps it's in your stomach.
Your chest.
Your solar plexus,
Your throat.
Maybe it's behind your ears,
In your shoulders,
Or somewhere else entirely.
Don't try to decide where it should be,
Just notice where you actually feel it.
Once you've found the place,
Gently bring your awareness there.
Notice the physical sensation.
You don't need to change anything,
Just observe.
Now we are going to become a little more curious about this feeling.
If the sensation in your body had a shape,
What shape would it be?
Perhaps it feels like a ball.
Anon.
A heavy stone.
Tight band.
A clamp.
Or perhaps something that doesn't have a familiar shape at all.
Allow your imagination and your body's own awareness to show you.
Now notice whether it has a size.
Is it small and concentrated?
Or does it spread across a larger area?
Does it have a color?
What about a texture?
Does it feel rough or smooth,
Sticky,
Hard,
Or soft?
Is there a temperature?
Perhaps it feels warm,
Cool,
Or neutral.
And finally,
Notice whether it feels still or whether there's movement.
Maybe it has pulses,
Twists,
Vibrates,
Or contracts.
There's no right or wrong way to experience this,
And if you don't see a shape or color that is perfectly fine,
Stay with the physical sensation that you can feel.
Now this next part is especially important.
I'd like you to gently let go of the story surrounding the emotion.
You may know exactly what happened that caused you to feel this way.
You may have a very good reason to feel angry,
Hurt,
Disappointed,
Or afraid.
We're not denying any of that.
But for the next few moments,
We're going to set the story aside.
Imagine those thoughts as clouds passing across the beautiful blue sky.
You can acknowledge them without following them.
Return your attention to the physical sensation in your body.
This is where we're going to place our awareness.
You don't have to understand it.
You don't have to explain it.
You don't have to make it go away.
Simply feel what is there.
Now,
With your awareness resting gently on that place in your body,
Begin to breathe.
Imagine bringing your breath and awareness directly to the sensation.
And then when you're ready,
Exhale through your mouth.
Repeating that process again.
And again.
Breathe into that place.
And release continue breathing naturally.
Noticing what happens when you allow yourself to feel the sensation without resisting it.
You might notice it beginning to soften.
It might change shape.
It actually might move to another place in your body,
Or it might stay exactly as it is for a while.
And all of this is okay.
If you notice thoughts returning,
Remember our sky.
The clouds are simply passing through.
Gently return to your awareness.
Return to the sensation and breathe.
Now check in with this sensation.
Has anything changed?
Perhaps the tightness is less intense.
Perhaps the heaviness has shifted.
Perhaps you feel warm,
Tingling,
Or a sense of movement.
And again,
Maybe nothing has changed yet,
And that is okay.
If the feeling is manageable,
Continue giving it your gentle attention.
If it becomes too intense,
Open your eyes,
Feel the ground beneath you,
And return to your natural breathing.
Let's stay here a little longer,
Breathing,
Feeling,
And observing.
Now gently notice how you're feeling.
Return your awareness to that place in your body where you first noticed the emotion.
What is present now?
Has the shape changed?
As the sensation softens,
Do you notice more space?
If there's still some emotion there,
You don't need to force it to leave.
You can continue breathing into it as long as it feels comfortable.
Sometimes emotional energy shifts quickly,
Other times we need to return to it more than once.
What matters is that you have taken the time to listen to yourself.
Now gradually allow your awareness to expand beyond that one place in your body.
Feel your whole body resting here,
Your feet.
Your legs.
Your belly.
Your chest.
Your shoulders your face Take a comfortable breath in.
And release.
I'd like you to return once more to the image of the sky.
Perhaps the clouds have shifted Perhaps there's a little more blue showing through.
Or maybe the sky feels a little cloudy today.
Whatever you notice is okay.
Remember,
The sky has been here the entire time.
Your inner voice,
Your awareness,
That wise part of you is always available.
You don't have to wait until life is peaceful to connect with it.
You can return to your awareness in the middle of a difficult day,
An uncomfortable emotion,
Or a challenging experience.
And every time you do,
You're strengthening your relationship with that part of yourself.
Take a moment to acknowledge yourself for showing up today,
For being willing to feel,
For listening,
For allowing yourself to be exactly as you are.
Begin to notice the room around you.
Feeling the surface supporting your body Gently moving your fingers and toes.
And when you're ready You may slowly open your eyes.
Thank you for spending this time with me.
My hope is that this practice gives you a new way of relating to your emotions.
One that begins with curiosity,
Awareness,
And acceptance.
Beanbagging or emotional energy release is something you can return to whenever you notice an emotion asking for your attention.
Remember,
You don't have to wait until something is wrong to connect with your inner voice.
The more you practice listening,
The more familiar that your inner awareness becomes.
If you enjoyed this meditation,
I invite you to follow me here on Insight Timer,
Where I share practices to help you reconnect with your inner knowing through meditation,
Inner voice,
And healing sound.
Until next time,
Be gentle with yourself and remember,
The sky is always there.
